Change
by NettieC
Summary: A sequel to 36 Hours. Life for Harm, Mac and their children should be going much better than it is. Looks like there are changes ahead...major changes.
1. Chapter 1

**Change**

Happy New Year

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

Tuesday

It was the phone call every parent dreaded; the one that includes the words 'your child' 'injured' and 'ambulance'. Harm couldn't quite grasp the entire story but that was due more to the frantic nature of Harriet's call rather than his own abilities.

With Mac having been in Florida for the best part of two weeks for a conference she was co-organising and presenting, Lily had spent the afternoon with Harriet and her younger children, after an early finish to the school day.  
"Take a breath, Harriet," he said, trying to remain calm. "Then try again."  
Harriet's second effort made little more sense than the first.

Just as he was going to ask for a third attempt, Bud came rushing into his office, concern etched across his face. Asking Harriet to hold on a moment, Harm turned his attention to the younger man,  
"What is it?" he asked quickly.  
"Jimmy just called me, Lily had an accident," Bud started. "Something about her and Nikki and the trampoline."  
"Is she okay? Harriet's saying something about an ambulance?" Harm asked, his heart pounding against his ribs.  
"Jimmy thinks she may have broken her leg...s," Bud offered and Harm's eyes widened.  
"Legs?" he repeated, Bud could only nod.  
"Harriet?" Harm said into the phone.  
"Bud's right," she replied, having heard the conversation. "I'm not totally sure but she's saying they both hurt."  
"Is she in much pain?" he asked, tearing up at the very thought.  
"I think she's in shock," Harriet replied. "She's gone very quiet....I can hear the ambulance, Harm...I have to go."  
"I'll meet you at Bethesda."

The arrangements with Bud were fairly simple. The men would exchange cars, at the end of the day Bud would pick up Mac and Harm's twins from the nearby day care and take Harry and Rose back to his place for the night.

As he rushed into the Emergency Room, Harm tried to compose himself. While he felt completely overwhelmed by the fact his seven year old was in hospital, he knew he had to appear calm and confident – if not for Lily's sake, then for Harriet's.

His composure lasted until he saw his little girl asleep on the gurney courtesy of the pain relief medication, her pale skin a match for the hospital linen. The tears which had been stinging his eyes on the trip in tumbled over.  
"Harm, I'm so sorry!" Harriet exclaimed the minute she spied him.  
"It's okay, Harriet," he replied, his eyes never leaving his daughter's face. "Accidents happen."  
"I've told the kids so many times about one person at a time on the trampoline...they know the rules.... I can't believe..." she rambled, needing Harm to understand she hadn't been negligent when it came to her goddaughter.  
"I know, Harriet," he answered, glancing in her direction and patting her arm. "It's okay. I don't blame you."  
"Oh, thank goodness," she mumbled in relief. "You know I'd never do anything to hurt her."  
"Of course I know that," he replied, moving up to his daughter and gently kissing her forehead. "Hey, pumpkin," he whispered. "Daddy's here."

Lily didn't wake and Harm had to concede it was probably a good thing. Taking her hand in his, he sat in the chair by the gurney and studied her face. Lifting his other hand, he traced his finger across new bruises appearing on her face.  
"She did those too," Harriet all but whispered.  
"When will the doctor be in?" he asked, ignoring her comment.  
"The nurse thinks it will be about another twenty minutes. They did the x-rays on her as soon as we arrived," she reported.  
"Okay," Harm said nodding. Twenty minutes wasn't too long to wait, he conceded.

It wasn't too long in general time but when waiting for news of injuries to your baby girl, twenty minutes was an eternity. Glancing to his watch every few minutes, Harm could have sworn time was standing still.  
"Do you want to call Mac?" Harriet asked. "I can wait with Lily."  
"No, it's fine," he replied. "I'd rather wait until I know what's what first."  
"Okay," she said before a long pause. "Would you like some coffee? I can go get some."  
"No, it's fine," he replied, his attention still firmly fixed on his daughter.  
"Okay, she replied before drawing up another chair and sitting alongside him, joining him in the silence.

Before long a woman approached the bed, films in hand.  
"Commander Rabb?" she questioned, looking at Harm.  
"Yes," he replied, quickly getting to his feet.  
"Commander, I'm Commander Jessica Hollows. I'm a paediatric orthopaedist," she said, offering her hand to Harm.  
"Good to meet you, Commander," he replied. "How's Lily?" he continued, not thinking to introduce Harriet.

Moving to the display unit, Jessica hung up the three films in her hands and beckoned them over.  
"Commander, as you can see..." she began, tapping at the relevant parts of the x-rays. "Lily has sustained fractures to both ankles."  
"Oh no!" Harriet gasped.  
"They are fairly simple as fractures as they go, a result of the impact coming off the trampoline," the doctor continued.  
"But both!" Harriet said. She'd been hoping against hope that they were just sprained and bruised.  
"Yes," Commander Hollows said. "And really, it's probably for the best; it shows the impact was shared equally between her feet. Had Lily landed on one foot, chances are she would have shattered her ankle, so this is probably the best result."  
"How long will she be in plaster?" Harm asked, knowing that with summer approaching, his dancing, water baby wasn't going to be happy with her recovery limitations.  
"We don't use plaster these days," the doctor said, pulling down the x-rays. "We use a fibreglass compound and Lily can choose her colour. I'd say six weeks at a minimum for young Lily."  
"And crutches?" Harm asked.  
"Wheelchair," the doctor replied and continued quickly when she saw the concern spread across Harm's face. "With crutches, you put your weight on your good foot and not on your fractured one. Lily..."  
"Lily doesn't have a good one," Harm finished for her and shook his head. It made sense, he just wasn't thinking clearly at the moment.

It was a whirlwind three hours before Harm loaded Lily into the back on Bud's vehicle as Harriet hovered nearby.  
"You'll call if you need anything, won't you?" she questioned him as he fixed Lily's seatbelt.  
"Yes, I will," he replied, kissing his daughter's forehead as he stepped back from the car and closed the door. "Are you sure it's alright for the twins to stay with you?" he asked, not too sure how he'd manage the normal evening activities with the terrible two who were in their terrible twos, on top of Lily needing more TLC than normal.  
"I'm more than sure," she replied quickly. "It's the least I can do...after....well...Unless of course you don't trust me..." she trailed, her eyes filling with tears.  
"Hey, hey," Harm soothed as he gathered her in an embrace. "I trust you implicitly," he said, kissing her head. "It was just one of those things. I don't blame you."  
"I promise I was looking after..." she began but Harm hugged her again.  
"I know...I've told them about the trampoline at home many times too...it's just one of those things. I know the twins will be fine with you," he said, smiling at her. "I really do. After all, if I can't dump them on their godparents, where else can I dump them?" he asked with a grin.  
"Thank you," she replied, hugging him quickly. "Will you tell Mac I'm sorry too?"  
"I will, but I'm sure she'll say the same as I have," he reassured her before watching her make her way back to the waiting cab she had called and leaving.  
"Ready to go home, pumpkin?" he asked as he slid into the driver's seat.  
"Yes, daddy," Lily replied sleepily.  
"Let's get something special for dinner...just for you and me," he suggested as he reversed out of the parking lot. "What would you like, angel?"  
"Beltway Burgers," she replied with her mother's cheeky grin.  
Usually Harm would protest the greasy meal request but right now he'd give his little girl anything she wanted.

Later that evening, with Lily tucked up in bed feeling a little sore and sorry for herself, Harm parked the wheelchair in the living room lest Lily decided to get herself up during the night. Instead he left a bell by her bed and told her to ring it at any time, for anything.

After cleaning up the remnants of the day, Harm tried Mac's cell again. Hearing it go to voice once more, he sighed deeply, more than a little concerned that after four messages she hadn't called back. Sitting in the armchair he grabbed a family photo from the side table and studied it. While it had only been taken three months ago at the twins second birthday it felt like a lifetime.

With his eyes fixed on his wife's face, Harm could only wonder what was going on with her. There was no disputing she hadn't been herself for months now. She was overly emotional, argumentative, and snappy and Harm forever felt like he was walking on eggshells around her. It wasn't a constant thing, there were days when she was more like herself – but it never lasted long.

Harm had taken to noting her behaviour to see if he could find a pattern. He had tried talking to her, thinking it may have been her cycle and although he was calm and non-judgemental she had flown into a rage which resulted in their first night going to bed in separate rooms while in the same house. Still, at some early hour, Mac had crept into the study and slid onto the sofa with him - desperate for him, his understanding and his love. She knew none of this was his fault, and, truth be known, it wasn't hers either and while she knew she just wasn't herself, she also knew she was worse when Harm wasn't around.

Shaking his head, Harm replaced the photo and stood up wearily. Turning off the lights and locking the doors he headed to his bedroom and took a long shower before dressing in his short summer pyjamas and sliding into bed.

He hadn't been asleep long before he felt Mac's side of the bed dip. Opening an eye he looked into the darkness.  
"Daddy, can I sleep on mommy's side, please?" Lily asked.  
"Lily?" Harm said, propping himself up on an elbow. "Why did you get out of bed?"  
"I did ring the bell, daddy, but you didn't come," she reported, telltale tear trails down her cheeks.  
"What did you want, pumpkin?" he asked wrapping her in his arms.  
"I want mommy," she said tearfully as Harm pulled her close to him.  
"I want mommy too," Harm agreed kissing her head.  
"I miss her," she cried into Harm's chest.  
"I know you do, Lily, I know," he soothed.  
"When's she coming home?" she asked, trying to compose herself.  
"In a few days, angel," he said, kissing her head once more.

The loving care and comfort from her father were all Lily needed to fall asleep and as Harm kissed her once more he prayed that the Mac that came home would be the one they were all missing desperately.

xoxoxo


	2. Chapter 2

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

...................change................

In the early hours of the morning, Harm heard mumbling and instinctively pulled his daughter closer to him.

"It's alright, Lily," he muttered sleepily. "Mommy will be home soon."

"Mommy's home now," Mac hissed into the darkness causing him to startle.

"Mac?" he questioned, trying to sit up without disturbing their daughter.

"Yes, I'm home!" she said. "What the hell happened?" she asked stalking to the bed. "God, Harm, I've been gone less than two weeks and you put our daughter in a goddamned wheelchair!"

"She's okay, Mac," he tried to reassure her while wondering how she knew. "She sustained simple fractures to both ankles..."

"What the hell did you do to her?" she barked, her eyes wide.

"I did nothing," he replied firmly. "She had a fall off the trampoline..."

"God, I knew we shouldn't...." she interrupted.

"It was at Bud and Harriet's..." he corrected.

Silence followed as Mac tried to compose herself.

All she knew was when she turned her phone on after the keynote speaker had addressed the conference there were multiple missed calls and messages. Before she had a chance to return Harm's call, a clerk at Bethesda had phoned and informed Mac that the forms for the wheelchair hadn't been signed upon Lily's discharge and could she or her husband make sure they signed them when they attended the orthopaedist follow up appointment in two days.

When General Ian MacMillan, who was co - organiser with her, saw her confusion and distress, he instantly organised for her departure and with time of the essence, Mac was in the air before she even thought to call Harm back.

Now, standing in their bedroom, she tried to take it all in and remember to breathe.

"Mommy?" Lily questioned, trying to sit up.

"Yes, Lily, mommy's here," she said softly, sitting down on the edge of the bed and embracing her daughter.

"Missed you, mommy," Lily said, slumping into her mother's body.

"I missed you too, pumpkin," she replied, kissing her head.

"I broke my ankles," she reported, pulling back and looking sadly up at Mac. "I'm sorry, mommy. I know Nikki and me weren't supposed to be on it together."

"It's okay," she soothed, swiping her thumb over her daughter's cheek as her tears sprung over. "Don't cry, Lily, it's okay. Mommy's here."

Lily fell into Mac once more and held on tightly. While she loved her daddy very much, nothing provided her more comfort than having her mommy with her when she sick or hurt.

A few minutes later, and after kissing her daughter's head, Mac slipped out of her grasp and headed to the bathroom before returning ten minutes later dressed for bed. Climbing in beside her little girl, Mac wrapped her arms around the child and held her close.

"Love you, Lily," she whispered, kissing her head.

"Love you, mommy," she whispered in reply.

Harm had watched it all play out and could understand his wife's distress at their daughter's injuries – after all, he had been quite distressed himself. Still, he hadn't taken that distress out on anybody and felt quite hurt that Mac's instant reaction was to blame him.

"How'd you find out?" he asked into the darkness when he was sure Lily was asleep.

"Clerk from Bethesda called, said the wheelchair form hadn't been signed," Mac whispered.

"I did call you," he replied defensively. "Wanted you to find out from me rather than any other way."

"Had my phone switched off during the keynote address," she said, adjusting herself so she could look over at Harm.

"It wasn't my fault, you know," he reiterated still feeling hurt.

"I know, Harm. It was one of those things," she said with a sigh and while Harm wanted to know why the hell then she'd instantly blamed him he kept quiet for the sake of his daughter, and perhaps himself.

"Twins are with the Roberts, Bud will drop them off at day-care tomorrow," Harm reported before he could get into trouble for anything else.

"Okay," she replied wearily.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked, knowing his wife wouldn't have had anything to eat or drink for a while.

"No, thank you," she replied quite formally.

"Okay then," he said, and turned over in their bed. "Night."

"Night," replied Mac, wondering why Harm was acting differently towards her.

When Mac woke a couple of hours later, she was hungry and definitely thirsty. Forcing her eyes open, she looked over to Harm to see if he was still awake...and to see that perhaps his offer was still good. To her surprise she found his side was empty. Reaching out to it, she also discovered it was cold. Listening intently, she tried to figure out where he was but, with no discernable sounds to help her, she slipped out of bed to investigate.

Not finding him in the bathroom, kitchen, living room or study, Mac's concern grew. Scanning the twins room, she realised he wasn't their either and so she headed to Lily's bedroom. Standing in the door way Mac could only smile at the sight of her 6 foot plus husband folded up to fit in the small pink princess bed in the corner of the room. Moving closer to him, she stifled a laugh when she saw Lily's favourite bear tucked tightly into his arms.

"Harm," she whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Honey?" She leant down and kissed his head.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his eyes popping open.

"Nothing, nothing, shhh," she whispered, caressing his face. "Why are you sleeping in here?"

"Thought I'd give you two some space," he answered, scrubbing a hand over his face.

Mac shook her head; there were nights when all five had been in their king sized bed and never once had he left.

"Try again," she said, entwining her fingers with his.

"I didn't think you were that happy with me and figured you'd be happier if I wasn't there," he admitted and waited for the response. Truth was, he didn't want to give her another reason to be mad at him, however unfounded it may have been.

"I'm sorry, Harm," she said, threading her arms around him. "I was just upset about Lily. I didn't mean to take it out on you."

Wrapping his arms around her, Harm pulled her close; there was not much else he could say.

"Why are you up anyway?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"Needed something to eat and drink," she said, pressing in close to him.

"I did offer," he said as she pulled back from him.

"I know, I should have said yes," she said, looking sadly at him.

"How about we head to the kitchen as see what we can scare up?" he asked and smiled when she nodded. This was more the Mac he knew and loved.

While Mac poured herself a glass of milk, Harm fixed her grilled cheese. As he was leaning against the bench Mac padded over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I forgot something earlier," she said as his arms encircled her waist.

"Yeah, what was that?" he asked, leaning his forehead against hers.

"To kiss you hello," she whispered as she brushed her lips across his. "I missed you so much, Harm."

"Missed you too," he replied, his lips settling on hers.

"Love you," she mumbled into his mouth.

"Love you," he replied before the kiss took on a life of its own.

Alerted by the aroma by burning bread, Mac pulled back and grabbed the tray from the griller, frowning when she realised her snack was burnt.

"Oops," said Harm, grabbing the tray from her and tossing the smoking contents into the sink before turning on the faucet. "Let me fix you something else."

"No, it's okay," she replied, downing the last of her milk. "This will hold me until morning."

"You sure?" he asked, as she threaded her arm around his waist.

"Yeah," she said with a nod. "But there is something else you could do for me...if you want to..."

"What's that?" he asked, pulling her close.

"Can you come sleep in our bed with me?" she asked almost shyly.

"Of course I can," he replied, kissing her head.

"And can you hold me?" she asked, nestling her head into his chest.

"Easy done!"

With Lily sleeping starfish style on Mac's side of the bed, Mac slipped in from Harm's side and lay on her side facing him. Harm slid in after her and was more than happy to wrap her in his arms and hold her close. As he did, he allowed himself to breathe deeply and hope that Mac's earlier response was due only to Lily being hurt and nothing else.

//--//

Still feeling very tired and with next to no energy, Mac wasn't ready for morning to come when Lily tugged on her top a little after seven. Mac mumbled wearily and buried herself further into Harm.

"Mommy," Lily called in desperation and Harm peered over his wife's head to check on their little girl.

"What's up, pumpkin?" he asked, stretching his arm out to caress her face.

"Need the bathroom," she said earnestly, jiggling in the bed.

"Daddy will take you," he said wearily, attempting to extract himself from his wife.

"But I want mommy to do it," she protested but Harm shook his head.

"Mommy's very tired, Lily. We need to let her sleep," Harm replied, padding around the bed.

Lily pouted but protested no further; she knew her mom had been tired a lot lately and when tired was prone to be grumpy, and that was something she didn't want.

With his daughter in his bathroom, Harm sat waiting patiently on the end of his bed for the all clear to go and collect her. As he waited he watched Mac sleep and caught the grimace on her face as she went to roll over. Reaching out, he caressed her face in an attempt to provide comfort, but Mac withdrew from his touch and went under the quilt.

"All done, dad," Lily called and Harm opened the door to find his seven year old standing by the sink looking a sight in her knickers, Barbie pyjama top and two purple fibreglass casts which went from her feet to just below her knees.

"All better now?" he asked, scooping her up.

"Yes, thank you," she replied, draping her arms around Harm's neck.

"Now, it's only just gone seven, so what's say you climb into bed for a little longer with mommy and me?" he asked quietly.

"What about school?" she asked as he paused by the bed.

"I called Mrs Thompson last night and she said with both ankles broken she'd need some time to organise an assistant to help you with your wheelchair and the bathroom," Harm reported. "So, you get to stay home for the rest of the week and everything will be ready Monday."

"Yay!" she squealed. "It'll be like having snow days in summer."

"Sort of," Harm said. "Except Mrs Thompson is also going to give some work to Nikki and Michael for you to do at home."

"I guess that's alright," she replied after a short pause to consider the news.

Lily crawled into the bed and was situated between her parents. For a while she snuggled into Harm before sleepily rolling over and burying herself into Mac. When he was sure she was asleep, Harm got up, changed into his sweats and went for a short run.

Upon his return he was met by Lily lying on the bedroom floor crying and Mac sitting on the bed, clutching her back doing the same.

"Hey, hey," he said, scanning his daughter for any injuries before scooping her up. "What happened?"

"Mommy dropped me," Lily sobbed, crying into her father's chest.

"Did you hurt anything?" he asked, wiping her face before scanning her once more.

"No, daddy," she replied tearfully, clutching onto his tee.

"Then why are you crying?" he asked, sitting alongside Mac.

"Because mommy screamed when she dropped me and she's crying," she reported looking to her mother.

Slipping an arm around his wife, Harm gently pulled her closer and kissed her head.

"Are you okay?" he asked quietly and although she nodded it was clear to all that she most definitely wasn't. "What hurts?"

"My back," she admitted, leaning her head on his shoulder and trying to take deep breaths to both ease the pain and stop her tears.

"Did you pull a muscle or put it out?" he asked, wiping her face as Lily looked on more than concerned; she'd never seen her mother like this.

Mac shook her head before grimacing at the pain the action caused.

"What is it then?" he asked and when she looked up at him he put the pieces together.

Kissing his wife's head, Harm momentarily turned his attention to his daughter.

"Now, Lily, do you think you'll be okay if I put you in the living room and put some cartoons on?" he asked.

Lily's eyes widened. Harm's steadfast rule was no television on a weekday before school. "Really?"

"Really," he confirmed, picking her up.

"That'll be cool, dad," she answered and Harm carried her out before settling her on the sofa and switching the television on.

"Now, here's the remote," he said, handing her the device. "Daddy's just going to help mommy for a minute, okay? You stay put."

"Yes, daddy," she replied and Harm knew nothing short of World War III would move his daughter from the Cartoon Network.

xoxoxo


	3. Chapter 3

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

...................change................

Quickly Harm made his way back to his wife and dropped to his knees in front of her. Slowly he reached up and wiped away the tears which were still falling.

"Can you talk to me?" he asked quietly, as her face rested against his palm.

"Aha," she managed with a nod, a hand moving to clasp onto his wrist.

"What happened?" he asked, his caring blue eyes searching her brown pain filled ones.

"Lily was hungry so I picked her up to take her to the kitchen," Mac said, her voice shaky and small. "And then the pain hit so hard I dropped her – God, I'm so sorry, Harm. I never meant to hurt her." Her tears rained steadily.

"I know, I know," he said quickly, kissing her furrowed brow. "There was no damage done."

"I know but after the way I acted when I got home..." she began but Harm pressed his finger to her lips.

"It's okay, gorgeous, it's all okay," he reassured her. "Tell me about the pain."

"It's the endometriosis," she said sadly. "And it hurts like hell."

"It's been getting worse over recent months, hasn't it?" he asked and clenched his jaw. The last time he had mentioned her condition she had thrown the shoe which was in her hand at him, and being the marine she was, it had hit him squarely in the head.

"Aha," she said, nodding briefly, her words not coming freely.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, moving to sit alongside her.

"I don't know," Mac replied, shaking her head. "I guess I ..." She swallowed hard and fought back her tears. "I guess I didn't want to admit it was as bad as it is."

"What can I do for you?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"Not hate me," she whispered, on the verge of tears once more.

"Could never hate you," he soothed, kissing her head once more. "What else can I do?"

"Make Lily breakfast while I take a shower," she replied, placing a hand on Harm's shoulder to help herself stand up.

"Ah, Mac," he said quietly and moved to stand beside her. "Your ... ah, period has started."

"No, it hasn't," she replied with a quick shake of her head.

"I think it has, honey. There's a stain on your shorts and...." he trailed as his eyes drifted to the blood stain on the bedcovers.

Mac just nodded as she bit down on her lip.

"It um...hasn't started," she reiterated and studied her husband's confused expression.

"Then what is it?" he asked, standing and resting his hands on her shoulders.

"I still have it," she answered quietly, leaning against him.

"But your last period was due the day you left for Florida," he said, using his forefinger to raise her face to his.

"And it came...and stayed...and it's so so heavy and horrible and I've had enough of it," she admitted in a gush, as tears fell once more.

"Oh, Mac," he said, wrapping her up. It explained so much – not only the moods, but the fatigue, the pallor, the pain, the depression.

While he was prepared to hold onto her forever, Lily calling from the living room disturbed them and after gently kissing his wife, Harm made his way out to their daughter.

With pancakes prepared and the kitchen table set, Harm walked out to the living room to collect his daughter.

"Ready for breakfast, angel?" he asked as he flicked off the television.

"Mmm, yes please, daddy. They smell delicious," she said with a grin, eagerly going into her father's arms. "Are they choc chip?"

"Yes, they are," he replied. "Just something very special for my favourite girls," he added, lest she think any form chocolate was acceptable for breakfast.

"Daddy," Lily said quietly as she leaned her head against his. "Is mommy okay?"

"Yes, honey, she is," Harm replied, kissing her forehead.

"Are you sure?" she checked, quickly looking to the door to see if Mac was around.

"She has a sore back, but she'll be okay," he reported. At seven, he thought she was too young for any in depth information as to her mother's condition.

"She's not mad at me, is she?" she whispered.

Harm shook his head. "Of course not, why would you think that?"

"Because she was really upset and mad when she dropped me and it wasn't my fault, honest, dad, but it hurt her...I hurt her and I don't want her to be..." Lily gushed tearfully.

"No, baby, no," Mac said quickly, running over to the pair and embracing them both. "I was upset and mad at me, not you. I'm so sorry I dropped you. I love you very much, Lily Patricia MacKenzie Rabb . Do you hear me?"

"Yes, mommy," she replied, winding her arms around her mother's neck as Harm continued to hold her and support her weight.

"How about breakfast?" Harm suggested, wanting to break the moment before either of his girls got too distressed.

The morning was spent in sedate activities, much of it seeing Mac and Lily curled up together. Far from feeling left out, Harm could only smile at the comfort they seemed to be bringing to each other. After a light lunch, Harm ensured both were tucked up in bed for an afternoon nap before running some errands, swapping the car with Bud once more and picking the twins up early from day care.

As he got the twins out from the car, he hitched Harry up on his hip as he grabbed Rose's hand.

"Now," he began seriously. "Mommy and Lily are both home and are napping, so we have to be quiet, okay?"

Both nodded their consent but as soon as they were in the house they went scurrying to the master bedroom. Not to be outrun by a couple of two year olds, Harm caught up in a few long strides and scooped one up in each arm.

"Now what did I just say?" he said looking from one to the other.

"Want mommy!" demanded Rose, wriggling in his arms.

"Want mommy! Harry chimed in, attempting his own escape.

Harm sighed deeply; it was two weeks since they had seen their mother so he could understand their impatience.

"Okay," he conceded. "We can go and look but we have to be quiet."

"Okay, daddy," said Rose, while Harry just nodded.

With one twin on each hip, Harm opened the bedroom door slowly.

"Now remember we have to be really quiet," he said in hushed tones.

"Mommy!" Harry squealed as soon as she came into view, squirming to get out of his father's arms. Harm held on tightly to him; the last thing Mac needed was an incoming raid in the form of a duo toddler attack.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Rose sang out, swinging her legs to get Harm to let her down, but his grip tightened as Mac stirred and sat up in bed.

"Harry! Rosie Rose!" she exclaimed with a warm smile. "Come to mommy," she said opening her arms.

"You sure?" Harm checked as he propped himself on the end of the bed, the twins still firmly in his grasp.

"Sure am," Mac replied, any physical pain would be negligible in comparison to the amazing feeling of her adorable twins back in her arms.

After being released by their father, the duo scampered up the bed and into Mac's welcoming arms. Harm looked on as his wife bestowed countless kisses on their little heads and whispered her love and devotion to them over and over again. When Lily stirred in the bed, Rose turned her attention to her big sister while Harry settled himself in Mac's arms.

"What's the matter, little man?" she asked, surprised by the fact he was snuggling into her and not running amok around the room.

He didn't reply but nestled in closer and Mac kissed his forehead.

"He seems a little warm," she said, looking up at Harm.

"Yeah, I thought the same thing," Harm replied, rubbing his son's chubby leg. "Ellie said he wasn't himself at day care. Rose had lunch but Harry didn't and neither have had a nap."

"Are you feeling sick, Harry?" Mac asked as she gently caressed his face. Harry responded by burying his head under Mac's pyjama top and latching onto her nipple.

"Hey, hey," she said, trying to extract him. She'd stopped breastfeeding the twins during the day by the time they were one but continued with expressing and bedtime feeds. By the time they were sixteen months, Rose had preferred a nightly cuddle than being fed but Harry persisted, not settling to sleep unless he'd had at least a few minutes at his mother's breast.

Mac had thought she'd weaned him completely and he hadn't suckled at her breast since he was two, so this was a futile mission on his behalf.

"You're not going to get anything," she explained, peering at him through the neck of her top. "The milk bar is definitely closed."

Mac's words did nothing to deter the boy who was just happy being close to his mom.

"Think I should pull him away?" she asked, looking up at Harm.

"It's up to you, honey," he replied, rubbing her leg.

"I guess he'll let go when he's ready," she replied, settling back into her pillows.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked, his hand still running over her leg.

"Crawl in here for a few minutes and just be with us..." Mac replied.

She'd been away from them before but only for a night or two and even though, in her absence, she had been feeling sad and was in pain due to her period and complications, she'd also been fretting for her family making her time in Florida simply miserable. To make matters worse, she had lain in her hotel bed many a night thinking that her family were probably happier and better without her and her mood swings there.

Catching the plea in her tone, Harm stood and kissed her head before padding around to his side and stripping off to his boxers and tee before sliding in beside Lily. It wasn't long before everyone but he was sound asleep. Turning onto his side, he studied his family.

Lily was stirring and Harm knew she'd be awake soon. She looked just like her mom and slept the same way too – taking up as much of the bedspace and covers as she wanted, regardless of whoever else was in the bed.

Rose was curled up into her mother's side, her thumb stuck in her mouth. Rose had her mother's looks and father's disposition – quiet, curious and way too adventurous for her own good. In her two and a bit years she'd already given her parents a few frights, Harm could only wonder what she would do to them in the future.

Harry was the reverse with his father's looks and his mother's disposition – energetic, bold and with a never say die attitude. During the day, he preferred to be out and about with his dad but at night, he preferred to be in Mac's arms and preferably at her breast – Harm could only grin at the thought; definitely his father's son.

And then there was his beautiful wife, and although she was sleeping, Harm knew she was in pain as a grimace crossed her features every time Harry moved in her arms. Still as amazing in body as she was in spirit, Harm still found it hard to accept that it had taken them nearly eighteen years to get to this point. Eighteen years. And while time had taken its toll on them both, he still felt the same flutter today as he did all those years ago when they met in the rose garden.

Rose...the thought turned his attention back to his youngest daughter - Rose Sarah MacKenzie Rabb.

_Flashback_

_Wanting names that meant something, Mac had suggested, when eight months pregnant, that perhaps they consider naming the twins after Bud and Harriet. Harm had considered it but then thought it may be too weird to have a mini Bud and Harriet running underfoot. As a compromise, he had suggested that perhaps the male twin could be Harrison, or Harry for short – a masculine version of Harriet, to which Mac readily agreed...she'd always been fond of Harrison Ford, or rather Indiana Jones. So it was that Harrison Matthew MacKenzie Rabb was named._

_When it came to the female twin and the lack of variations of Bud, it was Lily who provided the answer._

_"Call her Rosebud," she had said, patting her mother's huge bump. "And then we'll both have flower names."_

_Thinking on it, Harm and Mac decided Rose would be perfect, it could be a tribute to Bud, a match for Lily and a reminder of the place where their love story began. After that decision, the second name was up for debate. While Lily had been given Harm's mother's name, and Harry would be given Mac's uncle's name, there was no other family member to name Rose after...one thing Mac was sure of was that she would never name a child of hers after her mother._

_As she had tossed and turned that night, feeling very fat and every day of her forty three years, Harm had stirred beside her._

_"You okay?" he mumbled, propping himself up to look at her._

_"Can't sleep," she replied gruffly, pulling at him to bring him closer._

_"What can I do?" he asked as she settled in his arms._

_"Give Rose a middle name," she said with a sigh, the indecision playing on her mind._

_"Well, if it's okay, I would like to name her after the most wonderful woman I've ever known," he replied quietly. "This woman is something really special; she's beautiful, she's courageous, amazing and just incredible..."_

_"Really?" Mac asked, not too sure where he was going._

_"Aha," he replied, kissing her head. "And if our little girl grows up anything like her then there will be no stopping her."_

_"Okay," Mac agreed, wanting only the best and brightest futures for her children._

_"So, is that a decision?" he asked, looking down at her._

_"Yeah, use the name that you want," she replied, slumping into him._

_Harm's hand slid under the covers and up under his wife's night shirt and settled on her extended abdomen._

_"Harrison Matthew and Rose Sarah, mommy and daddy can't wait to meet you," he whispered, before kissing her head._

_"Naming her after your grandmother is a lovely idea," Mac said, fighting the sleep which was claiming her._

_"My Stearman is named after my grandmother, Mac. My daughter will be named after the most amazing person I know - you."_

xoxoxo


	4. Chapter 4

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

...................change................

It wasn't long before Lily was awake and knowing Mac and the twins needed sleep, Harm quickly dressed once more before lifting his daughter from the bed.  
"Me too, daddy," Rose said holding out her arms.  
"You're supposed to be asleep, Rose," he said, turning around to the bed and smoothing the toddler's wild curly hair with a few strokes.  
"No sleep...go with you and Lily," she protested clambering towards him. From the day she could walk, Rose always wanted to be a part of anything which was happening and never liked no as an answer.  
"Rose..." he started but seeing Mac stir he decided a grumpy two year old later in the day was better than having his wife and son woken. "Okay, you can come too," he conceded, holding out his hand.  
"Carry me too," she said, thrusting her arms up at him. "Me the baby."  
"You're not a baby," Harm corrected softly. "You're daddy's big girl."  
"Carry me not Lily," she said earnestly, standing on the bed and jumping. A groan from Mac was all it took for Harm to scoop Rose up in his free arm and head out. "Piggy back, daddy," she pleaded, bouncing up and down.

Harm shook his head; how was it he could command a legion of men and women who jumped at every instruction but he couldn't make a two year old do the simplest of things?

Heading out to the kitchen, Harm shifted both girls to accommodate Lily's legs and Rose's struggle to be the only one in his arms. He shook his head again; who needed to worry about passing physicals when you had three children under eight?

"Who wants to help daddy with dinner?" he asked, as he eased Lily into a chair.  
"Me!!!" the girls answered in unison.  
"Great!" he replied with forced enthusiasm. While Lily shared his joy of cooking and often helped him in the kitchen, Rose had already proven to have inherited her mother's lack of culinary skills and while, like her mother, she often tried to help him, it wasn't the sort of help that wasn't beneficial.

Sitting Rose in her high chair, more for restraint than any other purpose, Harm brought the cloth over to clean both their hands.  
"What are we going to make, dad?" Lily asked, as he finished her hands and kissed her head.  
"I was thinking we make a special welcome home barbeque for mommy. What do you think?" he asked, pausing at the table.  
While Rose nodded eagerly, Lily studied her father sceptically.  
"A proper barbeque?" she checked, her fingers tapping on the table top.  
"Oh course," he replied. "I always make proper barbecues, pumpkin. Don't I?"  
"Not always," she replied honestly. "Last time you cooked fish and those tofu burgers and it was yuk!"  
"Yuk!" Rose chimed in.  
"I thought the burgers were great," he replied defensively.  
"I know, dad," she said, patting his arm. "But you like your meatless meatloaf too and that's double yuk."  
"Yuk!" Rose repeated.  
"You girls are just like your mom," he said with a shake of his head. Nearly two decades in and he had yet to convert Mac to the healthier ways of eating. "Well, you'll be pleased to know we have real meat tonight; steak for your mom and hamburgers for you guys."  
"Real hamburgers...with real meat and stuff?" Lily asked enthusiastically.  
"Real everything," Harm replied.

When he had gone into the grocery store prior to picking up the twins he hadn't a clue what to do about dinner but when he thought about doing something special for Mac, red meat seemed the best thing. Not only was he sure she liked it, she needed the iron it provided and if one slab of steak was going to make her feel a bit better then he'd cook the whole damn cow for her.

With both girls assigned to the 'fixings' detail, Harm turned his preparations to the meat, seasoning Mac's steak just the way she liked it. When finished he moved back to his daughters and saw the 'salad' Rose had created. Most of the lettuce she'd torn up was scattered on the table and the cherry tomatoes she had thrown in had landed in all parts of the kitchen. Lily had buttered bread and was working on the cheese as Harm watched.

"Finished, daddy!" Rose said, putting her arms up to indicate she wanted out, her task complete.  
"Yum!" he replied with a smile. "Good work, Rose."  
"Play blocks, Lily," she said, tugging at her sister.  
"No, I don't want to," she replied, shaking her head.  
"How about you both play in the sandpit? I'll be out there soon," he suggested and Lily nodded.

With the girls settled in the yard, Harm returned to the kitchen to rescue what he could of the salad and clean up. After preparing a few other vegetables for himself and Mac, he set about organising the table outside while keeping an eye on his girls. He knew Lily was coping well with the restrictions on her movement, but it wouldn't take long before she became frustrated by her inability to just stand up and move away from her sometimes pesky little sister.

There was nothing left to do except cook when Harm sat out on the porch, a bottle of water in hand, and he wanted to wait until Mac was up before he did that. As soon as Rose spied him she was immediately over to him.

"Swing, daddy!" she said, tugging his arm and dragging him to the tyre swing hanging from an old oak tree.  
"Sure, baby," he said, putting down his water.  
"Not baby, daddy's big girl," she corrected and Harm could only laugh, sure they'd be having this same discussion when she was thirty.

With numerous swings and spins for both his daughters, piggy back rides around the yard and some practice for Lily in managing her wheelchair, Harm turned back for his water and smiled to see Mac with a sleepy Harry in her arms appear at the door.  
"Hey, gorgeous," he said, climbing the steps to greet them. "Hi, son." He kissed them both.  
"So, this is where all the action is?" Mac asked as Harm took Harry from her and led her to the bench seat.  
"Yep, the girls and I have dinner all but ready and were just hanging out for you guys," he replied, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as Harry nestled into him.  
"What are we having?" she asked as Rose came running up to them.  
"Barkq u, mommy, a barkqu and I did the salad," she informed her mother as she climbed up onto her lap.  
"And a real barbeque," Lily added, wheeling herself over to the bottom of the step. "With real meat and everything."  
"Wow! Real meat," said Mac smiling. "Must be a special occasion," she added as she nudged her husband.  
"It is," answered Lily proudly. "It's your welcome home dinner."  
"Thank you," she whispered before kissing Harm's cheek.  
"Thank me too," urged Rose, tugging at her neck.  
"Thank you too, Rose," she said, kissing her daughter's head.

Dinner was a great success and Harm was thrilled that Mac ate all that was put before her, and then the left over hamburgers. He'd been worried about her weight loss recently and was glad she seemed to have found her appetite.  
"How about ice cream for dessert?" he asked when he had cleared the table.  
"With chocolate topping?" Lily asked, hopefully...she loved chocolate even more than she loved pancakes and real meat.  
Never one to be left out, Rose added her request. "Choc-late top!"  
"How about daddy's special choc fudge sundaes?" he asked and Lily and Mac both nodded eagerly.  
"But me want ice cream," Rose said tearfully, her lack of sleep catching up with her.  
"How about daddy's special choc fudge ice cream sundae for my big girl?" he asked, caressing her face and Rose nodded.  
"What about you, my little man?" he asked, crouching by his son's chair, aware he hadn't had much to eat at all.  
"Harry ...no dinner... no dessert," Rose reminded Harm of his own rule.  
"Well, daddy thinks Harry might be a little unwell and maybe some ice cream would make him feel better," Harm said, brushing his son's cheek with his fingertips.  
"It would make me feel better," Lily said grinning.  
"Okay then, back soon."

As Harm disappeared into the house, Mac chatted to her children, the girls doing most of the talking. As Rose rambled on about something neither Mac or Lily could understand, Mac let her youngest daughter's words wash over her as she thought about how much she missed being here with them. Not only the last two weeks but really feeling like she was here and a part of family life. She thought that maybe finally acknowledging to herself and to Harm that she wasn't all that well had given her some freedom to simply feel unwell and not feel guilty about it.  
"You okay, mom?" Lily asked, tugging at her arm.  
"Yes, sweetie," she said, with a quick shake of her head. "Just thinking."  
"Of what?" she asked as Mac wrapped an arm around her and drew her close.  
"Of how beautiful you are and how much I love you," she replied, kissing her daughter's head.  
"I love you too, mommy," she said, snuggling in close.

After the children had been fed, bathed, read to, sang to and tucked up into bed, Harm sat in the study waiting for Mac to return from the bathroom. She'd been gone nearly fifteen minutes and he was fighting the urge to go and check on her. Deciding he'd give her another five minutes before he moved, he sat and watched the hands move interminably slowly around the clock.  
"A watched pot never boils," she said, surprising him as she sat down beside him. "What are you waiting for?"  
"Huh?" he asked, focusing on her,  
"You're watching the clock. Are you waiting for something?" she asked, lifting up his arm and wrapping herself in it.  
"I was waiting for you," he replied, loving the fact she was seeking out his touch, something which hadn't happened much in recent times.  
"Well, I'm here now," she said, before sighing deeply and pressing closer into him.  
"Good, I'm glad," he said, kissing her head,

A few minutes of silence ensued before Mac dragged her finger up and down his chest.  
"When you went to pick up the twins today, I phoned Bethesda. Dr Mollison was able to fit me in tomorrow at 1030," she said quietly.  
"Good," he replied, kissing her head once more. "Hopefully she'll be able to do something for you."  
"Not sure I'm going to like what she has to say," Mac all but whispered, more to herself than Harm.  
"Why's that, honey?" he asked, drawing up her face.  
"Because I know what she's going to say and I know I'm not going to like it," she said, looking up at him tearfully.  
"And how do you know what she's going to say?" he asked, caressing her face.  
"Because ..." she said, before drawing a deep breath and Harm's concern grew dramatically. "On my third night in Florida I bled really heavily and ended up collapsing in the hotel foyer..."

"What?!" Harm exclaimed, pulling back. This was certainly news to him.  
"I collapsed and they took me to Naval Hospital and I saw the consultant OBGYN..." she continued to explain.  
"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come home?" he asked earnestly.  
"Because there was nothing you could do and I didn't think a bad period constituted the need for sick leave...especially after all the effort I'd put into the conference," she explained quietly and though Harm was furious with her for not telling him earlier, he wanted to hear it all now, so he kept his feelings in check.  
"What did the doctor say?" he asked, holding onto his wife.  
"That it was the endometriosis," she said, playing with a thread on his shirt. "Gave me some painkillers, and I was on an IV for fluids overnight and he started me on a course of medication therapy to see if it would ease."  
"Did it help?" he asked, watching as the tears trickled down her face,  
"Yeah, it did a bit," she said with a nod. "The bleeding anyway. I didn't take the painkillers so the pain remained pretty bad."  
"And why didn't you take the painkillers?" he asked, before realising he already knew the answer – they were addictive.  
"You know I can't," she answered, struggling to stand and move away from him.  
"What else did the Florida doctor say?" he asked, letting her go and giving her the space she needed.  
"That as I was 45, have had my children and my condition was deteriorating that I should consider a hysterectomy and get it all over with," she said quickly, still not believing the doctor had been so blunt in his treatment options.  
"And what do you think of that?" Harm asked gently, bracing himself for what may not be the friendliest response.  
"I don't want a hysterectomy!" she all but yelled. "Yes, I'm old and I'm done having kids but a hysterectomy! It will send me into early menopause and everything else and I don't want it...I don't want it..." she cried and Harm quickly wrapped her in his arms, whispering soothing words to her as he rubbed her back.  
"Okay, okay," he said gently. "Let's wait until tomorrow and see if Dr Mollison suggests another way. Okay?"

Mac nodded, her words muffled by his shirt.

"What was that?" he asked, pulling back slightly.  
"Okay, we'll wait," she repeated. "But I'm not having a hysterectomy!" she said defiantly.

Harm just smiled sympathetically and held her close once more. He wasn't about to argue and cause her any more distress. While he would wait with Mac to hear a prognosis from the doctor, he'd done his share of research on the topic and knew that a hysterectomy was the last resort treatment in severe and unmanageable cases and if that was the stage Mac was at, then it was a legitimate treatment option.

With the topic effectively closed for the night, Harm led Mac to the bedroom.  
"I feel like I've been in bed all day," Mac said as she closed the door behind her.  
"We don't have to sleep," said Harm, pulling back the covers.  
"Not as if we can do anything else," she said sadly. It had been nearly two months since they had actually made love, and last time it had hurt like hell.  
"Yes, we can," he replied, standing in front of her with his hands on her hips.  
"What?" she asked, tearfully.  
"Well, I can hold you," he said and Mac smiled. "And we can talk," he continued and Mac nodded. "And I can tell you the joke Lily told me last week..." Mac chuckled. "That's the smile I wanted to see," he whispered before kissing her briefly.

Deep in the darkness of their room, after hours of chatting and making arrangements for the following day and for Lily, and the twins, and discussing a range of everyday topics. Mac yawned wearily.  
Pulling her closer, Harm kissed her head and finally allowed his eyes to close.  
"Will you love me even if I have it?" she asked wearily.  
Harm's eyes opened once more – he knew her question was an acceptance that a hysterectomy was a strong possibility despite her earlier opposition.  
"There is nothing, nothing, that can be done to you or by you that will ever stop me loving you, Sarah MacKenzie Rabb. Do you understand me?" he said gruffly.  
"I understand," she replied, sleepily. "Tell me again," she requested as she drifted off.  
"Nothing's ever going to make me stop loving you, Mac," he whispered, kissing her head. "Nothing. I'm going to love you more and more every day, til death do us part, forever and ever, honey."  
"Again," she whispered.  
"I love you so much, Mac, and I always will...not this situation nor will any other ever change the way I feel about you. You are the absolute love of my life," he proclaimed kissing her head once more.

And as Mac slept, Harm gave into overwhelming feelings of love and adoration and fear and hurt and heartache he'd been fighting and the tears tumbled drenching his pillow.

xoxoxo


	5. Chapter 5

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

------------change--------------

It was a hectic morning in the Rabb household with children to get ready and appointments to be attended. Harry still wasn't himself and so after some debate, Mac called Harriet to see if she could take him for the morning while they attended Bethesda. Harm had suggested taking him with them and getting him checked out at the same time but Mac thought it would be best to leave him with Harriet for the morning and have Harm take him to their family doctor in the afternoon. Harriet offered to have Rose as well, meaning one less drop off before the hospital and Mac agreed; the easier the morning the better she'd be.

With the twins content with Harriet, Mac sat nervously waiting her appointment.  
"Mommy, why do you have to see the doctor?" Lily asked from her wheelchair.  
"Because of my sore back," Mac answered as Harm squeezed her hand.  
"I'm sorry I hurt it yesterday," she replied tearfully and Mac hugged her.  
"It wasn't you, pumpkin," she said, kissing her head. "Mommy's just having some problems in her tummy."  
"So, if it's your tummy, why does your back hurt?" she asked, looking from her mother to her father, this was making no sense to her.  
"Because ..." Mac began before pausing to consider her response. "Well, you know how boys and girls are different?" she began quietly.  
"Aha," Lily nodded.  
"And that when girls get older their bodies change," she continued.  
"Yeah and they get hair in private places and boobies," Lily said, nodding again.  
"That's right," Mac said with a small smile, glad she'd been open and honest with her daughter from the start.  
"And they get to use those tampon things you see on TV and inside their tummy they keep babies...just like you did with the twins," she rambled and Mac nodded.  
"That's right," she said. "Well, the babies aren't actually in the tummy they're in a special place called the uterus ...."  
"How do they get in?" she asked wide eyed.  
"Well, that's something we can discuss at home later," she said, not wanting a birds and bees discussion in a hospital waiting room.  
"Okay," she agreed.  
"Well, my uterus isn't doing too well at the moment and it's giving mommy lots of pain and I can feel that pain in my back," she explained.  
"Did the twins break it?" Lily asked concerned. "'Cause you know they break everything."  
"No, the twins didn't break it," Mac said with a chuckle. "I have a condition called endometriosis and that's what makes it sick."  
Lily nodded thoughtfully for a moment before looking at her mom seriously.  
"Will my uterest get sick too?" she asked.

Harm knew the moment Mac realised that the child in front of her, who was the image of her, could have indeed inherited the condition. Bewildered, she looked to Harm for the answer, one he could not truthfully give.  
Instead, he wrapped an arm around Mac and kissed her head before looking at his daughter.  
"Lily, sweetheart, I'm sure your uterus will be just fine. I think right now though we should concentrate on getting your ankles better. What do you say?" he asked, squeezing Mac gently.  
"I think that's a good idea, dad," she replied, before wheeling away. "How long more do we have to wait?"

With Mac's 1030 appointment running late, she'd just gone in for tests when Harm was due to take Lily downstairs for her appointment and x-rays. With a delay in radiology, Harm was sure Mac would be finished by the time he returned and he was kicking himself for not being there to hear the doctor for himself.

Rushing down the corridor to the OBGYN reception desk, Lily thought the speed was lots of fun, until her father stopped suddenly and she nearly fell out.  
"Sarah MacKenzie Rabb?" he said breathlessly to the clerk, grabbing hold of his daughter. "Is she still having tests or is she in with Dr Mollison?"  
"Ah," the clerk began, scanning her screen. "She went in about five minutes ago. They're expecting you."  
"Can I go in too?" asked Lily hopefully.  
"No, pumpkin," Harm said taking her hand. "This is something for adults only."  
"I can look after her here, sir," the clerk offered. "We've colouring pages and puzzles here for just this occasion," she added with a reassuring smile.  
Lily was more than happy to sit at the reception desk colouring away as her father disappeared into the consulting room.

Knocking on the door, Harm drew a deep breath before entering.  
"Hey, I'm back," he said, taking his wife's hand. "Sorry for being late, doctor."  
"That's okay, Harm," she said. "Sarah was telling me about Lily's broken ankles. You certainly have your hands full."  
"Yes, ma'am," he replied. "But nothing we can't handle.  
"Okay," she said, giving Mac a reassuring smile. "How about we take this from the top?" Mac nodded.

Over the next ten minutes, Dr Mollison gave a breakdown as to the tests Mac had had, how they compared to the previous ones, the impact of her current heavy and seemingly endless period and the quality of life, in general, Mac was experiencing and would continue to experience if they couldn't manage the situation.

All the while, Mac held Harm's hand tightly but never once looked at him; not wanting to see the pain she knew she'd find on his face.  
"Doesn't sound good," Harm finally said as the doctor closed the file.  
"It's not too good, Harm," the doctor agreed.  
"So, what do we do now?" he asked, looking at Mac, hoping she'd actually speak.  
"Well, Sarah is not wanting a hysterectomy unless there is no other course of action," the doctor reported, "And I can understand that."  
"So what other course of action is there?" he asked, as he moved one of his arms to wrap around Mac.  
"Surgery is indicated. We'll see if we can't get in there and remove some of the lesions and cysts that seem to be causing most of the current problems," Dr Mollison said folding her hands and leaning on the desk. "After that we'll reassess the situation."  
"How soon?" Harm asked, wanting Mac to be as pain free as possible as soon as possible.  
"As Sarah's condition is acute, I think Monday would be the best time to do it," she said, scanning down her diary for the following week.  
"Monday?" Mac finally spoke. "As in four days away?"  
"Yes," the doctor confirmed. "You've been bleeding very heavily for fourteen days now, the impact of that alone on your body is huge, and that doesn't include the associated symptoms of pain, fatigue, depression. I do think it is in your best interest."  
"Okay," she said quietly. Surgery to remove some of the problem was a better option than a hysterectomy.

As the doctor lifted the phone to start proceedings, Harm pulled Mac to him. "How are you doing?"  
"Okay," she said as it was the only word she could think of.

As the doctor was concluding the call, Mac looked up at Harm and tugged on his arm.  
"Can you ask her?" she asked in all but whispered.  
"Ask her what?" he whispered in return.  
"Lily!" she mouthed.

"Ask me what?" Dr Mollison said, having caught part of the conversation.  
"Ah, we were wondering..." he started, tilting his head towards Mac. "What are the chances that Lily and Rose will suffer from endometriosis too?" The very question brought Mac to tears.  
"Well," the doctor started, before rounding her desk, propping on the edge and taking Mac's hand. "The research is varied and there is no definitive proof that endometriosis is genetic, though there seems to be an increased chance if you have a close female relative with the condition. Your girls are very young and there is no way to know for certain," she said, patting Mac's hand. "But my advice is to talk about this with them as soon as you think they're old enough – make sure they know what is and isn't normal. Many women go undiagnosed for years simply because they don't know what they are experiencing isn't normal."  
"Are there any tests?" Harm asked, not sure if this conversation was helping or hurting Mac.  
"When they're in their teens and if they are experiencing anything untoward then an ultrasound may be the go," she replied. "But the thing you have to remember is that whatever your kids are going to inherit from you – from eye colour, to personality, to this, are already in their makeup and worrying about it isn't going to change a thing. So, what you need to do is not worry about them unless there is something real to worry about and concentrate on getting yourself well, okay?"  
"Okay," Mac said. "Okay."

Little was said after they left Dr Mollison's room and picked up Lily from reception. Driving back to the Roberts, Lily chatted with her father but Mac said nothing. When they arrived, Harm moved to the back of the car to extract his daughter but Mac failed to move from her seat. Settling Lily on his hip, he opened the front door and leant across to unbuckle her seatbelt.  
"Sorry, I can't carry you too, honey," he whispered, kissing her head. "Come on out."

While Mac preferred to stay in the car with Lily and just have Harm bring the twins out, he was insisting that they all go in. Harm had already formulated the afternoon plan; he was going to leave Mac and Lily with Harriet and take Harry to the doctor. Mac had said she'd rather go home but Harm wasn't sure how long he'd be and didn't want Mac to have to carry Lily for the bathroom or lift Rose for anything. Leaving them at Harriet's would ensure she didn't have too.

It was nearly four before Harm and Harry returned to the Roberts with the news that their boy had a simple bug and would be back to himself before long. This was a huge relief to Harm who was already wondering how he was going to deal with his wife and her recovery, Lily and her recovery, runabout Rosie and a sick little boy.

Having given in to Harriet's insistence they stay for an early dinner, Rose played happily on the swing set while Lily sat on the grass as Nikki and Michael took turns in her wheelchair. Harm picked up Harry and took the opportunity to fix the lawnmower that Bud hadn't got around too with Jimmy while Mac sat quietly in the kitchen as Harriet bustled around.

A few times, Harriet tried to engage her in conversation but the exchanges never lasted long. Finally, Harriet sat down beside her and took her hand.  
"Whatever you need, Mac, whatever I can do, you will let me know, won't you?' Harriet asked quietly.  
"I will, thanks," she answered tearfully.

Harriet was going to say something else when AJ arrived home after football training with a black eye and bloodied nose.  
"What on earth happened to you?" Harriet said, jumping to her feet.  
"Mom, I'm fine," he protested, trying to swipe her hand away. "Just a training mishap."  
"Who did it?" she questioned. "I'll phone his mother."  
"Mom, I'm nearly seventeen, I can fight my own battles," he said. "Hey Auntie Mac, how are you?"  
"Better than you, I think, AJ," she said with a genuine smile. She still found it hard to believe her precious baby godson, the one she saw coming into the world would be seventeen in a couple of months.

Dinner was a noisy affair with seven children and four adults. Everyone ate heartily, with the exceptions of Mac and Harry, who spent most of the evening straddling his mother's lap and resting against her.

A few times AJ tried to coax him to eat and was quite concerned he couldn't even raise a smile from the boy. Usually, Harry idolised AJ and would clamber all over him as soon as he saw him – tonight, no one else mattered expect his mommy.  
"Thanks for trying, honey," Mac said to AJ as he turned his attention back to his dinner. "He's just not well."  
"You guys aren't having a good run," he said, nodding towards Lily.

Mac just smiled – the boy didn't know the half of it.

By the end of the day, Mac was exhausted, more from the rounds of questions playing through her mind than any physical activity. She tried to put it aside for the sake of Harm and the kids and thought she'd succeeded until she tucked Lily into bed and kissed her goodnight.  
"Mommy," she said quietly as Mac headed to the door.  
"Yes, pumpkin?" she said, turning back.  
"Is it your uterest making you sad?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbows.  
"What makes you ask that, Lily?" she questioned, moving to sit next to her daughter.  
"Well, I can tell you're sad and stuff, and I know I'm sad my ankles are broke so I figured that maybe it's your uterest making you sad," she said, moving into her mother's arms as Mac lay down with her.  
"You're very intuitive, young girl," Mac said trying to get a hold of her emotions. "You're right. I am sad about my uterus."  
"Can the doctor fix it?" Lily asked, curling into her mother. "You know with casts or bandages?"  
"No, not with casts or bandages," she answered. "Mommy is going to have to have a little operation on Monday to try and fix it."  
"Will you be in hospital long?" Lily asked tearfully.  
"Not long at all, overnight at the most," Mac said, kissing her head.  
"And then will your uterest be better?" she asked optimistically.  
"I hope so, Lily, I hope so."

xoxoxo


	6. Chapter 6

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

------------change--------------

Monday dawned and Bud was at the house just after seven to swap cars and take the twins into day care, it was far easier than moving all the restraints and car seats. Although initially hesitant to put Bud out like that, Harm had conceded that as he needed to take Lily back to school and make sure she was okay in her wheelchair, and then take Mac to the hospital, perhaps a little help from the children's godfather was a good thing.

Mac was up and dressed early, wanting to go with Lily as well but when she burst into tears saying goodbye to the twins, she figured it may not be in Lily's best interest. Instead, she settled for hugging and kissing her as she sat in the back seat of the SVU.  
"Have a great day, pumpkin," Mac said with teary enthusiasm.  
"I will, mom," she said hugging her mom. "Will you be okay at the hospital?"  
"I'll be fine, I'll have daddy to look after me," she said, reassuring the girl. "And you'll have Mrs Thompson looking after you."  
"You'll both be fine but we'll all be late if we don't get going," Harm said, allowing his wife and daughter one more embrace before he shut the door.  
Mac padded over to the doorstep and turned to find Harm right behind her.  
"This'll take about thirty minutes," he said, wrapping his arms around her. "Then I'll be back, okay?"  
Mac nodded.  
"If you need anything, you call me, okay?" he checked, resting his forehead on hers.  
"It's only thirty minutes, Harm. I'm sure I'll survive," she said with a smile. "I am a marine."  
"Yes, I know," he replied. "But even Marines need the Navy's help at times."  
Mac just shook her head and kissed him.

It was nearly an hour before Harm returned and Mac had spent the time cleaning furiously in order to distract herself.  
"I thought you were going to take it easy," he stated as he watched her scrubbing the kitchen benches.  
"And I thought you'd only be thirty minutes," she replied, dropping the scourer and turning to him. "How'd Lily go?"  
"Good," he said with a nod. "A little hesitant about what the other kids would say but Nikki and Michael came in and said they'd keep an eye on her for us, so that made her happy."

Mac smiled; she had been reluctant to send Lily to the same private school as the Roberts children attended because she wasn't sure of the advantages of a school which catered for children from pre-school to high school. However, Harm had convinced her with the simple reminder that they'd both attended many schools themselves and that wasn't advantageous either.  
"Did you give the school the hospital number in case they need us today?" she asked, wiping her hands on the dish cloth. "Need you," she amended.  
"Yeah, everything's set," he said, gathering her in an embrace. "Now, let's get going."

Calm and composed on the trip in, Mac's nerves began to show as she lay on the gurney in a hospital gown waiting to go into surgery. Dr Mollison had already been out to speak to them and go over the details of the surgery once more and Mac had asked the question playing on her mind. "What if the damage was too severe - would they do a hysterectomy there and then?"

Once again, Dr Mollison had explained the complications, which did include the possibility of a full or partial hysterectomy, and Mac had nodded. Deep in her being, she knew it would be the outcome and she felt that perhaps it was better if they just did it without her truly knowing it was going to happen.  
"Just do what you have to," were her last words to the good doctor.

"You're going to be okay," Harm reassured her, kissing her head as they waited.  
"I know," she replied, looking up at him.  
"Then how about you release your death grip," he said, gesturing to the sheet twisted in her white knuckled hand.  
"Oh, yeah," she said, releasing it. "Maybe I'm just a little anxious."  
"Just a little?" he asked, leaning down to kiss her forehead.  
"Yeah, I'm trying not to worry about what they'll do until they've done it," she said before drawing in a deep breath – it was much easier said than done.  
"Can I just let you know that I love you very much, Mac? Whatever they do or don't do, I will continue to love you and I'll be here when you wake up, ready to face whatever lies ahead, okay?" he said, his eyes filling with tears mirroring her response.  
"Love you too," she replied, reaching up to kiss him. The opportunity to say anything else was gone as they took her in for surgery.

The laparoscopic procedure took longer than anticipated and with every tick of the clock Harm was left to wonder whether things were much worse than already expected. Just as he was about to go and ask for information, Dr Mollison appeared in the OR waiting room still dressed in surgical scrubs.  
"Is she okay?" Harm asked, instantly on his feet.  
"Yes, Harm, Sarah's doing quite well," Dr Mollison reassured him, leading him back to the green plastic chairs and sitting beside him.  
"Is it bad?" he asked, trying to read the doctor's expression.  
"It isn't good news, I'm afraid," she said quietly.  
"Did you do a hysterectomy?" he asked and held his breath.  
"No, not today," she began.  
"But you'll have to?" he interrupted.  
"Yes, I think we will," the doctor acknowledged.

In simple, easy terms, Dr Mollison explained that the endometriosis was more severe than anticipated, that it was now attaching to Mac's bowel which would explain the bloating, lack of appetite and weight loss, the condition of her uterus and ovaries and just the general mess her abdominal cavity seemed to be.  
"So, why didn't you just remove everything?" he asked, willing his pain for his wife to settle.  
"Because it's not that simple, Harm," the doctor replied gently. "I know Mac is very hesitant about a hysterectomy..."  
"She knows it's a strong possibility," he interjected.  
"Yes, I know," she agreed. "But a hysterectomy, especially a total one, is not like removing your tonsils or appendix or even your spleen."  
"We know it will put her into early menopause," he said, clasping his hands. "And we can deal with it."  
"Harm, you are amazingly supportive and it is very clear you love your wife but this is something she needs to come to terms with and deal with," she explained.  
"But I can help..." he interrupted.  
"Yes, you can," she agreed. "And the best way is to listen to Mac's concerns not just try to fix everything.  
"That's not what I'm doing," Harm scoffed. "I just want her to be herself."  
"Then listen to what she's saying...or sometimes not saying," Dr Mollison said taking his hand. "Women who have had hysterectomies and therefore surgically induced menopause because of endometriosis often say that the cure is worse than the symptoms. The mood swings, the imbalance of hormone levels, all of it. They can also lose their identity as a woman, quite similar to women who have mastectomies due to breast cancer. They feel stripped of their womanhood, that they are no longer desirable ..."  
"But they are, she is," Harm replied tearfully. He'd been so busy trying to fix the mechanics of the disease he hadn't thought of the woman. "Mac's an amazing woman; she's beautiful inside and out..."  
"That's just it, Harm, Sarah may not feel very beautiful...especially on the inside," she said, patting his hand.  
"So, what now?" he asked, wondering where all this left them.  
"Well, between the surgery, medication and natural therapies I'll recommend, Sarah can go home tomorrow with a follow up outpatients appointment in ten days to remove the stitches. We'll continue to monitor her condition and review things in a month. If she's stopped bleeding and the other symptoms are manageable then we'll continue to monitor her."  
"And if they're not?" Harm asked quietly.  
"Then we schedule the hysterectomy and give Sarah all the support, counselling and information she needs to keep the trauma of the surgery to a minimum, okay?" she checked as she stood up.  
"Yeah, okay," he agreed, standing up too. "Thank you, Dr Mollison, I do appreciate your time and I know my wife's in good hands."

Dr Mollison smiled and headed back into the OR. "You can see her in a few minutes," she called back over her shoulder. Harm just nodded before slumping into the chair and holding his head in his hands. What he wouldn't do to be able to do for his wife what he'd done for his children many times; just kiss it and make it all better.

By the time Mac fully awoke she was in a private room and Harm was asleep in the armchair beside her, his fingers still entwined with hers. Her first thought was that he looked tired and perhaps she should let him sleep, then she thought that he looked rather uncomfortable in the chair so obviously designed for someone much shorter. Before her hazy brain could come up with a third thought, Harm stirred and Mac gently squeezed his hand.

"Hey, handsome," she whispered. "You doing okay?"  
"Yeah," he said with a yawn and stretch before realising Mac was actually awake. "More importantly, gorgeous, how are you?" He stood and leant over her, brushing her hair away from her face.  
"I'm okay...a little sore...a little hazy... but okay, all things considered," she said, nodding her head as she convinced herself.  
"Glad to hear it," he said, kissing her briefly before his eyes searched hers to see if they reflected her words.  
"What did...Was it what...How did..." No matter how Mac started it, she still couldn't bring herself to ask the question.  
"What did they do?" Harm asked for her and she nodded. "Well, Dr Mollison can give you all the technical details – but I can tell you they didn't do a hysterectomy." He squeezed her hand as she sighed loudly in relief.  
"Does that mean they don't have to?" she asked, scanning his face for additional information.  
"It means they don't have to at the moment," he began but seeing her face crumble quickly added, "and they may never have to."  
"But I still might need one?" she asked, crossing the fingers of her hand still hidden under the blanket.  
"Yeah, honey, you may..." he agreed, not offering her his standard reassurance that it would be alright. This time he wanted to really listen to what she was saying and not try just to fix it.  
"I guess I'll deal with it if it happens," she said, nodding once more.  
"Yes, you will," he said, not using his usual 'we'.  
"But you'll be there regardless, won't you?" she asked with a quiet desperation.  
Harm nodded and kissed her head. "Always and forever, Mac."  
"Good," she said shifting in the bed and closing her eyes. "I can do anything if you're with me."

In due course, Harm arrived at his own home right on dinner time to find his three young children happily eating at the dinner table and Harriet dishing up his own meal.  
"Harriet, this wasn't necessary, but I do appreciate it," he said, kissing the heads of his children before moving to Harriet.  
"It's no trouble, Harm," she replied, patting his arm. "Bud picked the twins up, I got Lily and dinner was a breeze. They're really no trouble."  
"Thank you, you're amazing," he said, briefly kissing her head.  
"Where's mommy?" Lily asked, putting down her fork.  
"Mommy?" called Harry searching the empty doorway.  
"Mommy's not here," Harm said, moving to the table.  
"But want mommy," Rose said with a quivering bottom lip.  
"I know, darling," he said, tousling her hair. "But mommy had to stay at the hospital tonight...but she'll be home tomorrow."  
"Can we go see her?" asked Lily, her dinner abandoned.  
"No, pumpkin, but she did tell me to tell you she loves you all very much and to give you each a big kiss," he explained, moving from one to the other and kissing them once more.  
"Did they fix her uterest or did they have to pull it out?" Lily asked tearfully.  
"Well, they fixed it as best they could and now we just have to wait and see," he said, hugging her.  
"Is she still sad?" she asked looking up at her dad with pleading eyes.  
"Mommy's feeling much better tonight," he said, kissing her head once more.  
"Mommy, mommy!" Harry chanted banging his cutlery on the table, Rose soon joined in.  
"Hey, hey," Harm said moving to settle them both down simultaneously. "Shh!"  
"Mommy!" Rose continued but Harm placed his hand across hers stifling her attempts to bang.  
"Enough," he said sternly and quickly she obeyed. "Eat your dinner."

After dinner was finished and the kitchen cleaned, Harriet headed home while Harm bathed the children and settled them into bed. When peace reigned once more, Harm found himself in the living room feeling quite alone. He tried to call Mac a couple of times, needing to hear her voice, but there was no answer. Realising she needed as much rest as possible, he didn't try a third time.

For a while he tried to read but nothing was sinking in. Then he tried to clean the house, but Harriet, bless her, had left nothing for him to do. He tried the computer, the newspaper and finally the TV but nothing worked.

Giving up, he was about to head to bed when there was a knock on the front door. Peering through the peep hole he was surprised to see Bud and AJ standing there.  
"What's up?" he asked, opening the door and ushering them in. "Did Harriet leave something behind?" he asked as he scanned the living room.  
"No, nothing like that, Uncle Harm," AJ said, closing the door behind them.  
"Then...?" Harm looked from one to the other.  
"Thought you may like to go and see Mac again tonight," Bud said with a knowing smile. "You're the husband so they'll let you in any time."  
"And I came in case the kids were still up and dad needed help in wrangling them," AJ said with a chuckle.

While not wanting to put the Roberts out once again, Harm knew the opportunity was too good to waste. Chances are he'd only be gone a couple of hours and he knew the kids would sleep. Gratefully he accepted and was backing his car out before anyone changed their mind.

xoxoxo


	7. Chapter 7

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

------------change--------------

For the most part, Mac slept through the late visit. She stirred for a while, long enough to realise Harm was there, holding her, kissing her, but didn't wake enough to be able to ask him why he was still there – or there again, she wasn't sure which.

Despite the lack of conversation, the visit did much to lift Harm's spirits and he returned home more than thankful for the chance to see his wife.

Finally asleep by midnight, Harm was first awakened by Lily's bell necessitated by the need for a bathroom trip. Drifting off again, it was his son's cries which disturbed his sleep, and by virtue of their proximity, his twin's.

Swiftly able to settle Rose who was experiencing nothing more than sympathetic tears, Harm carried Harry back to his bed to ensure Rose wasn't disturbed again. Leaning back on a stack of pillows, Harm cradled the sobbing child in his arms and sang softly to him. As his tears subsided and sleep was overwhelming the toddler, he nestled further into his father's chest, his hand disappearing under Harm's tee and settling on his nipple.

"Sorry, buddy," Harm whispered, kissing his head. "I'm not mommy, there's nothing there for you."

Content with just the close contact, Harry finally drifted off and Harm settled him down on Mac's side, putting her pillow in his chubby grasp before tossing aside some other pillows and curling up with him.

Harm could only smile as the boy muttered 'mommy' before sleep claimed him fully. He wasn't sure if Mac really knew how much the Rabb men truly loved her.

Exhausted by the day's events, Harm's eyes fluttered closed as he drew several long, deep breaths. Finally on the verge of slumber, he could have screamed when his cell vibrated on the bedside table. Cursing whomever had dared to message his at this obscene hour of the night, Harm picked up the cell and smiled at the screen:

1 Message from Mac

Accessing the message, Harm's eyes filled as he read his wife's words:

_Honey, I love you and miss you. Thank you for everything – not just today but everything. I didn't want to call and wake you but I needed you to know I love you unconditionally. Mac xox_

Quickly dialling her cell, Harm held his breath waiting for her to answer.

"Hello?" she said tiredly.

"I need you to know that I love you unconditionally too," he whispered, not wanting to wake his son.

"Oh, Harm," Mac replied and he could hear the emotions in those two words.

"How are you doing?" he questioned, gazing at their wedding photo as he spoke to her.

"Okay, I think," she replied. "I dreamt you were here."

"I was there," he confirmed.

"Yeah, earlier today...but this was tonight," she said, fatigue coating her words.

"I was there," he repeated. "Bud and AJ called over to stay with the kids so I could come in."

"Why didn't you wake me?" she asked, tears filling her eyes.

"Because you needed to sleep," he replied. "But, I did hold you and kiss you and tell you I love you."

"That's what I dreamt," she said, smiling.

"It was real," he said, grinning that she'd felt his presence.

"Dream come true," she said with a yawn. "You make all my dreams come true, sailor."

"And you make mine come true, marine," he replied, fighting his tears. "You're so tired," he added when he heard her yawn again.

"Yeah, but I want to hear your voice," she said wearily.

"How about I sing you to sleep?" he said and Mac mumbled her agreement.

In the darkness of the room, Harm made himself comfortable before crooning Mac's favourite lullaby...the one she made him sing to each of their children when they were newborns...

Hush, little baby, don't say a word.  
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird

And if that mockingbird won't sing,  
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring

And if that diamond ring turns brass,  
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass

And if that looking glass gets broke,  
Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat

And if that billy goat won't pull,  
Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull

And if that cart and bull turn over,  
Papa's gonna buy you a dog named Rover

And if that dog named Rover won't bark  
Papa's gonna buy you a horse and cart

And if that horse and cart fall down,  
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.

While he could hear Mac's soft snore from the billy goat, he continued to sing. More for himself now than her...just knowing she was sleeping peacefully brought a sense of contentment to him he hadn't felt in a long time.

The following day, Harm and Mac arrived home a little before lunch and Harm settled her on the sofa in the living room before heading to the kitchen to fix them something to eat.

"You're supposed to be resting," he said when he spied her in the doorway.

"I was thirsty," she replied, grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

"I could have got it for you, Mac. You only had to ask," he said, pulling the water jug from the fridge.

"You know I'm not an invalid," she said, holding her glass out for him to fill.

"Yeah, I know," he agreed, mindful of the fact that despite his desire to take complete care of her that Mac needed time and space and independence.

"So, what's for lunch?" she asked, sitting at the table.

"I was thinking salad sandwiches. Is that alright with you?" he asked and smiled when she nodded. "You want to slice the tomato?"Mac went to stand up but Harm carried the items to the table. "You can do it from there...if you want..." he added.

"Great," Mac said smiling, a little surprised Harm hadn't whisked her out of the kitchen and tucked her back up on the sofa.

After lunch, they headed to the sofa, both tired from the happenings of the previous day and night. With her favourite DVD playing, Mac pulled the throw rug over herself and snuggled into Harm, grinning at the thought that he was the best pillow a girl could have.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked, studying her intently.

"You...you're better than any Tontine product, you know," she said, manoeuvring herself into a position which didn't cause her stitches to pull.

"Well, I'd like to think so," he said, kissing her head as his arm held her securely against him.

The opening credits were still playing when Harm looked down to find Mac drifting off.

"How about we forget the DVD and you go lay down for a while?" he asked, running his fingers through her hair.

"Mmmm maybe," she mumbled, more than happy with the place she was in. "What time do you have to get Lily?"

"Three," he replied, usually it was later on a Tuesday with dance taking place right after school, however with two broken ankles and desperate to see her mom, Lily had pleaded with her dad to pick her up at home time.

For several moments Mac looked up at him, wondering whether she could ask, should ask...

"You want to know if I can go get her now?" he asked, reading her mind.

Mac nodded. "I know it's only 1325 but..." her voice trailed.

Harm kissed her head. It seemed mommy was just as desperate to see daughter as daughter was to see mommy.

"If I get go get her, will you both have a nap when we get back?" he asked, knowing his daughter hadn't really slept much last night either, her dark eyes at breakfast a giveaway.

Mac nodded eagerly. A nap curled up with her precious daughter was better than any medicine.

"What about the twins?" he asked, sliding out from behind her. "Want me to get them too?"

Slowly Mac shook her head. It wasn't that she didn't love them, she did, deeply. It was just that on full throttle the twins weren't conducive to rest and while she would make it up to them when they came home later, right now she had a longing for some precious one on one time with Lily.

"Does that make me a bad mother?" she asked quietly as Harm picked up his keys.

"No, gorgeous," he said, padding back and kissing her head. "I think it makes you a very good mommy." He kissed her again. "The twins are pretty resilient but I think Lily is a little fragile at the moment and an afternoon with mommy will do her the world of good."

"Thank you," she whispered, pulling him closer and brushing her lips across his. "Mommy appreciates it."

Harm grinned; less than 24 hours after her surgery she was already more like her old self. As he drove to the school he could only hope things would get better from here on in.

Looking up from her desk, Lily was more than surprised and concerned to see her father standing at the door talking to Mrs Thompson. The usual practice was for the parent to attend the office and complete the early leaver's pass and the child was then called to the office. However, with Lily in her current predicament, Harm had been given permission to fetch her from her room.

She watched silently as her father and teacher spoke in hushed tones and seemed to exchange paperwork. Finally, he looked over at her and smiled widely and Lily grinned. A smiling daddy meant nothing was wrong with mommy.

Threading his way through the desks, Harm crouched down beside her and kissed her cheek.

"Is mommy okay?" she asked quietly, needing to check despite his smile.

"Mommy is good," he replied, packing up the pencils on her desk. "She's at home and she wanted to know if you wouldn't mind coming home early so she can take a nap with you."

Lily nodded enthusiastically. "Sure, dad," she said, unhooking the brakes on her wheelchair.

"But the trade off is that later this afternoon you have to do the work from Mrs Thompson that you're missing out on," he said, weaving the wheelchair back through the tables.

"No problem," she said eagerly. School work was easy, especially when you had mommy to help.

As Harm carried Lily through the front door, he wasn't sure who had the biggest smile; his daughter or wife. In the end it didn't matter, they now had each other and that's all that mattered.

"Now, nap time," he said, still holding the child as Mac hugged her.

After a bathroom trip for both of his girls, Harm ensured they were comfortably tucked up in bed, Mac placing a pillow in front of her, lest Lily hit out in her sleep. Harm just smiled; their daughter was so tightly snuggled into her mother, she couldn't have moved if her life depended on it.

After kissing them both and leaving Lily's bell beside them just in case they needed anything, Harm left to see what he could organise for dinner.

"Mommy," Lily said quietly. "Are you still sad?"

"Not so much," Mac replied, honestly. "I'm a little sore with the stitches and all, but I'm not too sad at the moment."

"Does that mean your uterest is better?" she asked, looking up at her mom.

"My ut-er-us," Mac said slow, enunciating the word for her daughter, "is doing okay at the moment. Now we just have to wait to see if it stays okay."

"And if it doesn't will they still have to pull it out?" she asked, clasping her mother's top in her hand.

"Yeah, they will," Mac admitted, knowing what the odds were.

"If my ankles stay broke, will they have to pull them out?" she asked tearfully.

"No, pumpkin," she answered quickly, kissing her nose. "Ankles are very different to uteruses. Your ankles will be as good as new when the casts come off and though you may have to be a bit careful for a while, they'll be all fixed up."

"So, why can't they do that to you?" she asked, her eyes heavy. "Why can't you be fixed?"

Mac could only smile at the irony – when animals were spayed, you said they were 'fixed' and she surmised that her being 'fixed' actually equated to the same thing.

"Mommy will be just fine," she whispered reassuringly kissing her daughter's head. "Whatever happens, mommy will be fine." She took a deep breath at her own realisation – whatever happened, whatever was taken from her physically, she would be okay so long as she had the love and support of her amazing husband and children.

As silence descended on the room Harm backed away from the door having overheard the last part of the conversation. Tearfully he smiled to himself, Mac was right; their daughter was the best medicine for her.

xoxoxo


	8. Chapter 8

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

------------change--------------

Back to full health, Harry was a whirlwind of energy as he resisted Harm buckling him into his car seat. Rose, who had seemed to pick up her brother's bug, had been a little more subdued.

"Harry, please sit still," Harm said firmly, after the third attempt to insert the buckle failed. His words made no difference so he decided on a different tack. "Well, if you don't let daddy buckle you up we can't go home. Mommy's at home."

"Mommy!!! Yay!!!" squealed Harry and quickly settled down.

"Do you want to see mommy too?" he asked Rose, placing his palm on her forehead before kissing her. Rose nodded tearfully. "Okay, baby girl, let's get you home."

Mac was pottering around the kitchen when Harm arrived home with the twins in tow.

"Hey there," Mac said dropping to her knees to reduce the demand of her twins to be picked up. "Mommy missed you."

"Missed mommy," Harry said, wrapping his arms around her neck and squeezing as tight as he could. "Up!" he added, wanting to be held by his mother.

"Mommy can't do 'up' for a while, Harry, sorry," she said, kissing his hand as she extracted it. "Mommy has some boo-boos on her tummy."

"Me see," he demanded tugging on her top.

Carefully, Mac pulled up her top and revealed the three transparent waterproof dressings which covered the various stitched incisions. "See," she said, holding him at arm's length lest he try to investigate.

"Owies," said Rose moving over to take a look.

"Yes, big owies," Mac agreed.

"Kiss better," Harry offered running into her and kissing her stomach before she could react. The grimace on her face told Harm of her pain and he instantly grabbed the child.

"Thank you, Harry," Mac said gently between gritted teeth.

"Now up," he demanded wriggling in his father's arms, his mother's problems seemingly fixed.

"Not now, Harry," Harm said firmly, setting him on his hip and increasing his grip.

Looking over to her daughter, Mac couldn't help but notice she wasn't herself.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked opening her arms and drawing her daughter to her. Rose said nothing but rested her head on Mac's shoulder.

"I think Rose has Harry's bug," Harm said, still holding onto the squirming boy.

"Oh dear," Mac said, kissing her head. She knew it couldn't be helped but the timing of everything was really unfortunate. At least when Harry was ill she could hold and comfort him now she couldn't do the same for her daughter. Meanwhile, she was keenly aware that her husband had more than enough on his plate and she wasn't in much of a position to help him.

In the middle of her contemplation, Lily's bell rang out and Harm sighed. Getting Lily would mean letting go of Harry which would result in him making a bee-line for his mother. Then an idea struck him.

"Hey, Harry, can you come help me with Lily's wheelchair?" he asked and Harry nodded enthusiastically. He may have loved his mommy very much but he also loved helping his daddy with anything.

Strapping the toddler into the wheelchair in the living room, Harm wheeled him down to the bedroom and to his daughter.

"Hey punkin, look at me," Harry instructed as Lily sat up in the big bed.

Lily laughed. "Pretty cool, Harry," she replied.

"Do you need the bathroom?" Harm asked as he pulled back the covers, Lily shook her head and put her arms up.

"No, dad, just wanted to get up," she said, snuggling into her father's arms.

"Guess it's time for you to get out, buddy," he said, carrying Lily back to the chair.

"My chair, my chair," he chanted, gripping onto the armrests.

"He can stay in it, dad," Lily said and Harm gave her a half smile. At least for the next while Harry would be confined and occupied.

Shifting Lily around so he could piggy back her, Harm wheeled Harry out and back to the living room to find Mac and Rose curled up in the sofa.

"How's she doing?" Harm asked, depositing Lily on the sofa next to them.

"Okay," Mac said. "Just needs a little mommy TLC."

Harm smiled wryly; he could do with a little TLC from this particular mommy.

The early evening was spent with the family in the living room, Harry dividing his attention between the wheelchair he was yet to give up and the Bob the Builder DVD which was playing, Rose resting in her father's arms while Mac helped Lily with her school work.

Without preamble, Harry shouted "Dinner!" and Harm was surprised to see it was heading towards seven, way past dinner time for the youngest MacKenzie Rabbs.

It was a simple meal of sausages, mashed potato, carrots and peas which Lily and Harry ate heartily. Rose ate some of the potato but only when spoon fed by her mother, preferring to play with the peas more than anything else. Mac was eating too but she was aware that Harm wasn't.

"You okay?" she asked quietly, catching his eye. He nodded but she wasn't convinced. "Want something different?" she asked and he shook his head before smiling and swallowing another mouthful of his vegetarian sausage. For a minute, Mac watched him but when one of Harry's carrots sailed passed her head, she turned her attention back to the children.

It was late before all the children were bedded down for the night and, returning to the living room, Harm was surprised find the room empty. A quick investigation found Mac in their bathroom and quietly Harm knocked on the door.

"You okay in there, Mac?" he asked, his head resting on the door.

"Ah, yeah, I think so," she replied, pain evident in her voice.

"Can I come in?" he asked, wanting to check for himself.

"Sure," she replied.

Harm opened the door to find his wife sitting on the edge of the tub, her fingers gripping it tightly.

"What's going on?" he asked as he watched her take in some deep breaths.

"Just a little sore," she said with a grimace.

"How much is just a little?" he asked, kneeling down in front of her.

"I can handle it," she said, caressing his face.

"I know," he agreed, returning the gesture. "But you didn't answer my question."

"It's on the big side of little," she admitted, leaning her face into the palm of his hand.

"Can I look?" he asked, his fingers tracing the hem of her shirt.

When Mac nodded, he raised the top and frowned when he saw evidence of bleeding on the bottom dressing.

"This one?" he asked and Mac nodded.

"Think it was Harry being 'gentle' when I was tucking him in," she admitted.

"Did he tear the stitches?" he asked, caressing her side.

"Don't think so, just pulled them a bit," she said, whimpering as his fingers traced the dressing.

"Want me to change the dressing?" he asked, looking up into her soulful chocolate eyes.

"Please," she replied in a whisper.

With a look of tender concern she hadn't quite seen before, Harm gently pulled off the soiled dressing and cleaned the wound before redressing it. When he was sure it was properly adhered, he leant down and kissed it.

"All done," he replied, getting to his feet. "You'll be as good as new in no time."

"You really think that?" she asked, grabbing his hand and tugging him back to her.

"I sure do," he replied, as she used his hand to help her stand. "Don't you?" he checked, ducking his head to catch her eyes.

"Yeah, I guess so," she said as she adjusted her bed clothes.

"What do you mean you guess so?" he asked, using his forefinger to raise her face.

"Nothing," she replied with a shrug, "You're right I'll be as good as new." She leant in to kiss his cheek and while Harm was sure she had just corrected herself for his benefit he didn't push her on it.

"You need anything before we go to bed?" he asked, letting her lead him back into their bedroom.

"Nope, I have all I need right here," she said, pressing softly against him and kissing him.

Curled up into her husband, Mac slowly ran her finger up and down his bare chest. She'd missed this; this togetherness, this intimacy. While she knew this encounter couldn't go anywhere she still relished the feel of his skin under her fingertips and his warm breath on her neck.

"Love you, Harm," she whispered, planting a kiss above his heart.

"Love you too, Mac," he replied dropping a kiss on her crown.

"Are you okay, Harm?" she asked, looking up at him and tracing the circles under his eyes.

"I'm fine," he replied, kissing her forehead. "Just tired."

"Okay, I'll let you sleep," she said with a touch of sadness, retracting her hand and snuggling into him.

"Mac," he said reaching below the covers to find her hand once more and entwine his fingers with hers. "I'll take being awake with you over sleeping any day of the week."

Smiling happily, Mac reached up once more and to caress his face.

They talked for little more than half an hour with the conversation staying light and breezy before both fell asleep happily wrapped in the other's arms. It was dawn before Harm awoke, more than pleased with six hours of sleep, only interrupted twice. Silently he slipped out of bed before pulling on his sweats and trainers and leaving a note on his pillow. With a quick check on the children to make sure they were still sleeping soundly, Harm hit the pavement for a run.

Knowing a good long run would do wonders for his energy and sense of wellbeing, he checked his watch. The kids would start stirring in forty five minutes, and hour at the most and he couldn't take the risk that they wouldn't wake any earlier, especially Lily. So, as a compromise, he took off for a thirty minute run at twice the pace he normally would.

Arriving home out of breath and sweat stained, he was surprised to find Mac pottering around the kitchen.

"Didn't think you'd be up?" he said, kissing her head as he walked in.

"I think I felt your absence and woke up," she said, handing him a bottle of water. "Enjoy your run?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding before taking a long drink. "It's been a while since I've had a decent run."

"You've had your hands full over recent weeks, haven't you?" she said, leaning back on the counter.

"Nothing I can't handle," he said, kissing her hand as it lingered on his.

"Can I get you breakfast?" she asked, stroking his face.

"Not yet," he said, placing the bottle back on the counter. "I might just go have a shower and get dressed before the kids wake ready to take on the world."

"Okay then," she replied, kissing him briefly.

As Harm showered and dressed, Mac prepared breakfast for the kids, hoping she could persuade Harm to take her out for theirs once the kids had been dropped off. She was already starting to feel the limitations of her recovery and knew a small trip out would do her wonders. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to combine two of her favourite things – pancakes and her husband.

Carrying Lily into the kitchen, he was surprised to see the twins already in their chairs munching away.

"Good morning, my angel," Mac said, padding over to kiss and hug Lily after Harm set her on the chair. "Ready for breakfast?"

"Yes, please, mommy," she replied, picking up the apple juice which was already in her glass.

"And just how did these munchkins get up and into their highchairs?" Harm asked, raising an eyebrow at his wife.

"Well, Harry was calling for breakfast so I went in and we made a deal," Mac said, setting a bowl of cereal in front of Lily.

"And what was that deal?" he asked, pouring the milk into Lily's bowl.

"That they could get up so long as mommy didn't have to carry them," she replied, mopping up some of the milk spilt by Rose.

"And how did they get into their chairs if mommy can't lift?" he asked, staring at his wife.

"I removed their trays, pulled the kitchen chair over and they climbed up – no lifting at all, I promise," she said, smiling at her husband.

"Okay, that sounds feasible," he replied quietly.

"Honestly, Harm, I didn't lift them, okay?" she said pointedly, her turn to arch an eyebrow – his care and concern was one thing, his over protectiveness was something else altogether.

Suitably chastised, Harm dropped the subject and took the opportunity to check on his youngest daughter.

"And how is Rosie Rose doing this morning?" he asked, kissing his daughter's head.

"Daddy!" she squealed, holding up a spoonful of cereal and splattering him in the process.

"I think Rose is much better today," Mac said, handing him a napkin.

"Glad to hear it," he said kissing Rose's head. A healthy child was just what was needed.

Scanning the table, he realised there was no place set for him and he walked around to the sink where Mac was standing.

"Did I miss my opportunity?" he asked, pushing a stray lock back behind her ear.

"Opportunity for...?" she asked, glancing back at the children.

"For breakfast," he said, nodding towards the table.

"Well, I was thinking that after we drop the kids off this morning then perhaps we can eat breakfast out," she said, a shy smile gracing her lips.

"And just where did you have in mind?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"IHOP," she whispered, lest Lily, their very own pancake aficionado, overheard.

"Wow!" he mocked her, with a cheeky grin. "Now, there's a surprise."

"So, can we ... please?" she asked, aware he hadn't given her an answer.

"Anything you want, gorgeous, anything you want," he replied, kissing her.

xoxoxo


	9. Chapter 9

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

Thanks for the reviews - they are much appreciated.

------------change--------------

After the first few days of her recuperation, Mac lay in bed pondering the situation with Harm. He was caring and attentive, and she wouldn't have expected anything else from him; his love and devotion to her still amazed and touched her all these years later. However, he was giving her space and not doing everything for her, which was a surprise after the way he'd treated her through other illnesses and pregnancies.

Additionally, he seemed to have no intention of returning to work. A couple of times she'd raised the question but he'd either artfully dodged it or one of the children had interrupted.

"You look serious?" Harm commented as he stood by the door, her cup of tea in hand. "Mac?" he called when she didn't respond.

"Sorry," she said with a start. "What were you saying?"

"What are you thinking about?" he questioned, as he placed the cup on her bedside table and sat down facing her.

"Thinking of you, actually," she replied, taking one of his hands in both of hers.

"And what were you thinking about me?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

"You haven't really been yourself..." she started. "Although I know I'm one to talk."

"What do you mean?" he asked, surprised by her observation.

"Well," she started slowly before sitting up on the bed, and looking at him. "Well..." she started again. "You have been doing an amazing job looking after everyone ... and I do appreciate it..."

"But..." he prompted, knowing there was one coming.

"But..." she repeated, a slight smirk on her lips, he knew her so well. "But you're not really eating, you look exhausted and... and..."

"And?" he prompted, more than concerned by the way she was nervously chewing on her bottom lip.

"And...you keep avoiding the question about returning to work, which is so not like you...and I can't figure out what that means... for you, for me, for us..." she rambled, her thoughts stumbling over one another.

"Well," he replied in the same slow manner. "I'm eating enough, so don't worry about me. I look exhausted because looking after a household of people is exhausting...but as I keep saying, it's nothing I can't handle."

For a moment he paused and took in her worried expression.

"And as far as returning to work...I haven't quite decided about that," he said, brushing back her hair.

"What do you mean?" she asked, playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Well, when Lily broke her ankles, I organised to have that week off, and then when you went in and had your procedure on Monday, I called and organised for the rest of this week off as well," he said, entwining his fingers with hers.

"So, you're going back on Monday?" she asked, looking up at him only to find his head shaking. "No?"

"No," he confirmed. "I spoke to the General yesterday and I am not going back just yet."

"Why not?" she asked, pulling back from him.

Drawing in a deep breath, Harm didn't know which way to answer. He wasn't sure she was ready to hear what he had to say but he didn't want to not answer her and cause more problems for them.

"Harm?" she questioned, tugging on his arm. "What's going on?"

"Okay," he started slowly once more. If nothing else, he owed her the truth. "I was talking to my grandmother a couple of nights ago..." Mac nodded, she remembered the call. "And she wants us to come visit."

"Now's not really..." Mac went to interrupt.

"Yeah, I know it's not really the time," he agreed. "But she's not managing so well anymore..."

"Well, she is 89," she commented. "I mean, she's spry and all but 89 is old."

"Yeah," Harm nodded. "She wants to talk to me about a few things and I'm guessing that perhaps she feels her time's drawing to an end."

"Don't talk like that," Mac said, gently caressing his face.

"Well, as you said, 89 is old," he said sadly, leaning his forehead on hers.

"And you think we should head out there, so you can check up on her?" she asked, snaking her hand behind his neck and holding him close. This would explain his preoccupation of late, on top of everything else.

"Only if you're up to it," he said quickly. "School's out for summer next week and you'll have your appointment to have the stitches out, so we could go then and the fresh country air would do you and Lily the world of good, not to mention the twins. We haven't managed to visit her since the twins came along and it would be good if they could be there while Grams is still there... you know?"

Mac nodded and smiled at him. In the past she'd gone back to work as soon as possible after procedures, even if it was to go on light duties. This time she had planned to take the first two weeks and then see how things were. Lately, she'd been thinking that it was all too hard. She'd given her life to the military, first at JAG and then as the military justice 'expert' based at the Pentagon; though she did still much of her time at JAG Headquarters.

They'd had countless discussions as to their futures, particularly their military ones; though they hadn't talked about it much recently. Suddenly, her mind was made up; she still had a pile of leave on the books and perhaps this was the best time to take it – spend some time with her family, see what else was out there in the big wide world.

"So, we can go?" he asked hopefully, and Mac couldn't help but think he looked like an eager little boy.

"Course we can," she said, leaning forward and kissing his nose.

"You sure?" he asked, surprised she'd agreed so readily.

"Positive," she replied, caressing his face. Perhaps now was the time to focus more on him than herself...something she hadn't be able to do in a long time.

"Good, I'll call my grandmother and tell her. You should drink your tea before it gets cold," he said, kissing her head as he stood.

"Think you're grandmother can wait?" she asked, tugging him back to the bedside.

"Sure," he replied, "Why?" he asked, standing at the edge looking down at her.

"Because...well, if you don't mind, I'd like you to lay here with me for a bit," she said, dropping her head as an unexpected bout of shyness hit.

"Of course I don't mind," he said. "What about your tea?" Harm allowed himself to be pulled onto the bed as Mac shuffled back onto his half.

"It doesn't matter," she said, waiting until he lay down before easing herself in next to him; his chest providing the perfect pillow.

"You tired?" he asked, his fingers raking through her hair, surprised she was voluntarily in bed at midday.

"Nope," she replied with a contented sigh. "Just wanted to be with you...you know?"

"Sure do," he replied, kissing her head once more. He had missed this, just being with her too.

Idle chatter gave way to a comfortable silence as they lay entwined upon their bed, Mac's fingers still making lazy trails on his chest, Harm's fingers working their way through her hair. Just as Mac was drifting off the phone rang and Harm wanted to curse the intrusion.

Polite as always, Harm answered it in a civil tone lest it be a superior...and it was; it was his mother.

"Hi, mom," he greeted quietly, not wanting to disturb his wife.

"Hello, son," she replied. "Just calling to find out how that precious granddaughter of mine is recovering?"

"Lily's doing well," he replied. "A little frustrated at times but coping well.

"You should expect a package from me soon...I got Lily the Barbie she wanted...and put something in there for the twins too, just so I'm not playing favourites. ," she said, "And I know you're about to say I shouldn't have but I have and it's already in the mail so there's no point disputing it now."

"Mom," he said, with a shake of the head. "You spoil them."

"No more than they deserve to be spoilt," she answered sharply. Trish Barnett had waited long enough for grandchildren and no-one, not even her own son, was going to stop her spoiling them.

"And how are the twins?" Trish continued, knowing Harm wasn't one to offer information willingly.

"Very well...as boisterous as ever," he said with a chuckle.

"Now, more importantly," she said seriously. "How's that beautiful wife of yours doing?"

"Well, all things considered," he said in a whisper. "Mac's doing okay."

"Harm," Mac mumbled at the mention of her name.

"What does 'okay' mean, Harmon?" Trish questioned, not letting it drop.

"Well, there are good days and bad days but she's getting there," he replied, raking his hands through her locks once more.

"And how's she coping with it?" she continued to probe,

"She's coping," Harm answered quickly. "She's tough...she's a marine..."

"Sempre fi," Mac muttered, fisting his shirt. He could only smile; his wife was definitely a marine through and through.

"And how about as a woman?" Trish asked, knowing just how difficult all this could be.

Harm paused, unsure as to how to answer that. Truth was he had no idea how the woman in Mac was truly recovering.

"Harm, are you still there?" she asked, listening intently.

"Sorry, mom," he replied, his eyes tearfully focused on Mac.

"Mom...mommy's here," Mac mumbled nestling into him further.

"What is it, Harm?" she asked, gently.

"Nothing, it's alright," he said quietly. "Mac's here asleep on me at the moment, but she seems to think she's a part of this conversation."

"Harmon," his mother said firmly. "How is Mac truly doing with all of this? I know it's not easy."

"Truth is, I really don't know, mom," he answered honestly. "I mean, physically she's getting better, her moods are improving but as a woman...I ...well, I just don't know."

"Have you asked her?" Trish asked gently and could tell by the pause the answer would be negative. "Do you think it would help if I had a chat with her?"

Harm thought about it for a moment, after seeing the strength the mother-daughter relationship had brought Mac during this period in her life he knew it was a valuable one. He also knew it was at times like this Mac missed having a mother of her own and he could only surmise that perhaps some woman to woman time with his mother may be the way to go.

For the next few minutes, Harm discussed the details of their impending visit to his grandmother and his idea that perhaps it was the perfect opportunity for a family get together and some mother-daughter time for Mac; even if it was of the in-law variety.

Once his call was concluded, Harm turned his attention back to his wife and despite having a whole list of household tasks he should be doing, he decided that laying there holding her was by far the most important task he had. Drifting in and out of sleep, he tried to recall the last time Mac had slept so soundly and he was ashamed that he couldn't recall it. Between the pain, the children, her job, his job and a myriad of other things, he conceded that Mac probably hadn't slept this still and deeply since early in the twins' pregnancy.

After that realisation and with the clock heading towards Lily's pick up time, Harm was torn as to what to do. With a deep breath and the hope he wasn't stretching their friendship too much, he called Harriet and as he expected she readily agreed to pick up the child and take her back to her own place. Harm reassured her that he'd be alright to pick the twins up but Harriet wasn't so sure. In the end, she told him to call back at five and if Mac was still asleep, she'd leave AJ with the kids and come and pick up Harm's car and get the twins herself. When Harm went to protest, Harriet stopped him.

"Harm, you listen to me," she said in a firm tone of which Harm had never been on the receiving end. "Not only does Mac need every last minute of uninterrupted sleep, she needs some time with just you to get it. When the kids are there she's feeling very guilty about not being able to do things so this is really for the best."

"I appreciate it, Harriet, but I don't know when she'll wake?" he said quietly.

"It doesn't matter," she replied, "Right now, the most important thing is Mac... if it's later, it's later, it's not the end of the world."

By five, Mac was still sound asleep, not having moved from her more than comfortable position nestled into Harm. Arrangements were made with Harriet, and using the spare keys she had, Harriet let herself into the house and padded to the bedroom to pick up the car keys, only stopping long enough to spread the throw rug over Harm and Mac.

By seven, Mac was still asleep but her listless movements told Harm she'd wake soon. Glancing at the clock, he couldn't believe she'd been asleep nearly seven hours, something of a record. With a growling stomach and a growing need for the bathroom, Harm wasn't sure just how much more sleep he could afford her.

"Hmmmm," she mumbled, fisting his shirt and burrowing into him. "Lo...v...e...youuuu."

"Love you too, gorgeous," he replied kissing her head. "Very much."

"Hmmmm," she continued."Hunnnnngry."

"Yeah, so am I," he agreed, rubbing her back in the hope she'd wake fully.

"Hmmmm,"she said before something snuck through the sleep haze and her eyes popped open. "Shit! It's 1926 – Lily! The twins!" she exclaimed trying to get up but Harm held her tightly and she failed.

"Ssh, shh," Harm soothed. "It's all fine. The kids are fine. It's all organised."

Slumping back down, Mac studied her husband as her heartbeat slowed to normal. "How?"

In the growing darkness of their room, Harm explained the days happening to his wife and she looked on with in a mix of awe and concern.

"So, you're telling me you haven't moved from here in the last seven and a half hours?" she asked, incredulously. It would explain why she'd slept so soundly, her beautiful husband hadn't moved.

"No, I haven't," he said, dropping a kiss on her nose. "But now you're awake, I really have to get up ... I've needed the bathroom for a while now."

Quickly Mac let him go and he slid out and trotted to their bathroom. Although it wasn't intentional, she couldn't help but overhear him in there and had to laugh to himself; the man must have had a bladder the size of a basketball. Once upon a time, she too could go without a bathroom trip for hours, courtesy of her marine training. These days, she was lucky if she only had to go once an hour.

"All better?" she asked as he reappeared in the doorway.

"Much..." he replied with a relieved grin.

"You could have gotten up earlier," she said, slowly easing her legs from under the blanket.

"What? And woken you?" he asked and watched as she nodded. "No chance."

Padding around the bed, he helped his wife stand and couldn't help but grin at her sleep tousled hair.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, caressing her face.

"Much better," she replied, standing on tip toes to kiss his nose. "But I think I have to follow your lead." She kissed him once more before heading to the bathroom.

Both well rested and relieved, Mac made her way out to the living room and found Harm concluding a call on his cell.

"Can we go get the kids?" she asked, feeling somewhat guilty it was past their bedtime and she still hadn't seen them.

"No, need," he replied and headed to the door, opening it in time to see his own car pull up, followed by Bud's car driven by AJ.

As Mac stayed in the house, Harm went out to collect Lily and her chair, while AJ carried a sleeping Rose in and Bud carried an almost asleep Harry.

"Mommy?" Lily said, holding out her arms for her mother. Mac hugged and kissed her while Harm held onto her.

"Daddy's going to put you to bed now," Mac said, caressing the youngster's face. "But I'll come in and read you a story in a minute, okay?" Lily nodded wearily.

Leading AJ and Bud to the twins' bedroom, Mac waited for AJ to set her daughter down before removing her shoes.

"She's already in her pj's?" Mac observed and AJ nodded.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied with a snappy salute. "Mom said to tell you the kids were all fed, watered, bathed and dressed for bed."

"Your mother's amazing," Mac said shaking her head, now glad she had left spare clothes and pyjamas at the Roberts in case of impromptu babysitting sessions.

'Yes, she is, Aunty Mac," he agreed, before moving out of the way of his father and Harry.

While Rose slept through the whole relocation, Harry was becoming more alert, something which Mac didn't want. Sitting in the rocking chair, Bud placed the child in her arms and Harry settled almost immediately, once his hand had disappeared up under her shirt.

After bidding the Roberts men farewell, Mac settled back into the chair and rocked gently. Not long after she heard the front door close Harm appeared in the bedroom doorway.

"Didn't take long to knock him out once more," he said, nodding to the sleeping bundle in her arms.

"Nope," she said, looking up at him. "One hand up my shirt and on my breast seemed to do the trick."

"He did that to me the night you were in hospital," Harm commented, kneeling down in front of them and kissing his son's head.

"Really?" she replied, caressing his husband's face.

"Yeah, guess he's a breast man, regardless," he said with a chuckle.

"Just like his daddy, hey?" Mac whispered, tilting her head.

"Just so long as the breasts are mommy's," he replied with a smirk. He'd never had such a fascination with breasts until he became involved with Mac and since then, even he had to admit he had a preoccupation with them, especially during sex, or foreplay, or just being curled up together.

When they were sure Harry was fully asleep once more, Harm lifted the child and put him in his cot.

"Guess we'll have to look at beds for these two," Mac said sadly as she leaned against the door watching him. "They're not babies anymore."

"We can do it over summer," he said, kissing her head. "Right now, I think it's food time. Don't know about you but I'm starving."

As Harm headed back to the kitchen, Mac made her way into Lily for the promised story reading. Crawling into bed with her daughter, she was surprised to find a teary, sad girl.

"What's the matter, pumpkin?" she asked wrapping her daughter up in her arms.

Lily said nothing but snuggled deeper, sniffling as she did.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Mac asked, a little more firmly, drawing the child's face up. "What is it, baby?"

For the longest time Lily said nothing and just as Mac thought she may have fallen asleep, Lily drew in a deep breath and grabbed hold of Mac's top.

"Mommy," she whispered into the darkness. "Nikki ... she...doesn't matter." She fell silent once more.

"What about Nikki?" Mac asked, concerned about her little girl.

"She's a girl, you know," Lily whispered as if it were a state secret.

"Yeah, I know," she agreed, raking her fingers through Lily's brown curly locks.

"And she got a friend today and didn't want to play with me," she reported tearfully.

"What was her friend's name?" Mac asked, a little unsure as to the nature of the conversation.

"Jimmy said it was Flo but when he did Aunty Harriet got really mad and sent him to his room," she said, pulling on Mac's top. "I didn't do anything wrong but she wouldn't play with me. She said she was a girl and I was just a little kid and I knew nothing." She started to sob.

"Oh, Lily, no honey, it's okay," Mac said, kissing her head and rubbing her back. "I think that maybe Nikki is going through puberty."

"No," Lily said with a shake of her head. "She hurt herself ... and she was in a bad mood..."

"What do you mean she hurt herself?" Mac asked, raising her daughter's face to meet hers.

"I don't know what she did but she was bleeding and her mom had to help her," Lily reported.

Reappearing at the door, Harm was a little concerned by the tearful, serious conversation his girls were having.

"Something wrong?" he asked, sitting at the end of the bed, rubbing his wife's legs.

"Ah, um, no," she replied slowly which to Harm said yes with a capital Y.

"Anything I can do?" he asked, scanning his wife's face for any information.

"Can you stay with Lily for me, please? I need to check something with Harriet," she said and when he nodded, she exchanged places with her husband.

xoxoxo


	10. Chapter 10

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: Where facts in this story are different to what we saw on the screen, I have used creative license to make it fit together.

I'm not sure what the puberty ages are elsewhere, but the details included here are Australian...you'll know what I mean when you get to it.

Thanks for the reviews.

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Five minutes was all it took before Mac returned with a sympathetic smile for Harm who didn't seem to be able to get Lily to talk to him at all.  
"All she said was that I was a boy and I don't get it," he said, standing and stretching.  
"Well, how about you go and find something for us to eat?" she said, stroking his arm as she walked past. "I won't be long."

Not too sure what the situation was and hoping against hope it wasn't what he thought it might be; given the way she'd delivered her 'boy' line, Harm headed out to the kitchen with a sigh.

"I spoke to Aunty Harriet," Mac started as she slid back between the pink sheets. "And she told me what was going on with Nikki."  
"She hates me, doesn't she?" Lily asked tearfully. "I didn't do anything wrong."  
"Of course not, pumpkin," Mac said, kissing her head. "No one could ever hate you."  
"Then what?" she asked, shifting around to face her mother.

With a deep breath, Mac filled Lily in on all the basics of the female reproductive system and the monthly reminder it brought with it to let you know you were a woman...just in case you forgot.

Lily looked worried at first; it all being a bit beyond her understanding.

But Mac caressed her face and explained it all again in a gentle manner and smiled when her daughter nodded.  
Just when Mac thought she may be able to slip out and finally eat something, Lily tugged on her arm.  
"Mom, you know how the blood makes a home in your uterus each month for a baby?" she started and Mac nodded. "You never told me how the baby gets in. Remember at the hospital you said we'd talk about it."

Mac nodded again; since the day her daughter was born she had vowed she would be open and honest and gentle about all milestones in life, something which she had never experienced. Somehow, though, she'd expected to have this conversation when Lily was going into high school, not when she was two months off turning eight.

"How about we leave that conversation until summer break?" she suggested. "I think you have enough to think about with what we've talked about already, don't you?"  
Lily nodded, it was enough.

Heading to the kitchen, Mac was surprised to see the beginning of a meal but no husband. She started working on the salad he'd partially organised before looking out the kitchen window and seeing him sitting slumped on a rail midway down the yard in the darkness.

Wrapping her arms around him from behind, Mac held him close and kissed his head and waited, wanting to give him the opportunity to open up to her. Kissing his head once more, Mac was surprised to feel the splash of his tears against her bare forearm. Quickly, she moved around to be in front of him and cradled his head to her, wondering just what had gotten him into this state.

It took him several minutes but finally he spoke.  
"She's a baby...why does she have to get her period now? She's just a baby..." he said tearfully.  
"Well, that's the way it is, honey," she said, caressing his face. "Average age is 10, early onset is 8..."  
"But she's a baby," he protested. "Her biggest problem at school should be whether to use the slide or the monkey bars...not pads or tampons."  
"I know, I know," she said with a gentle smile. More than surprised he was so emotional over his goddaughter. Then she thought that with perhaps her recent 'womanly' trials that maybe he was extra sensitive about it.  
"How do I talk to her about it?" he asked, searching his wife's face. "How do I let her know that I love her and that she can come to me anytime about it?"

Mac studied him for a minute. Yes, he loved his goddaughter but something just didn't sit right. Then it dawned on her. Framing his face in her soft hands, Mac kissed his nose. "Harm, you do know that it's Nikki who got her period today, not Lily, don't you?"

Staring at her, Harm tried to absorb her words. It was Nikki. Not Lily. When he'd gone back to the bedroom and heard Lily talking about periods and heard Mac say it was alright she'd have her mommy to help, he couldn't help but assume it was Lily.  
"It's Nikki?" he questioned. "It's not Lily."  
"No, honey," she said, stroking his face. "If it was Lily I would have told you."  
"Thank god," he said, leaning his head on her shoulder.  
"You do know that she is going to get it though," Mac said, rubbing his back. "She may be anywhere from 8 to 15 when she gets it but she'll get it...she won't stay your baby forever."  
"I know...I just thought I'd get a couple more years," he said, wrapping his arms around her.  
"And you probably will," she said, leaning her head against his. "Her body hasn't really started to change yet, so it'll most likely be a while."

Harm shook his head; he didn't want to think about his little daughter growing up in anyway.  
"She'll always be daddy's girl though," Mac said reassuringly as she kissed his cheek.  
"Sure," he muttered, as Mac took his hand and led him back to the house. "It's all happening so fast and there's nothing I can do about it..."  
"Well, Lily wants to know how babies are made...maybe you could talk to her about that," she suggested, opening the back door. She turned in time to see her husband's cheeks flush.  
"Ah, no...think I'll leave that one to you too," he said, turning his attention back to the dinner he'd abandoned.  
"Why?" she asked, tugging at his arm. "We could do it together..."  
"That's what got us a daughter in the first place," he said with a smirk, nudging her.  
"Do you want to be there when I talk to her about sex?" Mac asked, holding his gaze.  
"Would she want me there?" he asked, knowing he was mortified anytime his mother had brought up the topic of sex. "Because I don't want to make her uncomfortable."

Mac chuckled, by the look on her husband's face she knew it wasn't her daughter who'd be uncomfortable.  
"Don't be embarrassed, Harm," she said, patting his arm. "You're quite the expert," she added with a sly wink.  
"Well, I don't think our daughter needs to know that," he said quickly, ducking his head to hide the blush on his cheeks.  
"I guess not," Mac said, prepared to let the topic drop for now...but just for now.

Seated at the dinner table not twenty minutes later, Mac decided now was a perfect time to discuss the topic which so obviously embarrassed Harm. It wasn't that she wanted to mortify him but she felt it was something they needed to talk about.  
"Who told you about sex?" she asked without warning and Harm almost choked on the water he was drinking.  
"What do you mean?" he asked when he had recovered sufficiently.  
"When you were younger," she clarified, picking up her glass. "Who did the birds and bees talk?"  
"Um...no one really. Mom tried but we were both so embarrassed she ended up talking about actual birds," he answered, focusing on his dinner plate. "Then, later on, Frank tried to but I wasn't really interested in anything he had to say."  
"So...." she trailed. "Where did you get your information from?" Her fork was paused midair...she'd often joked that Harm was a prude, this may have explained why that was the case.  
"Um...well, Ms Harris covered Sex Ed in high school and other than that, I guess it was what I heard or read...you know, what your friends tell you," he admitted, chancing a look at her. "What about you?"

"Pretty much the same," she said nodding. "Mom wasn't around and while I'd heard about sex...periods not so much. First time I got it I thought I was going to die." Harm looked at her and saw her big brown eyes fill with tears at the memory. "So, I told my friend, Carrie, because she knew everything, and she told her mom and she told me about it."  
"What about your dad?" Harm asked, reaching across to talk her hand.  
"Ah, well, he didn't know...at first," she said, slowly, looking everywhere but at her husband.  
"And then what?" Harm prompted, concerned by her shift in mood.  
"When I was thirteen I stole five dollars from his wallet to buy some sanitary supplies and he noticed...I done it before but he'd always been too drunk to realise," she said, dropping her cutlery onto her plate.  
"What did he do?" he asked, his thumb running circles around the back of her hand.  
"Well, when I told him what it was for, he grunted at me and then said ... I'd better not be screwing around because he already had a selfish bitch of a daughter he didn't need some hungry little shitting grandkid around too," Mac replied, a shudder running through her as she recollected the moment.

Taking and expelling a huge breath, Harm moved and slid into the seat next to Mac before wrapping her in his arm.  
"We didn't exactly have the model upbringings, did we?" he said, rhetorically. Mac shook her head. "And this is why you want to be so candid with Lily?"  
"Yeah," she admitted, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I just never want her to be scared or confused or think she can't come to me...to us...for anything, you know?"  
"Yeah, I know," he said, kissing her head. "So, we'll talk to her together...Make sure she knows what's what...and that we're always here for her."

Mac smiled. They'd come so far from their own childhoods.

Taking a deep breath, Mac decided to forge ahead and share some of her more recent thoughts and fears, hoping that Harm would continue to be as supportive as he had been.  
"When I was 15, I thought I was pregnant," she said after he'd slipped back into his chair. "I wasn't..." she added quickly when she saw his furrowed brow. "But I thought I was..."

Harm looked at her curiously; they'd never discussed losing their virginity. Both knew the dramas the other had growing up and after their union they had focused on the future and not the past.  
"What?" she asked when he failed to speak.  
"You lost your virginity at 15?" he half asked, half stated.  
"No, 14 actually, in the backseat of an old Buick," she said without shame. "Worst night of my life...well, I thought it was at the time."  
"So, what happened when you were 15?" he asked, directing the conversation back to her initial comment.  
"It was summer and there wasn't much to do around town so Ben and I had been fooling around a lot and my period was late," she said, returning her attention to twirling her fork in her pasta. "I don't think I've ever prayed as hard as I did for the next three days. Then it came and I was so relieved I cried."  
"Would have been very scary for you," Harm commented, wondering why she was telling him this now.  
"Yeah, it was," she said with a small nod before taking a breath and continuing with her point. "But with all this stuff," she said, gesturing towards her abdomen, "I got to thinking what life would have been like if I had been pregnant back then."  
"It would have taken you on a different path," he observed, silently thanking God that it wasn't the case.  
"Yeah, I know." She nodded in agreement. "Never would have entered the marines, or gone into law, or met you."  
"And that would have been a tragedy," he said, slipping back into the chair beside her. "I can't imagine what my life would have been like if it weren't for you...not just for the years we've been married but ever since we met in the rose garden all those years ago."  
"I know," she said, kissing his lips briefly. "Can't imagine any life, any future which doesn't have you in it."  
"Glad to hear it, Mac," he said, kissing her hand. "So, what's sparked this trip down memory lane?"  
"The thought that had I been pregnant at 15, then that baby would be 30 now...30... can you imagine me with a 30 year old child?" She shook her head at the thought. "I'm still dealing with diapers and elementary school and I could have had a 30 year old and been a grandma!"  
"When I was 17, a girl at school was pregnant," Harm began quietly. "I know it's common now but back then it was a huge thing. Anyway, the rumours went around that I was the father and needless to say I was a little stunned."  
"It wasn't yours, was it?" Mac just had to ask, although she was full sure the answer would be in the negative.  
"No, it wasn't," Harm said, "But it was a hell of a time. People, friends, tell me I should do the right thing and marry her...you know all those things..."  
"Well, marrying a girl once you got her pregnant was the thing to do back then," Mac said, as she refilled their glasses with water. "So, what happened? She wasn't pregnant?"  
"No, she was...ended up having a boy," he said leaning back in his chair. "She was a popular girl and you know how it is, image is everything. Turned out the father was your classic 'nerd' type..."  
"And she wanted it to be the handsome jock type?" Mac interjected.  
"Yeah, something like that...There was only one hitch with that," he said, before his eyes locked onto Mac's. "There was no way I could have been the father."  
"You mean you and she had never had sex?" Mac asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"I mean I'd never had sex...period," he admitted, dropping his gaze back to his plate.  
"How old were you...when you did?" Mac asked, taking his hand.  
"18," he admitted. "I know... a late bloomer."  
"Well, you've been 'late' for as long as I've known you," she said with a chuckle, only stopping when he glared at her. "But you're my late bloomer and that's all that counts."

Standing up, Mac padded around the table and kissed her husband. Perching on his knee, she raked her fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead before tilting his head up and gazing at him.  
"Guess we're both late bloomers," she said, caressing his face. "Instead of 30 years olds we have 7 and 2 year olds and a whole lot of child raising ahead of us."  
"You realise when the twins are 30, that I'll be 78...78, Mac," he said in all but a whisper.  
"I know, I'll be 75...just doesn't seem possible, does it?" she said, almost to herself, shaking her head.

"Did we leave it too late?" she asked.

That had been the pressing question ... no one she knew went through menopause when they had 2 year old children and she'd been wondering if the looming hysterectomy and resulting menopause could rob their children of a mommy and replace her with someone resembling a granny.  
"No," he said, kissing her head. "I'm a firm believer in what's meant to be is meant to be... Perhaps we had our children later in life so we can appreciate them more, give them the benefit of all our experiences and trials... what do you think?"  
"I think I was blessed the day I met you and I'm so very glad it worked out that you are the daddy of my babies," she whispered tearfully, pressing against him. "And that we'll spend the rest of our days together raising and loving them."

xoxoxo


	11. Chapter 11

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

Thanks for the reviews.

----------------change--------------------

The last week of school went fast and Lily was more than excited when Harm picked her up on the last day to start her summer vacation – especially as it meant a family trip to her great grandmother's farm. She loved it there and though she hadn't been in a few years, she still remembered feeding the chickens and watching the horses gallop in the adjoining field.

"Where's mom?" she asked, as Harm loaded the wheelchair into the back of the car. "I thought she said she'd come pick me up too?"  
"Mommy was a little sore after her appointment to have her stitches out this morning," Harm reported, as he slid into the driver's seat. "So, she's at home resting."  
"Did she get a good report like me?" Lily asked eagerly still very proud of her near perfect report card.  
"Dr Mollison was very happy with mommy and she said that things were looking good," Harm replied with a sigh of relief; he'd been praying for a good result. As an additional bonus, the doctor had said that as Mac's condition had improved so rapidly that they'd hold off on the next appointment but that Mac was to reschedule the moment she felt things weren't right. Something Harm had promised faithfully would happen, with or without his wife's consent.

With the early finish of the school day and the morning at Bethesda, lunch had not been eaten and Lily was feeling rather hungry.  
"Dad...dy," she sang from the backseat.  
"Yes....sy," he replied with a grin, he knew what was coming next.  
"Do you think we can have a special lunch today?" she asked. "You know 'cause I got such a good report and so did mom."  
"What did you have in mind?" he asked, shaking his head at just how much his wife and daughter sounded alike when trying to wrangle a fast food meal out of him.  
"Well, I think mommy would really love something from Beltway Burgers, don't you?" she asked, smiling broadly at him.  
"I think she might," Harm agreed. "But what about you?"  
"Well, I can get something from there too," she said happily. "After all, we don't want to have to stop twice, do we? Otherwise mom's burger will get cold."  
"That's very good of you, Lily, thinking of your mother," Harm said with a smirk.

Lily just giggled knowing that she and her mother had planned this particular lunch before she'd left for school. Harm glanced at his girl in the rear view mirror; he knew a guilty giggle when he heard one.  
"What are you giggling about?" he asked, in mock seriousness.  
"Nothing, daddy," she said with another giggle.

Carrying their bounty as her father carried her, Lily handed over the food bundle to her mother as she hugged her.  
"A special lunch, mommy," she said, gleefully. "Beltway Burgers ... just for you."  
"For me?!" she enthused. "Thank you, so much, Lily."

Easing Lily into a kitchen chair, Harm just shook his head, so much joy over a dead meat and grease filled meal. As he walked to the fridge he caught mother and daughter high-fiving and shook his head once more – he'd been set up by them...again.

While Mac and Lily ate heartily, Harm heated up some leftover lasagne and leant on the counter waiting for the microwave to ping. He couldn't help but smile at the simple joy the burgers had brought them and thought that perhaps their good news that morning had allowed them all to take a breath and just enjoy each other.

Turning his attention back to the microwave, he was more than surprised when Lily appeared beside him, holding the bench to keep herself steady.  
"Hey, what are you doing, pumpkin?" he asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "You know the doctor said no walking..."  
"I know, dad, but it doesn't hurt...look!" Letting go of the bench she took two steps before overbalancing and toppling forward. Saved from headbutting the floor by Harm's firm grasp on her shirt, Lily was brought back up into a standing position.  
"What were you saying, Lil?" he asked with a smile. "I know you think you can walk but your ankles are fixed in place, you've got no way of stabilising yourself."  
"But I just want to do things on my own...not waiting for you...not using my chair..." she said tearfully. Nearly three weeks of captivity had taken their toll.

Considering her plight for a moment, Harm looked to his wife for some help. Walking over to the pair, Mac kissed her daughter's head.  
"How about if we let you crawl?" she said. "But only in the house."  
"Like a baby?" she said, eyes widening as she considered this small reprieve.  
"Like a baby," Mac confirmed. "It may not feel that comfortable, especially at the top with the cast and your knee...but you can try it."

Instantly, Lily went to drop onto the floor but Harm held her firmly.  
"Maybe you should start on the carpet," he said gently, "It's a bit better for your knees than ceramic tiles."

It took Lily next to no time to master the ability to crawl with the casts, and aside from knocking the coffee table a few times, Harm was happy to leave her in the living room while he went back to get his lunch.  
"I'm surprised she's lasted this long," Mac said following him into the kitchen. "I think I would have been crawling from day 1."  
"Yeah, I think I would have too," he agreed, placing his plate on the table before looking over at Mac. "Can you come here for a minute?" he asked crooking a finger.  
"What's up?" she asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.  
"Were you the mastermind behind Miss Lily's request for Beltway Burgers?" he asked quietly, pulling her closer to him.  
"Moi? Would I do something like that?" she asked innocently.  
"Yes, you would," he confirmed. "I get the feeling I just got played."  
"Like a fiddle, Harm...like a fiddle." Mac laughed as she kissed him.

Over the weekend, Harm and Mac packed the last of the cases, ready for their trip. As the back of the vehicle got fuller and fuller, Harm could only laugh. Once upon a time he could have gone away for months with nothing more than a seabag. Now, a couple of weeks away meant packing more than the contents he'd ever had in his loft...still, he wouldn't have had it any other way.

This was going to be their first family vacation with the twins. They'd gone away with them overnight a few times but nothing as ambitious as this. Granted, they were going to another place which Harm considered home but the twins had never been there before and he wasn't too sure how they'd fair out of their natural habitat.

"You sure we've got enough?" Mac said, wrapping her arm around him as he surveyed the trunk.  
"Yeah, I think so," he said, returning the gesture. "So long as we don't forget their pillows and assorted favourite toys, we're set."  
"Lily is so excited," Mac said with a smile. "She's called your grandmother three times already today."  
"Really?" Harm said looking down at his wife. "For what?"  
"I think it's just to make sure that we're still welcome," she replied with a laugh. "Mind you, if she keeps calling, Grams will change her mind."  
"No chance, Mac," he said shaking his head. "My grandmother has called here more in the last week than in the whole time we've lived here. I think she may be more excited than Lily."

Any further discussion was curtailed by the sound of smashing glass and screaming.  
"Lily?" he yelled at sound of his daughter's panicked cries. "Where are you?"  
"Harm!" Mac called rushing into the seldom used dining room. "Lily, baby, what happened?" she asked gently, surveying her daughter's crumpled body covered in glass.  
"I was getting ...the...the ..." she began tearfully before Harm ran in and scanned the room.  
"Are you hurt, Lily?" he asked brusquely, squatting next to his wife and slowly taking off the glass shards he could see.  
"I wanted to get my report card..." she sobbed, pointing to the place where the shelf used to be in the cabinet. "I was going to take it to show Grams..."  
"And then what happened?" Mac asked as Harm continued his de-glassing mission; she could feel the emotions rolling off him.  
"I stood up and lost my balance...and it all came down," she said as her tears tumbled. "I'm sorry, mommy."  
"It's okay, Lily. Ssh now," she said wanting to cuddle her but not wanting to hurt her with the amount of glass around.

Not only had Lily brought down two glass shelves, but she'd also brought down their contents including eight fancy water glasses, a water jug, four photo frames and an assortment of special awards and items the family had gathered.

"What did I tell you about walking?" Harm asked gruffly before answering himself. "You weren't to do it."  
"I didn't walk, dad, I crawled and then stood up," she said, reaching for his hand. "I'm sorry, daddy. I didn't mean to make you mad at me."  
Drawing a deep breath, Harm looked at his daughter as his wife looked at him.  
"I'm not mad at you, Lily," he finally said with a reluctant sigh. "You just gave me a fright..."

After picking off most of the glass he could see, Harm helped Lily stand to brush off any other shards. When Mac pulled off three more pieces, Harm shook his head. Not being confident that there was no more glass embedded in her clothes, he had Mac strip her while he went to grab spare clothes for her.  
"Daddy is mad at me, isn't he?" she whispered once she was sure her dad had gone.  
"No, Lily, he's not. He said so," Mac said, caressing her face. "Daddy just got scared."  
"Daddy's never scared," she replied, not really believing her mother.  
"He is when it comes to you, and Rose and Harry," she said quietly.  
"And you?" Lily asked, as Mac raked her hand through Lily's hair.  
"Yeah, I think I've given daddy a few frights, but it doesn't mean he doesn't still love me...or you," she explained, sitting on a dining chair.

Standing at the door, Harm listened to the conversation, willing his emotions to settle. These two were two of the most important things in his life and over recent weeks had combined to add more than a few grey hairs to his head. He knew he shouldn't have been as gruff as he was but seeing his precious daughter lying in a pool of shattered glass, his control had faltered. He just wanted them both well and in one piece, was it too much to ask?

Returning to them, Harm dropped the clothes on the end of the table and moved to his daughter.  
"I love you very much, Lily," he said, kissing her head as he lifted her up from the glass covered carpet.  
"I'm really sorry, dad," she whispered as she clung to him as he tried to put her down.  
"I know you are, pumpkin," he said, drying her tears. "It's alright. Daddy will fix it."  
"I just wanted to show Grams my good report," she said tearfully, holding onto his shirt.  
"I know," he replied, kissing her head. "Grams will be very proud of you."  
"Not when she knows about this," Lily replied, gesturing to the ruins.  
"Then we won't tell her," he said with a wink.

By the time she was dressed and even with her father's mood improved, Lily was still very remorseful and teary. Sitting on a chair, Harm hoisted her into his lap and allowed her to cuddle into him. Mac went to check on the twins who were napping and was surprised to return to the dining room to find it empty. It didn't take much investigation to find them on the sofa in the living room.

"Can't do anything right...can I?" Lily was saying to her father. "I'm dumb and stupid."  
"You are not," Harm replied sternly.  
"Am so," she retorted. "Can't walk, can't stand, can't do anything... can't even have a bath."  
"Hey, hey," he said, pulling her closer as her tears tumbled again. "It's only temporary, you know that."  
"It feels like forever," she sobbed, as Harm rubbed her back.  
"It's only been three weeks," he replied, wondering how they were going to manage the second half of her recovery if she stayed in this state.  
"It's forever...three whole weeks...and three more to go...I won't be able to do anything at the farm and Grams won't let me help her in the kitchen and I won't be able to get the eggs or ride the horses," she rambled.  
"Hey, where's all this coming from?" Harm asked, drawing her face up. "An hour ago you were so excited."  
"That was before I was a stupid doody head," she said, shaking her head and clasping his shirt.

Mac had heard enough and walked in before sitting on the sofa next to them. Carefully, she pulled her daughter across onto her lap, being mindful of her own recent issues.  
"Lily, we know you are frustrated with your casts, we would be too if we had them," she said quietly as Lily wrapped her arms around Mac's neck. "It must feel like you can't do anything you want." Lily nodded. "And I bet you're thinking that when we get to Grams that you'll just have to sit in your chair so you won't break anything...of yours or of Grams." Lily nodded once more. "But you won't... daddy will ride the horses with you, Grams will let you help her...but you will have to be in a chair for that, you and I can collect the eggs every morning..."  
"What about the twins?" she asked wiping at her face.  
"Well, they'll be able to do things too, but you'll get to do some special things...and I bet Grams is going to make such a big fuss over you," Mac whispered, kissing her head.  
"She won't...she'll make a fuss over the twins because she hasn't met them yet...and everyone thinks they're so cute and stuff," Lily said, her normal good nature gone.  
"You're right, Grams probably will make a fuss over them, but you just wait, you're her special girl and she'll spoil you the most," Mac said with certainty. She knew the relationship the child and old lady had developed on their last visit when Lily was treated as nothing less than a princess.

Not knowing what else to say, Lily snuggled into her mother and closed her eyes, surprising Mac.  
"Are you tired, baby?" she asked, caressing her face. Lily nodded, her eyes still closed. "Did you sleep properly last night?" Lily shook her head...she'd been so excited about the coming vacation she had kept crawling out of bed to make sure she had packed everything she needed to. Mac smiled knowingly, this would explain the mood...the emotions.

"Do you want me to take you to bed for a nap?" Harm asked, standing from the sofa.  
Lily opened her eyes and shook her head. "Can't I just stay here with you, mommy?"  
Mac looked at Harm and he nodded, so Mac nodded too. "I think that's a good idea. How about we lay down here and nap together?"

After some careful manoeuvring and a rearranging of cushions, the pair lay comfortably entwined on the sofa. Tenderly, Harm covered them both with the throw rug before kissing their heads and whispering 'sweet dreams'. Closing the blind, then curtains, he blew Mac a kiss as he backed out of the door and closed it.

Taking a deep breath, he headed to the kitchen to grab the dustpan, brush and bin and then headed to the dining room to get it clean before the twins awoke.

xoxoxo


	12. Chapter 12

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

Thanks for the reviews.

----------------change--------------------

As anyone who has undertaken a family vacation knows, the destination is never as close as it should be. Despite their planning and provision of supplies to keep the children entertained for the few hours they would be on the road, they were just over an hour into the trip when Lily announced she needed the bathroom. Finding the nearest gas station, Harm pulled in and Mac took Lily to the bathroom while he got the twins out and let them run around in the nearby park.

Not thirty minutes after their first stop, Mac announced she needed the bathroom and Harm bit down on his lip so he wouldn't say the words desperate to get out. Those being, 'Why didn't you go when you took Lily?' If this had occurred when they were merely colleagues, he would have told her to hold it, or suck it up and then he may have relented and pulled over on the roadside and told her to go behind a tree. But this was now, and given her recent issues, and the fact he loved her unconditionally, he simply nodded and looked for the next gas station.

As Mac reappeared, she found Harm trying to placate the twins who he'd left strapped in this time, much to their consternation. Climbing back into the car, Mac turned and handed them each a lemonade ice block and their noise ceased. While this turn of events delighted the children, it didn't impress daddy in the least.

Not only were they eating ice blocks at ten in the morning, they were eating them in his car...the car where he had a strict no eating rule. A rule mommy was definitely ignoring.  
Catching the look of dread on her husband's face, Mac rubbed his arm.

"I'll clean up any mess," she said quietly.  
"Aha," he replied with a curt nod.  
"I bought you your favourite Raspberry Serenade," she said, unwrapping the ice confection and handing it to him.  
"Thanks," he said with a sly smile as he took it. Raspberry Serenades were his favourite and Mac knew she could win almost any argument by producing one. He had to laugh; perhaps Raspberry Serenades were to him what Beltway Burgers were to her.

Once the ice blocks were finished, Mac handed Lily a wet napkin to clean her hands and those of her siblings. Job done, Lily leant forward handing Mac all the trash.  
"Are we there yet?" she asked, scanning the fields around them.  
"Not yet, pumpkin," Harm replied. "About another fifty minutes."  
"Okay," she said with a deep sigh and leant back in her seat.

Twenty minutes later, Harm looked in his rear vision mirror to find all three children asleep. Checking his watch he shook his head; why was it they fell asleep now with thirty odd minutes to go when they could have slept for the last three hours?

Turning in her seat to watch her husband as he took the turn into his grandmother's long driveway, Mac could only smile at the way his face lit up. It was the same sparkling blue eyes and cheeky smile she'd seen on Harry's face not an hour ago when she'd handed him the ice treat. She couldn't help but wonder if that was the look of pure bliss...perhaps it was.

While Mac was full sure her husband loved her desperately, she also knew his grandmother held a very special place in his heart. She was his link to his father, she had been his refuge from life when he was younger and she was the one who cared for him during his recovery from the crash which had killed his RIO and gave him the confidence to face the world once more.

"What?" he asked when he realised he was the sole focus of her attention.  
"You're adorable, do you know that?" she asked as she entwined her fingers with his on the gearstick.  
"Adorable? I don't think so," he said with a chuckle as he shook his head. At 48, with crow's feet around his eyes and more grey strands through his hair than he wanted to admit too, adorable was not the word that came to mind.  
"You are," she said chuckling. "You are more excited than the kids to be here."  
"That wouldn't be hard, they're all asleep," he said, nodding to the backseat.  
"You know what I mean," she said, patting his hand.

Pulling up in front of the old two storey wooden farm house, Harm turned to grin at his wife.  
"I guess I am a little excited," he admitted, pulling on the handbrake.

His gaze at Mac shifted to over her shoulder when he spied something which was out of place. Noticing she no longer had his attention, Mac turned too and smiled when she saw what he was looking at.  
"Surprise!" she said, pointing to Mattie's car. "Thought you might want to make this a true family vacation."  
"Mattie's staying?" he questioned, looking at his wife once more.  
"For about a week," Mac replied. "I spoke to her last week and spoke to Grams and set it up. Thought you deserved something special after all you've done for us."

Leaning in, Harm kissed her tenderly before pulling back slightly. "Have I told you how much I love you?"  
"Not since breakfast," she replied, moving forward and stealing a kiss.  
Without warning, Harm's door flew opened as Mattie had decided she couldn't wait any longer for them to come into the house.

"Surprise!" she shouted, but after looking in the backseat repeated it in a much quieter tone. "Surprise!" Quickly disengaging the seatbelt, Harm climbed out before embracing the young woman in front of him.

Now twenty six, Harm continued to be amazed at her beauty and confidence. Like himself and Mac, Mattie had also had a rough start to life, but with love and support, especially after her accident, she was now thriving. With a business degree under her belt, Mattie was working in a fancy high rise tower in New York taking on the world and all of its challenges.

"It's so good to see you, Mattie," he said, hugging and kissing her. "I've missed you so much."  
"I've missed you guys too," she said, her hands clasping his sweater. "Especially them," she added pointing to her almost siblings in the backseat. "Gee, they've grown so much."  
"That happens when you don't visit for months," he said with a nudge, he knew it was just life being hectic which had kept them apart, there was nothing intentional.

Letting Harm go, Mattie scurried around the vehicle and warmly embraced Mac.  
"Thank you so much for organising this," she said, kissing her cheek.  
"Thank you for coming," Mac replied, pulling back and brushing Mattie's hair from her face. "Love the new look."  
"Thanks, Mac," Mattie replied grinning, "Just thought I'd go a bit shorter..." she added, running her fingers through her locks.  
"And that smile," she teased. "Is that a part of your new look or something...else?" She raised an eyebrow and Mattie couldn't miss the meaning.  
"Well, now, that would be telling," she whispered before kissing Mac once more. "Let's get the munchkins out, Grams is so desperate to see them."

The easiest way to get three sleeping children into a house would be to carry them, and three adults and three children resulted in the perfect match. However, Harm was adamant that Mac not carry anything as heavy as one of their twins, or cases, it had been the doctor's orders.

"Fine," she said with a forced huff. "I'll just take myself in."

Harm chuckled; Mac's charade of being annoyed was just too cute.

Getting the wheelchair from the back, Harm set it up as Mattie retrieved Rose from the back seat. Rose woke up enough to realise it was Mattie and aside from smiling when her big sister hugged her she promptly fell asleep once more.

With Rose out of the way, Harm leant in and woke Lily before pulling her out and settling her into her chair. Sleepily, she connected the belt and it took her a few moments to realise where she was. When the realisation hit she snapped awake, grinning widely.

"Grams!" she called out as she saw the elderly lady appear on the front porch with Mac.

"Lily! Lily! My princess," Sarah called back, taking the four steps down and leaning on Mac as she did. "How's my precious little girl?"

"I broke my ankles, Grams!" she said, pointing to the casts. "They don't hurt though."

Sarah wrapped her great granddaughter in a loving embrace, kissing her head repeatedly. "Well, I guess that means you're going to be stuck helping me in the kitchen."  
"Really?!" Lily asked wide-eyed. "I can still help?"  
"Of course you can," she replied, kissing her head once more. "I'm counting on my best girl helping me bake the chocolate chip cookies and gingerbread men your momma loves."

"Mattie!" Lily exclaimed, spying her oldest sister.

With Lily's attention elsewhere, Sarah turned her attention to her grandson.  
"Well, look at you, Harmon," she said as he wrapped her in his arms. "Finally you come home with your family. It's about time."  
"I know, Grams," he said, kissing her head. "It's been too long."  
"You're a beautiful boy, you know that?" she asked, cupping his face and gazing into his teary blue eyes. "Just like your daddy."  
"Yes, ma'am," he replied proudly. "Just like my daddy. And this one," he said, pulling Harry from the car, "is just like his daddy too."

Harry was awake, leaning sleepily on his dad, his thumb in his mouth. Sarah reached up and pushed the hair from his face revealing the same cool, crystal blue eyes. "Definitely a Rabb," she said, stroking the boy's face.

After the greeting and introductions were complete and the car unloaded, the Rabb family sat around the large wooden dining table for lunch. Lily sat next to her great grandmother putting the final touches to the next batch of cookies which would be dessert. Mattie was holding Harry while Mac held Rose, Harm moved around the table filling the plates with an assortment of fried chicken, salad and freshly baked bread.

Right through the meal, Harm couldn't help but smile; this is what he had been longing for since he was a little kid – a proper family. And while his mother and stepfather weren't with them, they would arrive next week and that thought made his smile even broader. The smile stayed with him all afternoon as he showed the twins the farm and while Lily and Grams got reacquainted.

As the day drew to a close, Harm was still smiling and Mac couldn't help but watch him as he went about the normal evening routine of bathing and preparing their children for bed. To her, he looked younger, happier than she had seen in a long time, not just these past couple of months dealing with her issues but years. She couldn't help but wonder what that all meant. Whether the impact of them both having stressful jobs while raising three children meant that there was no time left for him to indulge in the simple, carefree things, like a visit home.

Once again it drew her thoughts to the recent topic on her mind, that being whether it was time for a lifestyle change; not a seachange like many seemed to do, but a treechange...the farm was a perfect place to raise children.  
"You look pensive, Mac," Harm commented when he turned to find her leaning on the doorjamb. "Everything alright?"  
"Everything's perfect," she said with a smile, kissing him as she padded by to kiss the twins goodnight.  
"You sure?" he checked, pulling her back to him and studying her face.  
"Yeah," she said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Love you."

Rose wanted her hug and kiss from mommy first and Mac obliged, knowing it would take a little longer for Harry to settle. After their exhausting day with a hundred new things to explore, it only took a quick cuddle and kiss from mommy before Rose's eyes were fluttering. Mac smiled as she settled the child at one end of the large wooden crib which had once been her father's and grandfather's.  
Harry wasn't as ready for sleep, at least not without his cuddle from mommy.

When Mac tried to hug him as he was standing at his end of the crib, Harry wasn't impressed.  
"Up, up!" he pleaded.  
"No, baby," she said, caressing his face. "No up from mommy."  
"Mommy, boobie," he cried and started jumping.

For a few minutes, Mac tried to dissuade the child but the more she did, the more distressed the child got and realising she wasn't going to break him of his habit tonight, she picked him up and sat with him in Gram's rocking chair.

Instantly Harry's mood improved as he nestled into his mother and threaded his hand skilfully up her top.  
"You've got to get a new hobby, Harry," she said, gently chastising the tot. "These boobies are not for you, not anymore."

Harm appeared at the door and watched. His first thought was that his wife was right, they were not his son's boobies...they were his...not that he'd ever voice that opinion to his wife.

"Is a genetic thing with you Rabb men...feeling up women?" she asked, caressing Harry's face as he tried to fight sleep.

Harm shook his head, fighting a chuckle. It wasn't genetic...just Mac's impact on them. Then he shook his head once more when he realised his two year old son was getting more action with Mac than he had in a long time.

"Shh, baby boy, go to sleep now," she soothed as the child's eyes finally closed. For another few minutes Mac held the child until she was sure he was sleeping before making a move to put him in the crib.  
"I'll do it," Harm said, still not wanting her to lift.

Picking the child up, Harm kissed his head before securing him at his end of the bed.  
"How long were you standing there?" Mac asked, having been surprised to see him.  
"Long enough to know my son is having more success with women than I am," he said with a half hearted laugh.  
"You poor thing," Mac said, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing into him. "You have been neglected lately, haven't you?"  
"I'll live," he said, leaning down and brushing his lips across hers.  
"I will make it up to you..." Mac promised, raking her fingers through his hair and using the motion to bring his face down to hers so she could control the kiss. "Now if you want." She was as desperate for his touch as he was for hers.  
"Another three weeks...isn't that what Dr Mollison said?" he checked though he knew the answer, he had the date circled in his diary.  
"I won't tell her," Mac whispered conspiratorially.

Harm shook his head; he wasn't jeopardising Mac's recovery no matter how much he wanted her.  
"No?" she said with a pout. "Well, how about we just go to bed and fool around a bit? That worked well during the post pregnancies sex embargos." She grinned, recalling just how much they got up to in the later stages of the six week sex ban without breaking the rules.  
"I could be tempted," he said with a quirk of his eyebrow and quickly pulled Mac back for a deep and very stimulating kiss. Pressing into him and realising his growing interest in the situation Mac pulled back breathless.  
"Ah, before you do that again...and believe me I want you too, I need to remind you that it's only 7:30 and we still have a daughter downstairs to put to bed, not to mention Mattie and your grandmother."  
"Oh, yeah," he said sheepishly. "I kind of forgot."

Mac laughed; her husband was simply adorable. Horny but definitely adorable.

xoxoxo


	13. Chapter 13

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

Thanks for the reviews.

----------------change--------------------

When everyone was bedded down for the night, Harm did a final check of the house, ensuring everything was closed, locked or switched off. Logically, he knew the chances of anyone trying to break in here in the middle of nowhere was remote but looking out for his loved ones was so ingrained that the full inspection needed to be done in order for him to sleep soundly.

Fully satisfied that all was as it should be, Harm grinned to himself as he climbed the stairs. With one last check of his sleeping children, Harm headed back to his bedroom with intense feelings of excitement and anticipation.

That feeling lasted until he opened the door to find Mac had fallen asleep during his 20 minute absence. He could only laugh...it was that or cry.

Realising that this was the first day since she'd been home she hadn't napped, Harm decided that it was in her best interests to let her sleep. It wasn't in his interest but he drew a deep breath, told himself to suck it up and slid in beside her. An arrangement he figured he could cope with until Mac rolled into him and rested her hand low on his bare abdomen.

"If only, Mac....if only."

Feeling refreshed and rested, Mac stirred just after dawn and smiled lazily at her sleeping husband. He was gorgeous...and beautiful...and hers. Hers. The word brought her back to the night before and then the realisation that she had fallen asleep before she could make him hers hit.

"So sorry, Harm," she murmured as she ran a fingertip down the side of her face. "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

Stirring himself, Harm grinned when he felt her lips press gently on her temple.

"Starting something, marine?" he mumbled pulling her closer to him.

"Sorry about last night," she said, trailing kisses down to his lips.

"Let's just worry about now," he replied, as she settled on top of him, her kisses never ceasing.

"Fine by me," she mumbled into his mouth and exploring it for the first time in what felt like forever.

Long, languid kisses were exchanged as Harm ran his hands up under her top and reclaimed what he felt were his. Feeling his fingertips brush over her nipple, Mac arched into him, groaning; it had never felt better.

"Feels so good," she mumbled as his lips pressed hot kisses along the column of her neck. "So...so good."

"Glad I haven't lost my touch," he replied as he pushed one hand into her hair and controlled a deep and endless kiss.

"Sorry it's been so long," she said, moving off to the side in the hope of bringing him onto her.

"No one's fault," Harm replied, resisting her movement.

Studying her husband's face, Mac read his mind. "You won't hurt me," she reassured him, running an arm around to his back and pulling him down.

"You sure?" he checked and smiled when she nodded. "You'll tell me if ..."

"I'll tell you," she promised. "Now, come kiss me."

Skilled in the art of obeying orders, Harm willingly kissed his wife and the two spent time enjoying the intimacy they had both been missing dreadfully.

Although disappointed this encounter wouldn't lead to anything more, both decided just to enjoy the moments for all they were worth and enjoying themselves they were. With both in a very heightened state of arousal, Mac's hand slipped down the front of Harm's boxers but before he could respond a clunking in the hallway followed by a quick knock on the base of the door told them Lily was up.

"Noooo," Mac groaned quietly as she extracted her hand and adjusted her clothes.

"Mommy!" came the call.

"I'll get her," said Harm pulling back the covers but Mac shook her head.

"I think it's much better if I go," she said, glancing down at him. "Don't think now is the time to be explaining....that."

'Oh yeah," Harm replied, a flush coming to his cheeks. "I might just pull these back up." Grabbing the covers he settled into the bed once more.

Opening the door, Mac found Lily sitting by the door jamb waiting patiently.

"Lily, honey, you're up very early," Mac said, crouching down and kissing her daughter's head. "Something wrong?"

"No, mom, but it's time to collect the eggs. Grams says you do it at dawn and it's after dawn," she said, pointing to the light coming in from a nearby window.

"Well, I'm sure the chickens won't mind us being a little late on our first day of vacation, do you?" Mac asked hopefully. She really didn't feel like an outside trip at the moment.

"Guess not," Lily replied, then her face lit up. "Can I come into your bed until we can go?"

Several moments passed before Mac had her answer. "Daddy's still asleep and he we really don't want to disturb him."

"Then can you come into my bed with me?" Lily asked and, when Mac nodded, Lily crawled away. Mac sighed. Lily was not quite the bed companion she wanted but for the sake of Harm and the privacy he needed, she'd make the sacrifice.

When finally ready to face the world, Harm got up, showered and dressed before searching out his wife and wasn't surprised to find her curled up in bed with their daughter who was sleeping once more.

"Looks like you got a better offer," he whispered from the door and Mac smiled at him.

"Rather it was you," she whispered in reply.

"Me too," he said with a wink. "How about I go start breakfast?"

"Sounds good to me," she replied, her stomach grumbling.

"Call me when Miss Lily wants to get up," he said before he disappeared down the stairs.

"Well, Miss Lily," Mac whispered to the sleeping child. "Is there a reason you couldn't have stayed asleep a little bit longer? Hey?"

Lily mumbled and snuggled in closer and all Mac could do was kiss her head and sigh.

The first few days at the farm flew by with so much to do and catch up on. Lily was a permanent fixture by Grams' side while Harry shadowed his father around the farm 'helping' with the chores. Rose, not wanting to miss out on anything split her time between all of the adults. Mattie and Mac spent the afternoons on the porch drinking tea and munching on Grams' cookies. Whilst Mattie would rather be exploring the farm and riding the horses, she dutifully obeyed Gram's instruction to keep Mac company, knowing her granddaughter-in-law would never sit around willingly.

It was their Thursday afternoon chat which gave Mac the insight into Mattie's new sense of joy. With the aroma of gingerbread coming from the kitchen which accompanied their conversation, Mac sat on the sofa on the porch, her legs tucked under her, watching Harm and the twins exploring the distant fields. Mattie handed her a cup of tea and sat on the end of the sofa with her own.

"Grams still got you babysitting me?" Mac asked as Mattie looked out to see what she was looking at.

"Is it that obvious?" Mattie asked with a smile.

"Well, I know afternoon teas aren't really your thing and this is your fourth in as many days," she observed, setting her cup down on the floor.

"I don't mind," Mattie said, leaning back on the arm and bringing her feet up to the cushion. "When I was little mom and I used to do it on Sundays...but you know, things change."

"Yes, they do," she acknowledged. Her life had changed so much since her younger years that quite often Mac considered her whole past as another lifetime.

"But I like it...with you," she replied shyly. "I mean I know you're not my mom – mom, but I do think of yourself as my mom."

Mac smiled broadly. "Well, you have to know that Harm and I think of you as our daughter."

"Oh, I know Harm does...always has. I guess, I wasn't always so sure that you did too or whether I was just part of the package with Harm," Mattie admitted honestly.

"Well, at first you were," Mac acknowledged. "But that was a long time ago...a very long time ago."

"Good," she said nodding her head. "So, do you think you and I could have a mother-daughter conversation?"

"Of course, Mats, what do you want to talk about?" she asked, picking up her cup once more, allowing the young woman to get her thoughts together.

Drawing a deep breath, Mattie stood up and walked to the post and leant on it, facing Mac.

"You asked about the smile when you arrived and I sort of indicated there was something," she said in a rush of breath. "And there is..."

Mac remembered the emails and phones calls from Mattie in recent months about this man; Colin Bates. Mattie had told them that he was from Iowa originally. He was 30 and gorgeous.

"It's alright, Mattie, you can breathe," said Mac with a gentle smile.

Mattie laughed and took a couple of calming breaths before starting once more.

"Well, Colin and I have been dating for a while now...and he keeps asking about my family and all he knows is what I've told him about you guys... I gave him a brief rundown on mom and dad and explained you all were my family...." she said, looking shyly up at Mac. "Last week, we decided to move in together and I figured if I was going to take such a big step then it was only right that he got to meet you. Do you think that will be alright?"

"Of course it's alright, honey!" Mac said scrambling to her feet and hugging the nervous young woman. "We'd love to finally meet Colin."

"He can't come out this week, but I thought that maybe if you can stay here three weeks instead of two, we'd be able to come for a few days that week. Colin would love this place. He's happy and all in New York but he's a country boy at heart and definitely prefers fields to skyscrapers," she said, her eyes glazing over as she thought about the man who'd stolen her heart.

"I'm sure we can arrange it," Mac said, hugging her once more. "And Harm will be very pleased...he's been going to ask about it for a while now."

"He won't get all Neanderthal and threatening, will he?" Mattie asked gritting her teeth, memories of him meeting her first DC boyfriend springing to mind.

"Well, I can't promise anything, Mats, but I will do my best to keep the Neanderthal side in check."

That night when everyone was bedded down once more, Mac nestled into Harm and sighed contentedly. Life was good. Life was happy. Life was...

"Mac?" Harm asked, obviously expecting an answer.

"Huh?" she asked sleepily, tipping her head up.

"I asked you if you've been having a good time here?" he repeated, raking his fingers through her hair.

"A wonderful time," she purred, leaning in and kissing his chest.

"I'm glad," he said, kissing her head.

"Can we stay a week longer?" she asked, looking up at him once more.

"Really?" For as long as he had known her, Mac had never seemed like the country type.

"Yeah...I called Peterson and he said I could have as much time as I needed and then I called Cresswell and he said you could take another week...So...if you want to...we can," she rambled, pressing into him.

"I'd like that," he replied, leaning down and kissing her softly. "Any reason for staying I should know about?"

In the darkness, Mac explained the conversation with Mattie and how they would get to meet Colin and how it would make the family vacation complete. Harm had agreed and though he said little, Mac could hear the cogs in his brain turning over.

"And you are not to misbehave when he is here," Mac warmed gently.

"Me? I'll be the perfect father," he said confidently.

"You'd better be because any sign of Neanderthal Harm and your daughter and I will kill you," she said with a smirk.

"I consider myself warned, ma'am," he said, kissing her head once more.

Suitably cautioned, Harm decided to recommence bedroom activities in a manner he deemed most appropriate and to Mac's surprise he disappeared under the covers to explore her body...something she did not resist in the least. Not when he kissed up and down her legs, not when he trailed kisses around her bellybutton, not when he moved up and claimed her left nipple on his mouth... Only when he moved to pay the right equal attention did she resist – alas, it coincided with Rose's pained crying.

Deciding it was dark and late and he could risk it, Harm threw on shirt and headed to the opposite bedroom, the one housing his three children.

"Rosie, Rose...ssh, daddy's here," he whispered, picking up the distressed toddler and cradling her. The movement caused the child further distress and she cried louder.

"C'mon, baby," he said, retreating with her back to his room lest the other two wake. "Sshh, Rosie, shh."

All of Harm's 'daddy' techniques failed to soothe the child and soon Mac took over, cradling the child to her while she reclined in the bed.

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked, not expecting a reply. "Hey? Have you got a pain?" Feeling the child's forehead, she established there was no fever. Pressing gently on Rose's stomach resulted in a screeching yell and Mac had her answer. "You've got a pain in your tummy, baby," she whispered, kissing the child. "It's okay, mommy will make it better."

Mommy didn't have much of a chance to do anything before Rose's pain decided to relieve itself in the form of a full and messy diaper. The smell alone made Mac's eyes water.

"Oh, Rose," she said, caressing the reddened, damp cheeks. "Don't cry, baby."

Before she could placate the child, the noise emanating from the bundle in her arms told Mac this was more than just a simple pain.

Three full diapers in less than twenty minutes and a still distressed child took a tandem effort from Harm and Mac to keep matters under control. When things appeared to settle, Harm went downstairs to prepare a drink and mashed banana for his daughter in the hope it would help alleviate her problems. Returning ten minutes later, Harm sat on the bed facing Mac and Rose and offered her a spoonful of banana...something Rose resisted.

Switching plans, he handed Mac the bottle of flat lemonade to try and keep the child hydrated. Reluctantly, Rose suckled on the bottle, grimacing when the cold contents hit her stomach. With unfailing hugs and kisses from mommy and daddy gently rubbing her arm and leg, Rose settled and her little eyes fluttered shut.

"Think that's the end of it?" Mac whispered, her arm feeling heavy under her daughter.

"Hope so," Harm sighed. Last thing they needed was a gastro outbreak, it would definitely spoil the carefree vacation buzz they had going.

Twenty minutes later Rose awoke once more and this time she ate some of the mashed banana and took more of her drink. After another diaper change, Mac settled the toddler in the middle of her bed and lay down with her.  
"Really hope you haven't shared this with anyone, kiddo," she said, kissing the child's head and sighing deeply. Her kids really did have a poor sense of timing...something definitely inherited from their father.

xoxoxo


	14. Chapter 14

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

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Toddlers love to share and so the next few days saw a siege at Grams' farm. While Rose was improving, Harry and then Lily succumbed to the tummy bug and it was all hands on deck. Mattie did a couple of runs into town to pick up more and more packs of diapers and a list of food Grams had recommended. Grams manned the kitchen to make an endless supply of mashed banana and grated apple and rice. Harm and Mac did the endless bathroom runs and diaper changes, the twins being easier to deal with than Lily. By the time she realised she needed to go, and Harm got to her, and got to the bathroom, it was too late on several occasions, leading to a very embarrassed young girl and another mess to clean.

It was three days before the end seemed to be insight; just as Mattie was leaving and Trish and Frank were arriving.

"You look exhausted, dear." Were Trish's first words to her son as he stood from the sofa where he'd just been snoozing.

"Been a rough few days, mom. It's good to see you," he added, kissing her. "You too, Frank," he said shaking the man's outstretched hand.

"Are you winning the battle?" Frank asked, nodding towards a lethargic Lily who was watching the goings on from the end of the sofa.

"Yeah, I think we are," he said with a deep sigh. "Aren't we, pumpkin?" Lily said nothing but smiled wearily at her father.

After all the greetings were exchanged and Frank and Trish's cases were put into the study, Trish ordered everyone to bed.

"Mom, it's two in the afternoon, it's a bit early for bed," he said before fighting off a yawn.

"Well, my guess is the twins are napping, Lily looks like she could do with a rest and you two..." she said, taking both Harm and Mac by their arms. "Are absolutely exhausted...so now your mom's here, I am sending you to bed and ...don't protest..." she said, holding up a hand as Harm went to speak. "Bed."

Glad for permission to go to bed, Harm carried Lily upstairs and settled her in bed whilst Mac was in the bathroom. Upon his return to their bedroom, Harm was concerned Mac was still yet to return. He gave her five more minutes, then another five and then decided to go check on her, thinking she may have succumbed to the same bug.

"Honey, are you okay" he asked after rapping softly on the bathroom door.

"Aha," she replied and Harm wasn't convinced in the least.

"Mac, honey, what's up?" he asked, resisting the urge to open the door and check for himself.

A minute later Mac opened the door with red rimmed eyes.

"I'm okay," she said as he wrapped her in an embrace. "Really, I am."

"For someone who's okay, you look a little upset to me," he commented as he led her back to the bedroom.

"I'm just tired..." she said, climbing into bed. "And emotional," she added, tilting her head and hoping he'd get the meaning.

"Oh," he said with a sympathetic smile before crawling in with her. "How's it going?"

"Better than the last few," she said, snuggling into him.

"You'll tell me if you have any pain or problems, won't you? We promised Dr Mollison," he said, massaging her back.

"You mean you promised," she reminded him, sniffling into his top.

"Yes, I promised," he said, kissing her head. "I am not letting things get to the stage they were again, Mac. Okay?"

"Aha," she replied as fresh tears fell.

The truth was she wasn't that emotional due to her hormones it was due more to the fear of actually having her period again...the last time had been totally devastating, not to mention excruciating.

"Love you." Were the last words she heard before drifting off to sleep.

With Trish and Frank in residence, the pressure was taken off Harm and Mac to cater for their children as the grandparents insisted on spending as much time with the little ones as they could.

With Grams ensconced in the kitchen with Lily and the twins being entertained by their grandparents, Harm suggested to Mac that they sneak out the back and take a walk, just the two of them. Mac quickly agreed and with great stealth let Grams know their plans without alerting Lily.

Walking out through the yard, Harm slipped his hand into Mac's before he lifted it and kissed it. Promising to show her something special, Harm led the way down through the fields and to a gathering of trees Mac could see from afar.

"What makes it so special?" she asked, winding his arm around her shoulders and nestling into him.

"You'll see," he replied and Mac knew the cheeky smile was on his face without looking.

"You love it here, don't you?" she asked, wondering when the best time to share her thoughts about making this a more permanent thing.

"With all my heart," he replied almost embarrassed, after all he was a sailor – fighter pilot – lawyer used to the hustle and bustle and adrenaline inducing activities and the farm wasn't exactly a substitute for flying tomcats.

Mac let out a deep sigh as she contemplated matters.

"Are you okay?" he asked, stopping suddenly. "Is this too much? Do you want to go back? Do you need a rest?"

"Do I get to answer?" Mac asked, reaching up and caressing his concerned face.

"Sorry," he replied, putting on his best puppy dog look to gain her forgiveness.

"I'm fine. It's not too much, I don't want to go back and I don't need a rest," she said in quick succession.

When Harm accepted her answers and started walking once more, Mac decided to just go for it.

"When I said I don't want to go back..." she began and Harm stopped suddenly again, more than prepared to lift her up and carry her all the way back to the house if need be.

"Okay, we can turn now..." Harm interjected, but Mac shook her head and continued towards their original destination.

"What I meant was when I said I didn't want to go back...I wasn't necessarily talking about the farmhouse..." she said quietly and kept walking despite Harm tugging on her arm to stop.

"My parents aren't that bad," he said, misunderstanding her. "I know they can be..."

"No, I meant going back home...to DC...I don't know if I want to go back to our home," she said and this time she did stop.

"You don't want to go home? To our place? Why?" he asked more than concerned before resting his hands on her shoulders. "What's going on? Where do you want to go? Do you want to leave me?"

"Shh, shh," she soothed hearing the panic rising in his voice. "The only place I am ever going to be truly happy is with you...wherever that is, okay?" He nodded. "So, stop panicking."

"I wasn't," he protested weakly.

"I've just been thinking that maybe we've spent too long working too hard and perhaps it's time for us to rethink that," she said, taking his hand and walking along once more.

"You think we should retire?" he asked, somewhat surprised at the turn of the conversation.

"Yes, I think we should," she replied, with growing conviction.

"And what sort of move did you have in mind?" he asked, interested to see where her thoughts had taken her.

"I was thinking of...ah...well, I sort of thought that perhaps...." her voice trailed and Harm's curiosity got the best of him and he pulled her back to him.

"Mac?" It was just her name but the question in it was loud and clear.

"Here...I was thinking we should move here...to the farm...if it's alright with Grams of course," she added quickly.

"Here?" he echoed, studying her face. "Really? You'd move here?"

"I think between our jobs and the other pressures of life in the city that we're missing out on some really special times with the kids. We both agreed that having them so late was a reward for having worked so hard and we should spend the rest of time together raising them...loving them..." she said, recalling one of their previous conversations. "I just figured that this place would be ideal."

"Wow!" he replied, quite stunned. Sure it had been a dream of his to return here with a family and take over the property but he never imagined Mac would be the one to broach the subject...nor did he think she'd willingly live out here...this was a surprise on so many levels.

"Wow, good or wow, something else?" she questioned, not quite able to get a clear read on his feelings.

"Wow, good...definitely good," he replied, a broad smile taking over his face. "What would be do though? Work wise?"

"Well, there's an airfield a few miles from here, you could do something with that. Or, you can run the farm...you know, a few more animals, a few crops..." she said, quietly, tugging him along.

"What about you?" he asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders before kissing her head.

"Well, I could work the farm too...maybe get part time work somewhere...there's the college two towns over, I'm sure they do something in the legal field...or maybe home school the kids at least for their elementary years...I don't know...what do you think?" she asked, her thoughts still a little scrambled at the possibilities.

"I think it's an amazing idea and certainly doable," he said, nodding his head with greater confidence. "So, how do we go about this?"

"Well, we know it will take time to wind up our positions, and I guess the biggest thing would be talking to Grams. And I think maybe that's something you could do on your own, if you wanted too... you know, so she doesn't feel double teamed," Mac said, bracing herself on Harm as they stepped down a slight drop.

"Okay, I can do that," he agreed before explaining that he'd leave it a couple of days in order to get his head around it, to give Mac some time to think things through and so it didn't spoil his parents time with them if it didn't all work out. Mac agreed.

"Wow!" Mac mumbled as she came to a stop amid the trees and saw the picturesque view of a small stream trickling over rocks nestled in a haven of green, luscious trees.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Harm said, grinning widely.

"Oh, it is, Harm," she agreed. It was the most beautiful view she'd seen in a long time. "Just gorgeous."

"I used to come here and fish with my dad when I was little, we'd sit on that rock there," he said, pointing to a large rock. "And Grams would pack us a special lunch..."

"Did you catch anything?" she asked, moving to sit on the rock.

"Usually not," Harm said, eyes glazing at the precious moments spent with his dad. "But it never mattered." He sat down beside her, and took her hand, before moving it to a spot in the middle of the rock. "Last time we were here, dad etched that..."

Looking down, Mac saw the faded 40 odd year old scratching. In scrawling script it read: 'Rabb: father and son 19...' The year was too worn but it didn't matter, Harm knew when it had been, the memory still quite vivid despite the passage of time.

"How come you've never brought me down here before?" she asked, nestling into him and looking out over the stream.

"I don't know..." he said shyly. "Lily was a handful last time we were here and I didn't want to leave her with Grams...and before that...I just don't know. Sorry!"

"No need to apologise," she said, kissing his cheek. Mac, above all, knew what it took to reveal the most intimate parts of her childhood...some of which were still hidden from her husband. She couldn't fault him for having his secrets too.

Over the next few days, Mac and Harm had clandestine discussions, usually in their bedroom in the dark of the night, about the possibilities of making this a permanent arrangement. Harm's head and heart filled with possibilities and scenarios for making the farm a going concern. He could see himself ploughing the fields, teaching the kids how to ride, maybe building a hangar and converting the rear fields to an air strip. He could see Mac sitting on the porch with Lily by her side having one of their many discussions. He could see himself pottering about the kitchen, knowing even with the move Mac still wouldn't feel very at home in a kitchen – it just wasn't her thing. He wondered if she realised there was no such thing as fast food delivery out here...and the nearest Chinese restaurant was 50 miles away.

"You're very contemplative, son," Grams observed when she found Harm in the kitchen early one morning. "Something on your mind?"

"Morning, Grams, I was just thinking..." he said wistfully as he mixed the pancake batter.

"What were you thinking of?" she asked, taking out the heavy pan.

"How are you coping here?" he asked, pausing from his task to watch his grandmother. "I mean it's a huge place and ..."

"And I'm not as young as I used to be?" she offered and Harm nodded. "Well, that's something I wanted to discuss with you."

The batter was abandoned as Grams poured them both a coffee and gestured to the porch. Dutifully, Harm went with her and took his cup as he held the door open for her.

When they were seated, Grams took a sip of coffee and looked out to the fields, still partially concealed by the slow to rise sun.

"I've lived here for seventy one year's last spring," Sarah said slowly. "And alone for way too long...but I manage...or rather I managed...it's all getting a little hard now." Slowly she took another sip. "It's something I wanted to talk to you about..."

"What do you need, Grams?" he asked, an overwhelming sensation growing in his stomach.

"This place has been in the Rabb family since they first settled in the US...With young Harry, it's seen six generations of Rabb men...but I won't be here forever and I don't really know what to do. The property goes to you... in my will...but I don't want to burden you with it...It's a long time since it was at its peak and it would take a lot of work, something you can't do from DC. I had an offer a month back from a Steve Wyatt and I'm thinking that maybe it's something we should consider. He's offered a good price...you could use the money to do whatever you want..." Sarah said, her voice shaky with age, her confidence still intact.

"Well...Grams..." Harm began slowly and then decided it was the perfect time to lay out the details of his and Mac's recent discussions. When he finally looked up at her, tears were streaming down her face.

"You've made an old woman very happy, Harmon," she said, patting his hand. "I can die happy now."

"Not for a long time yet, Grams..." he said, kissing the old woman. "Not for a long time yet."

xoxoxo


	15. Chapter 15

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

Sleeping in for the first time in a long time, Mac was surprised that it was already nine before she opened her eyes. She couldn't remember the last time she had stayed in bed so long...alone. Listening, Mac could hear an abundance of noise downstairs and she soon realised that everyone but she was up. Showering and dressing quickly, Mac padded down the stairs only to be met by Harm who was making his way up to her.

"I was coming to check on my sleeping beauty," he said, standing on the step below hers and wrapping his arms around her waist. "How are you this morning, gorgeous?"

"I'm feeling good," she said, leaning forward to kiss him briefly. "Can't believe I slept so long...sorry!"

"You must have needed it, so please don't apologise," he said, stretching up for a kiss of his own.

"Yeah, but..." she began to protest but Harm silenced her with another kiss.

"No 'buts'," he said firmly. "You're tired, you'll sleep...we're not going down the same path again, okay?" Mac went to protest again but Harm just quirked an eyebrow. "Okay?"

Slowly Mac nodded. There was no way she wanted to be treated with kid gloves; after all, she was a strong and independent marine. However, even she had to concede that her condition not only impacted her but the whole family and Harm had not only been amazingly supportive but had kept family life going for the kids. Agreeing with him was the least she could do.

"Okay," she replied, threading her arms around his neck and hugging him. "Okay."

When she finally reached the foot of the stairs, Mac was ambushed by the twins overly excited to see their mom. Grabbing onto one leg each, the twins were chattering away and Mac had no idea what they were going on about. Eventually, she made it to a kitchen chair and sat down, only to have the twins try to clamber on her. When she went to pick Harry up, Harm gave a disapproving cough before picking up the child and depositing him on her knee and then doing the same with Rose. Mac just shook her head frustrated; she was feeling so much better and even Dr Mollison had said she could resume normal physical activities about now...she would need to discuss this with Harm before it got out of hand.

Any conversation she was going to have with her husband was usurped by the news that Harm, Frank and the kids were setting off for an outing in the next ten minutes and Mac wasn't going...which was news to her. The men had decided to visit a nearby town's miniature railway and while they would take the girls, it was not for women.

Whilst Harm appeared unconcerned as he informed Mac of his plans, he was putting on an act. The truth was his mother had ordered the men out of the house for the day and informed them that they needed to take the children. Trish had decided this was the perfect day for a little mother-daughter time for Mac and knowing he had already agreed to this during their phone call weeks ago Harm had been left with no choice but to consent...even if he was left to face an unhappy wife.

Not wanting to create a scene in front of the family, Mac had kissed the children and Frank goodbye. As she rounded the car to see her husband, he gritted his teeth. If looks could kill, they'd be calling time of death on him about now.

"We will discuss this when you get back!" she hissed when she leant in on the pretext of kissing his cheek.

"Sure," Harm replied, knowing or rather hoping she'd be in a more forgiving mood when his mother explained things.

"I am not happy at all with this," she added, glancing into the backseat to check on the children.

"I can tell," he replied. Harm made a move forward to actually kiss his wife but when she glared at him, Harm retreated for his own safety. "Bye, Mac."

Still annoyed with her husband, Mac skipped breakfast and settled for a coffee out on the porch thinking of all the ways she could kill him and hide the body. There was a cool breeze playing across her face and the clear blue sky gave testament to the beautiful day forecasted by the weatherman...Beautiful everywhere but right here, given her mood.

"I wouldn't be too mad with Harm," Trish said, breaking Mac from her thoughts. "It was my idea to get rid of them all for the day." She handed Mac a plate of toast with honey.

"What?" Mac said, rather surprised by her mother-in-law's admission.

"I packed them off for the day to give us some uninterrupted time," Trish replied, taking a seat alongside her.

An unexpected nervousness grew within Mac. This wasn't normal. It wasn't right. Trish had never spent any real time with Mac, not without Harm or the kids being present. Swallowing hard, she glanced up at the woman beside her.

"Why?" she asked in a voice weaker than she would have liked.

"Because we need to talk," she replied and Mac's nerves grew exponentially. Those words never leaded to anything good.

"About?" she asked with a cough to try and dislodge the lump which had taken up residence in her throat.

"How are you doing, Sarah?" Trish asked, patting her hand. "How are you really doing with everything?"

"I'm doing fine, thank you, Trish," Mac replied, taking another sip of coffee.

"That's the stock standard answer and you are quite convincing, but I'm a mother and you're not fooling me, honey, so let's try again," she said warmly.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," Mac replied as Sarah came and sat in the armchair a little to her right.

"What Trish means..." Sarah began quietly. "Is that you've had a very rough time lately. You only had your surgery three weeks ago and you are still facing the possibility of a hysterectomy. So, you'll forgive us for not believing that you are as fine as you want us to believe."

Mac was stunned by the forthright nature of the conversation. Only Harm had ever been so blunt with her and now she knew where he got it from.

Before she could formulate an answer, Trish continued. "Honey, Sarah and I have both been where you are now. Facing the change of life and not knowing what it would mean. I was 53 when I had my hysterectomy and even though I knew it was for the best I think I cried for three months. Poor Frank didn't know what to do."

Sarah took up the story. "I had my last period Memorial weekend 1968 and I was relieved... after all my childbearing days had ended years before and I was happy to be done with it. It wasn't until three months later, when I realised it was done that it hit me...it was over, I was officially old. I shed my share of tears, I felt I was just an old lady and my life was done..." Sarah trailed for a moment to collect herself. "But you know something, honey?" she said to Mac. "That was when you were still in diapers and my life, since then, has been amazing. It seems like the end but it's not, it's just the beginning of a new chapter."

For a few moments Mac sat quietly not quite knowing what to say. No one had ever spoken to her like this, never been so openly honest about the female side of life. She'd never had close female friends and while there was Harriet whom she loved dearly, and who had been a godsend during her pregnancies, they had never talked about these things either. It was then it hit her. This is what it would have been like to have had a mother who cared enough to stick around and then the tears started.

Quickly, Trish took the mug from Mac's hands and placed it on the ground before scooting across and embracing her. Mac rested her head on Trish's shoulder as she sobbed. The tears were not just for the whole situation with her endometriosis but for all the pain she'd ever bottled up inside her in regards to her mother as well. For years she had longed for the type of relationship she was establishing with Lily and it was right in front of her all along. The women with her may have been Harm's mother and grandmother but they loved her like she was their own and it finally sunk in to Mac's addled brain that they were hers as well.

Meanwhile, Harm, Frank and the kids had spent the morning looking at the miniature railways and though the mechanics were of great interest to the men, the twins were bored after the first twenty minutes; after all, if it wasn't Thomas the Tank then it really wasn't worth it. Lily lasted a little longer but even she sighed wearily after half an hour, one train seemed just like the next.

Deciding that an early lunch may pep them up a bit, Harm set out the picnic blanket and food as Frank supervised the twins on the nearby playground. Lily sat in her chair waiting patiently, looking from her father to grandfather.

"What's up, pumpkin?" Harm asked, unbuckling Lily's belt and lifting her out. "You seem a little distracted."

"I was just thinking, dad," she said as he placed her on the corner of the blanket.

"About what?" he asked, handing her a bottle of water.

"Why do we call grandpa grandpa but you call him Frank?" she asked, looking over to the man in question.

"Well, Frank's my stepdad, you know that?" Harm said, surprised by her observation.

"Yeah, I know. Your dad went missing when you were little and then died and we go visit him at the wall," she said in one breath. "But how come we can't call him Frank?"

"Because ..." Harm started and then couldn't think of how to answer it. The truth was if he wasn't prepared to call the man who'd been more of a father to him than the man who gave him life dad, then he really couldn't expect his children to do the same."

"Because what, daddy?" she asked insistently.

Without an answer to give, Harm changed tactics. "Would it make you feel better if I called him dad?"

"Guess so," she replied. Lily shook her head; she really didn't understand the way adults thought.

Soon, Frank and the twins came running over for lunch, the energetic duo easily outrunning the man who'd be seventy three on his next birthday.

"They're a handful, Harm," Frank said, collapsing next to Lily. "Glad there was only one of you."

"They can be..." he said slowly adding "dad," at the end.

Frank look at him curiously. He'd known the younger man 35 years and never once had that particular three letter word been directed at him.

Harm chanced a glance over and saw the tears well in Frank's eyes. "You don't mind, do you?" he asked, knowing full sure that Frank would know what he meant.

"Not at all, son," he replied, a broad grin sweeping his face. "Not at all."

Lunch was noisy and messy and before Harm was even half way through his, Harry declared he was finished and wanted the 'twain'.

"You'll have to wait for the train ride, Harry," Harm said, "We're still eating lunch."

"Twain, twain," he chanted and Harm shook his head. The child would learn patience if it was the last thing Harm achieved.

"Harry, you have to wait," he said firmly. "Daddy and Lily are still eating.

For a moment Harry considered his father's words and then changed his mind. "Slide, grandpa...slide..."

Having finished his lunch, Frank agreed and set off to the playground once more, holding Harry's hand firmly, lest the child run too far ahead.

"Me too, grandpa," Rose screamed and Frank stopped and turned to wait for the curly haired tot to catch them.

"You want to go too, pumpkin?" Harm asked Lily who was playing with her food.

"No, thanks, dad," she said with a sigh. "Not much fun with these."

Quickly packing up the remnants of lunch, Harm pulled his daughter to him and sat her between his legs so she could lean back on him. For a while she was content to just rest there with her dad and watch her grandpa and siblings play and then something struck her.

"Dad," she started, craning her neck to see him. "You know how Grams and grandpa and grandma and Mattie are all your family?" Harm nodded. "How come we never go visit mommy's family?"

For the second time in an hour, Harm didn't know what to say. He knew they hadn't told Lily about Mac's parents because it had never come up before and now it had, and the fact that he knew Mac always wanted to be honest with the child, he knew he needed to answer. Deciding that delaying the response until later so Mac could answer was the way to go, Harm replied. "How about we talk about this with mommy tonight?"

Lily sighed deeply, not really impressed by the response.

"What it is?" Harm asked.

"Well, mommy won't tell me," she said with another sigh.

"Why won't she?" he asked shifting around to be face to face with his daughter.

"She said ages ago she'd tell me about babies and she still hasn't," Lily replied. "So, she probably won't tell me this either."

"I can tell you about babies," Harm said inwardly cringing. "If you want," he added hastily.

"Do dads know about those things?" Lily asked wide eyed.

"Yes, they do," Harm said with a quick nod.

"Well, I guess that would be okay, daddy. You tell me and then mommy can tell me anything you get wrong," she said, not quite trusting that a boy could know all about uteruses and babies and things.

"Well," Harm began slowly. "What exactly do you want to know?" he asked, hoping it was something easy, like ... like....he didn't know any question which would be easy.

"How do babies get into the uterus, dad?" she asked, her face full of expectation. "And when they're in, how do they get out?"

Harm took a deep breath and fought the desire to run off screaming into the nearby woods.

xoxoxo

**AN: I'll make you a deal... if you all kindly read and review quickly...I can post the next chapter which includes 'the talk' on the weekend!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

This chapter, on this day, is dedicated to all those we lost, who are suffering or who were courageous in the face of the horrors of Black Saturday a year ago today. xox

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The silence in park was punctuated by the distant squeals of Harry and Rose and the overhead squawking of a variety of small birds.

"If you really don't know, just say so, daddy," Lily said finally as she studied the look of concentration on her father's face.

"I know, Lily," he said quickly and defensively.

"Then how does it happen?" she asked, raising her eyebrows and looking more and more like her mother with each passing moment.

"Well," he began, as he prayed for courage to do this. "It's called making love and it happens when a man and a woman love each other very much..." So far so good, he thought. "When they decide to have a baby they get into bed because it's nice and comfortable..." Although there were also 101 other places he decided the child didn't need to know that – ever. "Well, the man and the woman don't have any clothes on and they start by hugging and kissing and some other things because it feels nice."

"And then?" Lily asked impatiently.

"Well..." God, help me, Harm thought as he drew a deep breath. "You know how boys and girls have special parts?"

"Yeah, boys have a penis like you and Harry and girls have vaginas like mommy and me and Rose," she said matter-of-factly and Harm was grateful Mac had explained the difference.

"Well, when the man is ready he lies on top of the woman and his penis fits into the vagina," he said, feeling a flush rise up his neck and into his face.

"How? I mean it's all small and floppy...well, Harry's is," she said and Harm wanted the earth to open and swallow him whole.

"Well, the penis gets bigger as boys become men and when they are in bed with a woman it gets bigger still and gets hard and stands up...so that way it slides in," he explained and willed his heart to keep beating.

"So, is that it?" Lily asked less than impressed.

"Well, the man and woman move around a bit and kiss some more and when it's the right time the sperm comes out of the man and goes up into the woman's uterus and if it's the right time, it meets an egg and fertilises it, and that's how a baby's life begins," he said, drawing a deep breath and hoping this inquisition was over. He'd feel more comfortable in front of his own court martial...or firing squad.

"How do you get twins?" she asked, looking to her siblings.

"Well, sometimes the fertilised egg splits in two and you get identical twins and sometimes two eggs are fertilised and you get fraternal twins, like Rose and Harry," he explained, happier that he was in safer territory.

"And like Nikki and Michael?" she asked and Harm nodded before taking a long drink. "What happens if there's no egg?"

"Well, if there's no egg then there's no baby," he explained, pulling at the label on his bottle.

"Why would you make love then if there was no egg? What's the point?" she asked with a shake of her head. It all seemed a bit too much for her.

"Well, sometimes men and women make love because it's a nice thing to do...not just because they want a baby," he said, his eyes dodging his daughter's.

"What's so nice about it?" she questioned. "I mean it seems gross that you'd have to let a boy get that close to you...all those germs."

"You just keep thinking that, Lily," he said, adding a 'please' in his head. He never wanted to think of his little girl having sex with anyone – not ever.

For a few minutes Lily seemed content and Harm started breathing normally again. And then she spoke once more.

"So, how does the baby get out?" she asked. "Mommy's tummy was so big with the twins and I know she had to go to hospital to have them but how did they actually get out?"

"Well, when the baby is ready the mommy goes into labour and ..." he began.

"Oh, I remember mommy being in labour at home and she was screaming at you," she said and Harm nodded. "And she called you naughty words."

"That's right," he said, "And anyway, when a mommy gets to the hospital she goes into a special room called the delivery suite and that's where babies are delivered."

"So, how do they get out?" Lily asked impatiently.

"Well, It's pretty much the same way as they get in. The baby moves down the vagina and out through the mommy's legs," he said, his eyes scanning the distance.

"Ouch!" said Lily.

Harm laughed. Very ouch indeed.

When Frank and the twins started their way back, Harm reminded Lily that these conversations, just like the one about periods, were between a child and their parents and she wasn't to tell her friends, that was their parents' job.

Back at the farm, Mac had pulled herself together and the three women had continued chatting until midafternoon when Trish suggested they move inside and actually get something to eat. Soon all three were seated at the kitchen table, with left over dishes of salads, vegetables, lasagne and chicken in front of them.

The conversation was light and Mac felt a strong sense of kinship she had never experienced before. The women chatted amiably about life, children, what it was to be a woman over the generations. They chatted about the men in their lives, especially those who had left too soon. And it all reminded Mac how truly fortunate she'd been that her Rabb man came back to her – it could have all been so different had he not returned that Christmas she was pregnant with the twins.

The memories of that Christmas, coupled with the emotions of the day and the fact she had been so mad at Harm she hadn't kissed him goodbye that morning, caused her tears to fall once more.

"Hey, hey, Sarah," Trish said, wrapping an arm around her once more. "You're really in a way, aren't you, darling?" Mac sniffled, trying to get herself together.

"Well," Sarah said, pointing out the kitchen window. "If you want some time to yourself, you best head upstairs and we'll say you're napping." Mac looked out the window in time to see their vehicle coming up the driveway.

Mac agreed. While she wanted to see her kids and husband she didn't want them to see her while she was in this state – it was just too hard.

Lying face down on her bed Mac listened as the house erupted in noise and she couldn't help but smile at the happy sounds which drifted upstairs. For a few minutes she practised her deep breathing and willed her emotions to settle. It was successful until she heard the heavy footfalls on the stairs and knew it was her husband coming to check on her.

Quietly, Harm opened the door not wanting to disturb her if she was asleep. He didn't need to worry as his wife launched herself at him the moment the door was open.

"Hey, hey," he soothed, kicking the door closed behind him as his arms came up to support Mac who'd wrapped her arms around his neck and whose feet were dangling above the floorboards.

"Mac, gorgeous, what is it? What's wrong?" he asked, trying to pull back but not being successful due to the vice like grip Mac had on him.

"Mac, please," he begged, scooping up her legs and carrying her to the bed. Sitting on the edge, Harm left Mac in his lap and though he couldn't make out what she was saying, he knew she was talking to him.

"Okay, honey, okay," he soothed, rubbing her back. "Just breathe for me, gorgeous. Just breathe."

Soon Mac was back in control and she pulled back before swiping at the tears on her face.

"I love you so much, Harm...I really do," she said, before falling in and kissing him roughly.

"And I love you too, Mac," he replied, caressing her face."What happened here today?"

"I found out what it was like to have a mom ...a proper mom," she said as her tears tumbled. "Grams and Trish were just wonderful and ... and ..."

"They love you very much," he replied, kissing her head and pushing back the damp strands from her face.

"It...It..." she faltered before taking in a deep breath, "It made me realise just how lucky I was and how it was all thanks to you. And I'm so sorry for how I treated you this morning. I know it was your mom's doing and that you love me and wouldn't exclude me and ...and..."

"Mac, you have to breathe, okay? Otherwise you're going to make yourself sick," Harm warned gently. When she nodded, Harm caressed her face and leant his forehead against hers. "Just breathe."

When Mac was composed, Harm pressed his finger against her lips.

"Can you listen to me?" he asked and she nodded. "I love you... you know that, don't you?" Mac nodded once more. "I know you felt put out this morning but mom felt it better that you not know about the chat she wanted to have with you before it happened." Mac nodded once more. "I wasn't sure how you'd like it ...talking to them...like that...but I see how you are with Lil and I just wanted that for you...for you to have a woman in your life you can turn to and who loves you unconditionally and I know mom and Grams love you so, so much."

When Mac nodded once more, Harm moved them both and settled back on the bed, holding his wife tightly. For awhile nothing was said until Mac finally thought to ask about his day.

"Well, if you think your day was big," he said, running his fingers through her locks. "Mine was bigger."

"How so?" she asked, playing with the buttons on his shirt.

"Lily and I had THE talk," he said, and braced himself for the response...or the laughter.

"As in sex?" Mac asked, sitting up and staring at him.

"Well, um, yeah," he said and then went on to explain the context of the conversation and what was actually said.

Mac laughed, just imagining the scene play out – Harm all embarrassed and flustered, Lily steadfast and inquisitive.

"But, ah, Mac," he said as she climbed out of bed to go see her children.

"Yeah?" Mac asked, turning around.

"Lily wants to talk to you about it tonight...if you can. In her words, she just wants to make sure I didn't get anything wrong. She's not at all confident daddies actually know things about babies and uteruses," he said, taking the hand she offered him.

"Ohh, that should be fun," Mac said with a giggle as they left the room.

Later that night when Mac went to kiss Lily goodnight, she decided, with the twins fast asleep, that it was the perfect time to check in with her daughter.

"Did you have a good time today, pumpkin?" Mac asked as she snuggled in with her daughter.

"It was okay," she replied. "Trains were okay...and I couldn't do much at the playground."

"Daddy said you and he had a special talk," she said, rubbing her daughter's back.

"He said he'd tell me about how babies get in the uterus," she said with a sigh.

"And what did you think of that?" Mac asked, wanting to see just how much had sunk in.

"I thought it was kind of boring actually," she said with another sigh.

"Really?" she asked surprised. Given the child had brought it up a few times, she would have thought she would have been interested in the answer.

"Yeah...I was expecting him to tell me about sex," she said. "But maybe he doesn't know about that."

Mac tried to stifle a laugh; 'out of the mouths of babes' was the thought running through her mind.

"Maybe he doesn't," Mac finally answered, knowing they'd have to have another chat with their daughter soon.

"You know something else, mom?" she said sleepily.

"What's that, baby?" Mac asked softly.

"When dad's really embarrassed he says 'well' a lot," Lily observed.

"What do you mean?" Mac asked, surprised Lily had been more observant than she.

"When he was telling me about babies everything he said started with 'well'. And he wouldn't really look at me... and he seemed really nervous," she rambled as her eyes fluttered.

"I think daddy was a bit nervous," she acknowledged. "After all, this was his first baby talk."

"Before he does it again, mommy, maybe you should give him all the details...especially about the sex, that way he won't be so nervous."

As soon as the child drifted off, Mac scurried out into the hallway before fits of laughter claimed her. It was going to be so much fun relating this particular conversation to her husband.


	17. Chapter 17

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

Padding back downstairs, Mac tried to suppress the laughter within but by the time she got to the kitchen it was all too much and she laughed heartily. When Harm arrived, Mac had her hands pressed on the counter, her body convulsing with each laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asked, taking her arm and pulling her towards him. "Hey?" He brushed away the tears on her face. "What is it?"

Before Mac could answer, Frank came in to organise the next round of coffee.

"It's okay, dad, I'll get it in a minute," Harm said, as Mac pressed against him, the odd giggle still escaping.

"Um...everything alright here?" Frank asked as Mac pulled back with tears still rolling.

"I think so," Harm replied, looking at Mac, while he was worried he didn't know exactly what had gotten into his wife, he couldn't help but be delighted to hear her laugh so richly once more.

"Okay, I'll just go back into the living room, but, ah, Harm..." he started and Harm thought he detected nervousness in the older man's voice. "When you get a chance, can we talk?"

"Sure," he replied, with a nod. He knew what the topic would be.... 'dad'.

With several deep long breaths, Mac regained her composure and took the opportunity to kiss her husband as he stood watching her intently.

"So, glad to see you smile again, gorgeous," Harm said, leaning down and kissing her nose. "Care to share?"

"Um..." Mac tilted her head in contemplation. "Maybe later...when we're on our own..." She nodded towards the stairs. While she couldn't wait to tell him, she didn't think he'd appreciate his grandmother, mother and stepfather hearing all about it.... stepfather...dad.

Harm nodded and moved to organise the coffee but Mac pulled him back and draped her arms across his shoulders.

"You called Frank dad," she observed quietly. "I haven't heard you do that before."

"I've only done it once...today...in the park..." he said in equally hushed tones.

"Why?" she asked, caressing his face as his clear blue eyes became watery.

Staying in his wife's warm and comforting embrace, Harm apprised Mac of the conversation he'd had with Lily and why he'd done it.

"For so long I thought it was betraying my dad...but the truth is Frank has been more of a father to me than dad ever was and it was Frank who I was betraying," he admitted.

"I was wondering when you were going to get around to calling the man that," Sarah said, surprising them both. "It's been a long time coming, Harmon. A very long time."

"You don't mind?" he asked as Mac pulled away and stood beside him, entwining her fingers with his.

"I loved my son, very much," Sarah began. "But he's been gone 42 years ... maybe not from this world or from our hearts but from our lives. I couldn't have asked for a better man than the one in there to raise my stubborn grandson..."

"So, it's alright with you," he checked once more.

"I think it's a sign that you've healed so much in here..." she said, tapping on his temple. "And here," she added tapping on his chest. "And I'm sure that's come from having such a wonderful woman by your side and a loving family."

"I think it is too, Grams," he said, lifting Mac's hand to kiss it.

"Now, Frank said something about you getting the coffee, well, where is it?" she said scanning the kitchen.

"Getting right on it, ma'am," Harm said with a laugh and a quick salute.

"You're too cheeky for your own good, Harmon," she said, slapping his butt as she took Mac's arm and led her from the kitchen. "So, Sarah and I will leave you do it by yourself."

While the ladies had their coffee in the living room, Harm and Frank moved to the back porch and stood leaning on the posts; neither sure how to start the conversation they knew they were supposed to be having.

Taking a few cleansing breaths, Harm decided since he instigated the need for the conversation, then he should just come out and say it.

"When we were at the park today, Lily asked me why I got to call you Frank and she had to call you grandpa and I didn't have an answer for her. I mean, I consider you to be my kids' grandfather – not step grandfather but grandfather. And she made me realise that there is no reason I call you Frank...you are my dad...you've been my dad for so long and it's too my shame it took my seven year old to make me realise it," Harm explained, never once looking at the man he was talking too, his emotions too heightened to cope with any emotion he may see on Frank's face.

"Remind me to spoil that little girl tomorrow," Frank said, his voice compromised by the lump constricting his throat, he coughed to clear it. "You know I've considered you my son since the start but I never wanted to replace your father... I just wanted to be your friend. I love your mother very much and I have to say it killed me that you wouldn't even look at me some days. A couple of times in those early days I considered leaving your mom..."

Harm spun and looked at him, this was news to him.

"Don't look so surprised, Harm. You seemed to hate me and it was killing your mother and tearing us apart...leaving her, you, seemed to be the best option," he explained without accusing him.

"I'm so sorry," Harm said, his eyes tearing up once more.

"I know, son," Frank replied, moving to stand alongside him, shoulder to shoulder. "But my love for your mom was stronger than my frustration with you...so, I persisted. And here we are just 35 short years later..." He chuckled at the latter comment.

"Yeah, well, timing was never my thing, was it?" Harm said, remembering Mac's 'late bloomer' comment.

"As the saying goes, 'better late than never', Frank said. "How about we go back in to the ladies?" He said, nodding towards the house as the peals of laughter drifted towards them.

Fighting his problem of expressing emotions to others, except for Mac – she'd done a wonderful job with him, Harm took Frank in a hug, more than surprising the older man.

"I love you very much, dad," he rumbled as he held him.

"I love you too, son."

When both men appeared at the living room door, emotion still clearly on their faces, no one asked; wanting to give them the time to collect their thoughts. Harm walked over to the armchair Mac was in and she quickly stood so he could sit down and she could settle in with him.

"You okay?" she whispered as she kissed his cheek.

"Never been better," he replied, kissing her back and holding her tighter.

Later on, as they were changing for bed, Harm stood watching Mac as she pulled off her sweater, her tee riding up with it.

"Like what you see?" Mac asked with a smirk when she caught his stare.

"Always do," he replied with a sheepish grin. He was usually much better about not being caught.

Mac laughed and the peals reminded him of the conversation she'd promised him.

Climbing into bed, Harm sat with his back against the stack of pillows and watched as Mac rubbed in the last of her face cream.

"You're gorgeous, you know that? Don't you?" he checked, realising it had been a while since she probably thought that about herself.

"Sure," she replied almost embarrassed.

"You are," he confirmed, pulling back the covers for her as she slipped in beside him.

"Don't feel it," she said with a sigh, rubbing her hand across her scarred abdomen.

"Your beauty isn't there," he whispered, trailing his hand across her stomach. "It's here..." he said, placing his hand above her heart. "It's here..." He tapped her temple. "It's here..." He leant across and kissed her tenderly.

Pulling back he wiped the tears from her face before pulling her into his side and kissing her head. Resting her head on his chest, Mac drew in a deep breath and wrapped her arm around his waist. She loved this man more than she could ever explain. For two people who'd spent nearly the first decade they knew each other stumbling over their feelings, they had certainly got it right when it mattered.

For a while Mac just nestled into her husband, she wanted to resume a more physical relationship with him... she needed it...but she wasn't sure if her ego could withstand a rejection, regardless of the grounds on which it was made.

"What's got you so quiet?" Harm asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"Ah, nothing," she said, swiping at a traitorous tear.

Pushing down further into the bed so he could be eye to eye with his wife, Harm caressed her face.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly, swiping his thumb across the swell of her cheek.

"Do you love me? Really love me?" she whispered, her hand fisting his undershirt.

"Of course I do," he replied.

"Show me," she almost mouthed.

"What?" he questioned, not quite able to understand her.

"Show me," she said only marginally louder.

"Dr Mollison said four to six weeks," he reminded her as he caressed her face.

"It's been twenty six days, it's long enough, and I'm fine," she argued softly.

"Mac, I don't want to compromise your recovery," he replied, his hand moving down to rub her arm.

"If you love me...show me...please..." she said, hating herself for having to beg but needing him so much.

"Never question my love for you," Harm answered sternly but softened when her tears fell once more. "Mac, what it is?"

"I need you," she answered, dropping her head onto his chest.

"You've got me," he replied stroking her back.

"Not like I need you," she replied into his chest.

Harm took a deep breath; he needed her too...so very much.

"I don't want hurt you," he replied, tears filling his eyes.

"You won't, I promise," she said, looking up at him once more.

"But the weight, the pressure..." he began.

"You won't hurt me," she repeated, not that she was 100% sure but willing to take the risk. "I'll stop if it's a problem."

"Are you sure?" he asked, wanting her more with each passing moment.

"More than anything, Harm. I need you to make love to me...please." She held his gaze and caressed his face. "Please," she repeated.

Trusting his wife more than his own instincts, Harm trailed a line of hot kisses from her mouth, down her throat and as far across her collarbone as he could reach. When his destination was impeded by her tee, he pulled back before stripping her of the offending item and resuming his trail of kisses. Across to her shoulder, down her arm and to her hand, Harm took a short cut across her belly, stopping to kiss each new scar, before continuing to the other hand and taking the reverse course back to her mouth.

"Still sure?" he checked, praying she hadn't change her mind but more than prepared to stop if she had, Harm held his breath.

"Positive..." she whispered before his lips claimed hers and he kissed her thoroughly.

Years before, Mac would have decked anyone who dared suggest all she needed was a man to make her feel good about herself but this was different, so different. It wasn't any man she needed, it was Harm. It wasn't just about sexual need, or even want, it was about restoring her belief in herself as a desirable woman...a desirable wife. Harm had the power to affect every aspect of who she was and while she sometimes resented that he had that power, especially when he knew it, she wouldn't have it any other way.

As they became intimately connected, Mac held her breath. It had been so long since they'd actually made love and longer still since she'd enjoyed it without the pain the endometriosis caused that the pain-free sensation of her husband filling her took her breath.

"You okay?" Harm whispered hoarsely when he realised she wasn't breathing. She nodded. "Breathe," he instructed gently.

"'m okay," she whispered trying to regulate her breathing.

"Too much?" he asked, staying perfectly still.

"Not enough," she replied, anchoring her hands on his butt and encouraging him to move.

Taking the hint, Harm resumed his previous activity still fighting the urge to just let go - this was all about his wife, his needs could be met at a later time.

It was sometime later they lay entwined sweaty and sated, heart rates and breathing slowly returning to normal amid the post orgasmic bliss.

"She was wrong," Mac said sleepily as she pressed into him once more.

"Who was wrong?" Harm asked, too fatigued to move to look at his wife.

"Lily..." Mac began. "Said she a bit bored today about your talk because she thought it would be about sex... but maybe you didn't know about it..."

"Really?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow to the darkness.

"Yeah, also said you were nervous 'cause everything you said started with 'well', Mac reported, her smile evident in her voice.

"Well..." he began absently, causing Mac to laugh.

"She said that before I let you do another baby talk I should tell you all about sex...but you just showed you know all you need to know..." she said, pressing an appreciative kiss on his chest.

"Was there ever any doubt?" he asked smugly, his bravado back.

"Only by your daughter..." she replied, before laughing heartily once more.


	18. Chapter 18

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

The days at the farm flew by and before Mac knew it, they were into their third week, awaiting Mattie's return. Trish and Frank had decided to stay on for the occasion of meeting Colin, Trish believing there may be something more in it than just meeting the parents.

When Mattie texted the need to put her visit back a couple of days due to a snafu at work, Harm debated whether to cancel it, postpone it or move it to DC. Lily had her appointment already scheduled for the following Monday to have the casts removed and an orthopaedic review and Harm didn't want to reschedule it.

"What if we see if Lily can have her appointment this Friday? I know it's a long return trip, but we can leave the twins here with your parents and Grams and take her," Mac suggested, standing alongside her husband in the kitchen.

"It's a lot to ask mom and dad, isn't it?" he asked. "They can be handful."

"I'm sure they can cope," Mac said with a smirk. "After all, they handled you."

"Good point," Harm replied with a grin. "I'll call the hospital and see whether we can make the change before I ask them."

Mac nodded and while Harm rang Bethesda's Orthopaedic Department, she grabbed her cell and went outside to call Bethesda's OBGYN Department. While she was feeling good and the resumed sexual activity was better than ever, there seemed to be something amiss...however, she wasn't convinced it was something physical.

Lily's appointment was rescheduled for Friday 1000, which would mean a 0600 departure to be sure.

"Why don't we have an early dinner tomorrow and you can leave then?" Grams suggested, later that day. "You can be home by 9:30 – 10:00 and get a good night's sleep in your own bed. And you can be back Friday afternoon."

"What about Harry and Rose though?" he wondered.

"You telling me you don't trust the three of us with them for 24 hours?" Sarah asked arching an eyebrow.

"No," he answered quickly.

"Then it's settled, you'll go tomorrow," she said, "And then you'll be in plenty of time for Sarah's 9AM appointment..."

"Appointment where?" Harm asked, eyes widening.

"Bethesda. Didn't she tell you?" Sarah asked, not realising what she'd discussed with her granddaughter-in-law was a secret.

"She will now," he stated, heading out the back door to find his wife.

It didn't take long to find her. She was sitting on a low fence watching the twins play with a couple of lambs who were trying their best to eat the grass and not the little fingers getting in their way.

"Harry, no," she said as he tried to climb on the animal to have a ride. "No riding."

"They're having fun," Harm said, sitting down beside her.

"They are," she replied. "Though I haven't the heart to tell them their woolly friends provide the lamb chops they love so much."

"Probably best they don't know," he commented as he picked up Mac's hand. "Is it best that I don't know either?"

Mac looked at him puzzled.

"How come Grams knows you have an 0900 OBGYN appointment Friday and I don't?" he asked, trying his best to keep his voice even.

"Oops," she said with a grimace. "I was going to tell you after I made it, but then Lily wanted to go horse riding, then at lunch everyone was around and I didn't know how you'd react and then when these two were napping I chickened out...sorry."

"Tell me why you made the appointment," he said, glancing at the twins. "What's going on?

"I honestly don't know," she admitted, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I feel good on the whole, my last period went four days and wasn't heavy or painful, there's no pain during sex, my appetite's back..."

"But you feel you need to see Dr Mollison," he stated, still confused as to what the issue is.

"Yeah, I do..." she said with a sigh. "Sounds stupid, I know...but I just feel I need to."

"Okay, well, if it's something you need to do, then you do it," Harm said, squeezing her hand. "Can I come in with you?" he asked, not entirely sure if she was telling him everything.

"Of course," Mac said, there was no reason he shouldn't be there; at least she didn't think there was.

While a minimum of fuss, Harm, Mac and Lily were on the road home just after six and although it had been Mac's idea originally, she couldn't help the tears that fell as they drove down the driveway and away from the twins.

"They'll be fine," Harm reassured her, squeezing her thigh. "In fact they'll probably be spoilt rotten now we're not there to intervene."

"Yeah, I know," Mac said with a sniffle. "They'll have a great time."

"So, why the tears?" he asked, handing her his handkerchief.

"I'm just being silly," she replied, taking it and blowing her nose.

Figuring it all had something to do with her appointment tomorrow; Harm just kissed her hand and then held it as he drove along.

It was quiet for a while until Lily spoke up; reminding her parents she was still there.

"How long more?" she asked, staring at the nothingness around them.

"We've only just started, pumpkin," Harm said. "We should be home by 9:30."

"Can we play I Spy?" she asked, hopefully.

"Sure we can," he replied, happy to entertain the child.

"Are you playing too, mommy?" she asked and Mac nodded before she sniffled again. "Are you okay, mom?"

"Yes, Lily, I'm good," Mac replied in a lie.

"Okay. I spy with my little eye something beginning with....A," she said confidently before settling back in her seat.

"A...apple," said Harm.

"Can you see an apple, dad?" she asked and when he shook his head she sighed, "Well then it can't be an apple, can it?"

"Armrests," said Mac, struggling for a word.

"Nope," she replied with a smile.

"A...a...Is it in the car or outside?" Harm questioned and Lily sighed once more.

"Dad, that's not the way you play."

"Sorry," he replied, wracking his brain for an 'a' word.

"Amtrak," Mac said, pointing to a distant train.

"Nope," she replied, folding her arms across her chest.

"Ashtray," offered Harm, pointing to the dashboard.

"Nope, nope, nope," she said with a laugh.

"I don't know, pumpkin, what is it?" Harm asked, glancing across at his wife.

"You're giving up already?" Lily said with displeasure. "Can tell you're not a marine, marines never give up, do they, mom?"

"Never, Lily," Mac said with pride. Lily was definitely a mini-Mac, a mini-marine.

With Harm remaining quiet, Mac went through a whole range of options...

Air freshener

Air conditioner

Asphalt

American flag

Ambulance

Aeroplane

All of which were incorrect. Fresh out of ideas but not wanting to quit like a certain sailor, Mac struggled on.

"I'll give you a hint, mommy," Lily said, leaning forward. "It's in the car somewhere."

"When I asked you that you told me off," Harm said, speaking for the first time in about thirty minutes.

"That's because you just wanted help...at least mom's been trying, dad," she said with the attitude only a seven year old could muster.

"It's in the car?" Mac confirmed as she scanned the interior of the vehicle.

"Yep," Lily said, proud she had her parents beat.

Arm

Ant

Ankle

Armadillo

"Mac, where do we have an armadillo in the car?" Harm asked, becoming frustrated with this never ending game.

"There's one on your key ring, Harm. The one Lily bought you last Father's Day," Mac said with a laugh.

"That's right, dad," Lily chimed in and Harm just sighed. "Good guess, mommy, it's not armadillo but you're getting close."

Mac looked over at Harm and his portion of the vehicle.

"Aviator!" Mac said quickly, sure it was the word.

"No, mom," she replied before yawning.

Studying her husband once more, Mac went over some earlier words.

Arm

Ankle

Armrest

Aviator

Armadillo

The marine in her not wanting to give up but the mother willing to concede to her daughter, Mac turned around in her seat to negotiate a surrender.

"Pumpkin," she started before realising her daughter had fallen asleep. "Well, I guess that's it for the game." Mac turned back in her seat as Harm looked at their daughter in the rear vision mirror.

"I wonder which word she was thinking about," Harm pondered.

"We'll have to wait til she wakes up now," Mac said, reaching across and resting her hand on his leg.

"How are you doing now?" Harm asked squeezing her hand.

"Much better, thanks," she replied. "Lily is a great distraction."

"She certainly has a way about her," Harm agreed.

By the time they arrived home, Harm was the only one awake. Pulling up in the driveway, Harm slid out of the car and unlocked the house before turning off the alarm and turning on the lights. Returning to the car, he was surprised he still had two sleeping beauties. He was sure they'd have woken up.

Grabbing the little luggage they'd brought back with them from the trunk, Harm deposited it inside the front door before going to the vehicle and opening Lily's door.

"Hey, baby, we're home," he said softly as he unbuckled her belt.

"Daddy," she whimpered as he lifted her and removed her from the car.

With Lily secure in his arms, Harm closed the door before reaching over to open Mac's.

"Sweetheart, we're home," he said, rubbing her arm.

"Carry me," she murmured, holding out her arms despite her seat belt still being in place.

"I've got Lily, Mac," he said, caressing her face.

"Carry me," she repeated, her head rolling back and eyes fluttering closed once more.

"Okay, give me a couple of minutes," he replied, closing over her door before heading inside.

With Lily settled into her bed, still dressed, Harm returned to the car and unbuckled Mac's belt. Helping her swing her legs out of the vehicle, Harm fully expected Mac to stand up and walk, instead she looped her arms around his neck and made it clear she wasn't going anywhere under her own steam.

"This is not like you," he said as he scooped her up and bumped the door closed.

"Your fault," she said with a deep sigh.

"How do you figure that?" Harm asked as he entered the house and kicked the door closed behind them.

"You've been keeping me very busy the last few nights," she said with a sleepy grin.

Harm laughed; they had resumed their marital relations in a most satisfactory way.

"Well, I guess this is the least I can do then, isn't it?" he said with a chuckle.

Leaving Mac on their bed, Harm went to lock up and to get himself a coffee and snack. As he sat quietly going through the mail, Mac reappeared dressed in one of his tees and sat on his lap before stealing one of the cookies he'd gotten for himself.

"Anything important here?" she asked, nodding to the pile on the table.

"Nah, a couple of bills, a reminder that the car needs servicing, Lily's dental reminder, nothing earth shattering," he informed her.

"That mean you're ready for bed?" she asked, caressing his face with featherlight kisses.

"I thought you'd be too tired for anything other than sleep," he said, as they stood up.

"I might be able to make an exception – for you," she said with a sly wink.

"You go and I'll just put these in the kitchen and get the light," he said, picking up his cup and plate.

After a final check on Lily, Harm arrived at his bedroom not five minutes later to find his wife in their bed very naked...and very much asleep. Laughing, he headed to the bathroom before slipping in beside her with only his boxers on, left to imagine what they would have gotten up too.

Long before necessary, Mac was awake and as she became more alert she realised she was naked. Thinking back, she figured she must have fallen asleep before anything had happened. Skimming her hand down her husband's body and finding his boxers, her suspicions were confirmed. Deciding she should make it up to him, she rolled over and pressed into him. One leg, hooking over his while her hands created their own paths around his bare torso. It wasn't long before Harm's senses were heightened.

Wanting to talk to her before anything happened; Harm wrapped his arm around her waist.

"Your..." was as far as he got before Mac's tongue slipped into his mouth as she rolled onto him and nature took its course.

Lying alongside his wife much later, Harm was more than happy with his early morning wake up, he kissed her head as he stroked her arm gently.

"That's a nice way to be woken up," he commented, as she snuggled into him.

"Just nice?" she asked, and he knew the expression which would be on her face without looking.

"Wonderful, magnificent, amazing, breathtaking..." he trailed off as she laughed.

"Good," she replied, kissing his chest. "I'm glad it meets your approval."

"Oh, it does," he said with a smirk. "Feel free to do it any time."

"Oh, I will," Mac replied before taking a deep breath.

There was silence for a few minutes until Harm couldn't help but ask the question playing on his mind. "How are you doing this morning?"

"I think we just covered that," she replied, her hand skimming down his torso and resting on his upper inner thigh.

"I meant about this morning's appointment," he clarified, trying not to think of her hand and its proximity to other things.

"I'm okay," she replied, her hand kneading his thigh.

"Have you worked out why it is you think you need to see Dr Mollison?" he asked and she shook her head.

"I bet you think I've lost my mind," Mac replied with a self deprecating laugh.

"Nah, I'm a little concerned that you can't really identify what you're feeling but I don't think you've lost your mind," he said, kissing her head.

"Maybe seeing the doctor will help me clarify things," she said, concerned herself that she was feeling okay but had a nagging desire to see the doctor once more.

"Maybe," Harm echoed.

Before he could say anything else, Mac's hand moved and as she wrapped her fingers around him he lost the ability to think.


	19. Chapter 19

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: There wasn't must interest in the last chapter...I'm hoping it was an anomoly.

----------------change--------------------

Lily was a little fountain of excitement, bubbling away in the back seat as they drove to Bethesda. She couldn't believe that six weeks were finally up and she'd finally have her legs back and better still, they would be returning to the farm and Grams would be able to see her walk and she'd be able to run around with Harry and Rose and fetch the eggs on her own and maybe, just maybe, be able to get on the horse by herself.

Caught up making her own plans, she missed her father speaking to her and it wasn't til he called her name a third time she caught it.

"Huh?" she replied.

"Huh? What sort of reply in that?" Harm asked, glancing in the mirror at his daughter.

"Sorry! Pardon, dad," she said, her hands clasped in front of her.

"I was asking you what the 'a' word you were thinking of yesterday in I Spy was. You fell asleep before you told us," Harm said as he pulled up at a set of lights.

"Um..." she replied before pausing to think...a...a...a...a...a...a...a.

"Lily?" called Mac. "What was the word?"

"I don't remember," she said with a shrug. "Sorry!"

Harm and Mac groaned and then looked at each other; both making a silent pact that they weren't playing it again on the way back to the farm.

For thirty minutes Harm kept Lily entertained in the waiting room as Mac had a physical assessment and a few basic tests completed.

"When will mom be finished?" Lily asked, looking over at the door.

"Shouldn't be long now," Harm replied, though the truth was he was getting a bit apprehensive. Usually the test component took 10, 15 minutes maximum and then the consultation occurred with the doctor straight after. He couldn't help but think that maybe Mac was in seeing the doctor and hadn't called for him.

Leaving Lily colouring in, he strode over to the receptionist to see if she could update him. All she could tell him was the doctor would get him shortly. Somewhere deep inside, he knew this wasn't a good thing. It was only five minutes later when the door opened and Dr Mollison summoned him in while Lily went to the reception desk.

"So, what's going on?" he asked without greeting as he took a seat beside Mac.

"Sarah?" Dr Mollison prompted giving Mac the option to explain but she just shrugged, so the doctor continued. "Sarah's test results were all very good, far better than we would have expected so soon after her surgery."

"That's good, isn't it?" Harm asked talking his wife's hand, surprised she wasn't talking.

"From a medical standpoint, it's very good," Dr Mollison said with a nod.

"But?" he asked, knowing there was one coming.

"Sarah wasn't sure why but she felt like she needed the appointment..." she started and Harm nodded. "After I apprised her of the positive news, she informed me that she wants to book in the hysterectomy."

"What?" Harm spun in his seat. "Why?"

Mac still refused to speak.

"Sarah seems to feel that as she has felt so much better since the surgery that it would be good to make sure she stays that way and she believes a hysterectomy would ensure that," she said and Harm was stunned.

"I don't get it," he said, standing and pacing back and forth. "When you were in so much pain and so very unwell with it, you were so defiant ...there was no way you were going to have it. But when it is finally going well and you're back to being you, you want it. It makes no sense!"

"Harm, just take a breath for a moment," Dr Mollison said, coming from behind her desk to stand in front of it. "Sarah feels..."

"Then Sarah should be the one talking..." he interjected loudly. "Talk to me!"

"Harm...don't be mad..." she started in an uncertain voice.

"Mad? I'm not mad. I'm dumbfounded, confused and very, very concerned," he said, folding his arms and looking at her.

"I don't want to go back to the way things were," she started quietly. "I don't want to feel like I'm an outsider in my own family."

"When have I ever made you feel that way?" he asked, tears filling his eyes.

"You never have...it's me...when this was all at its worst I felt like I was...that there was this beautiful family that I was staying with... I love you all so very much but I wasn't feeling that I was loved," she admitted tearfully.

Immediately Harm dropped to his knees in front of her, his hands moving to frame her face.

"You have always been loved. We all love you very much!" he stated emphatically.

"I know you do," she replied. "But it's all hormonal and emotional and everything else and ..."

"Sarah's experience isn't all that uncommon, Harm," Dr Mollison interrupted. "It's a symptom of the condition, a part of the emotional toll on the psyche."

"I've had such a good time at the farm and I realised that I never want to go back to the way things were...I think I'd cope better with going through the hysterectomy and menopause than ever feeling that way again," she admitted dropping her forehead to his. "I'm sorry," she added in a whisper.

"Don't apologise, Mac," he said, taking a deep breath. "I did say that you should do anything you felt you needed too. I guess I just never thought this would be it," he said, still fighting to control his emotions.

Glancing at his watch Harm realised his time was up.

"You make whatever arrangements you need to," he said, kissing her head and standing up. "I'll be in orthopaedics when you're done."

He was gone before Mac got his name out.

"Are you okay, daddy?" Lily asked as she lay on the table in the treatment room in the orthopaedics department.

"Yes, pumpkin," he said, trying to smile at her.

"Is mommy okay?" she asked as she played with his collar.

"She sure is," he replied, trying to smile. "She'll be down here the minute she's finished."

"Guess it takes more time with uterus doctors than bone doctors," she commented as her doctor walked in.

Lily's appointment was uneventful. She had x-rays, then the casts removed, she was made walk and given some exercises to do at home. When all was said and done she went to sit in the wheelchair once more.

"Sorry, kiddo," said the doctor. "This stays here now, you have to walk out."

Lily laughed; more than happy to walk away from the hospital.

Slipping her hand into her father's, Lily had only taken a few steps before she spied her mother in the waiting room.

"Mom! Mommy! Look!" she yelled as she ran across the room a little unsteady due to the lack of use of her legs.

"You're a clever girl," Mac said, wrapping her in a warm embrace and kissing her. "How do you feel?"

"It feels a bit weird but it doesn't hurt," she said pulling back and doing a little dance.

"I'm glad to hear it, baby," Mac said, ruffling her hair.

"How do you feel?" Harm asked Mac while taking Lily's hand once more to ensure she wasn't going to overdo it.

"I'm okay," she said slowly as she nodded. "I've got a whole lot of information to read and an appointment with a counsellor before they'll go ahead with it... "

"Okay," Harm said with a nod, not really wanting to discuss things at this stage.

"Can we please get lunch before we go?" Lily asked as they entered the elevator.

"It's only 1105, Lily," Harm said, checking his watch.

"But if we go to Beltway Burgers it will be closer to 12 and mom and I have both been good girls this morning and ..." she rambled and though he wanted to say no, he couldn't take out his stress on his beautiful daughter who was just so full of joy at the ability to walk.

"Okay, Beltway Burgers it is, if it's alright with your mom," he said, leaning back on the stainless steel wall.

Mac cringed; usually when he referred to her it was just 'mom' not 'your mom'. She knew her appointment had caught him off guard, it had caught her off guard too but it felt right.

"Mom? Please?" she asked, standing in front of her and tugging on her arms.

Realising her husband was already suffering, Mac decided to compromise.

"Beltway Burgers would be good but I was thinking that maybe IHOP would be better...it's..." she said before Lily jumped in.

"IHOP! Yes!!!" Lily yelled drawing stares from others in the small cabin.

"Is that okay, dad?" she asked turning back to her father. He nodded and smiled weakly at Mac, knowing she was doing it for him.

The drive back to the farm was fairly subdued and while she was only young, Lily had the good sense not to bug her parents who seemed to be a bit too distracted for her liking. First she occupied herself playing with her doll, and then she read a book. Next, she looked out the window for a while, and then she closed her eyes for a bit.

"Alligator," she said so suddenly and loudly that both her parents jumped – caught up in their own thoughts they had forgotten she was there.

"What alligator?" Harm asked, glancing back at his daughter.

"That was the 'a' word – alligator," she said with a smile.

"Lily, there's no alligator in the car," Harm said with a shake of his head.

"Not today there's not, but there was yesterday," she said, looking back out the window.

"No there wasn't," he replied harshly, not in the mood for childish games.

"There was too," Lily protested. "On the pocket of your shirt, there was a little alligator..."

Harm went to shake his head once more but Mac spoke up.

"You're right, Lily," she said, "That was a good thing to pick."

"Can we play again?" she asked cheerfully.

"No!" was the resounding answer.

After a few moments of strained silence, Mac inserted the CD. "How about we play your favourite music?"

"Okay," she replied quietly.

For most of the next hour, the only sounds in the car were of the Taylor Swift CD and Lily's not quite in tune vocals. Spying a roadhouse up ahead, Harm slowed his speed and indicated to make the turn.

"Are we there?" Lily asked, looking out the side window.

"No, pumpkin," Harm replied. "I thought that maybe we could have a bathroom break, and get a drink and that you'd like to play on the playground."

Lily thought it was a great idea, a playground to herself...and with legs to use it.

While he hadn't lied to Lily as to why they'd stopped, Harm knew he and Mac needed to speak before they returned to the farm and this seemed like the perfect place to do it.

After he parked, he reached across and rubbed Mac's arm. "Mac, wake up," he said gently and she woke, surprised that they had stopped.

"Bathroom break," he said and she nodded before undoing her seatbelt.

After taking herself and her daughter to the almost clean bathroom, Mac sat at a table outside the roadhouse as Lily played on the equipment. Knowing she couldn't wrap the child in cotton wool, Mac had only issued basic instructions before she'd let her play: One, no jumping period. Two, she could use the swing so long as she didn't put her legs down to stop. And three, she was to take things easy or risk another trip to Bethesda.

"One strong coffee for you and one chocolate milkshake for Lily," Harm said, placing the drinks from the tray he was carrying to the table.

Sitting next to his wife, he placed his own coffee in front of him and opened up the packet of peanut butter M&Ms he'd bought, which were Mac's favourites, and put it between them.

"Thanks," said Mac, her eyes flitting from her daughter to the M&Ms.

After each had taken several silent sips of their coffee, Mac reached across and placed her hand over Harm's.

"I'm sorry," she said, finally looking at him. "I didn't realise the appointment was going to go that way."

"What happened?" he asked, threading his fingers through hers.

"Everything was so positive and good and I can't remember the last time I had an appointment with Dr Mollison where that was the case," she explained, her gaze locked on his. "And it just hit me that if I had the operation then I could be feeling this good permanently...well, maybe not at first but eventually."

"I guess I can understand that," he said slowly. "It just came out of nowhere."

"Tell me about it," she said nodding. "One minute I'm lying there thinking this is all good, the next I hear myself asking for a hysterectomy. Even I couldn't believe it at first."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked, taking a quick look at Lily.

"Yeah, I think so," she said slowly. "I just want to be in control, for once. I've spent the better part of six months feeling like a stranger in my house, hell, in my own body. I don't like feeling like that. I won't lie, I am nervous about it but it feels right. I feel this is the right decision for me...for us."

"You know we love you, I love you, with or without this operation?" Harm checked, squeezing her hand.

"I do, believe me, I do," she said, releasing his hand to be able to caress his face.

"Chocolate milkshake! Cool!" said Lily sitting down opposite her parents, a huge smile on her face.

"You looked like you were having fun over there, Lily," Harm said as he wrapped arm around his wife and held her.

"So much fun, dad. I did the slide and the swing and the roundabout thingy and the..." she paused to draw in a huge mouthful of drink through the thin straw. "Climbing frame, and everything."

Harm and Mac laughed; to Lily, life was a joy when you had a playground to yourself, your legs and a chocolate milkshake. Perhaps, they conceded they should take a leaf from their daughter's book and just take time out to enjoy the simple things in life for once.


	20. Chapter 20

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: Thanks for the 200 reviews for this story thus far, I do appreciate those taking the time to review.

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Squeals of joy met the travellers return to the farm. Spying the car driving up, the twins went to run to it but Frank kept a firm grip on them. Struggling against the grip Frank had on the back of his overalls; Harry wriggled and squirmed, trying desperately to break free. Rose tried to pry Frank's hand from hers, in her desire to get to her parents. Knowing he was losing the battle, and the car was still in motion, Frank managed to scoop them both up, one under each arm and hold onto them.

With little pudgy legs kicking at the back and flushed faces squealing at the front, Frank threatened to take the pair inside unless they quietened. It didn't work. He tried to reason with them, bargain with them, threaten them. It made no difference.

"Goodness me, all this noise!" said Trish, walking out of the house and retrieving Harry. "You're definitely your daddy, aren't you?"

With a grandchild each on a hip, Frank and Trish waited until the vehicle stopped completely and the doors were opened before moving any closer. When all three were out and the doors closed, Frank set Rose down and she went scurrying to her parents. Harry soon followed.

There were lots of hugs and kisses exchanged and Trish and Frank silent breathed a huge sigh of relief. They were far too old for two year old twins... especially when those twins had MacKenzie and Rabb genes...one never wanting to give up, the other wanting to investigate everything.

"Hope they weren't too much trouble," Mac said, hoisting Harry up before kissing Trish.

"Not at all," Trish replied, wondering if it would be too obvious if she went for a nap.

"Piece of cake," added Frank, and he meant it...he'd love a piece of cake and a coffee...a very strong coffee, preferably with a shot of something stronger. He loved his grandchildren but 24 hours with two, two year old tornadoes had left him exhausted.

For the next few hours there was nothing but casual conversation and a whole lot of extra love and attention for the twins from their parents and for Lily by her grandparents and Grams. By dinner, the twins were exhausted by their busy afternoon and no nap, while Lily had been yawning nonstop as she set the table; having your legs back and being on the farm meant so much to catch up on.

"I think early nights all around," said Harm looking around the table and finding many weary faces.

"I think so too," said Mac, ruffling Rose's hair.

"That's a great idea," Frank said quickly, lest anybody object.

"And that means we'll be refreshed for our trip to Charlesville tomorrow," Trish added, picking up her glass.

"What's in Charlesville?" Mac asked, as she tried to help Rose eat her dinner.

"It's got a small gallery owned by a local artist, thought it would be good to check out," she said, kicking Frank when he went to speak. Charlesville also had a range of quaint stores, a wonderful park, a craft market and several other delights, but Trish didn't want to share such information.

"Can I come please, grandma?" Lily asked, she'd missed having some time with her grandparents.

"Do you think a gallery is a place you want to visit?" Trish asked, not wanting to say no outright.

"Yeah, I'll be good and I won't touch anything," she promised enthusiastically.

"Well, maybe," said Frank slowly, after all, galleries weren't his thing and if he had to babysit a seven year old in the park, then so be it.

"Sounds like a lovely idea," Grams said, stacking up the plates on the table. "I'd love to come too."

Trish took a deep breath, a family outing would be nice but she was keen on having some peace and quiet and while Lily and Sarah would be no trouble, the twins would be something different indeed. She looked over at her son and daughter-in-law who were obviously considering Charlesville too and her stomach sunk.

Looking over at Trish, Mac sensed her reluctance...or perhaps it was her fatigue.

"I think that's great," she started, glancing over at Harm. "It will be Lily's first outing without her wheelchair in six weeks, so a gallery would be a perfect place to start. As for us..." she continued, taking Harm's hand. "I think we and the twins might spend the day relaxing here...maybe setting up some extra beds for Mattie and Colin for Monday...and some odd jobs...What do you think, Harm?"

The way his wife was looking at him, which seemed quite innocently to everyone else, told Harm he had to agree. While he wanted to ask since when did relaxing equal odd jobs, Harm just nodded before realising Mac expected him to speak.

"I'm all for a day on the farm. I promised Harry a horse ride ...and tomorrow's forecast is perfect," he said and when Mac leant in and kissed his cheek, he knew he'd got it right.

As the saying on farms goes: early to bed, early to rise; and so it was that the Rabb farm was a hive of activity just after dawn. The only ones still enjoying a Saturday morning slumber were the twins who had fallen asleep the minute their heads hit the pillows. Harry had been so tired that he had barely acknowledged Mac's presence let alone felt the need for her breast.

Being so early, and with a beautiful day already evident in the warm air and cool blue sky above, Grams suggested they treat themselves to a cooked breakfast and eat it out on the porch. Harm's eyes had teared up and he had excused himself so quickly that Mac wouldn't have been aware of it if she hadn't been looking at him at the time.

Leaving Trish and Grams to cook and Frank and Lily organising the table, Mac followed the path Harm had taken through the living room and out the front door. To her surprise she found him sitting on a boulder in the middle of the yard in front of the house. His elbows were on his knees and his head was cradled in his hands.

The soft grass hid Mac's approach but it didn't matter, caught up in his own world, Harm wouldn't have heard her even if she was wearing combat boots and marching on gravel.

"Sweetheart?" Mac called as she stopped alongside him. "Harm? Honey, what's wrong?" She crouched in front of him but his face remained hidden. "Harm, hey?" She tugged at one arm and he reluctantly yielded.

Dropping to her knees, Mac's arms encircled him and she pulled him close. Not wanting to succumb completely to the emotions overwhelming him, Harm tried to fight for control but Mac's soothing words and ministrations proved a stronger force and soon he found himself blubbering into her shoulder.

"You're okay...you're okay...."

When her words finally got through to him, Harm drew a deep breath and tried to regain some composure. He didn't need to think too hard about the last time he'd lost complete control of his emotions...for it had been on that very boulder, forty two year ago.

"Talk to me," Mac said, quietly, not releasing her hold on him.

"I'm sorry," he said in a choked voice, trying to get himself together.

"Shh, no need to apologise," she replied, kissing his temple. "Just breathe."

Mac pulled back marginally and framed his face with her hands. Using her thumbs, she brushed away the tears on his cheeks before leaning up and gently kissing his forehead, nose and then lips.

"I love you so much," she soothed, brushing his cheeks once more before bringing his forehead to rest on hers. "So very much, sweetheart."

It took four minutes and thirty seven seconds for Harm to speak once more though it had seemed like an eternity to Mac.

Blowing out deep breaths, Harm pulled back and caressed his wife's concerned face.

"I guess it's everything catching up on me," he said quietly. "It's been pretty intense these last months and then with Lily and you... and the farm...and retiring and those plans...and Frank and the dad thing... and yesterday's appointment and all the memories this place brings with it and ...well...just everything."

While Mac knew Harm had been dealing with a lot, it didn't equate to the massive meltdown she'd just witnessed. Her Harm had never been a blubbering mess; not in all the time she'd known him. The closest he'd come was at Lily's birth when he cried from the minute she was born until the nurse sent him home for the night but at least then she knew the reason and it had been happy tears.

"But you know what set me off?" he asked, knowing he had to offer some sort of explanation, lest his wife call in the men with the special white jackets.

"What, honey?" she whispered as she gently rubbed his temples.

"It's stupid, really," he said, prefacing his explanation before he gave it.

"What happened?" she prompted once more, her ministrations unfaltering.

"The last time dad was here with me..." he started slowly, his watery blue eyes gazing into her concerned chocolate orbs. "Was the last time I ate breakfast on the porch..."

Mac's brow furrowed as she tried to understand.

"Grams said just before about having breakfast on the porch...and the last time I did, I was five... and dad was here and ..." His eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Oh, sweetheart," she soothed, her own eyes filling with her husband's distress.

"I never thought it would be the last time...you know?" he said and Mac nodded. "And the next time I was here after that was ... well, it was that Christmas. Dad was going to be away and mom thought it would feel like he was with us if we had Christmas here... and it was good, well, as good as you'd expect. But then the telegram came and ...well, you know what it said...and my first reaction was that it wasn't true, dad couldn't be MIA... so I came and sat on this boulder and waited for him to come up the road."

"You sat here in the depths of winter?" Mac asked, linking her hands behind his neck.

"Five days straight... and when he hadn't come by the fifth day I sat here and cried....and cried...pretty much what I've just done right now," he said, with an embarrassed smile.

"Oh, Harm," she said, pulling him back to her and kissing his head.

"Every time I visited after that I'd spend some time sitting here, staring down the road, hoping against hope that dad would walk up and it would have all been a bad dream. Problem with that was it was the reality which was the bad dream..." he said, steeling himself with another deep breath.

Mac cradled his face in her hands before gently kissing his lips once more. What she really wanted to do was curl up somewhere soft with him and just hold him until all the pain and hurt she could see flickering through his baby blues disappeared. Deciding it was too much to send the twins out with their grandparents for the day, Mac resolved to running them ragged all morning and settling them down for a huge nap in the afternoon.

"Don't know why it's all coming up now," he said with a shake of his head.

"I think I do," Mac said softly. "Your emotions are already heightened with all the stuff that's been going on with me and Lil, and then we add our intention to move here, a place which is full of memories of your dad, and I go and throw you for a loop yesterday with the hysterectomy... you said it yourself."

"I should be able to deal with it," he said, an anger at himself growing within him.

"No," she said, firmly. "You're allowed to be upset, Harm. And more than that," she added. "I think you are also incredibly tired." Gently she stroked the dark circles under his eyes. "I know you haven't had a decent night's sleep in a long time... you're the one getting up to the kids each night, you're the one that's been doing all the baths and most of the diaper changes and everything else requiring lifting...You're the one who's paid every bill and taken care of all the household tasks for months now. You're the one who had to deal with everything with Lily...and my contribution on that first night I was home was to blame you...for which I'll be eternally sorry. Everything has been on you ... and now with all the stuff about your dad...it's just been too much for you. You're human – it's allowed."

For a few minutes, Harm and Mac looked at each other. While Harm knew there were reasons for his current condition, he didn't feel it was warranted. He'd barely cried when he'd learnt of his father's passing in Russia many years later, so why should he be in tears now over the suggestion of breakfast on the porch of all things.

Mac smiled slowly as she watched him sort through things in his mind. Her beautiful husband was trying to draw his strength from her, his eyes never left hers as he tried to find himself once again in the myriad of emotions he was experiencing.

"I think this is a good thing," Mac said softly, before standing up, her knees aching from the rough ground. "I think we're getting good at opening up to each other..."

"Even though I'm a mess?" he questioned, standing up with her.

"I think I've been a bigger mess lately," she said, taking his hand and walking towards the house.

"I don't know I think I just put in a trophy winning performance," he said, a wry smile in place.

"It's not a competition, you know?" she said, winding her arm around his waist.

"I know but if it was I'd..." he began, before she cut him off before he said 'win'.

"No, you wouldn't," she interjected with a laugh. Only Harm would turn an emotional breakdown into a competition – if nothing else, his competitive spirit still intact.


	21. Chapter 21

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

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Though it was clearly apparent to all the adults that there was something wrong, Mac had shaken her head when they looked at her and they knew not to ask. Lily, on the other hand, didn't have that awareness. As Harm sat down at the end of the table on the porch, looking over the fields and trying to keep himself together, Lily stood near the door and watched him.

Turning, Lily padded back inside and tugged her mother's arm.

"Mom, daddy looks sad," she said with a pout, she didn't like to see her daddy sad.

"He is a little sad," Mac admitted, knowing everyone was listening. "But mostly he's very tired."

"Didn't he sleep well?" she asked, looking through the window at her father.

"It's more than just sleep, Lily," Mac said gently. "With you and me and everything else, daddy has had to do so much lately and it's all caught up with him."

"Can you fix it?" she asked, her big brown eyes filling with tears.

"I'm going to try when you are all out today," she said with a smile.

Pulling on her mother's arm once more, Lily asked, "Can I help?"

"I think so," Mac said, leaning down to kiss her daughter's head. "How about you go sit with him for a bit and tell him how much you love him?"

Lily ran off immediately.

From the kitchen, the adults watched as Lily neared her father and climbed up onto Harm's lap. While they couldn't hear her, they knew she'd told her father she loved him by the way he pulled her close and kissed her head.

"What's going on with that grandson of mine?" Sarah asked, wiping her hands on the dishcloth.

Mac turned and smiled at the three concerned faces directed her way. She wanted to try and gloss over it but knew they wouldn't buy it.

"Harm's alright," she started. "I think he's more exhausted than anything."

"I've seen Harm exhausted and not so emotional," Trish said, "So what are you not telling me?"

"It's a bit of everything," Mac admitted. "But maybe you should ask him."

"Fine," Trish said, heading towards the door before Mac reconsidered.

"No, wait," she called and then drew a deep breath. "Being here on the farm has brought up lots of emotions for Harm and he is tired. I mean, he has done everything for me and Lily in recent months, not to mention the twins... and then yesterday... well, I threw him for a loop by asking the doctor to do a hysterectomy..."

"What?" Trish and Sarah asked in unison.

"We can discuss the reasons later but, for now, you can appreciate what it did to Harm," Mac said, looking back out to her husband and daughter, smiling when she realised they were singing together.

"We can take the twins with us today, if that will help things?" Frank offered, knowing that Trish wouldn't object under the circumstances.

"Thanks," Mac said with an appreciative smile. "But I think they'll be a great distraction this morning and then I'm hoping they'll have a nice long nap this afternoon and Harm can just relax a little."

As orchestrated by Mac, the Charlesville tour got underway a little after nine, just after the twins woke. Wondering if she'd be able to get them to nap, considering the nearly fourteen hours they'd just slept, Mac got things underway. As she cleaned up after breakfast, she sent the duo out with Harm to collect the eggs, then to bring the laundry from the clothes line. Next, she kept Rose while Harm went for a long ride with Harry before swapping the twins and sending Rose off.

When they returned, Mac picked up the lunch basket she'd prepared and set off with Harm and the twins for a long walk and picnic lunch. Leaving the destination up to Harm, she couldn't help but smile when she realised he was leading them towards his special fishing place. On the way back, both Harry and Rose protested the endless walk and both requested to be carried in increasingly louder and emphatic ways.

Mac declined and encouraged Harm to do the same and so it was no surprise that the little duo were asleep before Harm could finish shutting the blinds.

"You exhausted them," Harm commented, coming from the bedroom as Mac came from the bathroom.

"Yes, and I did it very well," she replied with a smile.

"Any reason I should know of?" he asked as she stepped up to him and kissed him softly.

"You go into our room, strip off and put your robe on and meet me back here and I may tell you," she said, with a smirk.

Harm shook his head. "Why don't you tell me now?"

"Please," she added, turning him to face the door. "Just trust me, Harm," she said and knowing she wouldn't lead him astray, he obeyed.

Returning five minutes later, Harm met Mac coming out of the bathroom once more.

"I'm ready," he announced.

"Let me be the judge of that," Mac quipped, pulling his robe open a little and making sure he was indeed naked - he was. "Come with me..."

Trailing Mac into the bathroom, Harm found she had filled the bath and lit two of his grandmother's emergency candles. Along with the drawn curtain, she placed two towels across the window to increase the darkness and accentuate the glow of the candles.

The bath had been filled with the twins' bubble bath mixture; being a long way from home Mac had to make do with what she could find.

"I want you to get in with your head at this end," she instructed as she undid the belt of his robe.

"Are you going to join me?" he asked and she shook her head.

"Just you," she replied, kissing his cheek.

Climbing in, Harm positioned himself as requested and Mac placed a rolled towel under his neck.

"Close your eyes," she whispered, kneeling on another towel at the end of the tub.

"Mac, you really don't have to do this," he protested, somewhat weakly. While he wasn't one for soaking in a tub and pampering, he was very interested in what his wife had planned.

Using a dollop of her lotion on her hands, Mac massaged it into Harm's face, taking her time in applying even and tender strokes. Working from his face, she moved to his neck and shoulders, taking the opportunity every now and then to reach around and kiss him gently. When that was done, she placed hot towel across his face before kissing his temple and disappearing for a while.

Sitting in the kitchen with coffee and an old magazine, Mac listened for any indication Harm was absconding from his bath without her permission. When she figured he'd soaked long enough, Mac returned to the bathroom and wasn't surprised to find he was asleep. Peeling the towel from his face, Mac placed a kiss on his forehead before caressing his cheek.

"Hey, sweetie," she cooed. "Wanna wake up for me?"

A mumbled mess was all she got in reply.

"Harm....Harm," she called softly, "Time to get out."

Reaching down to the other end, Mac pulled the plug before removing the towels for the light and extinguishing the candles. Grabbing a blue bath towel, she opened it up before moving back to Harm once more.

"Honey, Harm," she called patting his face.

"Sorry, Mac, must have fallen asleep," he muttered trying to find his feet.

"C'mon," she encouraged, holding his hand and helping him step out. Patting him down with the towel, Mac wrapped it around his waist before leading him to the bedroom. "Lay on your stomach," she instructed as she pulled down the covers.

"Mac..." he began to protest but she shook her head.

"Lay down!"

Deciding to go with the flow, Harm removed the towel and lay down as was instructed. Taking towel, Mac draped it over his butt before grabbing the lotion and straddling his middle. With an abundance of tender, loving care, Mac massaged the lotion into his back, paying careful attention to work out the knots he had around his left shoulder blade.

Each time Mac hit a particularly tender spot, Harm would wince and she was lean down and kiss the spot. When she realised he was wincing every third or fourth stroke, she figured he was doing it solely for the kisses. Leaning to the side, Mac instructed Harm to roll over and when he willingly obliged, she started the same treatment and got the same result.

"I think you're more interested in the kisses than the massage," Mac said as she hovered over him on all fours.

"I'd be stupid not to be," he replied, pushing up and claiming her lips.

It didn't take long for the massage to be forgotten and for as Mac to be as naked as Harm was. In the quiet, peacefulness of their room, husband and wife enjoyed a round of gentle lovemaking before Mac settled into Harm's arms. While what they had done was nice, Mac knew it wouldn't have given Harm the release he needed. In fact, she realised it had been a long while since Harm had truly let go. Yes, he had climaxed but there was a difference between that and truly letting go – something he had done freely up until the time her endometriosis had become an issue.

With her thoughts stirring her up, Mac rolled onto Harm and kissed him thoroughly once more.

"You may have to give me a few more minutes," he managed breathlessly. "Not as young as I used to be."

Pulling Harm with her, Mac rolled over, leaving him on top of her and locking her ankles around his legs lest he think twice about his new position.

"You've been amazing today," he said, leaning down and kissing her gently.

"You've been amazing since the day I met you," she said, linking her arms around his neck.

Harm grinned. "You know, I feel a million times better than I did this morning."

"I know how to make you feel better," she said, quirking an eyebrow and matching it with a smirk.

"Oh yeah, and how's that?" he questioned, knowing without a doubt it would involve remaining horizontal.

"Have sex with me," Mac said, tilting her head.

"Ah, I think we just did that," Harm reminded her.

"No, we just made love...and the last twenty or so times we've made love...Now, I think we should have sex," she said and she saw the confusion in her eyes. They never referred to their most intimate moments as sex; it was always equated to the love they shared.

"That's just..." he began to protest.

"You've been amazingly gentle and tender when it comes to sex recently and I love you forever for taking it easy with me, and still giving me what I needed, but when's the last time you got out of it what you needed?" she asked, keeping him in place when he went to move.

"I get what I need," he said, resting his weight on his forearms. "I get you...that's all I need."

"Remember the weekend the twins were conceived? That little B&B we stayed at before your deployment?" she questioned and Harm nodded. "Remember the second night – what you did? How you felt afterwards?" Harm nodded again; he remembered ... how could he forget?...he's been convinced ever since that's how they ended up with twins. "That's what I want for you...now..."

"The problem with that, Mac, is the pace is a lot faster and harder than what we've been doing," he said quietly.

"And?" she questioned. "I'm up for harder and faster."

"But..." he tried to protest but Mac shook her head.

Deciding on a different tactic, Mac moved her hands to his face. "Answer me honestly, do you want faster, harder sex?"

Not being able to lie to his wife, Harm nodded.

"Then let's go," she said and started proceedings.

Once again, Harm followed his wife's instructions and it wasn't long before his needs were being met in a more than satisfactory way. A couple of times, he slowed enough to check in with Mac and make sure she was still okay; she was, and so he kept going. Using their mouths to swallow the cries and moans of the other as their releases coincided, lest they wake the twins, Mac and Harm came down from their blissful high, Harm more satisfied than he had been in a long time.

Before he could speak, Mac pressed her finger to his lips and shook her head.

"Just sleep now," she said, shifting over before snuggling into him.

"Thank you," he whispered, knowing sleep would be imminent, thanks to her instructions, willingness and persistence.

Mac slept for thirty seven minutes and noting her husband still deep in slumber, she quietly slipped out of bed before showering and dressing once more. A quick peek into the opposite bedroom resulted in her seeing Harry stirring and she knew Rose wouldn't be asleep much longer either. They may not have been identical twins but they had so many identical habits it was spooky.

"Come on, little man," she whispered when Harry opened his eyes and saw her there. "You gonna come and sit with mommy for a minute?" Lifting the child from his bed, Mac sat with him in the rocking chair waiting for Rose. As she rocked, Harry nestled into her, his thumb finding his mouth rather than her breast, Mac took this a good thing.

Singing softly to her son, Mac looked up to find Rose standing in the crib looking at them. "Ah, my baby girl is awake too." Hitching Harry onto her hip, Mac moved to the crib and wrapped her other arm around Rose.

"Do we want to go have some ice cream?" she said quietly as she headed down the stairs, a child on each hip, glad Harm wasn't awake to comment. "Ice cream with topping and maybe some sprinkles if Grams has some? Hey? What do we say?"

Neither child showed much interest in the ice cream treat Mac was offering but she knew once they were fully awake things would be different; besides she really wanted ice cream and it wouldn't be fair just to get it for herself.

With fine manoeuvring, Mac was able to dish out three bowls of ice cream with the fixings, take them out to the porch, move the highchairs and settle the twins outside before sitting facing them and watching their happy smiles as they ate.

"You definitely have mommy's love for ice cream, don't you?" she asked both of them at once. Harm could take or leave it but Mac loved ice cream, especially when served by Harm in his famous sundaes...or served on Harm...

Harry 's face was covered in ice cream as Harm appeared at the back door, yawning and scratching his bare chest.

"You've got more on you than in you, Harry," Mac said as she went to wipe the child's face before realising Harm was watching. "Oh, I thought you'd be asleep for much longer."

"Missed you," he said, stretching.

Mac smiled and then pouted. When she'd needed sleep he'd stayed seven hours, she couldn't manage forty minutes. "Sorry!"

Harm smiled and shrugged, he knew it couldn't have been helped.

"Can I get you some ice cream?" she asked, finishing her clean up of Harry,

"No, thanks," he said, picking the boy up from his chair.

Five minutes later, the little family was on the sofa on the porch. Knowing everyone was still a little lacklustre in the summer heat; Mac sat at the end and had Harm lay on his back, his head resting on her lap. Harry lay on his father's chest while Rose ended up in Harm's arm, settled between his body and the back of the sofa.

It didn't take much for the twins to drift off once more and as he caressed their children, Mac massaged his head and very soon Harm was asleep once more. This time Mac didn't stop her ministrations. As her husband softly snored, she continued to run her fingers through his hair and massage his scalp. Every now and then, she leant down and kissed his head before continuing her task.

AN: There is declining interesting in this story with only an average of 8 reviews for each of the last three chapters and while there is much more written it doesn't really inspire me to continue to post it...this isn't a threat of any kind, just an observation.


	22. Chapter 22

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: Thanks for your supportive response to the last chapter, I will reply to you individually after I post this. As I said in my AN, it wasn't a threat, I have no intention of not completing the story as I am enjoying it so much. And, I would never leave loyal readers hanging as I hate that myself when you get invested in a story only to have the author move on to another story without completing the one you love. And I don't expect people to review every chapter as I know life doesn't work out that way. It's just that when you are doing your best and putting your heart into it, despite everything else going on, knowing that there are 300 odd hits but only 8 reviews you do get discouraged, well, I do anyway...Anyway, that's enough of all that... here's chapter 22...

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Just as Mac began to relax she spied Frank's hire car making its way up the driveway and she couldn't help but cringe. While she was glad to have them back, she really wanted Harm to be able to sleep – something he wouldn't do the moment he knew the others were home.

Seeing Lily wave frantically at her, Mac waved back before pressing her finger to her lips, then pointing at Harm. It did the trick and there was little noise accompanying their return home. Tiptoeing across the porch, Lily approached her family in silence.

"Hey pumpkin," Mac whispered, patting the arm of the sofa.

"Hi, mom," she whispered in return, climbing up and hugging her mother carefully.

"Did you have a good day?" she asked, wrapping an arm around her daughter to hold her securely.

"Yes!" she said enthusiastically but then grimaced when Harm stirred.

Mac went back to raking her fingers through his locks and Harm settled once more.

"Is daddy feeling better?" Lily asked, gently touching his hair.

"He is," Mac replied; at least she hoped he was.

Leaning her head against Mac's and snuggling in the best she could, Lily continued to play with Harm's hair, just as Mac was doing.

As quietly as possible, the three adults came up onto the porch but before they could speak Lily signalled for them to be quiet.

"Everything okay?" Trish asked, her eyes flitting from Mac to her son.

"Mommy said he's feeling better," Lily reported in hushed tones.

"Glad to hear it," said Grams as she opened the back door. "Can I get you some coffee, sweetheart?" she asked Mac.

With a shake of her head, Mac said, "No, thanks," she didn't want to disturb this lovely little scene just yet.

In the kitchen, Frank came to stand by Sarah who was gazing out the window at the family scene.

"He's a lucky man," Frank observed with a smile.

"He is indeed," Sarah said, with a relieved smile; she'd wondered if he'd ever get the family he was desperate for.

"What's got you two so engrossed?" asked Trish as she approached. "Oh, I thought so." Producing a camera, she took a couple of pictures of the MacKenzie-Rabb family. "Can't believe he finally got it."

"Got what, honey?" Frank asked, slipping his hand into his wife's.

"Got the family he always needed. This ..." she said tearfully, pointing out the window, "Was what I always wanted for him as a child ...but you know how fate intervened...I'm just so glad he finally got it."

"You gave him everything you could, Trish," Sarah said, patting her arm. "But it is wonderful to see him all grown up and settled down. Even if it's twenty years later than we thought he should."

"Yes," agreed Frank. "But something you have to realise is that twenty years ago he hadn't met Mac and that's why it hadn't happened. I've never seen two people who are so made for each other."

"It just took them a decade to figure that out," Trish said with a wry smile.

"Yes, but the wait was worth it," Frank said, kissing her head. "Any other circumstance and we wouldn't have those three beautiful grandchildren out there, and that would be a tragedy."

"When did you become so philosophical?" Trish asked, turning to look at her husband,

"Oh, probably the day I met you," he said, kissing her cheek.

As corny as it may have sounded, Frank was right. When he had met Trish Rabb, as she had been then, Frank was a widower. His wife of nineteen months, Mary, had been killed along with their three-month old daughter, Beth, in a train accident when on a visit to her parents. Frank, who had stayed home for work purposes, had spent the first two years existing in a fog. His days were spent is grey dreariness and often his night's were spent in an alcohol assisted haze.

He'd met Mary in the third grade and there had never been any doubt they would spend their lives together and he could not fathom why God would have done this to him. He saw no point to anything; he saw no point in living.

During his darkest moment, when he had been sitting in his living room with a bottle of whiskey and his gun, Frank tried to think of anything that he should keep living for. And, in his mind there was nothing; nothing that compared to his overwhelming urge to be reunited with his wife and baby girl.

Putting down his empty glass, Frank had picked up the revolver and taken off the safety. He felt the weight of it in his hands and saw the barrel through a teary haze. Lifting the weapon he had drawn several deep breaths before throwing it across the room and falling to the floor in a sobbing mess. He had realised that Mary would have been furious with him had he done it. She had always believed life was for the living and that only God had the power to give and take life. The last thing he wanted was Mary to be disappointed in him.

After that night, Frank had taken a couple of years to rebuild himself, to get back to being among the living; something which had been desperately difficult and painful. Not long after the fifth anniversary of their deaths, Frank had been introduced to Trish by a mutual friend at a birthday party. The first thing he had noticed was the lost and sad look in her eyes, and he just knew.

For the first year they had been friends, providing comfort and friendship in trying times. He'd met Harm a couple of times and the boy had been completely unimpressed but Frank had persisted in the friendship, after all, he was a daddy at heart, even though he no longer had a child.

In the second year, their friendship developed more romantic overtones and by the third they were in a relationship, much to Harm's displeasure. When they married, Harm stopped talking to them both for weeks. Now, Frank wasn't a fool, he knew he wasn't Trish's soulmate, just as she knew she wasn't his. But death changed things and both were comfortable in the relationship they had established.

It was this sort of understanding that had made him philosophical and soon his thoughts were interrupted by his wife.

"Are you okay?" she asked, caressing his face.

"Yes, I am," he reassured her. "Just thinking back to when I met you."

Trish smiled sadly at him; she knew he would have been thinking about Mary and Beth and the pain losing them had brought him. Just like the pain she'd experienced losing Harmon. She would be forever grateful that she had Frank in her life, he may not have been her soul mate but after 35 years together, he was definitely the love of her life.

"I love you," she said, kissing him briefly.

"I love you too," he replied, taking her in an embrace.

"Look!" Sarah said, pointing out the window and the two turned to see Lily still playing with Harm's hair. They watched as she leant down to place a kiss on his forehead, just as they had seen Mac do earlier. "That little girl is something special."

'Yes, she is," Trish agreed.

"She has such a love for her dad," Sarah continued.

"I think that's a Rabb trait," Trish replied, thinking of her son's undying love for his father.

"Maybe," she said with a smile. "But I think it has more to do with the fact she is the image of her mother and that woman is totally devoted to Harm."

"He's a very lucky man," Frank said.

And for a while longer they stood and watched.

Having been well rested on Saturday, Harm awoke early Sunday morning feeling refreshed and relaxed. Lying next to his wife, Harm considered all the jobs he had to do that morning and decided an early start, without the help of the children, would be advantageous.

Attempting to slip out of bed, Harm was thwarted by Mac's hand circling his wrist and pulling him back.

"Mmm," she moaned as she stretched. "It's 0519, where are you going?"

"I have a few things I want to do," he said, settling onto the edge if the bed.

"Am I one of those things?" she asked, fluttering her eyelashes and smiling at him.

He looked at her blankly for a moment before he realised what she was implying.

"Am I something you want to do?" she asked, clarifying things for him and Harm grinned before leaning across and kissing her – she had her reply.

It was 0630 before Harm managed to get out of bed on his second attempt. After very entertaining recreational pursuits and a short sleep, Harm left a sleeping Mac snuggling into his pillow. Showered and dressed, he poked his head into the children's bedroom and was surprised to find Lily's bed empty.

Hurrying downstairs, Harm did a quick search of the main rooms but failed to find her. Looking out on the back porch he found Frank drinking an early morning coffee.

"Morning, dad," he said quickly, doing a quick scan of the area. "Have..."

"Before you panic any further, son, you should know that young Lily is currently sleeping with your mother," he said, picking up his mug.

"Really? Why?" Harm questioned, sitting down on the sofa.

"She came in about an hour ago, said she'd had a bad dream and wanted to sleep with us," Frank reported, looking over at Harm.

"Why didn't she come to us?" he asked, though it then struck him what they were doing an hour ago and his cheeks flushed,

From Harm's reaction and Lily's words, Frank's suspicions were confirmed and he laughed.

"What?" asked Harm.

"Lily came in and said she went to go into your room but she thought you were praying and didn't want to interrupt," he said with a chuckle.

"Aha, praying," Harm muttered, not wanting to clarify.

"Yeah, she said all she heard was mommy saying 'oh God' and daddy saying 'sweet Jesus'. So your mother told her to climb in with us and not have her interrupt your, ah, worshipping," Frank said with a smirk.

"Ah, thanks...dad...appreciate it," Harm said, his cheeks still flushed. "Sorry she woke you, is that why you're up so early?"

"Pretty much; she was fine for the first twenty minutes but then started to spread out. She may only be little but she certainly can take up a lot of space," he said, taking his coffee once more.

"Yeah, she's just like her mother," he replied with a smile. "Did she steal the covers too?"

"Oh yeah," he replied. "That's what made me give up in the end."

"Sorry," Harm said again.

"Don't worry about it, son," he said. "It's all the little things that make up the good memories of life."

Fetching coffee for himself and grabbing some of Grams extra special cookies for them both, Harm returned to the porch and sat alongside Frank.

"Cookies for breakfast, Harm?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "Not really your style."

"I know...but it's the little things that make up the good memories..." he said with a grin.

For a while the men sat and watched the sun rise enjoying the cookies and each other's company, before Harm steered the conversation into a more business one. Over the next hour they discussed the financial implications of Harm and Mac retiring and taking over the farm. Frank had great business acumen and Harm was keen for any advice and guidance he could get. In the end, Frank had offered to run it all by his business manager when he returned to La Jolla and get back to him.

"You know your biggest issue will be forward planning," Frank said as he took the last cookie. "Most men working farms do so from childhood and by the time they reach 60, 65, they're looking to hand it over. By the time you're settled here you'll be 50, and it could take the best part of a decade to get it working the way you want...what happens then?"

Harm thought about it, Frank was right. The farm would be a going concern just as Harm should be contemplating retiring from the workforce He didn't want all their hard work to go to waste and he couldn't expect the kids to want to take over the place, besides by the time Harm was 65, Lily would be 24 and the twins only 19.

"Well, that's something we'll consider too," Harm finally said. "I know Mike Anderson's kid has been helping out for the last couple of years, so he may want to help out for a bit longer."

Both men were caught up in their own thoughts when Harm's cell buzzed with an incoming message. It was from Mattie:

Harm, change of plans again – sorry! We can get there today, probably around 4:00. Still okay?

Immediately Harm replied with just one word: 'Definitely!!!'

Sunday morning was spent at the local church service and Harm did his best to avoid his daughter fearing she'd ask about the 'praying' she'd overheard. While Mac was aware something was a little off, particularly when he all but packed Lily into Frank's car, rather than theirs, she didn't say anything...she would leave it until after the service.

Driving back to the farm with the twins chattering happily to each other in the back and Lily off with her grandparents and great grandmother, Mac turned in her seat to watch her husband.

"So, what's up with you and Lily today?" she asked and saw him swallow hard.

"Was I that obvious?" he asked scrunching up his face and hoping his daughter hadn't realised.

"Very," Mac said. "So, what is it?"

"I wasn't too keen on having Lily discuss the topic of prayer, especially at church," he said, keeping his eyes fixed on the road.

"I would have thought church and prayer would go hand-in-hand," she replied, her brow creasing.

"Well..." he started and Mac cringed....this was going to be about sex, she just knew it. "Our daughter spent the last few hours this morning sleeping with my parents, or rather my mother."

"And why was that?" Mac asked before the realisation hit her. "Oh no!"

"Oh yes," he said, turning to her and smiling. "She heard some things like 'Oh God' and 'sweet Jesus' and decided not to interrupt our praying..."

"So she went to your parents instead," Mac said, gritting her teeth. If Lily had gone to her grandparents and Harm had been avoiding his daughter it meant that the only way he knew what Lily had thought is if someone told him...someone who wasn't Lily.

"Dad," Harm said, reading her mind. "He was out on the porch when I went looking for the child. Lily had taken up a lot of space, then the covers...then he left."

"Oh God," she muttered.

"You praying again?" he asked with a laugh.

"Praying I don't die of embarrassment when I see your parents," she said before sighing deeply.

"They won't say anything," he reassured her.

"It doesn't matter – I know that they know that we...were 'praying'," she said, realising the twins were in the back and at a wonderful stage where they repeated the very words you didn't want them to.

"'Praying' is a natural thing between husband and wife, nothing to be ashamed about," he said, reaching across and taking her hand.

"I know but ..." she trailed. Logically she knew that all the adults knew she and Harm had a sexual relationship, however, knowing it happened and knowing when it was happening were two different things.

"Would you rather Lily had just opened the door and come in?" Harm asked and Mac shook her head. Perhaps your in-laws knowing when you were having sex was only marginally less mortifying than your seven year old catching you in the act.


	23. Chapter 23

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

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By midafternoon Harm restlessness about Mattie's impending visit had grown. He'd heard a lot about Colin over recent months and was starting to believe his mother's theory that this was more than a 'meet the parents' trip. Busying himself in the barn, Harm tried to think of the questions he should ask which wouldn't have him come off as the Neanderthal Mac had warned him about.

Deciding he should approach the situation more as a defence counsel rather than a prosecuting one, Harm formulated questions which would appear supportive but would uncover any information the young man was concealing. He'd just need to make sure Mac wasn't within hearing range when he asked; she'd spot his plan a mile away.

"Daddy! Daddy!" Lily ran into the barn screaming. "Mattie's coming! Mattie's coming!"

Grabbing his daughter, Harm hoisted her up onto his hip. Not because she needed it, but because he need to do it. He needed something to hold onto, to occupy himself, to calm himself.

"I can walk, dad," Lily protested with a wriggle.

"I know," he replied, kissing her head. "Just let me carry you."

"Okay," she said with a sigh before looping her arms around his neck and squeezing.

"You'll always be daddy's girl, won't you?" he asked as they waited for Mattie to park the car.

"Yes, daddy!" she replied, kissing him on the cheek.

The first thing that struck Harm about Colin Bates was how nervous the younger man looked, reinforcing the theory this visit was about something more. Although, he did have to concede that meeting a girl's parents for the first time, along with her three siblings, grandparents and great grandmother might be more than your normal situation.

"Harm, Lily, this is Colin," Mattie said with a wave of her hand as she embraced and kissed them both.

"Sir," Colin said offering his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you. You too, Lily."

"Hi, Colin," Lily said shyly, dropping her head onto Harm's shoulder.

"Welcome," Harm said, shaking his hand. "It's great to finally meet you."

"You too, sir," he said as Mattie entwined her fingers through his, trying to alleviate his nervousness.

"Come on in, Colin, and meet everyone else," she said, tugging him along.

Between their arrival and dinner, the conversation was light and pretty basic, covering jobs, sports, the weather and general family details. After dinner Harm went out to the barn to finish his earlier job and Colin asked if he could join him.

"Not running well?" Colin asked as Harm bent over the tractor engine.

"No, it's not braking as well as it should," Harm replied. "It's not had much use of late."

Silently both men scanned the engine and components before Colin spoke again.

"Think I spot the problem," he started after returning to the front end of the tractor. "This tractor has mechanical brakes operated by a linkage and cam system instead of a master/slave fluid system you usually see. See there..." he said, pointing to the rear axles. "They work independently, so they can be used to steer the tractor in tight corners or to reverse the direction of travel. The brake pedals also interlock for road travel, so that one pedal is not accidentally engaged by itself, causing the tractor to spin while traveling at a high speed. With a good clean and proper lubrication, it should work like a dream."

"Did you swallow a tractor maintenance guide, Colin?" Harm asked, very impressed.

"No, sir, just basic knowledge...well, when you grow up on a farm anyway," he replied.

"So, what's a farm boy doing working in New York City?" Harm asked as Colin picked up the wrench and started work.

"You know what it's like, sir, when you're young everything looks bigger and brighter. I couldn't wait to get off the farm and to the hustle and bustle of city life. Now, I wonder what the attraction was," he said, continuing to work away.

"I know the feeling," Harm replied. For years he thought nothing of this farm, his mind too filled with Tomcats and finding his father. Now, he couldn't see a future which didn't involve the farm and its surrounding fields.

There was a growing silence and Harm decided that he liked the younger man and would help him out.

"So, what are your plans?" he asked and Colin nearly dropped the wrench.

"Sir?" he questioned, standing up.

"What are your plans with your career? Are you planning on staying in New York, going back to Iowa?" he asked, noting Colin's increasing nervousness. "With my daughter?"

"Um, yes, well, sir, I, uh, well, you see, I, uh..." He stumbled over his words, his thoughts scrambled.

"Take a breath, son," Harm said, taking a step closer and patting him on the shoulder.

"I love Mattie very much and I believe she loves me too. We want to move in together but I told her I'd only do it after I had met you and Mrs Rabb as I believe a man and woman should be truly committed to each other before living together and the reason for that was that I wanted to take the opportunity to ask for your permission to ask Mattie to marry me. Now, I wouldn't presume to answer for her but I believe she'll say yes and I know about her parents and how you and your wife are all she has and I know she thinks of you as her father and I thought it was only right to ask you...for your permission..." he rambled before Harm put his hand up and signalled stop.

"You have my permission to ask," Harm said, patting his shoulder again. "But I do have to warn you..."

"I know, sir. If I do anything wrong you will kick my butt, sir. I am well aware of that," he replied quickly.

"That I will do, Colin, but it's nothing compared to what my wife, a marine colonel, will do to you," he said raising an eyebrow.

Colin swallowed hard; he had been so focussed on Mattie's father, he'd forgotten about her mother.

"And another thing, Colin," Harm said, wiping his hands on the rag he had with him.

"Yes, sir, anything, sir," he answered quickly.

"I think you should call me Harm."

Monday dawned on the farm and was rather hectic. Sarah Rabb sat back in her chair at the breakfast table and looked at the hive of activity around her. Sometimes for weeks, the only human contact she'd have was a daily visit by one of the Anderson's from next door. Now, she was one of ten in the busy household and she couldn't have been happier, even though all the activity had left her somewhat exhausted.

"Are you all right, Grams?" Lily asked, standing beside the old woman.

"Yes, I am, honey," she replied, kissing the child's head. "Why do you ask?"

"You just looked like you were going to cry," she said, gently touching her great grandmother's face.

Lily's comment had been noted by both Harm and Mac and they watched on surreptitiously.

"I think I might," Sarah replied in a whisper, caressing the child's face.

"Are you sad?" she asked, nestling in closer.

"No, child, far from it. I'm the happiest I can remember being," she answered, placing a kiss on Lily's head.

"Why cry if you're happy?" Lily probed; sometimes grownups just didn't make much sense.

"Because sometimes, when you finally get everything you ever wanted, it makes you so happy you feel like crying tears of joy," she said quietly and though Lily didn't really understand she nodded anyway.

"Sometimes I cry when I get really tired," Lily said. "Are you tired?"

"Yes, I am," Sarah replied. "It's been a very busy few weeks and noisy to boot."

"Maybe we can all go out for a while and you can have peace and quiet. Dad always wants peace and quiet after we've been busy and noisy," she said and Mac suppressed a laugh.

"But then I'd miss you," Sarah said, hugging the child to her. She'd had way too many years of peace and quiet in this house, now she wanted to make the most of each and every moment.

Early in the afternoon, Mac decided to give Grams a break from all the activity and suggested they take a walk and do a little exploring. Harm declined, saying he had some work he wanted to get done on the tractor and Colin promptly offered to help. When Frank also declined in favour of some quiet time with his wife, Lily declared it a good idea and then it could be a 'girls only' walk.

"What about Harry?" asked Mac as she filled some water bottles.

"He's a boy," Lily replied. "He can stay with the boys."

"Me walk," Harry interjected tugging on Mac's top.

"No, you stay with dad," Lily informed him.

"Walk!" he said louder.

Not wanting an argument over something so trivial, Harm picked up his son and kissed his head.

"How about you come help daddy and Colin with the tractor?" he said and Harry grinned widely.

Tractors were good fun...especially really big ones to play on.

With hats, sunscreen on and water bottles in a backpack, Mac, Mattie, Lily and Rose set off down through the fields stopping every now and then to explore some of Mother Nature's finer points. Meanwhile, Harm, Colin and Harry went into the barn and got the tractor in perfect running order before turning their attention to some of the smaller equipment and tools which were showing their age and lack of use. While the men worked steadily, Harry was content to play with an assortment of 'safe' tools Harm had set out for him.

An hour or so into their walk and on the final leg with the old farmhouse visible as a spot on the horizon, the girls came across a small rocky outcrop which overlooked the stream Harm had fished in as a boy. Sitting down with Rose safely tucked under her arm, Mac got out the water bottles and they spent time rehydrating and taking in the lovely views.

"It's so perfect here," said Mattie with a deep sigh.

"It is," Mac agreed.

"I could stay here forever," Mattie continued. "So much better than the city."

"That's our plan," Mac said, scanning the horizon.

"What?" she asked, turning to face the woman who was now the only mother she had.

"Harm and I decided that it was time to retire and set up our future... and it's here we want to do it," Mac said with a smile.

"That's amazing," said Mattie. "It would be wonderful to live here."

"That's what we're thinking," she said, her smile growing. "We haven't finalised anything yet but I'm thinking that we should put in an air strip down in the rear fields...Harm says he'll work the farm but I know him, he'll miss flying too much. Besides, we could put up a hangar and bring the Stearman here. Harm would be in his element."

Looking over at Mattie, Mac realised the young woman was in tears.

"Hey, honey, what is it?" she asked.

"That's what I'd like," Mattie said. "I really miss Blacksburg...the planes...everything."

As Mac went to move across to embrace the younger woman she heard an unmistakeable cracking sound. Grabbing hold of her two children she braced herself for what she knew was going to follow. Within seconds the rocky outcrop gave way and the group tumbled down with the small avalanche.

In the barn, Harm was replacing the case on the rotary cutter slasher as Colin finished replacing the last of the handles on the shovels.

"Daddy!" Harry called and Harm looked up to find the boy with grease across his face. "Me fix it!" He held up the shifter and his toy truck.

"Clever boy," said Harm making his way to the child.

"This is the best place for a kid," Colin said, hanging the shovels back up. "So much to do."

"I think so," Harm agreed. "It's why Mac and I going to retire and move here. We should be living here permanently by winter, spring at the latest."

"Wow! That's great," Colin said enthusiastically. "No better place to be."

"Do you want to return to farming?" Harm asked, hoisting Harry up on his hip.

"Yeah, I do," he said wistfully.

"In Iowa?" Harm asked, his stomach dropping. New York was one thing but Mattie living in Iowa was something else.

"I'd like too, but I don't think Mattie would," he replied. "She'd be too far from you all."

A plan started to form in Harm's head.

Before he could voice it, he heard his mother screaming his name from just outside the house. Racing out of the barn with Harry in his arms and Colin in close pursuit, Harm looked towards the fields were his mother was gesturing wildly.

"Mom, what?" he asked, not seeing what she was looking at.

"Lily! That's Lily. By herself!" she shouted, though he was right next to her.

Looking again, Harm saw his daughter running through the fields as fast as her legs could carry her.

Throwing Harry at his mother, Harm took off towards Lily and Colin followed his lead. It took him seven minutes to cover the ground to get to his daughter and when he did he scooped her up – both of them breathless.

"What... happened?" he asked, breathing heavily. It was then he noticed the scratches and blood over her arms and legs.

"The rock ...fell," she said still panting. "We were ...sitting ...and it ... fell."

"Is mommy okay?" he asked as he carried his daughter back in the direction she had come.

"Her back's... sore," she reported, holding onto him as his pace increased.

"And Mattie?" Colin asked keeping pace beside them.

"Mattie hurt her ...knee but mommy said ...Rose is okay," she reported.

"And you came to get daddy by yourself?" he asked, even though it was obvious.

"Yes," Lily panted. "Mommy said no ... that she'd do it ... but she couldn't really get up ... so I ran to get you. I won't be in trouble, will I?"

"No, baby, of course not. You are very brave," he replied, fighting the tears welling up, realising his daughter would have run a fair distance for little legs especially after just recovering from two broken ankles.


	24. Chapter 24

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: I know you don't like being left with a cliffhanger, so here is the quick update! Although in my defence, it wasn't a cliffhanger as such...more a cliff collapse xox

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With Lily's general pointing and description of where they had been, Harm was able to quickly figure out where they would be. As they neared the spot he yelled for Mac and was totally relieved when she called back. Coming to the edge, Harm looked down at where the rocky outcrop had been and saw his wife and daughters about six metres below.

Quickly scanning the area, he tried to find a place to safely climb down, he couldn't.

"Sweetheart, how did you get up?" he asked Lily, setting her on the ground beside him.

"I ran down there," she said, pointing a little further upstream. "And then I could climb up."

Harm kissed her head and thanked god she'd inherited her mother's marine intuition.

"Stay here," Harm said looking from Lily to Colin. He didn't want his daughter in anymore danger.

Racing down the edge and scaling down the rock face, it took Harm little time before he was crouching next to his wife.

"Are you okay?' he asked, kissing her head.

"Yeah, my back's sore but I can walk," she replied. "I didn't want Lily to go by herself but I couldn't get myself up and then she just took off."

"Are you okay, Mattie?" he asked, turning to face the young woman but still holding Mac's hand.

"I busted my knee," she said. "I can't bend my leg."

"How's your neck and back?" he asked very mindful of her previous injuries and just how debilitating they had been.

"Yeah, they're good. It's just my knee," she said, struggling to sit up.

"She's good. Colin!" Harm yelled up to Colin. "It's just her knee." He could hear the sigh of relief from where he was.

"I love you, Mattie," he yelled down.

"Love you too," she replied, trying to crane her neck to smile at him.

"What about Rose?" he asked, noting his youngest daughter wasn't moving.

"Rose is taking her nap," Mac said with a chuckle. "She has barely a scratch on her."

"That child sleeps anywhere, anytime, doesn't she?" Harm asked with a shake of his head.

"Yeah, she's pretty resilient," Mac said, very appreciative of the fact Rose had settled for her nap quickly as Mac was in no state to chase after the child down here.

Grabbing his cell and hoping for coverage, Colin called the farm house and a frantic Sarah answered it. Quickly assuring them that everyone was okay, Colin organised for Frank to drive out to them as walking wasn't an option. He then asked Sarah to call for a doctor, assuring her they just needed a check up rather than hospital treatment which would mean an hour long trip.

While he wanted to go down and sit with Mattie, Colin knew someone had to stay up top to direct Frank to their location, so he settled for calling Mattie's phone and telling her how much he loved her and wanted to hold her.

Knowing they needed lots of room, Frank had pulled out the twins car seats before driving Harm's vehicle through the fields and towards the point Colin had given him. Seeing the man in the distance, waving, Frank drove up to him before parking the car and opening the doors, ready for their passengers.

Leaving Lily with her grandfather, Colin scaled the drop to help Harm bring the others up. Putting Lily in the very back of the vehicle, Frank stood at the top waiting for Harm to bring a sleepy Rose up. Taking the child, Frank put her in with her sister before closing the back and ensuring neither of them got out.

On Mac's insistence, Harm and Colin picked Mattie up and carefully carried her back up to the vehicle. When they arrived, they tried to sit her in the front seat, only to find her leg wouldn't bend. Their next effort was to slide her across the backseat so her leg could remain extended. Once this was done, it was easy to see her problem. Her knee had swollen like a balloon beneath her denim jeans and this had added to her inability to flex her knee.

Given the torn and bloody mess her jeans now were, Mattie had no hesitation in asking Frank to grab the scissors from the first aid kit and cut up the leg of them. Once he had done so, the knee ballooned out even more but the release of pressure on it made it feel just slightly better.

"My legs are fine," Mac insisted as the men went to lift her up.

"Don't argue," Harm said quietly.

"Harm, please," she said, "I can walk. I just had trouble bending to get myself up and if you carry me it'll just put more strain on my lower back. Seriously, I just need a little help, not to be carried."

Following her request, Harm wrapped an arm around her waist, being mindful of the pressure on her back. Colin picked up the backpack and other discarded belongings before walking alongside her, offering her his arm to lean on as they slowly inched their way up the incline.

With great care and caution, Mac slid into the front seat of the vehicle, Harm slowly lifting her legs and easing her into the seat before closing the door. Opening the rear passenger door, Colin deposited their belongings on the floor behind the driver, before closing it, going to the other side and easing into the back seat. Half sitting, half kneeling on the floor, Colin leant across and gently kissed the woman he knew would one day be his wife.

"You gave me such a fright," he said, kissing her once more.

"Sorry!" she replied tearfully. She'd been fine until he sat next to her.

"You in much pain?" he asked, caressing her face.

"Aha," she said with a nod. "But it'll be fine," she reassured him. Right now it hurt like hell but it was nothing compared to what she'd been through before and she was tough.

Realising space was at a minimum, Harm opened up the back of the vehicle and climbed in with his youngest daughters. Picking up Rose, Harm settled next to Lily and wrapped his arm around her as Frank shut the door before driving back to the farm house very cautiously.

Noting Lily's quietness and pallor, Harm caressed her face. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"My ankles are sore, daddy," she said, leaning further into him. "And I'm tired."

"That's because of your big run," he said, stroking her arm. "You were very brave."

Lily smiled. She liked being brave like her mommy and daddy.

"Can I have one of your special sundaes tonight?" she asked hopefully, surely bravery equated to rewards.

"You can have anything you like, Lily. Absolutely anything."

Upon returning to the farmhouse, the living room had been turned into a makeshift ER and despite Mac's protests, she gave in and allowed Harm to carefully clean the wounds visible on her face and arms. Seeing bloodstains on her tee, Harm went to lift her shirt before Mac stopped him.

"Don't think now's the time or place," she sassed, her hand covering his.

"No, I just wanted to check..." he said before realising what she'd meant.

"You can't undress me here," she reminded him, not with Colin and Frank hovering nearby.

"Okay," he conceded. He knew once the doctor had been, Mac would probably want a shower and he'd be able to tend to her then.

Moving away from Mac and the armchair she was in, Harm went to the sofa where Lily was laying. Brushing her hair from her face, Harm was starting to wonder whether her fatigue was due to her exertion or something else.

"Are you sure nothing else hurts, Lily?" he asked kneeling beside her and kissing her head.

"I'm sure, dad," she replied. "I just feel really tired and my ankles hurt."

Moving down, Harm carefully removed her trainers and socks before lifting her feet and placing them on a pile of cushions. Taking the icepacks his mother had made, Harm wrapped them around her ankles and kissed her head once more. When she didn't really react to the icy chill, Harm's concern grew. This was something he'd have to discuss with the doctor.

Rose was sitting in the next armchair, Harry by her side. She had fared the best out of all of them and Harm was sure it was due to Mac's actions as they fell. Sarah carefully washed out the small wounds Rose had on her hands, her only injuries, before applying special Disney bandaids and kissing them.

"Me too!" said Harry holding out his hand for a bandaid and Sarah happily complied.

Turning around to Mattie, Harm found her lying on her back on the mattress which had been put in the living room for her and Colin's bed. Her knee was already wrapped in a huge icepack and Colin had cleaned most of the scratches she had received. He watched as Colin moved so Mattie could rest her head in his lap and he knew then that Colin was the good and decent man he believed him to be.

The doctor's visit was prolonged and extensive and Mac couldn't help but feel that the young doctor missed the demands of his previous city hospital experiences. By the time he had finished there was a long list of do's and don'ts for Mac and Mattie. After Lily had slept for a bit before his visit, she was feeling much better and aside for some extra TLC and monitoring, the doctor declared their little hero to be okay.

Going to bed later that night, Harm watched as Mac tried to take of her shirt off only to grimace as a spasm hit.

"Here, let me do it," he said, pulling off the garment before undoing her jeans and helping her out of them. Unhooking her bra, Harm gently eased it off her before assisting her to put her nightgown on. "You have quite a number of bruises on your back, honey," he observed.

"Yeah, I think it was from pulling the girls into me and covering them, I copped a whole lot of falling rocks onto my back," she said, stretching gingerly.

Harm fought with his emotions, he could have easily lost any one or all four of them today had things not gone so well. It was the first time he'd allowed himself to think of anything so negative about the experience.

"It's not too bad," she said caressing his face and misreading the emotions. "Even the doctor said a couple of days and I'll be fine."

"I know," he said with a nod, closing his eyes to hide the tears.

"Hey," she said, tugging him back and wrapping her arms around his waist. "I'm fine, we're all fine."

"I know," he repeated kissing her head and holding her carefully. "It just..."

"Could have gone a whole lot differently?" she offered when he seemed lost for words and Harm nodded. "I know. We were very lucky."

The only certainties Harm knew as they got into bed was that he wanted to hold onto Mac forever and that he wouldn't get much sleep. Easing herself into the most comfortable position she could, Mac rested her hand on Harm's bare chest and took in a deep breath, grimacing at the pain it caused. Exhausted, sore and feeling safe in her husband's arms, Mac soon fell into a deep sleep. Harm remained awake; his mind replaying the day, concluding each scenario with an increasingly worse outcome. It was then he realised the plan he had come up with in the barn earlier in the day must become a reality.

In the early hours, Mac had woken enough to reposition herself and this time she was facing away from Harm. As he lay there, he listened to the sounds emanating from the old house. It was comforting that those creaks and groans were the same ones which he had experienced as a boy; a sign that some things never change.

Amid the sounds of the pipes groaning, a shutter knocking a window, a dog in the distance and wind blowing in and around the farm, Harm picked up on something else. At first he put it down to an animal outside but he soon realised it was coming from within the house. Sliding out of bed, Harm padded across the hall and into his children's room only to find Lily on the floor near the door crying.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked, bending down to scoop her up.

"I don't feel well, daddy," she cried burying her head into his chest.

"What sort of not well?" he asked, sitting on the bed and holding her on his lap.

"Everything hurts," she said, tears streaming down her face.

Scanning his daughter's body he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary but then realised the lack of light in the room could be the cause of that. Quickly, he carried the child downstairs and to the kitchen, watching as she cringed and hid her face as he turned on the light.

"It's okay, it's okay," he reassured her, though the truth was he wasn't at all sure what was happening.

Seeing the kitchen light go on, Colin came out of the living room and shut the door behind him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Harm said to the young man as he stood in front of him.

"Wasn't really sleeping...Mattie keeps moaning as she moves and I hate seeing her in pain," he said, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Everything alright here?"

"Lily's not well," Harm reported.

With a quick discussion and an exchanging of places, Colin sat at the table with Lily in his lap as Harm ran his hands over the child checking for any injury they may have missed earlier. Finding nothing amiss, Harm ran his fingers through her hair and Lily flinched so violently she nearly gave Colin a bloody nose. With great care, Harm gently inspected Lily's head and both men were stunned to find a very small stone embedded in her scalp above her right ear; a pool of congealed blood and matted hair were concealed by her dark messy locks and the fact that there had been no baths that night due to the fatigue caused by the day's accident.

"Concussion," suggested Colin as he soothingly stroked Lily's arm and Harm nodded. A blow hard enough to embed the stone in his daughter's head would have been enough to cause the fatigue he had seen earlier, the pain, and the photosensitivity.

Knowing they would need medical intervention and an x-ray, Harm phoned the doctor and he said he would meet them at the hospital and have someone on hand to do the necessary tests. After Harm returned from dressing, Colin offered to come, reasoning that someone would have to sit with Lily in the back and keep a check on her. While Harm agreed it was a good suggestion, he didn't like the idea of leaving Mattie and Mac without a strong male to help them get up should the need arise.

"I'll come with you," Frank said, surprising the both of them.

It was four before they were headed down the driveway and, as they departed, Harm offered a silent prayer that Mac wouldn't kill him when she found out that he had let her sleep through this whole episode.

It was 7:30 as Frank drove back up the driveway, Harm in the back seat with his daughter as per Lily's instruction. She was snuggled into him and both were asleep after a long night.

"Your wife's on the porch, son, and I don't think that's a 'happy to see you' smile," Frank commented as he pulled on the handbrake. Mac was down at the car before Frank could open the back door.

Getting up only thirty minutes earlier, Mac was surprised to find Harm missing, then her daughter missing from her bed. Figuring they were already downstairs, Mac had thrown on a robe and headed down only to spot Colin and Trish sitting at the table both looking quite serious.

"What's wrong?" she'd asked without greeting.

Quietly, Colin informed her of the happenings in the night and tried to reassure her that everything was really okay and that's why Harm hadn't felt it necessary to wake her.

"I appreciate your efforts, Colin," she'd said sharply. "But there is no way it was okay not to wake me. I should be there with her."

"I know, Mac, but Harm believed you needed your rest too, he seemed quite distressed about the whole thing," Colin had said, hoping he was saying the right thing.

In an instant, Mac's anger diminished. Harm had only been doing what he'd been doing for the last few months; looking after everything when she was not really in a position to help. While she would definitely be speaking to him about not telling her later, she wouldn't let it cloud the concern she had for her daughter, and for her husband.

As she opened the door, Mac took in her sleeping daughter and her husband's apologetic face.

"Sorry I didn't wake you," were his first words and Mac just nodded.

"Is she okay?" she asked, rubbing her daughter's leg.

"Yeah, she has a mild case of concussion..." he began, shifting the child in an effort to extract them both from the vehicle.

"Concussion? But she didn't hit her head," Mac protested, reaching in and helping to guide them out.

"No, but she was hit on the head by a rock in the fall and it embedded a small fragment above her ear," he reported. Lily stirred and hooked her arms around her father's neck.

"Oh God!" Mac exclaimed. How could they have missed that?

"The doctor got it out, cleaned the area, took some x-rays and all looks good. No permanent damage. She just has to take it easy for the next few days and we have to monitor her," Harm continued to explain as he cleared the car.

"And is she okay?" Mac asked again, not really knowing what she expected him to say.

"Lily's a lot better than when I found her on the floor this morning," he said with a deep sigh. "She's just exhausted now."

"Is she allowed to sleep?" Mac asked stroking her daughter's face.

"Yeah, doctor said it's probably the best thing given her lack of sleep last night. We just have to rouse her every now and then to make sure she is actually sleeping," he said trying to stifle a yawn.

"I think sleep's the best for you too," Mac said, leaning up to kiss his cheek, a gesture which surprised him.

"Yeah," he said with another yawn. "I might just put her in our bed and join her after I get something to eat and drink."


	25. Chapter 25

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

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Trish sat beside the bed as Lily slept while her father was downstairs eating breakfast and talking with his wife. When Harm had finished and changed for bed once more, he slipped in beside his daughter and wrapped a protective arm around her waist.

"You don't have to stay, mom," Harm said as he settled into the bed.

"You just hush and go to sleep," she replied sternly. "I'll go when I'm sure you're both sleeping soundly."

Harm smiled wearily. He wasn't in the mood to argue and he understood that this whole experience had given everyone a scare.

Half an hour later, Trish finally made her way down to the kitchen, reassured they were both sleeping contently.

"Given up babysitting?" Frank asked as he brought her a cup of coffee.

"For now," she said with a sigh.

"Are they okay?" Mac asked, getting to her feet.

"I think so," Trish replied, tugging her arm so she'd sit back down. "They're both asleep."

After an hour, Mac trekked up the stairs to check on the pair. Quietly creeping into the room she watched them sleep for a bit before deciding Lily looked uncomfortable. Harm had a tight grip on her and every time she moved he seemed to tighten that grip.

Unhooking her husband's arm, Mac allowed Lily to resettle before placing Harm's arm back around her. Instantly the arm tightened and Lily stirred. Slowly she opened her eyes.

"Daddy's squishing me," she protested sleepily. Mac smiled and stroked her hair.

"Daddy's trying to keep you safe," Mac whispered, kneeling beside the bed to kiss her daughter, leaning over hurt too much.

"But he's squishing and squashing me, mommy," she protested, tears filling her eyes.

"Okay, pumpkin," Mac said, getting to her feet. "Tell daddy you're going to the bathroom and hop up."

"But I don't need the bathroom," Lily replied with a yawn.

"I know, but daddy will let you go," she responded from personal experience.

"Daddy, I need the bathroom," Lily said and Harm's grip loosened and Lily slipped from his grasp.

Getting up, Lily stood by the bed and watched Mac slip in beside her husband before she joined them. This time, Harm's firm grip was around his wife and Mac was able to hold Lily in a way that would actually let the child breathe.

It didn't take Lily all that long to fall back asleep and Mac took the time to study her daughter's face. No matter how many times she looked at her child she could never quite believe the beautiful, amazing girl was truly hers. After years of reproductive challenges and pretty much giving up on the idea of having her own child, it always took her breath away when she realised just how blessed she had been to have had this child.

Carefully, Mac raked her fingers through Lily's brown locks and couldn't help the tears which formed as she discovered the site of Lily's injury. It could have all gone so differently yesterday and the fact that Lily had raced to the farmhouse after sustaining her injury filled Mac with both pride and fear...fear that the child was too much like her and acted without consideration for her own condition. If she did this at seven, who knows what she would be doing at 17 or 27 or beyond.

"I'm okay, mommy," Lily said, reaching up and brushing the tears from Mac's face. "But I am hungry."

"That's because you've only had your dad's sundae since lunch yesterday," Mac said pressing a kiss onto her forehead.

After a few yawns and tentative stretches, Mac decided she should get up and feed her little heroine. As she went to move, the door opened slowly and Trish appeared.

"Oh, we're awake," she whispered, padding towards Lily's side of the bed.

"Yes," Lily replied. "And hungry!"

"Well, you are your mother's daughter," Trish said with a quiet laugh.

"We were just about to get up," Mac said and slowly lifted Harm's arm.

Looking at her son, Trish knew the minute he was in bed alone he would wake and what he really needed right now was sleep and love.

"I could see to Lily, honey, if you want to stay here for a bit," she said, nodding towards her son.

"Is it okay for Grandma to get you something?" Mac asked and Lily nodded. "Okay then, give me a kiss."

Lily obliged and soon there was only husband and wife left in the bed. Rolling very gingerly, Mac turned to face her husband and was rewarded by a kiss he pressed onto her head. Snaking her arm around his waist, Mac leaned into him and inhaled deeply before releasing it in a huge sigh, her mind starting to run all over the place.

Why was it they couldn't have a simple vacation without drama?

Why was it that nothing was ever easy?

How close had she come to losing her daughter?

How close had Harm come to losing them all?

What would have happened had the girls been further away from her on the outcrop?

What would have happened had Mattie reinjured her back?

When were things going to be easy for them?

When were the good times going to come and stay?

All the thoughts, fears and tears soon left Mac exhausted and she fell asleep safely pressed into her husband.

It was only an hour later when Harm stirred and was surprised to find his wife substituting for his daughter. He tried to think back and remembered something about the bathroom and figured Mac had crept into the bed then.

Pulling back slightly, Harm raised his hand and pushed back the hair covering her face. It was then he discovered the tear stained face of his wife. Even in sleep her thoughts had brought her nothing but distress.

Kissing her head a couple of times caused Mac to stir and rather than let her go back to sleep, Harm made sure to rouse her.

"Honey, hey?" he whispered, stroking her face. "How are you doing?"

"K," she muttered, her eyes fluttering closed.

"Mac, gorgeous, wake up," he pressed, "I want to talk to you."

"Mmm," she replied forcing her eyes open.

"You okay?" he asked, his thumb swiping over the swell of her cheek.

"Yeah," she replied, taking a deep breath.

"You've been crying," he commented, caressing her face.

"Yeah," she admitted, she'd given up lying to him about such things years ago. "I was lying here and started thinking of all the 'what if's' and it got to me."

"Pretty scary stuff, isn't it?" he said, pressing a kiss to her head.

"Aha," she agreed, nodding when she couldn't find words.

"Can I ask what happened to our plucky little girl?" he questioned, holding her tight.

"I came to check on you both and you were squishing her, so we changed places and you squished me while I held her," Mac reported with a smile. "Then Lily was hungry and your mom came up and took her downstairs with her."

"Is she okay?" he asked, gazing at his wife.

"She seems to be," Mac replied. "She was awake, alert, hungry... all good signs."

"And are you sure you're okay? I didn't squish you too hard, did I?" he asked, kissing her nose.

"Things are improving...especially when I'm here with you," she replied, leaning in for a kiss.

Later that night after dinner, Colin asked to speak to Harm in private and the men made their way to the barn. Harm was both curious and concerned as they had already had the 'may I marry your daughter' talk and he wasn't sure what else there was.

"Sir," Colin began formally but one look from the man that would be the closest thing he had to a father-in-law he started again. "Harm...I haven't had the chance to propose to Mattie given the events of yesterday and was thinking I might leave it until we were back in the city...if that's okay?"

"Of course it's okay," Harm replied. "You just do it when the moment is right." Considering Harm had bought Mac's engagement ring four years before their first date, he certainly wasn't one to rush things.

"Okay, good..." he said, his nervousness increasing.

"What else is it, son?" Harm prompted.

"This is a pretty good place...the farm," he began slowly. "The land's good and with some planning and hard work could be running fully soon."

"Yes, I know," he agreed, wondering where this conversation was headed.

"Mattie is different here too...although I don't know whether it's the farm or being around the family or both...she's more settled, more content than I've ever seen her in the city," he continued.

Harm fought the smile that was desperate to break out.

"And I was sort of thinking that perhaps...if Mattie agrees to marry me....and if she wants to ... that we move here too...Not into the house but...ah...maybe build out back here somewhere....and um...I could work the farm and you and Mattie could do the airstrip thing down the back that Mac was talking about and ...well, I guess that's the essence of my thinking..." he said finally taking a breath.

Harm grinned widely... that was the exact scenario which had been developing in his head since the men had first spoken. He would love nothing more than Mattie and Colin living nearby and for him to have the chance to work with Mattie once again...the crop dusting days seemed so very long ago.

Not wanting to agree too easily, Harm nodded slowly.

"Well, when you discuss this with Mattie let me know...if she agrees then we can start making plans," he said standing up and approaching Colin.

"Don't you need to talk to Mac first...before you agree," Colin said.

"I'll talk to Mac but I know she'll say yes," he said...he knew as he they had spoken about it the first night Mattie and Colin had arrived.

The men shook hands before returning to the house both with heads filled with plans and ideas and dreams of a wonderful future. Their happiness lasted until they stepped through the back door and began heading to the living room. Coming from the living room and closing the door behind him, Frank held his hands up and directed them into the kitchen.

"Wouldn't go in there for a few minutes," Frank said as he set about making coffee.

"What's going on?" asked Harm, grabbing the milk from the fridge.

"Seems young Mattie is quite upset. She believed you were going to propose during this trip, Colin...and as you haven't done it and you're heading back to the city tomorrow, she feels it isn't going to happen," he said and Colin's eyes widened.

"She told you this?" Colin asked.

"Not me exactly, she seemed a little upset and Mac sat beside her and between the tears, this all came out," he reported. "So, I figured I'd come out and give you the heads up."

"Appreciate it," Colin said before looking at Harm. "No time like the present, hey?"

Harm nodded and patted him on the shoulder. Drawing a deep breath, Colin walked into the living room and went down on one knee beside the mattress Mattie and Mac were sitting on.

"I don't think you'll ever know, Matilda, just how much I love you and how much you've changed my life. Meeting you that night at O'Malley's was by far the best moment of my life...until this one...I hope....Matilda Grace Johnson, will you marry me?" he asked, his eyes brimming with tears. "Please!"

For the next several moments there was complete silence as everyone looked at Mattie. When Colin had first decided to propose it was going to be something completely intimate and private, not done in front of five other people. But cometh the hour, cometh the man and he wasn't going to allow Mattie to think, even for a minute, that she wasn't the world to him.

"You're not just doing this because Frank told you I was upset, are you?" she whispered as Colin leaned closer.

"No, I'm not," he replied, before fishing around into his nearby bag. "I bought this a month ago...I'm doing this because I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want the rest of my life to start as soon as possible."

Mattie nodded slowly as she watched him removed the diamond ring from its box. "Yes," she whispered before looking up at him. "Yes, I will marry you!" Claiming him in a deep and passionate kiss neither heard the congratulations and well wishes from those around. Nor did they notice the room empty around them.

"You look very much like the proud papa," Mac said, pressing against Harm as he stood in the kitchen.

"I guess I am," he replied, looping his arms around her waist. "She's had so many challenges in her life and I'm just so glad she's found true love."

"You are such a romantic, aren't you?" Mac asked, cradling his head and using the action to bring it down so she could kiss him.

Harm just grinned before giving himself over to Mac's ministrations.

As Mattie and Colin spent some time alone, Harm discussed with the others the nature of his and Colin's discussion. No one was overly surprised Colin wanted to return to the land and Grams was absolutely delighted that he wanted to work the farm. While she had seriously considered the offer made on the property, the truth was it would have killed her to have sold it. Despite the length of time she had lived alone in the old house it was where she still felt closest to her long departed husband and son and she couldn't imagine anyone but Rabbs living there.

"That's alright with you?" Harm asked Mac as the others turned the conversation to other things.

"Oh definitely," she replied, even though she already knew the farm was the ideal place to raise her children, she had also realised just how complete and content Harm was with Mattie around. Having the whole family here would be ideal.

Harm grinned so widely, Mac thought his face would crack; this is what she hadn't seen in such a long time...Harm just being happy.

"How about you take me to bed?" she asked, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"I can do that," he replied, kissing her back. "You need your rest."

"I was hoping we'd do something more than rest," she said with a wink.

"You're recovering from the fall," he said firmly and Mac knew that tone meant there would be no horizontal action tonight.

"How about you give me a massage then?" she asked, caressing his face. The truth was she knew she wasn't up to making love but thought she could turn her request into a sure fire massage...she was right. Although, as Harm could never get enough of his wife, all she would have had to do was ask.


	26. Chapter 26

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

Mac awoke the following morning to a heavy weight on her chest, opening her eyes she was surprised to find Harry sleeping on top of her. Slowly she raked her fingers through his locks trying to figure out how he'd gotten there.

Looking over to her husband, she discovered Harm was sound asleep with his back to her and so the mystery grew.

"Hey, baby boy, how did you get into mommy and daddy's bed?" she asked the sleeping child. "You're not big enough to get from your crib to this bed by yourself."

Harry stirred a little and Harm rolled over to face them.

"When did you bring him in here?" Harm asked with a yawn.

"Me?" Mac questioned. "I thought you brought him in."

"No, I just woke up," he said, sitting up in the bed.

"Well, I just woke up and he was on me," Mac replied, looking towards the door, which was shut.

"He couldn't have come in himself," Harm said following her gaze.

"Oh well," Mac said with a yawn, "Guess we'll find out soon enough."

For a few minutes, Mac and Harm lay there in silence just watching their only son sleep.

"I miss him, you know?" Mac asked as she rubbed the child's back.

"Miss who?" Harm asked, stroking his boy's head.

"Harry," she replied with a sigh.

"How can you miss him? He's right here with us," he replied, a tad confused.

"It's hard to explain but these last few months the focus has been on Lily and me, and this holiday there's been Mattie and even Rose – taking her on the walk, when she was first with the tummy bug... I just feel I haven't spent any time with this little guy in so long," she said wistfully.

"Yeah, I guess," Harm agreed. "And we know how much he loves his mommy time," he added with a smile.

"He's stopped going for my breast too...which is good," she said slowly.

"Good but..." Harm offered, caressing her face.

"But I guess that means my baby is growing up and it won't be long before he doesn't need his mommy at all," she said as tears filled her eyes.

"Hey, hey," Harm said, lying down next to her and kissing her head. "Our son will always need his mommy; not in the same way as he does now, but he'll need you all the same."

"What makes you so sure?" she asked.

"I'm 48 and while I can live effectively without my mom I still love her and need her in my life," he said, kissing her head again.

"I'm 45 and have been without mine for over 30 years," Mac said, holding her son a little tighter as her emotions caught up with her.

"That's true," Harm said. "But you need to remember that just because she hasn't been around to mother you; it doesn't mean you didn't need a mother. Just like Harry here, just because he's growing up it doesn't mean he'll ever outgrow you."

"Okay," she said with a nod, it made sense.

When Harry began to stir, Mac looked down at him and caressed his face.

"Hello, baby boy," she whispered, kissing his head.

"Mommy," he replied tiredly.

"Hey," she said, stroking his face. "I love you very much, Harry."

"So do I," Harm added, kissing his son before kissing his wife.

Baby chatter and lullabies ensued before Mac looked up at Harm and gave half a smile.

"Want me to get Rose too?" he asked and Mac nodded. The man did have great mind reading capabilities at times.

Before long the twins were settled between their parents and all were enjoying the closeness this early morning opportunity provided.

"Was Lily still asleep?" Mac asked as Rose nestled closer to Mac.

"I don't know," Harm replied. "She slept with mom and dad. Remember?"

"Oh right," she said with a nod. "I forgot."

With Mac recovering from the fall and Harm still tired from his hospital trip with Lily the night before, Trish had insisted that she be the one to do the checks on Lily during the night. Both Harm and Mac had said no but Trish was unrelenting. Finally, just before bed, Frank had pulled the pair aside and explained that the rock fall and then Lily's complications had left his wife quite stressed and that she needed to do this for her own peace of mind. He had gone on to say that he realised they would probably feel more secure doing it themselves but that Trish wouldn't sleep unless she knew her precious granddaughter was alright. In the end, Harm and Mac had agreed on the proviso that Lily sleep in with her grandparents, just as they had intended her sleeping with them.

"That explains Harry," Mac said fighting a yawn.

"What do you mean?" Harm asked, yawning with her.

"My best guess is that Lily forced Frank out of their bed, once again, and he probably went to sleep in Lily's bed," she began to explain.

"Yeah, and Harry was probably fussing and he didn't want it to wake Rose," Harm continued her theory.

"Doesn't explain why he brought him in here. Usually he would have just seen to Harry himself," Mac said.

"Maybe Harry was calling for us and dad didn't want to take him downstairs and worry us if we went in to check on them," Harm suggested and Mac nodded, it seemed the most feasible explanation.

When Harm next checked the clock it was nearing nine and he realised they needed to get up and start the day...Mattie and Colin's last day with them. Before he could climb out of bed, the door burst open and Lily stood there with her hands on her hips, not too sure what to make of the fact that everyone was in the bed except her.

"Hey, pumpkin," said Mac, patting the bed beside her. "Are you coming to join us?"

"No," she replied unmoving. "Grams said to tell you it's time for breakfast and we're having choc chip pancakes and it's nearly noon."

Harm laughed; even as a child his grandmother had told him it was nearly noon if he dared stay in bed past dawn.

"You go tell Grams we're coming," he said and Lily took off downstairs once more.

Padding downstairs, Harm carried Rose while Harry held onto Mac's hand and followed them down.

"Hmmm, something smells wonderful," Harm said as he stopped at the table to kiss Mattie's head.

"Doesn't it?" she agreed. "They're my favourite."

"Mine too," said Mac carefully lifting Harry and placing him in his chair. "How's your knee this morning, Mats?"

"Improving," she replied, swinging her legs out so Mac could see. "It's still swollen but certainly not as bad as it was."

"You just make sure you take it easy when you get home," Mac warned in a motherly tone.

"I will," she promised, knowing that Colin wouldn't let her do anything to compromise her recovery.

Breakfast was a delicious success and afterwards, Harm helped Colin return the mattress they had been using to the Andersons next door. Meanwhile, Mac was in the living room helping Mattie pack the last of their things.

"Um...Mac," Mattie began slowly and Mac turned to face her. "Colin and I were talking last night and he suggested we leave the city and move here...with you guys. He said he'd spoken to Harm about it. I'd love to, I think it's a wonderful idea but I just wanted to know what you thought."

"I love the idea of you being so close to us and having you living on the farm, with your husband, will be fantastic," Mac said, embracing the younger woman.

"Are you sure?" Mattie questioned, she wanted to be very sure she wasn't treading on anyone's toes.

"Absolutely, positively," she replied. "Harm and I spoke about it and we'd love you to be here too. Colin said something to Harm about building your own house out behind the barn so you'll have your privacy...if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh, I'm not worried about that," Mattie said quickly. "I just wanted to make sure we weren't crashing your retirement plans."

"You're definitely not doing that," Mac reassured her. "If anything, I'd be grateful. Harm has all these ideas about the farm and what he wants to do but he's not as young as he thinks and having Colin here would be perfect."

"That's what I wanted to hear," said Mattie hugging Mac fiercely.

"Of course, having you here would be perfect too," Mac added as she pulled back.

The plans for Colin and Mattie had been finalised, as much as they could, over lunch. Colin's place was up for lease and as he had already intended to move in with Mattie his things were already packed. When they returned to the city, he would move in with Mattie, his excess items would be shipped straight to the farm and the Anderson boys from next door would move it from the truck to the barn.

Both would hand in their notice and finalise any other obligations they had. Mattie had a friend who was eager to sublet her apartment and, if everything went well, they would be on the farm in four weeks. Three if they could swing it. Grams had informed them that they could take the bedroom currently occupied by Harm and Mac upon their return but they had declined, opting for the study where Frank and Trish currently were. Colin had explained their reasoning as thus; they would only be in the house temporarily, even though it was most likely to be over a year until their house was built, but when Harm and Mac moved in it would be permanent and therefore the bedroom should be theirs. Everyone agreed.

After lunch, and with the final items packed into the car, Mattie and Colin stood alongside the vehicle for the dreaded farewell. Lily already had her arms wrapped around Mattie's waist and tears running down her face as she pleaded with her big sister to stay just a few more days. Much to Mattie's dismay, she had to say no. The sooner she returned to the city, the sooner she could pack up and move to the farm permanently.

The farewells from the others were fairly quick and simple, no one wanting to add to the emotion already there. Mac made them promise to call the minute they were home. Grams made them promise to call in a few days with moving arrangements. Harm made Colin promise to look after Mattie and to make sure she didn't overdo it with her knee.

Lots of promises, kisses and a few tears later, they drove down the driveway and away from the farm that would very soon be their home.

A couple of hours later, most of the Rabbs and Barnetts were asleep either in beds or in chairs, all taking the opportunity just to relax a little before the visitors final busy days on the farm.

Mac wasn't sleeping though and she padded through the house looking for Harm. He hadn't said much since Mattie and Colin had left and Mac hadn't been able to get an accurate read on his feelings. While she knew he'd miss Mattie greatly, there seemed to be something more weighing on his mind, something he wasn't opening up to her about.

Looking out the living room window, Mac was surprised to see him sitting on the boulder once more. The same one she'd found him on breaking his heart crying over his father. Heading out to him, she wondered what sort of state she'd find him in this time.

"Mind if I join you?" she asked, running her hand across his back and over his shoulder. When he smiled she sat on his lap and held him close. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah," he replied, kissing her shoulder.

"What are you doing out here?" she questioned, one hand rubbing his back, the other holding his face up to hers.

"Just thinking," he replied, resting his head against her. "Got a million and one thoughts racing around and just needed a bit of time out to try and get it all straight."

"How can I help?" she asked, caressing his face.

"Don't let me make myself crazy," he said with half a chuckle.

"And how am I supposed to do that?" she questioned, kissing his nose. After all, when the man had a bee in his bonnet about something he was nigh on impossible to stop.

"Kiss me!"

Mac willingly obliged.

"How else can I help?" she asked when she finally pulled back, her lips red and swollen from their heated kiss.

"There's nothing really to help with, gorgeous," he said, pulling her back into him. "They're not bad thoughts; mainly ideas and such about the farm...some more serious thoughts about actually telling Cresswell..."

"Are you having second thoughts about retiring? Because if you are, now..." Mac began.

"No!" Harm interjected firmly. "I had thought about it for a while and was unsure, I'll admit. But when you mentioned it, and about moving here, I knew without a doubt it was the way to go."

"I'm glad to hear it," she replied, leaning her head on his.

"So, we leave here Friday, go back to work Monday and submit the paperwork for our retirement?" he asked and Mac nodded.

"Sounds like a plan to me," she said with a smile. "The conference was the culmination of most of what I had been working on at the Pentagon, and as I haven't been back nothing else has been assigned. So, between my medical leave, terminal leave and retirement, I could probably get away with only a couple of weeks of work, meaning I can then get a start on packing and organising the house."

"Do you think we should sell or let the house?" Harm asked, neither of them had given much thought to their old house, only the new one.

"Let it...for now anyway," she said. "Or maybe sell it...I really don't know. Maybe we can put it on the market and see what interest we get...then decide. What do you think?"

"I think we see what interest we get, then decide," he concurred. Both truly believed the farm was the perfect place for their family's future, however, neither seemed willing to lose their first home together – the place they had brought Lily and the twins home too. The place all three children had taken their first steps, said their first words...the place that held all the memories of their family.

Realising Harm was feeling the same way she was, Mac kissed his head and pulled him close. Whatever happened, whatever decisions they made, she knew they were in this together, as always, and, right now, that was enough for her.


	27. Chapter 27

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

The last few days were a whirlwind of activity and while Mac knew Trish and Frank had planned to leave before Mattie and Colin arrived, she was a little surprised when neither of her in-laws had mentioned their return to San Diego.

Thursday evening, after all but the items needed for the MacKenzie Rabb's last night at the farm were packed into the vehicle, Mac stood alongside Trish in the kitchen preparing dinner while Frank, Harm and Grams discussed farm finances in the living room with the three children playing at their feet.

"Something up, Sarah?" Trish asked as Mac stood paused over the gravy she was supposed to be stirring.

"No...uh...no," she said, blinking quickly and turning her attention back to the pot.

"Try again, dear," she said gently, resting her hand on Mac's arm. "What's on your mind?"

"I was just wondering why you're still here..." she said before she realised the way it sounded. "Oh, I'm so sorry," she added quickly. "I just meant that I thought you would have left after Mattie and Colin left."

"That was our intention," she said, giving Mac a quick smile, reassuring her that there were no hard feelings about her choice of words.

"But?" Mac prompted.

"I looked at Grams the night Mattie and Colin left and she seemed a little down. I think she realised that your time here was nearly up as well. Frank had noticed it too and that night we decided to stay a little longer. Perhaps for another few days, a week, after you go back... try and soften the blow..." Trish said quietly.

"Oh!" Mac replied. She'd been so busy caught up with Harm's emotions she'd missed his grandmother's. It all made sense though, after being on the farm alone for so long and now having such welcome and lively company for three weeks, it would be a huge let down to be alone once more.

"That's so kind of you," she said, reaching over and kissing her on the cheek.

"It's the least we can do," Trish said, turning her attention back to the meal. "After all, Sarah helped me through most of the darkest moments of my life. If I can repay any of it through visiting for a couple of extra days then it's the least I can do."

Silence fell as the women put the final touches on the meal they had prepared together – a roast beef meal with all the trimmings, and an eggplant for Harm.

"Something smells delicious," Harm said wrapping his arms around Mac from behind, holding her tight and pressing a kiss onto her ear.

"It's the roast beef," Mac informed him, turning towards him and stealing a kiss.

"No, I'm sure it's you," he said, nuzzling into her neck before nibbling gently.

"Please, you two, there is food around," Trish said good humouredly. All laughed heartily.

After dinner was eaten and enjoyed and the children bathed and bedded down, Mac suggested to Harm that they take one more walk together while it was still light enough outside. Harm agreed and Mac took his hand, leading the way.

It wasn't long before Harm realised they were walking in the direction of the fishing spot he'd taken her too earlier in the trip. Walking in amiable silence, Harm kept a firm but gentle grip on Mac's hand; looking for any sign that the physical exertion was too much for her. While he knew Mac was recovering well from the rock fall, he was still in overprotective mode; not knowing if he could handle any more stress should she be hurt in anyway.

Walking towards the rock shared by himself and his father, Harm was surprised when he felt Mac tug his hand and lead him towards another, smaller rock located a few feet away. Sitting down on the right side of it, Mac tapped the left, encouraging Harm to join her, which he did. Placing his hand over hers, he couldn't help but see her hand was covering some sort of inscription.

Lifting her hand up, Harm recognised the unmistakable scrawl of his family. 'We love daddy' was clearly written in Mac's handwriting, albeit with a sharp stone. Lily had written her name and added several kisses of varying sizes, while Rose and Harry had made random markings with Mac adding their names and hers underneath.

Caressing his face and kissing his head, Mac knew when her husband finally looked up from studying the message there would be tears and she wasn't wrong.

"When?" he managed to ask through tear filled eyes when he finally looked up.

"When you, Grams and Trish went into town yesterday, Frank and I brought the kids down. I thought it would be a perfect memento of this vacation and something we could add to when we move here permanently," she said, before leaning in to kiss him.

Pulling back, Mac pointed to another rock a little further from the stream. "I think that one would be perfect for a 'Home Sweet Home' message when we are here permanently. And that one..." she pointed across the stream, "Would be great to etch the names of all the family...if you want too...I know I never asked if you'd like to share this spot but it just seemed the perfect place to leave a legacy to future generations of Rabbs."

"You, Sarah MacKenzie Rabb are by far the most incredible, amazing, remarkable, extraordinary person I know," he whispered reverently as he caressed her face. "I know God exists because He definitely blessed me with you."

Leaning in, he covered his lips with hers and kissed her tenderly and deeply. Only pulling back when he realised they needed to head back before the darkness set in.

Leaving the farm the next day was as difficult as Mac had imagined. With everything packed and ready for departure by 1030, the family stood in the driveway as everyone struggled to avoid starting the round of goodbyes. Lily had said goodbye to her grandparents and was a sobbing mess by the time she got to her great-grandmother.

"Grams, I don't want to go home...can't I stay here with you?" she begged with her arms wrapped around the old lady's waist and tears streaming down her cheeks.

"I'd love you too, child, but you have so much to organise at home before you move here," Grams replied, tears spilling over.

"But can't mommy and daddy do it?" she pleaded.

"Yes, they can," Grams said. "But they're going to need your help...and just think, the quicker you do it they quicker you can all come live with me. Won't that be good, Lily?"

"I guess," she replied as Grams kissed her head. "I love you so much, Grams!" she said kissing her.

"I love you too, my precious girl."

Not wanting to upset his grandmother anymore than she already was, Harm scooped up his daughter, allowed her to kiss everyone once more before buckling her up in the backseat while Mac helped the twins say goodbye. When they were safely buckled up in their seats it was Harm and Mac's turn and with tight hugs and declarations of love and farewell, Harm stood by the car ready to go.

Surprisingly it was Mac who was finding it the hardest to say goodbye. She'd kept it all together as long as she could but when Trish took her in an embrace and told her how much she loved her, how much she considered her to be her daughter and how she was there for her wherever, whenever needed, Mac's resolve crumbled and she sobbed into Trish's shoulder.

All the soothing words from Grams and Frank couldn't seem to settle Mac's emotions so Grams called Harm back over and Mac clung to him.

'Thank you, thank you," she whispered tearfully. Though she couldn't voice it herself, Mac was extremely grateful he had given her the gift of his parents and grandmother. For the first time as an adult, she truly felt she had a family, a home, and love beyond the confines of her husband and children... and she couldn't believe she had to leave them behind so soon.

"Hey gorgeous," he whispered as he kissed her head, "If you don't stop crying you're going to start Lily off again, okay?"

"Aha," she replied, sniffling into his shirt.

"Come on," he said gently, rubbing her back. "We'll be back sooner than you think."

"Aha," she responded, taking a deep breath.

It took a few minutes but eventually Mac pulled back of her own accord, waved a final teary farewell and climbed into the front seat. Harm did likewise and soon they were back on the road home.

The first part of the trip home was done with little conversation and the main noise came from the twins chatter. When silence settled on the car, Harm looked in the rear vision mirror to discover his children were asleep. Smiling to himself at the cute picture they made, Harm looked towards Mac only to discover she too was asleep, clutching onto Harry's favourite bear. He smiled again; this trip had been an amazing one. He had wanted Mac to experience the kind of mother-daughter relationship she had with Lily and if the embrace he had witnessed was anything to go by, it seemed as if he had well and truly succeeded.

On the outskirts of DC, Harm realised they needed to stop and either have lunch or buy groceries as there was no food in the house. Stroking Mac's thigh, Harm softly called Mac's name and with a few mutterings she stirred.

"We home?" she questioned rubbing her eyes.

"Not quite, gorgeous," he replied, pulling over on the side of the road.

"What's up?" she asked, looking to the back seat and finding her children asleep once more.

"What would you like to do for lunch?" he asked, entwining his fingers with hers. "Might be a bit much to take them all grocery shopping and as it's gone one, I'm sure they'll wake up hungry."

"I guess we can eat out. Have anywhere in mind?" she asked, leaning her head on the back of the seat.

"I thought I'd leave that up to you," he replied, lifting her hand and kissing it.

Knowing no one really ate that much at breakfast and would need something a little more substantial than a fast food burger hit and not wanting to go to anywhere more upmarket like Romano's, Mac settled for the old favourite of IHOP.

Pulling into the IHOP car park, Mac and Harm climbed out and opened the rear doors. Gently they woke their sleeping children and gave them a few minutes to get their bearings. Harry and Rose seemed excited about the prospect of pancakes and ice cream for lunch, however, Lily, the one who absolutely adored pancakes, didn't seem to care at all.

"She'll be fine," Harm whispered, wrapping his arm around Mac as they followed the children in.

"She just looks so sad," Mac replied with a sad smile.

"She'll be okay," he reassured her. "Just a little separation angst." While Harm's heart was aching for his sad little girl, he wasn't about to admit it to his wife as he knew she was also experiencing her own angst about leaving the farm.

Sitting at a window booth, with the twins on booster seats blocked in against the window, Mac, Harm and Lily perused the menus and discussed lunch. When the waitress came over, Mac ordered for them.

"One Funny Face each for the twins, a Garden Omelette with fresh fruit for my husband, Chocolate Chip Pancakes for me...have you decided yet, pumpkin?" she asked Lily and the girl shook her head. "Okay. Two coffees, three waters and a little more time for this one. Thanks."

'Can't decide, Lil?" Harm asked, looking over her shoulder to study the page with her.

"Don't want anything," she replied with a long sigh, closing the menu and placing it back on the table.

"Are you feeling okay, baby?" he asked, kissing her forehead and checking her temperature at the same time.

"Yeah, just not hungry," she said, leaning back into her father.

"That's okay," he replied not wanting to push her. "Maybe you might feel like some of my omelette."

"Or my chocolate chip pancakes," Mac added and Lily nodded.

"Yeah, maybe," she said.

When the meals came, Lily hadn't regained her appetite. The twins thoroughly enjoyed their meals as did their parents but no one could tempt, cajole or entice Lily to even take a bite. When they were leaving, Harm offered to stop and pick up a Beltway Burger for Lily but she declined the offer with a quick shake of her head.

Mac looked at her husband concerned; this was not the mini-me she knew. This was not the child whose appetite matched her mother's and, on occasion, outdid it. Harm just smiled reassuringly and kissed his wife's head. "She'll be fine."

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**Thanks for reading! Love to hear from you!**


	28. Chapter 28

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

Safely home after four weeks away, Mac placed the twins in the playpen before she helped Harm unload the car. Happy that there was not much laundry to do, mostly because Trish had insisted on doing it the day before, Mac took the twins' bags to their room to unpack them, while Harm took their luggage to their room.

Following her parents example, Lily took her case into her room and shut the door. When Mac came out with the twins empty bags, she looked at Lily's shut door. Thinking it unusual to be closed during the day, Mac opened it slowly and was surprised to see the case opened on the floor and Lily under the covers in bed with the only thing she'd unpacked; her teddy.

Padding over, Mac carefully pulled back the covers only to discover her daughter was asleep. Troubled, she felt Lily's forehead believing the child was sick, only to find her temperature to be normal. Quietly, Mac pulled the covers up once more and hoped that when Lily awoke again she would be back to herself and eat something. While she was in her bedroom, Mac unpacked Lily's things before placing the twins' empty bags inside Lily's empty case and closing it.

Heading out to the hallway and closing the door behind her, Mac met up with Harm.

"I'll take that," he said, reaching for the case. "Lily unpacked it quickly enough?"

"No, I did," Mac said quietly. "The only thing Lily unpacked was teddy before she climbed into bed and fell asleep."

"She's asleep?" Harm said surprised; after all, the child had slept for at least two hours in the car. Opening the door slowly, Harm put down the case and went in to check her for himself. It wasn't that he didn't trust Mac, he was just very concerned. "This is so not like her," he said when he was back out in the hallway.

"Do you think it's something more than pining for Grams?" Mac asked and Harm shrugged. He knew the two had a very close relationship but he didn't think it would account for her current state.

"Let's just let her sleep for awhile and see how she's doing when she gets up," he said, picking up the case once more.

As the afternoon passed, Mac made several trips to Lily's room trying not to wake her but hoping she did; she didn't. In the end, Harm realised if he didn't intervene, his wife would drive herself crazy.

"Hey, honey," he called, grabbing her hand as she passed by the kitchen table where he'd been reading the mail. "While the twins are settled in their playpen, I was thinking it's the perfect opportunity to do some grocery shopping."

"Yeah, I guess," she agreed, after all they needed food for dinner and the weekend.

Pulling her onto his lap, Harm picked up a pen. "We can make a list out now and I can go..." he said, knowing she preferred to do the grocery shopping so she could buy 'real' food as she argued it. "Unless you feel up to it and want to go." Mac nodded and Harm smiled, he'd gotten his way.

With the list in her purse, Mac backed her car out and headed towards the local Safeway store. For an hour she strolled up and down the aisles before waiting for the slowest ever cashier. Navigating her trolley back to the car, she was surprised to feel a tug on her arm and she spun quickly ready to strike any perpetrator who dared to touch her.

To her relief, and joy, it was AJ.

"Sorry to startle you, Aunty Mac," AJ said as she embraced him. "It's just good to see you again. Did you have a good time at the farm?"

"We had a fantastic time," Mac replied. "It's such a wonderful place to relax, alas, now it's back to reality. What about you? How is summer vacation treating you?"

"Pretty good," he replied as he took charge of the trolley and wheeled it towards Mac's car. "Hanging out with friends mainly, spending some extra time at the gym trying to improve my fitness, hanging out with Janie."

"And Janie is?" Mac questioned as she opened the trunk.

"Um...a friend..." he said with a blush colouring his cheeks.

"A girlfriend?" she probed as he started to unload the trolley.

"Not really...well, maybe...yes," he stammered, not daring to look at his godmother.

"Obviously this is something very new," Mac commented as AJ packed the last of the bags into the car and locked the trunk.

"Yes, it is...very new," he said nervously.

"New as in your mom and dad don't know yet?" she questioned and AJ nodded. "It's alright, I won't tell them," she added and his relief was visible.

"Thanks, Aunty Mac," he said with a shy smile.

"Tell your mom I'll give her a call later," she said, kissing his cheek.

"I will. Give my love to Uncle Harm and the kids," he said before saying goodbye and taking her trolley back with him into the store.

Mac returned home in a much brighter mood after her encounter with AJ and grabbed her purse and keys before unlocking the front door, knowing Harm would help her unload the car. Coming into the living room she smiled when she saw the twins had crashed and fallen asleep on the floor of the playpen. Looking to the sofa, she saw Harm sitting there, Lily had woken and was now straddling his lap, her head tucked under his chin and her arms were wrapped around him as she had tried to snuggle as close as she could get.

"Hey, Harm, hey, pumpkin," she said quietly so as not to disturb the twins. "How are you feeling?" she asked, raking her fingers through Lily's messy locks.

Lily didn't respond so Mac looked to Harm. "Lily is still a little sad about having to leave Grams and the farm," he said, rubbing his daughter's back.

Mac pouted as she looked at Lily's sad, teary face. "Oh, baby," she said gently. "I know it's hard saying goodbye but we'll be back there before you know it."

Sitting down beside them, Mac stretched her arms out believing Lily would come to her as she usually did. While she loved her daddy dearly, she had such a special bond with her mommy that often Mac knew she was hurting before she did. "No?" she asked and Lily shook her head before turning her head away.

"Sorry!" Harm mouthed as he caught his wife's sad expression, Mac just shrugged before leaving to bring in the groceries. Harm offered to help but Mac shook her head before telling him it was fine and not to disturb Lily.

Late in the afternoon with the groceries away and Harm in the yard playing with the twins, Mac went out and sat on the porch swing next to Lily. She didn't say anything and didn't touch her daughter; she just sat alongside her, hoping the child would open up.

When Lily had not spoken in twenty three minutes, Mac stood up, kissed her head and went back to the kitchen to sort out dinner. It was going to be a simple meal of baked macaroni and cheese for the kids and pasta and salad for herself and Harm. She had just gotten the necessary items from the pantry when the back door opened quietly. Knowing it was Lily, Mac didn't turn around, instead she waited for Lily to make the first move.

"When will dinner be, mom?" she asked quietly coming to stand beside her mother.

"I was planning on having it at six, which is in about an hour," Mac replied putting down her knife.

"Oh, okay," Lily said as she continued to stand there.

"Would you like something to eat now?" she offered, knowing the child hadn't had much all day. Lily nodded. "What would you like?" she asked as she went to the fridge. The child just shrugged. "Well, how about some milk and cookies and then there'll still be room for dinner. Lily nodded and Mac was very concerned about her child's quietness.

Pouring the milk and placing two cookies on a small plate, Mac put the snack on the table and Lily sat down, Mac sat next to her.

"I'd really like you to talk to me about how you're feeling, Lily," Mac said softly. "I might be able to help you."

"You wouldn't understand," Lily said, picking up a cookie.

"What wouldn't I understand?" Mac asked surprised by her statement.

"Any of it," she said with a deep sigh.

"How do you know?" Mac probed as Lily drank her milk.

"Because you don't have a family so you don't know how it is to leave them," Lily said, picking up her glass.

Mac bit down on her lower lip, trying not to allow her tears to flow.

"What do you mean I don't have a family?" she questioned, trying to keep her tone even.

"You don't," Lily said with a shrug. "Daddy does but you don't. Daddy would understand."

"Fine," Mac said standing up and leaving the kitchen. She couldn't continue the discussion with her daughter, couldn't even be in the same room.

Almost running to her bedroom, Mac closed the door behind her as her tears cascaded. While she knew there was no malice in her daughter and it hadn't been the child's intention to hurt her, it had hurt and hurt deeply. Slumping to the floor beside the bed, Mac grabbed a pillow and sobbed into it. Here she was feeling happy and content at having experienced her first real family vacation ever, to have shared an amazing mother – daughter moment for the first time in her life, only to be reminded by a seven year old that it wasn't her family, that she had no one.

In that moment, all Harm's hard work at giving his wife the family she craved seemed wasted.

Coming in from the backyard with the twins, Harm found Lily still sitting at the table, tears streaming down her face.

"Hey, baby," he said, putting down the twins and embracing his daughter. "What's wrong?"

"I think I made mommy cry," she sobbed into his chest.

"What makes you think that, Lily?" he asked, pulling back to see her face.

"She wanted me to talk to her and I told her she wouldn't understand and then she started crying...but I don't think she knows that I know..." Lily said trying to stop her tears. "I didn't mean to make her sad I just didn't think she'd understand."

Harm was puzzled; Mac was usually very careful about crying in front of the children and nothing Lily had said explained why there would have been tears from his wife.

"Lily, honey," Harm said, grabbing a Kleenex and wiping the child's face. "What exactly did you say to mommy?"

"That she didn't have a family so she wouldn't understand," Lily said, not comprehending why those words would upset her mother so much – Harm did.

"Lily, mommy has a family, she has us and we love her very much," he said, putting the child down.

"I know but I meant she doesn't have a mom and dad and grandma like you do..." Lily explained sadly.

Harm nodded, his daughter was right but he wished she could have phrased it in a much better way.

"Okay, I'm going to put Rose and Harry in their playpen. Can you keep an eye on them while I go see if mommy's okay?" he asked, picking up the twins and heading to the living room.

Lily nodded trailing behind him.

Rapping on his bedroom door, Harm wanted to give Mac the chance to prepare herself for the intrusion. Not hearing 'go away', Harm felt it safe to enter. Slowly, he opened the door and left it open so he could hear the children.

"Gorgeous?" he said, spying her sitting on the floor; her head resting on her knees, her arms wrapped around them. "Hey." He slid down the bed to sit beside her and wrapped her in his arms.

Mac's only acknowledgement he was there was to rest her head on his shoulder.

"She's only seven, Mac, she didn't mean it the way she sounded," he soothed, kissing her head.

"I know," Mac said with a sniffle.

"Still hurts, doesn't it?" he asked and she nodded. "You have to know that you have a family that love you very, very much."

"I know," she replied, trying to catch her breath.

"She meant that you didn't have parents and grandparents like I do," he tried to explain but Mac just shook her head. "What?"

"She's right though," Mac said. "Aside from you, I have no one."

"You have the children too," Harm reminded her and she nodded. "And my parents and Grams love you like their own. You might not be blood related, but given we're married, that's probably a good thing," he added, with a laugh, trying to inject some humour into the situation. It didn't work.

"I'm being stupid, I know," Mac said, resting her head on his chest. "I don't know why I'm being so emotional..."

"You're not being stupid, Mac," he said kissing her head, though he was wondering about her emotional state as well. "You're being human. And this is probably partly my fault too."

At his last words, Mac looked up surprised. "How could it be your fault?"

"The day we were in the park, Lily asked why we never saw your family and I said you would talk to her about it. She said you wouldn't as you hadn't told her about babies, so I said I could tell her about babies and well, you know the rest," he said, rubbing her arm as he spoke. "If I had have addressed it then, or gotten you to do it afterwards, then perhaps Lily would have a better understanding of your family."

Blowing out a deep breath, Mac hooked her arms around Harm's neck and held on. "Why does it still hurt so much?"

"I don't know, sweetheart, but I love you, Mac," he said, kissing her temple.

"Love you," she whispered in reply.

"And I promise you that I will try and be all the family you will ever need, could ever want," he whispered, kissing her head once more. "And ..."

"Thank you," she interjected, holding tighter. She didn't need anything other than him. Despite what her daughter may think she did have a family...with the man in her arms she had a family, she had a life, she had everything.

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**Thanks for reading! Love to hear from you!**


	29. Chapter 29

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

Dinner was a noisy affair, thanks to the efforts of the twins to make up for the lack of conversation from Lily and Mac. While Mac held nothing against her daughter and tried to make an effort, she really wasn't in a chatty mood. Lily knew she had hurt her mom, although she wasn't quite sure how, and despite kisses and reassurances from both parents, she remained subdued.

After dinner, Mac took the twins to the bathroom and bathed them, the first time she'd done so in this house for more than two months. She shook her head at the thought of just how much time had gone past since she felt like an ordinary, everyday mom. With her thoughts wandering, Mac didn't pay too much attention to the splashes or squeals; she just allowed the whole scene to wash over her.

During their time at the farm, once her casts were off, Lily had informed her parents that she was a month away from being eight and insisted she be allowed to take showers rather than baths. Mac and Harm had agreed on the proviso that they be present when she turned on the water, to ensure it wasn't too hot, and that she didn't play with the faucets while she was in there.

This particular night, Lily wasn't fussed about a shower either and while Mac was in with the twins, Lily got herself changed for bed before going back to the living room to see her dad.

"Mommy won't be upset if I don't have a shower, will she?" she asked, not wanting to upset her mom any further.

"No, pumpkin," he replied, wrapping an arm around her waist and drawing her into him. "You know that mommy's not upset anymore, don't you?"

Lily nodded but said nothing.

"Are you still feeling sad about saying goodbye to Grams?" he asked, caressing her face.

Lily nodded. "And grandma and grandpa," she added, resting her head on his chest.

"We could call them if you'd like to say goodnight," Harm offered and Lily smiled broadly for the first time all day.

A quick phone call later, Lily was happy and about to take herself to bed. She had kissed and hugged her dad goodnight and was set to go but he reminded her that she had to say goodnight to her mom too. Finding Mac and the twins in their bedroom, Lily padded over to Mac and wrapped her arms around her mom and said goodnight. Though a little surprised by the earliness of it, given the child had slept for a considerable amount of time during the day, Mac kissed her head, wished her goodnight and was relieved the child was smiling.

After she'd bedded down the twins, Harm came in to bid them goodnight and to read to them, as was the norm in this particular home. While he did, Mac went to the kitchen to clean up only to be pleasantly surprised Harm had already done it. Just as she was contemplating what to do next the doorbell rang and Mac headed over to open it.

"Harriet!" she exclaimed. "I was just thinking about phoning you."

"I beat you too it," Harriet said, embracing Mac warmly. "I've missed you all so much and when AJ said he saw you at Safeway I just couldn't wait to see you."

"Come in, come in...I'll get some coffee, oh, and some choc chip muffins I bought today and hid from the children," she said, so glad to see her friend once more.

"How was your vacation?" Harriet asked, trailing behind Mac.

"Oh, wonderful," she said with a contented sigh.

As she prepared the coffee, she gave Harriet the highlights of their trip – seeing Grams, Trish and Frank coming, Mattie and Colin's engagement, the beauty of the land.

"Sounds like the perfect place," Harriet said as she took a sip of her coffee.

"It is perfect...so perfect in fact..." Mac began but wondered if she should complete her thought and break the news to Harriet without first consulting Harm. She decided she should wait.

"In fact what?" Harriet prompted when Mac failed to continue.

"So perfect in fact..." Mac started again, buying herself some time. "That being caught in a rock fall didn't spoil it."

"A rock fall? Goodness me, are you alright?" she asked quickly, her coffee forgotten.

"Now, yes," Mac said, patting Harriet's arm in reassurance. "Everyone's fine now...though it was a bit of a drama at the time."

"Oh, I can imagine," she said, settling back into her chair while Mac filled in the details.

They were up to discussing the engagement, and comparing Colin to a younger version of Brad Pitt but with much darker hair, when Harm returned, very pleased to see Harriet once more and even more pleased that Mac seemed more like herself. He had to wonder how being so far away from Harriet would affect her once they moved. Rather than bring the mood down, he simply greeted Harriet with a kiss, fixed his own coffee, stole a muffin and sat down at the table with them.

In the hour and a half and two cups of coffee Harriet was there for, they discussed what had been happening with the Roberts and the arrangements for Lily for the following week. As had been the plan, the twins would resume child care on Monday, while Lily would be dropped off at the Roberts' each morning and Harriet would mind her. Mac wasn't totally sure of her hours when she returned but she would leave those details until a later time.

As they waved to the disappearing vehicle, Harm wrapped his arm around Mac's shoulders.

"You didn't mention the move," he said, kissing her head.

"I was going to but I wasn't sure if now was the right time... perhaps after we've started proceedings for our retirements. And besides, she was so happy to see us I didn't want to burst that bubble," Mac said, leaning against her husband as he shut the door.

"I think it's bedtime for you, Mrs Rabb," he said, kissing her forehead.

"Yeah, I'll just clean up these few things," she replied, not making much effort to pull away from him.

"I can do it," he offered but Mac shook her head. He had already done the dinner dishes, she could do these few.

As Mac disappeared into the kitchen, Harm made his way to their bathroom and decided to draw Mac a bath. Turning on the water, he selected the vanilla bubble mix before lighting the candles scattered around. Picking Mac's favourite blue fluffy towel from the shelf, Harm placed it on top of the hamper for her before heading back into the bedroom, smiling to himself. While he would let her soak alone, he was hoping he'd get an invitation to join her at some stage.

Unaware of her husband's plans, Mac returned to the bedroom to find Harm sitting on the bed in his boxers and tank, reading.

"That's my book," she said, gesturing towards the novel.

"Yes, it is," he agreed. "Just seeing what's had you so engrossed these last few nights."

"Well, I'm just going to the bathroom, you keep reading," she said with a smile. "Oh my goodness," she said opening the bathroom door and having her senses overwhelmed by the vanilla and flickering candles. "Is this for me?"

"It certainly is," he replied, padding across to her. "Just because our vacation is over doesn't mean you can stop relaxing."

His thank you came in the form of being kissed soundly on the lips.

As Mac soaked away, Harm went back to reclining on the bed, reading once more. Five minutes later he was disturbed by Lily as she appeared at the bedroom door.

"Hey pumpkin, what's up?" he asked, patting Mac's side of the bed for her.

Lily padded over and climbed up next to him. "Where's mommy?"

"Taking a bath," Harm replied and Lily nodded. "How come you're up?"

"Guess I really wasn't that tired," she replied, moving across to cuddle into her father.

"Well, you did sleep a lot today," Harm observed as he kissed her head.

"I was thinking about mommy," she added and Harm studied her face. "And about the whole family thing and I just wanted to give her a great big hug."

"Mommy's in the bath at the moment," Harm restated.

"Can I go in and see her? Please? I won't be long," she asked, pleading brown eyes looking up at her daddy.

He nodded; who was he to stop a mother-daughter hug.

When the bathroom door opened slowly, Mac grinned. She'd been expecting her husband. Opening one eye, she was surprised to find it was Lily.

"What's up, baby?" she asked, sitting up.

"I wanted to give you a hug," she said as her eyes remained on the candles and bubbles; her baths were never as nice as this.

"Would you like to get in with me?" Mac asked, noting her interest in the situation.

"Can I?" she asked, finally looking at her mother. Mac nodded.

Quickly Lily stripped off and climbed into the other end of the tub. Reaching across, Mac turned the spa jets on low, lest she create a mess of bubbles, thanks to the overenthusiastic use of bubble mix by her husband.

"Oooh, this is so cool," said Lily leaning against the end of the bath.

"It's lovely, isn't it?" Mac agreed, resting back once more.

For the next little while nothing was said, until Mac heard Lily take a deep breath and she knew the silence was over.

"I'm sorry for making you sad today, mommy," she said quietly. "I know you have us as your family. I just meant you didn't have a mom and dad or grandma, like daddy does."

"I know you didn't mean it, pumpkin, and I was never upset with you," Mac answered, reaching out and rubbing Lily's leg.

"Then what made you sad?" she asked, playing with Mac's toes.

"I was sad because ... well, sometimes it still hurts that mommy doesn't have anyone like your daddy does," Mac said, trying to keep her tone even.

"What happened to your mom and dad?" she asked and Mac cringed. She had always known this day would come but even though she had considered what she'd tell her children, she'd never come up with the right words.

When Mac failed to answer, Lily continued. "Are they dead? Like Grandad."

"My dad is dead, he died nearly twelve years ago," Mac said slowly.

"You must have been really sad," Lily commented.

"Yeah," Mac said with a sigh. "But he really wasn't much of a dad to me so I think I was more sad about that."

"Why wasn't he?" she questioned, wide eyed.

"My dad had lots of problems and when I was really little he was a good dad but as I got older he became harder to be around," she responded, trying to be both truthful and cautious with her answers.

"Didn't your mom make him be nice to you?" Lily continued, not quite believing anyone could be mean to her beautiful mommy.

"My mom...well, she didn't really want to be there and then one day, when I'd just started junior high, she left," Mac said, glad the candlelight hid her tear filled eyes.

"And when did she come back?" she asked, holding onto Mac's foot.

"I didn't see my mom again until my dad died...about twenty years later," she explained, hoping she wasn't going to upset her daughter too much.

"But why not?" Lily asked, moving to be on her knees. "How come she didn't take you with her?"

Mac shrugged; she had asked herself the same thing thousands of times since that day.

"I guess it was because she never really wanted me...and it just got too hard for her..." Mac replied as her first tear slid down into the suds.

"But how could she not want you?" Lily asked as her own tears formed at her mother's distress.

"I don't know, baby," she said shaking her head as her voice faltered.

There was a long silence before Lily spoke once more, this time her voice full of tears. "You wanted me, didn't you?"

"Oh, baby," Mac said opening her arms up and waiting until Lily leant into her. "You were very much wanted...for so very long," Mac reassured her, kissing her head repeatedly.

"Are you sure?" she asked as her tears flowed.

"Yes, Lily, you were wanted for so long before you actually arrived," Mac said gently.

"How long?" she asked, wanting to be sure she wasn't just like her mother.

"Your daddy and I started talking about you the day AJ was born," she said, kissing her head once more.

"But AJ's 16 and I'm only 7," Lily said, pulling back to look at her mom. "What took so long?"

Mac could only smile; that was another question she'd asked herself thousands of times.

Settling down on her mother, Lily took some deep breaths and held tight. While the water was cooling, she wasn't prepared to get out just yet. She loved her mommy so much and she knew her mommy loved her. She couldn't understand how anyone could not love their little girl, especially when that little girl was her mommy, a mommy who was beautiful and amazing and the best.

"Mommy," she said wearily after a few more minutes slipped by. "I love you very much and I'm very happy that you're my mommy."

"I love you too, Lily and I'm very happy I'm your mommy too," Mac replied through her tears.

"And mommy," Lily continued. "I'm glad we don't see your mom she sounds really mean."

Mac kissed the child's head, unable to find the words to respond.

"And mommy, you can share grandma and grandpa and Grams 'cos they love you just like I do," she said, her voice fading as sleep crept in.

"Love mommy," were the last words she uttered as sleep claimed her.

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**Thanks for reading! Love to hear from you!**


	30. Chapter 30

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

With the water too cool to enjoy, Mac knew she should wake Lily so they could both get out but with her emotions still raw, she just wasn't ready to let go of her precious bundle. After another five minutes had elapsed, Mac knew they had to get out.

"Hey, Lily, we have to get up, sweetie," Mac said gently as she caressed the child's face.

"Let me help," Harm said, stepping into the bathroom.

Mac took one look at him and knew he had overheard their conversation for which she was grateful; she didn't think she'd ever be able to recount it to him without completely losing it. Grabbing a towel, Harm draped it across his body before leaning down and picking up his sleeping daughter.

"Come on, pumpkin," he said as the child stirred.

Climbing out, Mac grabbed her towel and quickly dried Lily's back and legs before drying herself and wrapping the towel around her.

Walking back out into the bedroom, Mac picked up a marine tee of hers and placed it over the child's head before helping Harm thread her arms through – the child was too far gone to worry about putting her pyjamas back on.

Dressing herself in one of Harm's tees and her underwear, Mac dropped the towels into the hamper.

"I'll just take Lil to bed," Harm said as Mac pulled the bathplug.

"Oh...um..." she said and Harm turned back and waited for Mac to complete her thought. "Would you mind...is it okay..."

"Do you want her to sleep in our bed?" Harm asked and Mac nodded, that's exactly what she wanted.

As Harm settled the child into their bed, Mac extinguished the candles and straightened the bathroom. The moment Lily was comfortable she rolled from the middle and spread out starfish style across Mac's side.

"Guess that means you're in the middle," Harm said, holding up the covers for Mac to slide in. Mac had no complaints; what she needed most tonight was to be surrounded by love, by family, and this way she had it.

When morning dawned, Mac awoke to Lily pressed into her front and Harm pressed into her back. Thinking to herself that she was in a Rabb sandwich, she burst out laughing. Her laughing was enough to wake Lily.

"Mommy?" she yawned, as her mother's shudders caused her to move.

"Morning, baby," Mac said, kissing the child's head.

"Did I sleep with you?" she asked, although it was quite obvious she had.

"Yes, you did. You fell asleep in the bath with me and daddy put you in our bed," Mac explained, brushing the hair from her face.

"Good," Lily said with a nod. "I like sleeping with you." With that Lily snuggled down once more.

"I like sleeping with you too," Harm whispered seductively before kissing her ear. Mac grinned.

The morning's activities revolved around food, toys and cartoons on television. While Harm wasn't a fan, he did concede that there were a few catch up things they needed to do, like dusting and gardening and it would be a whole lot easier without three little helpers traipsing around with them.

Over sandwiches and milk for lunch, Harm and Mac discussed dinner and who would be cooking. Mac was offering to make lasagne and while Harm didn't want to be rude, they truth was Mac's lasagne was often nigh on inedible...and by the look on his daughter's face, she wasn't a fan either.

"I was thinking grilled fish and vegies," he said, knowing how much Mac detested cooking fish. One look at Lily told him she didn't think fish was any better an alternative to lasagne.

Before the discussion could continue the phone rang and Harm answered it.

"Bud, great to hear from you. How are you?" he said enthusiastically before listening intently. "Great...that's good to hear...Oh, I think we could be persuaded...Sure...Just give me a sec..."

Covering the receiver, Harm looked to his family around the table.

"Uncle Bud has invited us to a barbeque for dinner tonight. He said it's nothing fancy; burgers, sausages, salad and one of Aunty Harriet's cheesecakes for dessert," he said, looking from Lily to Mac. The twins were oblivious to the topic at hand.

"Yes!!!" Lily said, pumping her fist. "Aunty Harriet rules!"

"That's one vote yes. Mac?" Harm said and Mac nodded quickly, she was just as happy as Lily to be going to the Roberts' for dinner.

"Hey, Bud. That's a yes from us. Now, what can we bring?"

As the men continued their conversation, Lily's mind was racing with all the things she had to tell Nikki and Michael.

"Can we take the photos from the farm?" she asked and Mac nodded. "And can I take the doll Grams got me?" Mac nodded once more. "Oh, I can't wait to tell them about everything."

Mac looked at Harm. Their daughter was keenly aware that they were planning a permanent move to the farm and given the level of excitement at a simple dinner invitation, they knew she wouldn't be able to help herself and would reveal their plans.

"Guess we need to tell them tonight," Harm said to Mac as he came back to the table.

"I think so," Mac replied. It would be a hard thing to do but she knew it was only right that they be the ones to tell their dear friends of their impending departure.

Usually whenever they had evening plans, getting Lily to nap was a struggle because as she had repeatedly told them, she was no longer a baby. Today was a different matter altogether. Mac had just come from putting the twins down for their afternoon nap when Lily announced she too was going to bed.

"Why?" asked Harm, a grin on his face.

"Because that's the rule. If I have a nap now I can stay up late and that means I can play with Nikki and Michael for hours and hours. Right?" she asked, hands on hips.

"Yep, sounds like the rule to me," he replied, holding out his arms for a hug. Lily obliged. "Sleep well, pumpkin." He kissed her head and released her.

Repeating the same conversation with her mother in the living room, Lily headed to bed while Mac joined Harm for coffee in the kitchen.

"She was eager to go to bed," Mac commented, retrieving her hidden stash of chocolate cookies.

"She's a very excited girl," Harm replied, putting their mugs on the table before rethinking things. "Let's go sit on the sofa," he said, picking up the mugs once more; Mac followed.

Once the coffee and cookies were gone, Mac encouraged Harm to lie on the sofa and immediately snuggled up with him.

"We can go lie in bed, if you want to nap. Probably more comfortable than here," he said, caressing her face.

"Hmmmha," she murmured with a nod.

"Or we could just stay put," he said, not really wanting to move.

"Hmmm," she replied, nodding into his chest.

There was silence for a while until Mac decided to broach the subject they were both thinking about; how to tell the Roberts. Though they discussed it at length, in the end, Harm had kissed her head and just said they would go with the truth at the first opportunity they had,

Warm and snug in her husband's warm embrace, Mac couldn't help but drift off to sleep, her leg shifting to slide between his as her hand slid from around his neck to his chest. Harm smiled and held her securely to him before kissing her head and drifting off himself.

They had been at the Roberts' house fifteen minutes. The adults in the kitchen, the seven children scattered around engaged in various activities, when the mood changed from dramatically.

"Liar!" yelled Nikki.

"Am not!" yelled Lily.

"Yes, you are!" she screamed running into the kitchen.

"No, I'm not!" Lily screamed in reply running to her mother.

"Hey, hey, what's going on here?" Bud asked, turning from the sink.

"Lily's a liar!" Nikki said emphatically, "She making up all these stories."

"I'm not, mommy," Lily said desperately, holding onto her tightly. "She just doesn't believe me."

Harm had great trouble believing his daughter was a liar, true she was known to exaggerate the truth but what seven year old didn't. Deciding this situation was fast becoming out of hand, Harm sat at the table and beckoned Nikki over.

"What did Lily say, honey?" he asked quietly as Nikki climbed onto his knee.

"First, she said there was a rock fall and she was the hero and saved everyone," Nikki said in a tone which clearly indicated she didn't believe her.

"Lily was right," Mac replied. "Lily, Rose, Mattie and I were sitting on a rocky ledge which collapsed."

"And Lily ran all the way back to the house to get Uncle Harm, even though she'd just got her casts off," Harriet added, recalling the story from yesterday.

"And what we didn't know at the time was that Lily had been hit in the head by one of those rocks and had gotten a small piece embedded in her head. She was actually concussed and very unwell that night, so Uncle Harm and Lily's grandpa had to rush her to the hospital," Mac explained, rubbing her daughter's back, more to comfort herself, the memory was still quite raw.

"So, it sounds like Lily was right, Nikki," Bud said, wiping his hands. "I think you owe her an apology."

"Well, that might be true but she also said Mattie's getting married and she's going to be the flower girl," she spat.

"That's also true, Nikki," Mac said. "Mattie and Colin got engaged on the last day they were there and as they were leaving, Mattie asked Lily to be the flower girl."

"Oh," she replied, her bubble definitely popped.

"I think that's two apologies, Nikki," Bud said sternly.

"Then I guess the third thing's also true," she said looking between her godparents.

"What was that, Nik?" Harm said as the girl moved away from him.

"That you guys are going to leave here and move to the farm and live with Grams and Mattie and Colin," she said.

Bud laughed; he hadn't heard anything so absurd in a long time. Harriet joined in with a chuckle.

"Well, I guess that one may be a..." Harriet began but then saw Mac shaking her head. "It's true?"

Exchanging glances, Harm decided to take the lead. "That one is also true, Nikki, Aunty Mac and I decided that it's time we retire and as part of that retirement we will move to the farm."

"What?" Bud and Harriet said simultaneously.

Harm repeated the news but it didn't alleviate their disbelief in the matter.

"How soon?" Harriet finally asked and Mac took a deep breath.

"As soon as we can manage it," she replied, her stomach dropping at the sight of Harriet's sad face.

"Manage what?" asked Jimmy coming into the kitchen with his brothers.

The news was repeated and the shock was the same.

It was Jimmy who broke the silence.

"I'm gonna miss you all but the farm would be pretty cool," he said, sitting down next to Harm. While his siblings were all academically inclined, Jimmy wasn't. He much preferred hands-on activities to anything requiring a pen or computer.

"You'd be more than welcome to come and stay during vacation time," Harm offered, knowing the boy would be in his element.

"Really?" he questioned wide eyed. "I could stay even over the long summer vacation?"

"Definitely," Mac replied. "We'd love to have you come and stay. All of you."

This new offer changed the mood and while the men were barbequing and the women setting the outside table, there was a much lighter, brighter discussion taking place on the matter of the farm.

Long after Harriet's cheesecake had been devoured, and the youngest set of twins had fallen asleep in the playpen, Harm nursed Lily on his knee as everyone sat around the table chatting.

"You tired, baby?" Harm whispered kissing her head after she'd yawned for the third time in as many minutes.

"I'm okay," she replied, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"Goodness! It's nearly eleven," Harriet exclaimed. "No wonder the child is so tired. Where did the time go?"

Not having realised the time himself, Harm decided this was the right time to say goodnight and let their gracious hosts head to bed.

When all the farewells were done and the children safely buckled in the car, Harriet took Mac in a big hug. "I hope you have a wonderful life on the farm, Sarah MacKenzie-Rabb, but just remember that though I won't see you as often you are still my best friend and the most amazing woman I know!"

When the pulled away both were in tears and their husbands quickly bid each other farewell before they had a repeat performance.

"You okay?" Harm asked taking her hand as he drove away from the house.

"Yeah," she replied with a sigh. "I'm just going to miss them all so much; especially Harriet."

"I know," he agreed. "I'm going to miss them too."

"But we are doing the right thing...for us...for our family," Mac stated firmly.

"Yes, we are," Harm agreed.

As hard as it was, they couldn't make their life decisions based on others. They would do what's best for them and then plan to spend lots of vacation time together.

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**Thanks for reading! Love to hear from you!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

Happy St Patrick's Day! Le grá agus ar mhianta is fearr. xoxox

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Picking the twins up from day care then Lily up from the Roberts', Harm was surprised that Mac was still caught up at work. She was the one with the lighter workload at the moment and after being away from her desk for nearly two months, he hadn't thought she'd be pulling extra hours on her first day back.

Arriving home with the children, Harm set them up in the various activities so he could go and change before starting dinner. Mac had messaged him twice in the last hour, each one putting her ETA back another half hour. Deciding on something easy for dinner, Harm chose individual pizzas with pita bread bases. That way the children could choose what they wanted themselves and that would hopefully alleviate the 'I don't want it' meal debate that usually ensued when he cooked for the children in Mac's absence.

With the oven on, pita bases with sauce already on sitting on plates and bowls of fresh ingredients on the table, Harm went to round up the kids. When they had each washed their hands, Harm popped the twins into their chairs while Lily sat at the table.

"We're having pizza for dinner!" he said enthusiastically and waited for the cheer to come...he wasn't disappointed.

"Pizzzzza!" the twins enthused.

"Sounds yum, dad," Lily said, eying Harm's pizza sitting ready for cooking on the bench.

"It will be and the best thing is you get to make your own," he said, taking the first plate and moving to Rose.

By the time all three had been prepared, the twins' with their father's help, Lily's done by herself, there were ingredients over the table, but Harm didn't mind. It was all fresh, healthy food and if mess was what was required to get his kids to eat it then mess was fine with him.

When the oven timer pinged, Harm removed the pizzas and slid them onto their respective plates before cutting it up and leaving them to cool on the bench. Fixing the drinks, Harm handed the cups to his eager children before picking up Lily's pizza and sliding it in front of her. He waited a little longer knowing the twins weren't as cautious about the temperature of their food as was Lily.

"Are you going to cook yours, daddy?" Lily asked, noting his was still on the bench.

"I'm going to wait for mommy," he said, before blowing on the pizzas as he brought them over to his excited youngest children.

The three children were bathed and ready for bed before Mac came through the front door and was instantly mobbed by them; each one clambering for her attention. For Lily, this was the longest time she'd been away from her mom since Mac had been in hospital and she'd missed her desperately. While Harm's first reaction at his children's obvious love for their mother was to smile, it took one look at his wife's face to tell him this had not been a good day for her.

"Hey, hey," he said, scooping up the twins. "How about we give mommy a chance to get inside?"

Stepping back with the flailing toddlers, Harm allowed Mac and Lily to move in from the door, before using his hip to close the door.

"Hey," she said, quickly kissing his cheek. "Sorry I'm so late."

"Everything okay?" he asked, studying her face.

"Talk later," she said with a brief smile. "I'm just going to change...and then, what's that I smell? Is it dinner?"

"Pizza!" Lily said. "We got to make our own and everything."

"Sounds yum," she replied.

"Daddy made his and he was waiting for you to make yours...but I can do it, if you want?" she offered and Mac nodded. Lily ran off to the kitchen.

"Mac," Harm called as he put the twins down. Slowly she turned around, desperate for Harm not to press the issue. "Love you, he said when he realised she wasn't up for any other discussion.

She smiled.

Changing from her uniform to her pyjamas, even though it was only seven, Mac reappeared in the kitchen with Harry in her arms and Rose hanging onto her leg.

"I see you have some fans," he said as he rubbed her back.

"I do," she replied and Harm could see the tears well in her eyes.

"It's their bedtime," he said. "And the pizzas can wait to go in. Do you want to help me put them down?" Mac nodded, carrying Harry as Harm carried Rose.

Hugs, kisses and a bedtime story later, the twins were contentedly drifting off. When Mac turned to leave, Harm grabbed her arm and pulled her back to him before holding her tightly and kissing her head. Letting her go, Harm caressed her face.

"Just thought you could use it," he said, wrapping his arm around her waist and leading her back to the kitchen.

When they ventured into the kitchen Harm laughed; Lily had made her mother's pizza an exact replica of the one she'd made for herself.

"What's so funny, dad?" she asked, hands on hips and looking just like her mother.

"This pizza was supposed to be for your mom," he said, bopping her on the nose. "It looks exactly like the one you made for yourself."

"It is the same," she said indignantly. "Mommy and me love the same things...even the same pizza. Don't we, mom?"

"We certainly do," she replied, sitting at the table and smiling.

"We love chocolate and ice cream and pancakes and real meat and everything the same," she said, shaking her head at her father's lack of understanding on this matter.

"What about me?" he asked. "Do you both love me?"

Lily looked to Mac and she smiled. "Mostly," Lily finally said.

"Mostly?" he asked, grabbing her and holding her in the air. "Are you sure that wasn't supposed to be, 'Yes, daddy, we love you all the time'?"

"Yes, daddy, we love you all the time," she repeated giggling. Harm kissed her and put her back down. "Except for the times we don't!" She laughed and hid behind her mother.

Given the huge matching grins on his wife and daughter's faces, Harm wasn't going to pursue the matter. He was just happy to see them happy. As Harm placed the pizzas in the oven and set about cleaning up, Lily climbed up on Mac's lap and wrapped her arms around her neck.

"Did you have fun back at work, mom?" she asked, leaning her head on Mac's shoulder.

"It was okay," she replied softly. "Did you have fun with Aunty Harriet?"

"Yeah, the boys all went to some baseball thing, so Aunty Harriet took me and Nikki to the movies and to have lunch. We saw Avatar, which was totally cool and then we had burgers and fries and milkshakes and the boys missed out."

"Wow! Sounds like a good day, wish I had gone with you," Mac said, kissing Lily's head before resting their heads together.

Harm concentrated on his cleaning as mother and daughter chatted away, although not one comment got by him, he was storing it all up for later. The pizzas were ready just as it hit 7:30, Lily's bedtime. And while Harm knew getting the child back into routine was important, he also knew Mac seemed to need her right now and he wasn't prepared to interfere with things.

Still sitting on her mother's lap as Mac ate her pizza, Lily yawned a few times, resting her head in the crook of her neck.

"Want mommy to take you to bed?" she asked, wiping her hand on the napkin. Lily nodded.

Leaving half her pizza behind, Mac stood up and Lily wrapped her legs around her waist.

"Won't be long," she said before turning around so Lily could say goodnight to her dad.

True to her word, Mac returned seven minutes later, surprised to find her pizza gone.

"I put it in the oven to keep it warm," Harm said, getting to his feet once more.

"No, leave it," she replied, pushing him gently back into his seat. "It was nice but I'm not really hungry."

"What's up, gorgeous?" he said, taking her hand and pulling her to his lap. Mac sighed long and deep before resting her head on his. "Have a bad day?"

"Yeah," she replied, slumping into him. "You could say that."

"Tell me," he said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her securely.

"Well, the morning went alright and then...well, it's four weeks since my last period and with everything else that's happened I kind of forgot when it was due and it's never really on time. The last week I've been feeling a bit off but I just figured it was the fall, you know?" Harm nodded. "And then I had been at my desk for a while trying to catch up on the correspondence and I went out to photocopy something and a young female petty officer came up to me, so embarrassed, and told me I had a stain on my skirt."

"Oh, honey," he said, kissing her head.

"So, I took an early lunch, put on a long jacket that one of the civilian clerks had and came home to change," she continued.

"Not really the best first day back," he said, rubbing her back gently.

"No," she said with a deep sigh. "So I change, put things in soak and go back better prepared and nothing."

"Nothing? What nothing?" he asked confused.

"No more bleeding since. Not a drop," she said. "Once it starts it normally just continues. It doesn't go on and off like a faucet."

"Maybe it was just some spotting?" Harm offered as a suggestion.

"It was a bloody big spot!" she said, tearing up.

"Guess it ruined your day," he said, kissing her head. "But why so late?"

"Because I phoned the counsellor that I have to see before I have the hysterectomy because I am just so over all this crap and she could fit me in Friday. But Friday I had a meeting with Admiral Kelty which requires a lot of preparation. The Admiral agreed to change it, but he could only do tomorrow afternoon..."

"...Which meant you had to do a week's worth of work this evening."He completed her sentence. "How can I help?"

"Tuck me into bed now..." she said, leaning her head on his. "I have to be at my desk by 0600."

The rest of the week was a blur. Harm and Mac had both consulted their detailers in regards to their retirements and had left the particulars to them for the time being. Mac threw herself into the little work which crossed her desk as her CO knew her time was limited and there was no point in her starting a new project. Still, there was a host of mundane paperwork which always needed to be done and Mac was the one to do it.

By the time Friday's appointment came around, Mac was full of nervous energy. The more she thought about it the more she realised it needed to be done. This 'period' of hers had never eventuated beyond the soiled skirt which sent her home embarrassed to change. All week she'd felt bloated and had a couple of twinges in her back and while normally she'd ignore these as normal, her life since the last procedure had given her an insight into what could be normal for her and it strengthened her need, her desire to have the hysterectomy as soon as possible.

After Corrine Granton, the counsellor had introduced herself, she had explained to Mac that the counselling undertaken in these 'non-emergency' situation was usually three sessions over six weeks. She explained it allowed a woman to be counselled while going through a complete menstrual cycle and allowed for issues between hormones and emotions to be dealt with independently.

While Mac had hoped to be well into her recovery within six weeks rather than just being at the surgery stage, she agreed that it was something she wanted to do. While she knew surgery was the answer, she wasn't naive to think it was the complete answer, only a part. She knew she'd still need to cope with the change, to her body, to her psyche and getting that help before rather than after would be a great start.

The first session was mainly Mac giving her account of what had been happening with her and why she felt the surgery was the only way to go. While not a fan of counselling per se, Mac had to concede, if only to herself on the way home, that Corrine was someone she could talk too, someone who made her feel empowered and justified in her thoughts.

Saturday morning, Harm awoke early and was debating going for a run, while he'd gone on a few at the farm, he really wanted to get back into routine now he was home. Rolling over to face Mac, he stroked her face tenderly and spent time just gazing at her. When gazing didn't fulfil his need, he leant in and stole a kiss, then another.

Shuffling towards her, Harm pulled Mac closer, pressing gentle, loving kisses to her face and head. Mac stirred, wrapping an arm around him and lifting her face to meet his. Long, languid kisses were exchanged as Harm's hand disappeared under her tee, caressing her back before coming around to the front and teasing her breast causing her to moan into his mouth.

More than happy at being woken up this way, Mac managed to link her arms around his neck before bringing him to rest on top of her. Using his right hand, Harm edged down Mac's underwear before concentrating on his. He was just about to turn his attention to her top when the door opened and Lily stuck her head in.

"Mommy, daddy, are you awake?" she asked quietly, not being able to see them clearly.

Quickly, Harm shifted back to his side of the bed.

"What's wrong, Lily?" Mac asked. "It not even six yet."

"Well..." she began, pulling up the quilt, so she could climb into bed between both her parents. Harm instantly pulled back even further. "I'm a bit worried."

"About what?" Mac asked rolling onto her side and pulling her daughter close to her.

"My birthday's in two weeks and we haven't done anything about it," she said, despair evident in her voice.

"Your birthday?" Harm said, shaking his head. "This is about your birthday?"

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**Thanks for reading! Love to hear from you!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

While Harm tried to lose his erection and put on his underwear without alerting his daughter to the fact, Mac kept Lily engaged in her birthday conversation.

"What would you like to do?" Mac asked as she raked her fingers through Lily's tangled locks.

"I just can't decide," she said shaking her head. "At first I thought about a party. Then I thought maybe we could go to the farm for the weekend. Then I thought maybe Nikki and me could have a camp out in the backyard. Then..."

"You've been doing a lot of thinking, pumpkin," Harm said, settling into his side of the bed.

"I know...I've been awake forever," she said with a sigh.

Mac tried not to laugh. If only the issues which often kept her up at night were so simple.

"So, what is the thing you'd like to do most, Lil?" Mac asked as the child rolled onto her back before propping herself up on the pillows.

"Have a party at the farm with Grams and Nikki and Michael," she said. "And you guys too."

Exchanging looks, and smirks, Harm nodded.

"Well, if it's alright with Aunty Harriet and Grams, I'm sure we could organise it," Mac said and Lily squealed with delight before throwing herself at her mother and hugging her tightly.

"Are you sure? Really?" she asked pulling back.

"I'm sure," Mac replied. She knew she'd have her counselling appointment on the Friday so she wouldn't be caught at work. Harm, well, there was no guarantee but it was likely he'd be available.

"Can I call Nikki now and ask?" she said, diving across her mother for the phone.

"Don't think so, Lily," Harm said, tugging her back. "It's way too early for that. You can call after breakfast."

"Oh, okay, I guess that's alright," she said settling back down.

"Now that's all sorted, is there anything else you're worried about?" he checked as he rubbed her arm.

"Nope!" she said, shaking her head. "That was all."

"Good," said Mac kissing her cheek. "I'm glad everything's good."

"Me too," she replied, snuggling further into the bed.

"Aren't you going to go back to bed now?" Harm asked, crossing his fingers in hope under the covers.

"Don't be silly, daddy," she said with a laugh. "My bed will be cold now and yours is all warm and cosy."

Sighing deeply, Harm pulled the covers up over his daughter as he climbed out of bed. "I'm going for a run." He knew he had to burn off this energy somehow and with his nearly eight year old in his bed it wasn't going to happen the horizontal way.

For an hour Harm pounded the roads around his neighbourhood and while it did wonders for his fitness, it did little to alleviate his need and desire for his wife. Letting himself back into the house, he heard Harry fussing and went in to see his youngest children.

"What's wrong, Harry?" he asked softly when he realised Rose was still asleep.

"Daddy!" the boy cried, holding up his arms. "Daddy!"

Scooping him up, Harm placed several kisses on his head as he said good morning and declared his love for his only son. Realising the boy needed a diaper change before anything else; Harm did so before hitching him onto his hip and leaving Rose to sleep.

"Well, my boy," he said as he disposed of the diaper. "Daddy planned on having a shower...preferably with your mother but you seem to have put a kink in those plans. Are you and your sister working in tandem?" he asked, fully aware the child had no idea what he was saying.

Harry tucked his head under Harm's chin and wrapped a chubby arm around his neck. "Daddy shower."

"You want to have a shower with me?" Harm asked, heading back to his bedroom.

"Shower," Harry repeated before yawning.

"It's still very early for you, son. Sure you don't want to go back to bed for a little bit?" he asked and as he expected got no reply.

Mac and Lily were sleeping soundly as they entered the room. Harm pressed his finger to Harry's lips. "Ssh, we don't want to wake mommy and Lily."

Closing the bathroom door behind them, Harm put Harry down and quickly stripped off his sweat stained outfit. Doing the same for Harry, both Rabb men stood naked in the bathroom while Harm turned on the faucets and adjusted the temperature to a much cooler one than usual, given Harry's presence.

Preoccupied with the water, Harm didn't notice Harry studying his father intently. Looking between his father and himself, the toddler was trying to figure out why what daddy had was much bigger than what he did. Harm's first inclination of Harry's investigation into the male anatomy was when he grabbed hold of it with his cold little hand.

Fighting the instinct to shriek, Harm quickly grabbed the hand and pulled it away.

"What are you doing, Harry?" he asked, stepping into the shower and bringing Harry with him.

"Penis big!" he said pointing at the member in question.

Not really knowing how to have this conversation, Harm picked up the liquid soap and poured some into his hand.

Harry, who wasn't to be thwarted in his study, repeated his observation.

"Yes, it is," he replied, with a slight blush as he remembered the child's mother's first response in regards to his manhood. If he could recall correctly, she had blushed furiously then grinned widely when she first saw him in all his glory. "Now, would you like some soap?" he asked, hoping the topic was closed.

Bodies washed and hair shampooed, Harm turned off the water and they stepped out. Harm grabbed a towel and quickly dried the boy and replaced his diaper. Towel drying Harry's hair, Harm left it standing up spiky and Harry laughed at his reflection in the mirror. While Harry was busy looking at himself, Harm dried off and wrapped the towel around his waist.

"Towel," Harry said, tugging at the towel around his father's waist. "Me too!"

Taking a smaller towel, Harm folded it in half before wrapping it around his son's waist and tucking it into the diaper.

"Like daddy!" Harry said proudly as he beamed.

"Just like daddy," Harm said, his heart filling with pride at the sight of his son.

Dressed in the towels and bare-chested, Harm picked up Harry once more and headed into the bedroom, smiling when he saw his wife was awake.

"Want to show mommy our muscles?" Harm whispered to the boy and when he nodded Harm flexed his bicep and Harry followed suit.

"Aren't you two just too cute," Mac gushed at the sight of a father and son body building display.

"Cute?" Harm scoffed with a laugh. "We're men, we're not cute."

"We men, not coot," echoed Harry, raising both arms in a pose.

"Sorry," Mac said, fighting her laughter. "I meant you were both extremely handsome."

"That's better," said Harm, nodding at his son.

"That's better," Harry echoed.

Moving over to the dresser Harm pulled out some boxers. Checking that Lily was still asleep, he dropped the towel and stepped into his underwear before picking up the towel. Copying his dad, Harry dropped his towel.

"Boxers," he said, pointing to Harm's dresser.

"Daddy's boxers are too big for you, kiddo," he said, ruffling his son's hair.

"Penis big," he replied and Mac started giggling.

Not wanting to continue this conversation, Harm got out a pair of blue striped boxers and pulled them over Harry's diaper. Tucking them into the diaper at the top, Harry was able to move around without tripping.

"Me like daddy!" he said to his mother, smiling widely.

"You are just like your daddy," Mac said opening her arms.

Harry padded over and Mac scooped him up before kissing his head and saying good morning. Harm followed the child and got the same greeting which caused him to grin widely.

"Do you think we should make mommy some breakfast, son?" he asked Harry when the boy began to get restless at the lack of attention being shown as his mommy greeted his daddy.

Harry nodded and Mac smiled at his enthusiasm.

"What?" asked the child.

"Maybe some scrambled eggs," Harm said looking towards Mac for her approval.

"Scrabbled eggs," Harry echoed.

"And some toast," he continued.

"Toast," his son repeated.

"Some orange juice," he added.

"Owange juice," Harry said.

"Does that sound good?" Harm asked Mac.

"Sound good?" asked Harry looking at his mom.

"Sounds wonderful," Mac enthused. Pulling Harry back to her, she whispered. "Maybe you can cook some bacon too."

"Mmmm, bacon," he said; he loved bacon as much as his mother. "And bacon, daddy."

"I don't know about that," Harm said with mock seriousness and a shake of the head.

"Me make bacon for mommy," Harry declared.

"How about grilled tomatoes instead," Harm offered, knowing the storm about to brew.

"Bleck!" said Mac, poking her tongue out.

"Bleck!" copied Harry, doing the same.

"Mommy wants bacon," Mac whispered to Harry.

"Mommy wants bacon," Harry repeated, tugging on his father's arm.

"What about..." Harm began but Harry shook his head furiously.

"Bacon, daddy! Mommy wants bacon. Me make mommy bacon," he said emphatically and Harm could only laugh. Nothing got between MacKenzie genes and bacon.

While the men of the house went to prepare breakfast, which, upon Harry's insistence, included bacon, Mac slid out of bed, showered and dressed in denim shorts and a white tank top.

Appearing in the kitchen door twenty minutes later, with Rose on her hip, Mac stood and watched with love and humour as two of the people she loved most fussed around the kitchen to prepare her breakfast. Both still wore their boxers, Harm had her floral apron on, while Harry had on Lily's Barbie one. She could only laugh, which caught their attention.

"Oh you're up," Harm said, coming to greet his wife and daughter. "You could have had it in bed."

"I know," she replied, kissing his cheek. "But this way I get to see you both in your sexy aprons."

"That's always a bonus," he said, kissing her back. "And how are you, Rosie Rose?" Harm asked, hugging his youngest girl.

"Hmphf," she replied, snuggling into her mother. Rose was not a morning person.

"Would you like breakfast too, princess?" he asked as he caressed her face. "Eggs and bacon and toast."

"Bacon," she replied with a yawn and Harm shook his head. He was sure, if the others had the chance, their family crest would be a slab of bacon sizzling in a frying pan.

"Bacon for you too," he said with a sigh.

Mac popped Rose in her chair and wrapped her arms around her husband. "I'll compensate you well for preparing bacon for us later on," she whispered, gently thrusting into him so there was no mistake as to what form the payment would take.

"Mmmaacc," he moaned softly into her ear. "That does nothing to help me forget about this morning's interrupted tryst."

"I know. I was very disappointed myself," she purred, taking a quick peek at the twins to ensure they were safely occupied. "It was such a nice way to begin the morning." She pushed closer, pinning him between the cupboards and herself.

"We really need to get a lock for our door," he hissed as her hands moved across his chest, around to his sides and then slipped down under the waistband of his boxers.

"Aha," Mac agreed, pushing up onto tippy toes and claiming his lips with hers.

"Aha," he mumbled into her mouth, as he gripped her tightly to him.

"Toast!" Harry shouted forcing them to pull back quickly.

Harm quickly kissed her once more before sighing deeply and returning his attention to his son and the task at hand.

After breakfast, Lily, who had joined them late but in time for the bacon, helped her mom with the dishes as Harm took the twins to dress them for the day. Thinking he had done a good job by dressing them in record time, Harm placed them in the playpen and went to dress himself. On his way back to the living room he heard his wife giggling and watched as she picked up Rose.

"Your daddy's so silly!" she said as she laid the child on the sofa. "These sweatpants are on back to front. Didn't he realise Dora the Explorer is not supposed to be on your butt?"

Taking off Rose's blue and white trainers, Mac whipped off the pants before replacing them properly and putting her shoes back on. "But since we love him and he cooked us breakfast, we won't mention it, okay?"

"'kay," Rose said with a nod, though she really had no idea what was okay.

"What about you, my Mr Bodybuilder?" she asked as she swapped the twins over and picked the boy up. "Did daddy dress you right?"

"Not dress!" he said "Sweats."

"Are your sweatpants on right?" she asked, flipping him over. "Yes, they are. Good, daddy."

"Good, daddy," Harry echoed and Mac held him close to her. "You know, Harrison Matthew MacKenzie Rabb, if you grow up to be half the man your daddy is, you'll be a very fine man indeed."

Harry looked up at her with a creased brow. "You're daddy's boy, aren't you?" she asked, simplifying things. Harry laughed, and Mac kissed him. "Definitely daddy's boy which is perfect because I love your daddy very much.

"Love daddy," he said, squeezing his mom.

"You're very lucky to have the bestest daddy," she said, kissing his cheek.

"Daddy!" Harry squealed and while Mac's initial thought was he was just repeating the word, it was quickly dispelled as Harm wrapped them both in a huge hug and kissed his wife deeply. When she pulled back she could see the tears in his eyes.

"Love you so much," Harm said as he rested his forehead on Mac's.

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**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**


	33. Chapter 33

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

The morning's activities saw Harm staying home doing the housework with 'help' from the twins, as Mac and Lily went to do the grocery shopping. As Harm went around collecting clothing from the various hampers for the laundry, Harry trailed behind him carrying a few of the easier items. In the basement, Harm sorted the clothes for the different loads while Harry played with items from the small toy box they kept down in the basement for occasions such as this. Rose spent her time handing her father various items of clothing for his distribution.

Picking up her mother's black, lacy, strapless bra, Rose looked at it curiously.

"It's mommy's," Harm said, holding his hand out for the item.

Rose turned it over and held it by one hand and then the other, still not able to figure out what it did.

"It's mommy's bra," Harm explained, still waiting for the garment he considered to be one of Mac's sexiest.

"Put on!" Rose said, toddling towards her dad.

"No, it's mommy's special bra," he said. "We can't play dress ups with it," he said, adding it to the small pile of delicates.

"Put on!" she repeated, picking it back up. "Thank you."

Harm laughed, Rose was still learning her please from her thank you but at least she had the good manners to try and ask nicely.

"Turn around," he said, picking up the item and attempting to but it around her little body.

"Not me, you," she said pointing a chubby finger at him.

"No, honey, it doesn't fit daddy," he said, dropping it back into the pile.

"Try, daddy, try," she insisted but Harm shook his head. He knew from an episode early in their marriage that it wouldn't fit but there was no way he was going to explain how that little scenario came about to anybody.

Meanwhile, Mac and Lily had run various errands before they found themselves ready for the last task of the morning, grocery shopping. Wherever possible, Mac tried to shop alone. It wasn't that she minded the company; it was the 'extras' in the trolley. When her companion was Harm, he wanted to try all the 'healthy' versions of her beloved items and although he never questioned the sweeter delights she dropped into the trolley, Mac knew he wasn't all that impressed.

When her companion was Lily, she had to watch carefully. Lily had the tendency to drop in items as Mac's attention lay elsewhere. And the items weren't just confectionary treats but all sorts of weird and interesting additions. Once it was white shoe polish, another was adult incontinence pads, another time again it was a pack of colourful condoms. All of which Mac managed to artfully place on a shelf somewhere, well, except for the condoms...those could come in use.

On the very few occasions, Mac had the twins with her at the grocery store; she would place them both in a trolley, speed through the store picking up the barest essentials and promise them a treat only if they behaved. Which they usually did; although boisterous at times, the twins were quite well behaved thanks to their parents' strong sense of love and discipline.

Having finally reached the checkout, Mac waited with Lily who was growing increasingly impatient and hungry by the delay.

"They have all these checkouts and only four open," she complained loudly. "Why don't they open more and not make us wait?"

"That's a good question, Lily," said a woman standing nearby and Mac and Lily spun around.

"Ms Michaels, hi," Lily said, heading over to her friend's mom. "Where's Amy?"

"She's just getting some milk," Maggie Michaels explained, pointing towards the dairy section. "Are you enjoying summer vacation?"

"Oh, yes," Lily replied enthusiastically. "We spent four weeks at my Grams farm and it was the best."

"And I see you have your casts off," Maggie commented. "How are your ankles?"

"Much better now, thank you," she said, smiling sweetly. "But mom still says I have to take it easy."

"Well, you make sure you listen to your mom," Maggie reminded her. "She knows what she's talking about."

"Yes, ma'am," Lily said, nodding.

After finally getting through the checkout, Mac wheeled the trolley to the one at which Maggie, Amy and Lily were standing. The women chatted amiably while the girls caught up, giggling away.

"Mom, can Lily come play with my new Wii, please?" Amy asked, looking between her mother and Mac.

"It's fine by me, Amy," she replied. "But I think Lily should ask her mom first."

"Mommy, can I please go play at Amy's?" she asked, looking up with pleading brown eyes. "I promise I'll be good."

"You'll mind what Mrs Michaels tells you and use your manners?" Mac asked, knowing it would be received by her daughter as an instruction.

"Yes, mommy." She nodded eagerly.

"Then it's fine by me," Mac said, before looking at Maggie. "What time would you like me to collect her?"

"Well, we'll go have lunch, the girls can play for a while and ... can I give you a call when she's ready?" Maggie asked, looking to the happy children. When she was sure they weren't listening she added; "This vacation has been a little hard for Amy, we spent some time with my late husband's mother and family and Amy's been quite down. Lily might bring her out of her shell again."

Mac nodded and smiled sympathetically. She remembered the toll the loss of Mitch Michaels had had on Lily when Harm was away and she was pregnant with the twins; she could only imagine what it had done to the man's own daughter. Once more, she was reminded just how blessed she'd been that Harm had made it home to them safely.

"Just phone when you're ready," Mac said, patting the woman's arm. "We're going to the farm again in two weeks for the weekend to celebrate Lily's birthday, perhaps Amy would like to come with us. If it's alright with you," she added.

"I'm sure Amy would love it, but I might need to think about it," Maggie said quietly. "Nothing against you or Harm but Amy hasn't spent a night away from me since her dad died and ...well...can I think about it?"

"Sure you can," Mac said. "I won't say anything to the girls. Take your time and if you feel that it's something you can't do just yet then that's okay too...I won't take it personally."

After hugs, kisses and farewells, Mac loaded the groceries into the trunk and headed home. Her thoughts filled with the life that Maggie Michaels was experiencing...a life which could have been hers...Mac drove home on autopilot and was in the driveway before she knew it. Hearing the car pull up, Harm checked on the twins in their playpen before heading out to help.

Opening the front door he was met by Mac on the doorstep. Throwing her arms around his neck, Mac pressed up and kissed him passionately, not caring who was watching – something very unlike her. Not wanting to dissuade her activities but concerned by her actions, Harm pulled back slightly and caught the tears in her eyes.

"What happened? Where's Lily?" he asked, quickly scanning the area.

"We met Maggie and Amy Michaels in Safeway and Lily's gone to play there for the afternoon," Mac said taking a deep breath but not relinquishing her hold on her husband.

"Okay," he said, nodding. That explained the absence of his daughter but not his wife's emotional state. "Are you okay?"

Mac nodded before pressing her head into his chest and inhaling deeply. "Am now."

Not too sure what to make of it, Harm followed Mac's lead back to the car and unloaded the groceries with her. When everything was put away and they had prepared lunch for themselves and the twins, Mac went to collect the youngsters while Harm got their coffee.

The twins eagerly ate their funny face salads while Harm was working his way through his salad roll. Looking up he saw Mac had barely touched hers and he knew she wasn't over whatever it was that had resulted in that kiss when she'd gotten home.

Slipping from his seat, Harm went and crouched down next to her and took her hand.

"Talk to me," he said quietly, kissing her hand. "What's this about?"  
"I'm just being silly," Mac said, shaking her head.

"No, you're not," he reassured her, reaching up to caress her face.

"It was just Maggie Michaels and how hard things have been for her and Amy since she lost Mitch. It's been three years now and the pain is still so evident," Mac said, her eyes filling with tears once more.

Harm nodded; he clearly remembered Lily's response to the tragedy her friend experienced, how it had changed her. He also remembered how much pain and distress Mac had been in when he found her in front of The Wall on Christmas Eve, thinking she may have lost her husband.

"It wasn't us," he whispered, "We're still here ... together."

"I know," she said, nodding tearfully.

"Still gets to you though, doesn't it?" he asked, his own eyes filling with his wife's distress. Mac nodded. "I love you so much," he said, wrapping her in his arms and resting his head on her chest.

It had been three years since that night and Mac knew she should be over it; that the mere memories of that period in their life shouldn't reduce her to tears so easily but she couldn't help it. After the mess which had been her life she felt full sure that Harm would never come home again, that loneliness and heartache were to be her constant companions. It was a realisation that she could never get over ... never recover from the fact she truly believed she would one day lose her husband and her happiness...and it was something she could never discuss with him.

Instead of speaking, she held him tight and kissed his head and thanked God once again for another day with this man who was, without a doubt, the absolute love of her life. For his part, Harm held her just as tightly. He hated seeing her like this...seeing her past come back to haunt her...to make her believe that she didn't deserve a happily ever after. Before they were together, she seemed to have had a resigned air about her that suggested to him she didn't believe she deserved a life of joy and bliss.

Throughout their intense courtship Harm had done everything in his power to make her believe in him, in them and in forever after and he knew it had worked, for the most part. Since their marriage, there had only been four occasions where he'd seen this look in her eyes, the one that told him she was scared of losing it all...the fear she couldn't verbalise.

The first was in the early stages of her pregnancy with Lily, with hormones coursing through her and still on an emotional rollercoaster about actually being pregnant; Mac had overheard Harm on the phone one day and thought he was being secretive over something. Answering a second phone call, Mac was surprised to find the caller was Renee. When Mac informed her that Harm wasn't home, she'd said it was okay she'd catch him later. When Harm had been late home that night, Mac was in tears having convinced herself that he was leaving her for Renee. She couldn't have been further from the truth and it took him all night to convince her of that fact.

The second time was when she was in labour with Lily and a nurse had made an insensitive comment about Mac's long and hard labour which made her think she was going to lose her precious baby. The third had been the night at The Wall and the fourth had been today. He knew nothing would take away her fear but she would come to terms with the events of the day, shake it off and become the squared away Marine she prided herself on being. But for now, he held her, declared his love for her, promised her he'd be there forever and finally dried her tears, kissed her head and made her eat her lunch.

Deciding Mac needed an active afternoon, Harm suggested they allow the twins a short nap, pack some drinks, snacks and the picnic blanket and head for a playground which was specially built for under fives; Mac readily agreed. Heading out a couple of hours later, Mac smiled at her husband and he smiled back; her eyes were clear, the fear tucked away once more but he longed for the day the fear would be gone, not just hidden.

The twins were busy playing on the enclosed playground, complete with bright red shade sails protecting them from the sun, soft fall mulch in case they fell and as many slides, climbing frames, steps and bridges they could manage. Harm sat on the picnic blanket, under a nearby tree, just near the gate while Mac sat between his legs, leaning back on him, their focus on one twin each.

Every now and then, Harm kissed Mac's head and stroked her arm, while they chatted about every day things. As the time headed towards five, they turned their attention to dinner and picking Lily up. Before they came up with any definite plan, Mac's cell rang.

"Mommy, can I stay at Amy's tonight, please?" Lily said without greeting. "Ms Michaels said it was okay with her if it was okay with you and Amy said I could borrow pyjamas from her and Ms Michaels said I could stay for breakfast and ..."

"Whoa! Slow down, Lily," Mac said, smiling at her daughter's enthusiasm. "So, I take it you'd like to sleepover at Amy's tonight," Mac clarified, looking towards Harm for his response, he nodded.

"Yes, please, mommy," she said quickly.

"Are you sure, Lily?" Mac checked. "I don't want you calling me at midnight because you want to come home." Even she didn't believe her words, she'd pick her child up any time any place but she wanted to make sure the child was ready for a whole night commitment.

"I'm sure, mommy. Really I am. Please?" she begged and Mac gave in.

"Sure, baby," she said. "You can sleepover."

"Thank you, mommy, thank you so much. We're going to have so much fun and ..." she rambled before Mac interrupted,

"How about you put Mrs Michaels on and let me make sure she's willing to have you," Mac said.

A quick conversation with Maggie confirmed Mac's thoughts that Amy was doing much better with Lily there and Mac beamed. The child did seem to have a wonderful healing effect on others, especially herself.

"So, only four for dinner," Harm said, his eyes following both twins.

"Only four," Mac confirmed, pocketing her cell.

"So, how about Romano's for an early dinner, baths for the kids and then bed..." he suggested and Mac grinned.

"What about us?" she sassed, knowing the bed reference was for them.

"Well, I plan of spending the evening worshipping every inch of your body," he hissed into her ear. "Kissing and sucking and licking and stroking..."

"Oh God," she mumbled as he sucked on her earlobe. "I think we better get things started right now or I'll explode long before we hit the sheets."

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**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**


	34. Chapter 34

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

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The twins had been fed, bathed and bedded down just before seven. Mac knew they were risking an early wake up as the twins really ever only slept ten hours but she was hoping with the shorter nap and the afternoon of activity they would sleep at least twelve. In the end she conceded that so long as the next few hours were uninterrupted she wouldn't care what time they got her up in the morning.

Returning from doing one final lock up check of the house, Harm entered their bedroom and grinned when he heard the shower running. Stripping off quickly, he padded into the bathroom and stepped into the shower with his wife, instantly pressing her against the wall and devouring her with his kiss.

Not wanting to waste this opportunity, Mac wrapped a leg around his waist and used her arms to pull her up into position.

"Wanna make it to bed?" Harm asked as he sucked his way along her collarbone.

"Next time," she groaned as she arched into him.

The bed was their next destination after they'd come down from their first high caused by a fast and furious encounter. Laying entwined with his wife, Harm caressed her face before moving his hand to her back and rubbing lazy circles up and down her spine. Once he had recovered sufficiently, Harm made good on his promise to worship every inch of her body.

Slipping under the covers, Harm began at her feet alternating between massaging and kissing them before working his way up one leg then the other. As he massaged her inner thigh, Mac moaned at the flutters it caused in her stomach. Kissing his way across her abdomen, Harm shifted his hands to her torso, his knuckles grazing the underneath of her breasts, causing her to shudder.

While she had had many lovers in the past, it had all been about sex; with Harm it was so very different. She loved the time and energy he spent exploring her body and the reactions she got when she returned the favour. Knowing that he loved every part of her, including her surgery scars and pregnancy stretch marks, made her fall more in love with him each and every time. She also knew he loved it when he turned her to into mush with his ministrations. He loved the knowledge that she gave herself to him completely, that she trusted him implicitly with every part of her.

What she loved most about him in these encounters though, was that although he knew he had absolute control over her, he never once abused that power. He never once made it about anything other than her and that in itself showed her the amazing love he had for her.

Just as Harm had come to the decision he was ready for their second encounter of the evening, Mac's cell vibrated on the bedside table.

Normally, in the current circumstance, Harm would bury the device under the covers and ignore it until a more suitable time but with Lily away from home, he knew Mac had to answer it. Grumbling, she leant across and picked it up.

"Hey, baby... everything ... alright?" she asked, trying to keep her voice even and unaffected by her husband's unfaltering attention.

"Yes, mommy," replied Lily. "I just called to say good night."

"That was very nice of ...you," she said, catching her breath as Harm dipped below the sheet once more.

"Are you okay, mommy?" she asked, listening intently.

"I'm fine, Lil," she replied breathlessly, trying to still her husband's hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked, not at all convinced all was okay.

"I was just putting away toys," she said in a lie. "The twins can be very messy."

"Yeah, I know... you must have a lot to do...you sound out of breath," Lily remarked and Mac shook her head, the child was too observant for her own good.

"Yes, they are," Mac agreed. "Mommy's had lots of work to do."

"Why don't you get daddy to help you?" Lily commented.

"Oh, daddy is helping me," she replied before she could stop herself.

"Okay then, good night mommy," she said.

"Night, pumpkin, I love you," Mac replied.

"Tell daddy good night from me too," Lily added as an afterthought.

"I will, baby, sleep well."

Concluding the call Mac tossed the phone away, not wanting it to interfere any more than it already had. Grabbing at Harm's head, she brought him back up her body and instigated their second round of lovemaking. This time it was far more rhythmic and certainly a lot longer than their shower encounter, each taking the time to express their love with their whole body.

Satisfied, sated and slick with sweat, Mac and Harm lay tangled in the white cotton sheet of their bed, allowing blissful slumber to come and claim them. Mac had just drifted off when the doorbell rang and Harm swore. ''What is it with interruptions today?'' he muttered to himself as he slipped out of bed and into a robe. There seemed to be some conspiracy, led by his daughter, that he and his wife would be plagued by interruptions. This time, however, he thought as he headed to the door, he couldn't blame Lily.

He couldn't blame Lily until he opened the door and saw her standing on the step with a very embarrassed Maggie Michaels.

"Where's my mommy? Is she okay?" Lily asked, glaring at her father.

"Mommy's fine, Lily. She's asleep. What's wrong?" he asked, looking between his daughter and Maggie.

"She didn't sound fine. What were you doing to her?" Lily demanded with her hands on her hips.

Harm shook his head, not quite understanding why his daughter was so upset.

Without an answer from her father, Lily headed to the master bedroom while Harm looked to Maggie for some answers.

"Lily was fine until she spoke to your wife. I heard her say goodnight and headed out to make some hot chocolate for the girls. When I came back she was still listening on the phone but she wasn't talking," Maggie explained, a flush colouring her cheeks.

"Oh," was all Harm could say. His daughter had most likely heard them make love, and though he wasn't too sure exactly what she'd heard, he was mighty embarrassed about it. "Sorry you had to bring her home."

"That's okay," Maggie said, glancing to check on Amy who was in the car. "Lily said she still wanted to sleepover she just really needed to check that Mac was alright – something about her moaning."

"Yes, ah, well, you see..." Harm stammered and Maggie laughed heartily.

"I thought as much," she said, trying not to laugh at the man's obvious discomfort.

"Look, come on in, I'll see if Lily is satisfied that her mom's okay," he said and headed towards their room.

"I told you mommy was alright," Harm said as he entered the room to find Lily sitting on the bed, facing Mac who was propped up against the pillows.

"I needed to check," Lily said defiantly. "She didn't sound okay on the phone. She was all 'ow' and 'ohh' and that kind of stuff."

"But you can see I'm fine, Lily," Mac said, caressing the child's face.

"Well, what were you doing before?" Lily questioned, not wanting to concede this issue yet.

"Exercising," said Mac. "I was trying the new Zumba DVDs Aunty Harriet let me borrow."

"Then why were you calling daddy's name?" she asked narrowing her eyes as she looked at her father.

"Because I got stuck and I couldn't get up and I was calling him so he could help me," she replied. Although she had always prided herself in always telling her daughter the truth, there were some things a daughter didn't need to know, and this was one of them.

"And did he help you?" she asked, looking back to her mother.

"Yes, daddy was very helpful," Mac replied, winking at her husband.

"Okay," she finally conceded. "I guess if you're really okay I can go back to Amy's."

"I'm really okay," Mac promised, kissing her head. "Thank you for caring so much, baby."

When Harm had seen his daughter and Maggie Michaels to the car and locked the door once more, he headed back to his wife. The moment their eyes locked, Mac burst into laughter and the look of embarrassment on her husband's face.

"What did she say?" Mac asked, knowing only Lily could be responsible for that particular expression.

"She said, and I quote, 'You better help mommy...all that moaning can't be good for her. Maybe you have to kiss her better'."

"Maybe you do have to kiss mommy," she said, kneeling up and letting the sheet fall away from her naked form. "It will definitely make me feel better."

"Will anything else make you feel better?" he asked, crawling over her until he rested on all fours above her.

"Oh, I can think of one or two things," she said, pulling him to her and starting things once more.

Before she realised what was happening, Harm was off her and searching for something.

"Don't worry," Mac said, "I found it, switched it off and hid it under the mattress to be sure."

With dawn came the early awakening of the twins, something they had both expected but neither regretted.

"I'll get them," Mac yawned, knowing they could settle them into their bed and the twins would drift off for another while.

"I'll go," said Harm but Mac shook her head.

"No, you did more than enough last night," Mac purred, leaning over and giving him a passionate thank you kiss. "This is the least I can do."

Attending to the necessary diaper changes, Mac took each twin by a hand and led them back to her bed. Pulling up the covers, she allowed them to scamper over towards Harm who had put on some boxers in her absence. Harry situated himself next to Harm and was rewarded with a kiss to the head and his daddy's arm wrapping around him.

Rose cuddled into her mommy and threaded a hand under her tee to her back. Kissing her head, Mac looked across to her husband before reaching over and caressing his face.

"Love you," she whispered when his eyes opened.

"Love you too," he replied, kissing her hand.

When Harm awoke again he was surprised to find Mac still wide awake and gazing at him.

"Whatcha thinking?" he asked, moving backwards as Harry tried to claim more space for himself.

"How much I want you to hold me right now," she said with a sigh.

Taking a moment to evaluate the situation, Harm slipped out of bed, rearranged his pillows before moving Harry and Rose towards his side of the bed. Padding around he told Mac to move in and slid in behind her, wrapping him arm around her waist and kissing her head.

"Better?" he asked, rubbing her stomach.

"Much," she replied with a sleepy smile before drifting off once more.

At a much more appropriate time, the MacKenzie Rabb family were up having breakfast and despite the twins insistence that the meal include bacon, they didn't succeed. While she loved the meat, especially when crisp and hot, she only ever had it once a week and so did her children.

"Cereal and toast," Mac said firmly.

"With bacon," Rose pleaded tugging at Mac's arm but Mac shook her head. "Please, mommy!"

"If only she was that desperate to eat her vegetables," Harm commented as he put her cup of juice in front of her.

"As a vegetarian, you'll never understand the qualities of bacon," she said smiling as she kissed his cheek.

With Harry and Rose's requests falling on deaf ears, Harm decided to change the topic of the morning.

"Who wants to visit Aunty Harriet and Uncle Bud?" Harm asked and instantly the twins were distracted.

"Me!!!" the twins yelled in unison.

"Well, if you eat up you can come with me," Harm said, before turning around to Mac. "Bud wanted some help with the garbage disposal...he said to bring the kids and have lunch. Is that alright with you?"

"What time's he expecting you?" Mac asked as she mopped up a juice spill.

"Any time after 1000, why?" he asked, not sure if Mac had had plans for them herself.

"Oh, no reason. I'm just thinking about Lily. Why don't you take the twins and I'll wait til Lily is ready to be picked up?" she said and Harm nodded.

It was just on lunch when Mac and Lily pulled up in the Roberts' driveway. Lily had yawned the whole way from the Michaels' house and Mac could only smile.

"What time did you go to bed, pumpkin?" Mac asked as she climbed out of the car.

"Late," Lily replied with yet another yawn.

"Late as in ten or midnight?" Mac asked knowing Lily was usually a wreck if she wasn't asleep by eight...the time she'd made her journey back home.

"Well, Ms Michaels made us go to bed at nine...and then we were talking and then Ms Michaels told us to go to sleep because it was ten and then we were giggling and stuff and I fell asleep but then later I woke up and Amy and I went to the kitchen and it was twelve something and then we went back to bed and watched her Flushed Away DVD and then I think I fell asleep," she rambled as they headed to the front door.

With some quick calculations, Mac realised it was probably closer to two before her little girl had fallen asleep.

"No wonder you're so tired, baby," Mac said, ruffling her hair. "Did you have fun?"

"Oh, lots, mommy. Amy's mom said I was the best thing this vacation and I could go over anytime," she said and Mac smiled proudly. Her daughter was definitely a breath of fresh air.

As the kids played throughout the house and yard and the men played at fixing the garbage disposal, which Mac knew would result in Bud having to call out someone more qualified, Mac and Harriet sat on the back porch with iced tea. The conversation was easy and relaxed and Mac breathed a sigh of relief. She had been anxious about the visit because she thought it would all be about how much Harriet would miss them and she wasn't ready for that sort of emotion, not yet.

Lunch amounted to barbequed sausages and chicken with assorted salads and Harm watched as his children ate with gusto, including the various salad items they refused to even look at at home.

"What's your secret, Harriet?" he asked as he spooned some more potato salad onto Harry's plate.

"Secret?" she questioned.

"Yeah, secret," he repeated. "At home, Rose carries on like I'm trying to poison her if I so much as dare to put tomatoes on her plate and look at her." He gestured to the child who had just popped a whole cherry tomato into her mouth; not caring juices were spurting out as she crunched down.

"I don't know," Harriet replied with a shake of her head. "Perhaps it's the promise of what comes next."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"All my kids, and yours, know that if they eat what's on their plate then they can have whatever they like for dessert," she said as if it was a given fact.

"But they're two and a half, how do they know that?" he protested.

"They must sense it," she said with a giggle.

"I make the same deal with them at home," he said in his own defence.

"Ah, but you don't add the extra special ingredient, now do you?" she asked as Rose asked for more.

"And what's that?" he asked, prepared to do anything to get his children to eat more healthy things.

"It's a secret, Harm," she said with a shake of her head.

"What if I beg?" he asked.

"Well, that wouldn't be an act becoming an officer," Mac said, enjoying this conversation immensely.

"It would be becoming a father," he answered, smirking at her. "So?"

"Lily?" Harriet called, she was the youngest child, aside from the twins, so she'd be the best person to consult on the matter.

"Yes, Aunty Harriet?" she replied.

"Your daddy wants to know the secret ingredient in the salad, should we tell him?" she asked and Lily considered her answer.

"You mean the special fairy glaze?" she asked and Harriet nodded.

"Fairy glaze?" Harm asked, how was it he had never heard of it before?

"I don't think so, Aunty Harriet," she replied. "You always said it was a secret and not to tell anyone outside of the house."

Deciding to let the matter drop for now, Harm was determined he would find out what went into the fairy glaze. By the time they left for home he was none the wiser and it was bugging him big time. As all the children napped, Harm decided to call Harriet and ask once more but Harriet's response was to laugh heartily. In the end, Harm gave up.

Spending the afternoon on Google, Harm tried to research the topic. However, he soon became disheartened, and somewhat disgusted, that the search phrase 'fairy glaze' took him to all sorts of inappropriate sites.

Mac had been watching on with a permanent smile. She knew the secret, had done so since Lily was little but had never thought to tell Harm. Now, he was on such a mission she figured if she didn't tell him he'd make himself crazy.

"I can tell you if you like," Mac said as he grumbled at the computer.

"You know?" he asked as his head shot up over the monitor.

"I could do," she said biting down on her bottom lip.

"What is it?" he asked padding over to her.

"Well, it requires a visual demonstration," she said seriously. "So, if you bring me some coffee, a brownie, a bowl of water and the herbs and spices box, I'll show you."

Within minutes, Harm was back with everything she'd requested on a tray.

"So," he asked, propping it on the coffee table and sitting alongside her.

Picking up the coffee, Mac took a sip before placing it on a coaster on the table. Then she picked up the brownie, took a bite and placed the plate next to her mug.

"So?" he prompted looking at her coffee and brownie curiously.

"So?" Mac echoed. "Oh, the coffee and brownie are for me...I couldn't be bothered getting up myself." She chuckled.

Dipping her fingers in the water, Mac pondered things for a moment before lifting them and flicking the drips at her husband. "You've just been fairy glazed."

"What?" he asked, brushing the drops from his face.

"Fairy glaze...this is it," she said gesturing at the bowl.

"What about the herbs and spices?" he questioned.

"Nothing to do with them but I thought it might give it away if I only asked for coffee and a brownie," she said as she laughed.

"So fairy glaze is just water?" he said shaking his head, Mac nodded. "But how does that get the kids to eat salad?"

"Harriet has a pretty pink spray bottle she has decorated with glitter and sparkles, the kids love it," Mac said, laughing harder at the priceless expression on her husband's face.

"They eat their vegies because Harriet sprays water on them," he said incredulously.

"Aha," she said, wiping tears from her eyes.

"You're finding this incredibly funny," he said with mock seriousness.

"I am," she said with a giggle. "You should have seen your face."

Harm poked his tongue out which only caused Mac to laugh harder. Having had enough of the whole episode, Harm decided to stop Mac's laughing with the only sure-fire tactic he knew. Crowding her, he forced her back into a corner of the sofa before looming over her. When Mac continue to laugh he leant down and kissed her...and continued to kiss her until fairy glaze was a distant memory and her only focus was on breathing, and trying to get his clothes off him before she combusted.

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**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: I'm currently writing ch 48 and hope to finish on 50. Thanks to all those who are still with me, I do appreciate your commitment._**


	35. Chapter 35

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

----------------change--------------------

The following two weeks raced by in a blur for Mac...there were birthday preparations, Harm's absence for an investigation, discussions with Mattie and Colin in regards to their move, and with Grams about farm matters, financial discussions with Frank, conversations with Trish about it all.

For Harm, it was pretty much the same with the additional issue of Mac. To an outsider there wasn't much different but to him there was, big time. She was moodier and quickly agitated but it only seemed to be directed at him. Then there was the issue of sleep, or lack thereof, while she had claimed to be exhausted she often got up in the middle of the night and spent time on matters she considered important but Harm thought were trivial, not that he ever voiced that opinion.

Additionally, there was the topic of sex, and once again, lack thereof. While Harm was dutifully given a kiss hello and a kiss goodbye, and while she let him hold her when they managed to be in bed at the same time, affection was not really evident and actual sex was not even a remote possibility. While he hadn't really noticed it in the first few days, his return, after 36 hours away, highlighted her demeanour.

By the time the Friday before Lily's birthday rolled around they were both more than exhausted by it all. Harm had been at the office until late the night before to make sure he could get away early Friday afternoon. Mac had barely said two words to him remotely personal all Friday morning and Harm thought perhaps it was her counsellor's appointment that had her preoccupied.

As per their plans, Mac had gone to Bethesda from The Pentagon while Harm picked up the twins and returned home. Harm was going to pack his vehicle with what they had packed for themselves and the kids, Mac would pick up Amy Michaels on her way back and then they would both drive their vehicles to the Roberts' where Harm would take Michael and Jimmy, who had begged to be allowed visit the farm, and Mac would pick up Lily and Nikki.

From the look on his daughter's face last night when Harm had told her of the plans, he knew Lily wasn't looking forward to being with her mother in the car for three hours. Lily knew Mac was having problems lately and while no one was saying what it was, Lily, with all the wisdom of a nearly eight year old, believed it to be her uterus.

When they arrived at the Roberts' Harm hoped Lily wouldn't make a fuss about which car they travelled in. His thinking for taking the twins and the luggage was so he could do the lifting, and that he was probably more suited to chatting to the Roberts' boys. Mac, on the other hand, was noticeably quiet since returning from her appointment and chances are she would barely say a word on the trip and the three girls would happily chatter away. And that's how the trip to Grams' farm worked out.

Arriving in time for a dinner Grams had spent all day preparing, the children, all seven of them, ate heartily. Harm ate little and Mac ate less, the only person who seemed to notice was Grams and she made a mental note to raise the topic after the children had settled for the night.

As Lily and Mac gave the newcomers a quick tour of the farmhouse, barn and the immediate yard Harm set about organising beds for all; like last time, the twins would sleep opposite their parents, Jimmy and Michael would share the study, while the girls would sleep on the sofa and mattress once again borrowed from next door.

Depositing the twins bag in their room, Harm was startled by his grandmother's sudden appearance behind him.

"What's going on with you and Sarah?" she said getting straight to the point.

"Nothing," Harm replied automatically.

"Try again," she said. "Neither of you ate, you both look exhausted and I don't think you've exchanged a word since you arrived."

"Sorry," he apologised, shaking his head, before dropping it.

"What's wrong?" she prompted.

"Honestly?" he asked, looking up at Grams, she nodded. "I don't know. Things have been going downhill in the past two weeks."

"Why?" Sarah probed. This was a far cry from the loving couple she'd farewelled just three weeks earlier.

"I don't know, Grams," he sighed. "I've tried to work it out, tried to ask, I just keep getting shot down."

"Is it the endometriosis?" she asked, rubbing his arm, trying to ease the pain she saw building in his eyes.

"Yeah, I think so. Her moods are all over the place, she's lost her appetite, she's experiencing discomfort – all fits the profile," he said, tears stinging his eyes.

"What did she say about her appointment with the counsellor today?" Sarah asked, taking his arm and sitting him on the bed.

"She hasn't," he replied with a sigh. "She picked up Amy on the way back so there's not been a lot of opportunity but I did ask and got brushed off, Harriet asked and got a curt response."

"Oh, sweetie," she said, hugging him to her. She hated seeing her precious boy struggling like he was. "You'll just have to love her a whole lot more."

"I know," he said, nodding in agreement. "It's just hard when I'm not even sure she likes me at the moment."

Before long the house erupted in noise as Mac came back in with the twins yelling about something. Quickly, Harm descended the stairs to find her holding one arm of each muddy twin.

"Oh my goodness," Grams said, trailing behind her grandson. "They found the one muddy patch out there."

"Yes, they did," Mac said curtly. "Two seconds...I turned to open the gate for Jimmy and they were straight into it."

"I'll fix them up as good as new" Harm said, reaching out to take the children.

"What? Don't you think I'm capable of doing it?" she challenged, glaring at him.

"You're capable of doing it," Harm said confidently. "I was just offering."

"Fine," she said, shoving the pair towards him before turning on her heel and storming out the back.

Harm gritted his teeth before looking at his grandmother and shrugging his shoulders.

"I can't win," he said simply before taking the twins upstairs, bathing them and dressing them for bed.

Meanwhile, Sarah padded out to the porch and watched the children playing an impromptu baseball game. Their laughter and joy at the simple things warmed her heart and she couldn't help but smile at their infectious good humour. That happy buzz lasted until she saw Mac sitting on the sofa watching the same scene with a blank look on her face.

"Children's laughter is delightful, isn't it?" Grams said, sitting on the sofa next to Mac.

"Yes, it is," Mac replied in a formal tone.

"Forgive me for asking, Sarah, but what's wrong?" she asked, taking her granddaughter-in-law's hand.

Slowly, Mac looked up at her, her big brown eyes filling with tears. "No idea," she said sadly.

Grams' brow creased. "What do you mean 'no idea'?"

"I mean no idea," she repeated, shaking her head. "I was doing so well...we were doing so well and in the space of two weeks it's gone to shit...oh sorry."

"It's alright, dear, I've used the word myself on occasion," she said with a small guilty smile. "So, what's gone wrong?" she pressed.

"It's me...all me...isn't it always?" she said, trying to laugh at herself but not succeeding. "I've just been on a downward spiral and can't stop it..."

"Have you spoken to that grandson of mine?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"I didn't want to put him through this all again," Mac said, her eyes focused on the children playing.

"But he's already going through it," Sarah observed.

"I know," Mac said, biting down on her lip. "I guess I didn't want to make it worse...I feel like absolute..."

"Shit?" Sarah offered and Mac smiled.

"Yeah, shit," she agreed, she'd been trying to pick a more suitable word but 'shit' summed it up.

"So, why don't you talk to him?" she questioned. "It might make you both feel better."

Mac nodded but the truth was she didn't want to talk about it or think about it or consider the reasons...she just wanted it all to be over and to feel in control of herself, her own emotions, her own thoughts and actions once more.

Any further conversation was curtailed by Lily running over to ask if they could have the dessert Grams had promised, and everyone traipsed back inside. While she was having her own problems, Mac had vowed not to spoil her daughter's special birthday weekend.

Later that night, with all the children and Grams bedded down for the night, Harm slipped into bed and waited for Mac to return from the bathroom; she never did. Making his way to the kitchen, Harm wasn't sure which way to approach his wife. He had already tried the direct route; it failed. He'd tried to be subtle; it failed. So, without a plan he forged ahead anyway.

Mac was sitting at the kitchen table as he entered the room and he threw her a smile, she looked at him but barely responded.

"I'm getting some water, can I get you something?" he asked, moving to safe ground.

"No, thanks," she replied, opening up a magazine.

"Are you sure?" he asked, grabbing a glass.

"I'm more than positive I know whether I want a fucking glass of water," she hissed, standing up and storming out to the yard.

For a few moments, Harm stood in stunned silence in the kitchen. While they had had their share of arguments since they'd first met, he'd never heard her curse at him in such strong terms. Deciding there was no going back; Harm drew a deep breath and followed her outside.

Seeing Mac leaning on a porch post looking desperately sad, Harm's first inclination was to hold her close and forget everything else, however, he didn't. Fighting instinct, he stood by a nearby post, looking at the darkness around them.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly and without accusation.

"What do you think?" she hissed, her temper still evident along with her tears.

"What did your counsellor say today?" he continued, ignoring the tone.

"She said that I seemed very tense and stressed and perhaps more counselling was the way to go," she hissed, totally unimpressed with the day's session.

"And what do you think?" he asked, knowing he was playing with fire.

"I think she's a stupid bitch who doesn't know what she's talking about," she spat and Harm nodded, unable to think of a suitable response at this stage. "What are you nodding for?" she asked, wheeling around and glaring at him. "You haven't met the woman!"

"I know," he said calmly, turning to face her. "Mac, what can I do to help you?"

And with those few words Mac exploded into a tirade which covered everything from her not needing his help to his sexual prowess with a dozen topics, not to mention expletives, in between.

Knowing she needed to vent, regardless of how painful it was, Harm let her go on until she made herself so flustered and confused as to what she was saying she slapped her hand against her forehead and ran off into the night.

Sitting down on the steps, Harm placed his elbows on his knees before hanging his head low and linking his fingers behind his head and trying to breathe through his swirling emotions. He knew, despite everything, that the woman who had just fled from his sight was still the love of his life. He knew she didn't mean the hurtful, spiteful words and that she'd be absolutely devastated by her outburst, probably more than he was right now. They had been in this situation before but the decline into such oblivion had never been so quick and so severe. He said a silent prayer that the hysterectomy would give him back the Mac he knew and loved.

Realising it had been at least fifteen minutes since she'd run off, Harm decided to go and look for her. For the next twenty minutes, he searched the barn and surrounding yard, to no avail. He checked his boulder, the driveway and the other side of the house which proved fruitless. Coming back to check the house, in case Mac had returned in his absence, Harm was confronted by his grandmother.

"Your talk didn't go well," she observed as she studied her grandson's face.

"Mac tell you that?" he asked, hoping it meant she was back inside.

"No, I heard you," she replied and Harm shook his head sadly.

"Did we wake the kids?" he asked, hoping they hadn't, for everyone's sake.

"No, that's why I got up to check but everyone was sound asleep," she replied, taking his arm and heading out to the porch. "Where is Sarah now?"

"No idea," he said disheartened. "She took off and I can't find her."

"She's in a lot of pain, dear," Sarah commented as her eyes searched the yard. "Physically and emotionally."

"I know, Grams," he said with a nod. "Doesn't make it any easier though."

"I know," she said, patting his arm. "I know."

It didn't take long before Sarah's eyes found what she was looking for.

"I'm going back to bed now," she said, turning around. "But if I was you I'd check the muddy patch down yonder."

Spinning back to face the yard, Harm's eyes settled on the same muddy patch the twins had been retrieved from earlier only to find his wife sitting in the middle of it. Sprinting across, Harm crouched down beside the only evidence of recent rain.

"Mac?" he whispered scared to touch her, scared not too. "Honey?"

"Think you can fix me up as good as new too?" she asked with voice trembling and tears tumbling.

"Oh, Mac," he said, moving forward and kneeling in the mud. "Come here."

Wrapping his arms around her, Harm drew his distraught wife to him before sitting next to her and pulling her into his lap. Instinctively, Mac curled up into herself, tucking her head under his chin and clasping his shirt so tightly her fingers went numb.

"Ssh, ssh," he soothed, pressing kisses against her temple and rubbing her back. "It's okay...you're okay, we're okay," he whispered as she wept against his chest.

"I'm so sorry," she sobbed, "I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Don't hate me. Don't leave me. I'm sorry."

"Ssh, Mac, honey," he replied, giving way to his own tears. "Never could hate you, never could leave you. I love you so much, gorgeous, so very much."

"I don't want to feel this way, I just can't help it," she continued rambling.

"I know, I know," he soothed, not sure if she was actually hearing him.

"I just want it all to be over," Mac whispered, finally looking up at him. "I don't want another cycle like this...I just want to be happy... I don't want more counselling...I just want the surgery..."

"Okay, okay," he agreed. "First thing Monday, I'm calling Dr Mollison and we're going to get this thing scheduled, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded tearfully.

For a while longer, Harm held his wife close before realising it was getting too cold for either of them to still be sitting in the mud.

"Gorgeous, it's time to go inside," he said, kissing her head. "And I promise I'll fix you up as good as new, okay?"

Physically and emotionally exhausted, Mac gave herself over to her husband and allowed him to go through the routine of bathing and dressing them both, all she wanted now was sleep. Sleep did come for her, tucked safely in Harm's arms, after she'd apologised a dozen times and declared her love for him an equal amount.

Sleep wasn't as easy for her husband.

**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: I'm currently writing ch 48 and hope to finish on 50. Thanks to all those who are still with me, I do appreciate your commitment._**


	36. Chapter 36

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

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It was a little past dawn when Mac awoke feeling considerably squashed in Harm's still tight embrace. True to his word, he hadn't let her go and Mac had to wonder just how much sleep he had gotten when she looked at his tired face. As she was contemplating whether she should get up and let him sleep without distraction, the bedroom door creaked open and Lily popped her head in.

"Mommy, are you awake?" she whispered loudly.

"Yes, baby, I am," she replied, slowly turning over to face her daughter who had padded in.

"Good," she said, pulling up the covers and climbing in.

"Happy birthday, my beautiful baby girl," Mac said wrapping the child up in her arms and kissing her head several times.

"You look happy today, mommy. Are you feeling better?" Lily asked, touching Mac's face gently.

"I'm feeling much better today. I'm sorry I've not been nice to be around lately, Lily" she whispered, kissing the child's head.

"That's okay, mommy, I know it's not you, it's your uterus," she said, resting her head on Mac's shoulder.

"And how did you get to be so clever?" Mac asked, raking her fingers through her daughter's hair.

"Well, I am eight now," she said as if it was a known fact that the wisdom of the ages came with turning eight.

"That is very true," Mac replied, kissing her once more. "Are the others awake or is it just you?"

"Just me," she said with a big smile. "And I just had to come and see you as soon as I was awake..." It had become a custom for Lily to creep into her parents' bed on her birthday and spend the first part of her special day with them.

"I'm very glad you did," she said, pulling her closer. "I just thought now that you're eight, you might be too old to come in with mommy and daddy."

"Never!" Lily replied adamantly, shaking her head. What a silly mommy to think she would ever give up the security and warmth their bed provided her!

Stirring from his not nearly long enough slumber, Harm slowly became aware he was being watched. Opening one eye, he smiled to see Lily watching him from over Mac's shoulder.

"Happy birthday, Lily," he said, reaching out to caress her face. "It's hard to believe my baby girl is eight."

"You still have Rosie," Lily said, clambering over her mother to hug her father.

"Yes, I do," he agreed, smothering her in birthday kisses.

Content at having her parents' undivided attention, even if only for a little while, Lily settled down between them and closed her eyes.

"This is the best birthday," she said, talking more to herself.

"How do you know?" asked Harm. "The day has barely started."

"Because I'm in my favourite place...with my favourite people and Grams is going to make that choc fudge cake for me," she said, smiling to herself, eyes still closed.

"We know you love the farm and it must be great to have your friends here," Harm said, kissing her head.

"Yeah, that too..." she said. "But I meant being here in bed with you guys," she said, giggling as she rolled over and pressed into her mom.

As Lily drifted off in her mother's arms, Harm spent his time raking his fingers through Mac's hair, while gazing at her.

"How are you feeling this morning?" he whispered once Lily started snoring softly.

"Much better," she replied in equally hushed tones. "I mean physically I still feel lousy but I think my little meltdown last night and your TLC helped eased the emotional side of things."

"Glad to hear it," he said, leaning over his daughter to kiss Mac's forehead.

"Thank you, for last night, by the way," she said, reaching to caress his face. "I know you would have had every right to leave me sitting in the mud after the way I spoke to you."

"For better or worse, gorgeous," Harm replied. "There's nothing you could do which would make me leave you like that."

"Thank you," she mouthed as her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

Breakfast was a huge success with nearly four dozen choc chip pancakes being made and devoured, along with countless glasses of milk and juice. Afterwards, when everyone was dressed, Harm took all seven children to explore the property while Grams and Mac worked in the kitchen to prepare the food for Lily's party which was scheduled to start about 3:00 PM after the birthday girl couldn't decide whether she wanted a special lunch or a special dinner.

Grams had been baking up a storm since she had been asked whether Lily's party could be on the farm but there was still a lot for the ladies to do.

"I've got the decorations!" said Mattie bursting through the door unannounced holding up two paper bags.

"Mattie!!!" Mac and Grams exclaimed in unison.

"We weren't expecting you," Mac said, wiping her hands on her apron before hugging her. "Is Colin with you?"

"No," she replied, kissing Mac's cheek before embracing and kissing Grams. "Unfortunately, Col has to get a couple of reports done. It was the trade off for him not having to give four week's notice."

"Did Harm know you were coming?" Mac asked, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"No. Lily asked me to come and I said no because I didn't think I'd be able to get here this weekend when we were moving here next weekend. But Lily pleaded and while I said no, I thought about it late r and just really wanted to be here. So, I borrowed a friend's van, filled it with stuff that wouldn't fit in the U-Haul we've hired for next week and decided to bring it down a week early."

"Lily is going to be so excited," Grams said, hugging Mattie again.

By the time Mattie had finished decorating the dining area of the kitchen, there were pink and purple balloons, streamers and banners hung throughout. The table had been set with a bright pink table cloth and an assortment of party hats and favours. There were bowls of goodies and plates for all the children. On the kitchen dresser were a collection of brightly wrapped presents and birthday cards.

"What time are the festivities beginning?" asked Mattie, stealing a piece of candy from a nearby bowl.

"Quite soon," Mac replied. "Harm said he'd call when they were about twenty minutes away."

"It's a long walk for the twins...our twins," Grams corrected, so they knew she wasn't referencing the Roberts' twins. "Won't they need a nap?"

"They probably will," Mac said, drying her hands. "But it was the choice of having them go with Harm or staying here underfoot and I figured we'd get more done with them out."

"Wise move, Mac," said Mattie. "Now, is it alright if I go and wash up and change?"

"Of course, dear," Sarah said. "Go right ahead."

"And I thought I'd sleep in with the twins upstairs," she said, grabbing her bag. "I figured it may be the only spare spot."

"You're right about that, Mattie," replied Mac. "Space is at a premium. But that bed is still free."

"Maybe when we're all living here we should build a couple of extra rooms to the house, to cater for all the visitors," she said heading up the stairs laughing.

"I never thought I'd see the day when this house was overcrowded," said Sarah. "For way too long it's been such a lonely place."

"Are you sure you're alright about the MacKenzie Rabb invasion about to overrun your house?" Mac asked, stopping to take the elderly woman's hand.

"Our house, dear," she correctly gently. "And yes, I'm more than alright."

When Harm and his entourage finally got back, Lily's first squeal of delight was when she saw the decorated dining room. While she had wanted her party here, she hadn't really thought they'd have all the trimmings. Her second squeal, and by far the loudest, was when Mattie snuck up behind her and grabbed her.

"Oh, Mattie, I'm so glad you came," she said hugging her older sister tightly. "I didn't think you could make it."

"I couldn't but I decided I couldn't miss your eighth birthday and so I changed a lot of plans and now I'm here," Mattie said, kissing her head.

"Oh, I'm so happy," Lily replied grinning.

The party was a huge success, plenty of food interspersed with games such as Pass the Parcel and Pin the Tail on the Donkey. There was music and dancing and more food. While the younger ones laughed and giggled and danced around, Grams sat in the armchair in the corner and watched it through a veil of happy tears. The last time a birthday had been celebrated in this house with any gusto had been Harm's ... when he had turned three.

Mattie, who had been busy snapping photos of the happy occasion, realised Grams was sitting away from the others, just taking it all in.

"Are you alright, Grams?" she asked quietly, sitting on the arm of the chair. "Can I get you something?"

"No, thank you, child," Sarah replied, taking Mattie's hand. "I have absolutely everything I need right here." She gestured to the party scene with her free hand.

For a while, Mattie sat with Grams, holding her hand, as they watched Harm and Mac play hosts to the seven children. When finally it came time for the birthday cake, Mattie helped Grams up so she could go and put on the final touches.

Lily's request for her birthday cake was that it was a chocolate fudge cake. Grams had fulfilled that request but the cake was in the form of a giant cupcake, complete with eight candles and colourful sprinkles on top. Grams lit the candles before Harm carried it to the table and Mattie snapped away.

"Wow!" Lily said, her grin matching the size of the cake. Her sentiments were shared by her friends around the table.

As 'Happy Birthday' was sung, Harm took Mac's hand and kissed it, just as he had done for the child's other seven birthdays. There wasn't a day which had passed since his precious daughter had arrived that he hadn't been thankful for the amazing gift his wife had given him.

There was no doubting this was Lily's favourite birthday ever. After enough food had been eaten to sustain them for the week, a patch of table was cleared for the presents. Lily was delighted by each and every gift and even managed, through her excitement, to thank each giver appropriately.

From the Roberts' family, she received a bundle which included a pair of blue jeans with half a dozen different long sleeved tees; ones Lily had pointed out during a shopping trip with Nicki and Harriet. From Amy she received Hawaiian Barbie and a pair of Barbie pyjamas. Mattie had given her a child friendly digital camera, while her younger brother and sister had given her some books and cds.

"Well, I guess it's my turn," said Grams, opening the dresser to retrieve a small velvet pouch. "I know I have given you some money in your card so you can get something that you want," she continued, sitting down next to Lily. "But this is something I wanted you to have..." Opening the pouch she tipped out a gold chain with a small gold cross on it. "Now, this is very special and very old and you have to promise me you'll look after it, or let your parents look after it for you."

"Grams, it's so pretty," she said, gently fingering the chain as her friends looked on.

"It's the necklace I wore on the day I married your great grandpa," she said as she undid the clasp with shaky hands. "My father had bought it specially."

Placing the chain around Lily's neck, Grams tried to do it up once more but struggled with the clasp. Eventually she looked up at her grandson and he came to her rescue.

"Are you sure, Grams?" he whispered as he closed the clasp.

"Absolutely," she replied, beaming. "I've been waiting a long time to pass this on and today seems like the perfect day."

"Oh, thank you, Grams!" Lily said, hugging her great grandmother. "It's so pretty."

"Just like you, child, just like you," she replied through her tears.

After witnessing the beautiful scene, Mac wasn't sure what to do about hers and Harm's present for their daughter. While she thought it was a great present herself, it didn't have the same personal touch as Grams' present and she didn't want to spoil the moment. Before she could make up her mind, Harm pre-empted her by handing Lily the huge box which had been sitting in the living room.

Pulling off the ribbon and then the lid, Lily peered into the box curiously. There were lots of bits of things but nothing which looked like an actual present.

"Um...what is it?" she asked, turning to her dad.

"Well," he replied, pulling out the items and setting them on the table. "These are paint chips and carpet pieces and material swatches for your bedroom here. You get to go through them all, and the catalogues, and pick out what you want for it."

"Wow! Totally cool!" she said, touching everything once more.

By six the party had wound down and the youngest twins had fallen asleep in their highchairs. Mac had decided to leave them there for a bit before waking them for some evening activities. Grams was sitting in the armchair with a cup of tea as Lily, Nikki and Mattie tested out the new digital camera. Harm, Jimmy and Michael had gone out to do a few of the farm chores and it was then Mac realised she couldn't account for Amy.

Not wanting to create a fuss, Mac slipped out of the living room and went in search of the young girl. She soon found her standing on the back steps watching as Harm and the boys moved around the yard.

"Hey, sweetie," she said standing beside her. "Everything okay?" Amy nodded but when Mac looked down she saw the trembling lip and teary eyes. "Hey, Amy," she soothed, taking her arm and leading her to the nearby sofa. Mac sat down and pulled Amy onto her lap. "It's okay, baby," she whispered as Amy's tears tumbled.

Curling herself into Mac, Amy sobbed and for a while nothing Mac said made any difference. Finally, Mac pulled back a little and wiped the child's face.

"Are you missing your mommy?" she asked and Amy nodded and Mac felt bad for taking the child so far away from home, given the circumstances. "We can phone her if you like."

Amy shook her head; she did miss her mom but as she spent time with Harm and watched him going around with the boys, she was missing her dad more than usual.

"Is there anything I can do, baby?" she asked as she watched Amy watching Harm and realised this was more than a touch of homesickness.

Amy shook her head but snuggled closer to Mac, her eyes never faltering in their tracking of Harm. Mac kissed the child's head and held her tight, wishing she could take the young girl's pain away.

Once the chores had been done, Harm and the boys turned to come back into the house and instantly spied Mac and a child on the sofa. Thinking it was Lily, Harm indicated to the boys to go back inside while he padded over to the pair, quickly realising it was Amy and not Lily.

"Everything okay?" he asked Mac as Amy turned away from him.

"Yeah," Mac replied. "Amy's just feeling a little sad at the moment."

"Anything I can do?" he asked, raking his fingers through the child's hair.

Mac thought about it for a moment; she knew it must have been hard for Amy to watch Lily with her daddy. And while nothing they could do would ever replace Mitch Michaels she did wonder if she'd feel better with a hug from Harm. With a quick tilt of her head, Mac indicated for Harm to sit beside them, which he did.

"Sweetie, would you like a cuddle from Harm," she said, stroking the child's face.

Shyly, Amy looked over at Harm and then back to Mac before nodding briefly. Mac smiled at her as she helped the child move across into Harm's welcoming arms. Surprising them both, Amy closed her eyes and tucked her head under Harm's chin before wrapping her arms around his neck and sighing deeply. They couldn't help but feel she was imagining the strong arms around her were her daddy's.

**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: I'm currently writing ch 48 and hope to finish on 50. Thanks to all those who are still with me, I do appreciate your commitment._**


	37. Chapter 37

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: I realise I am posting these chapters quickly but they are written and I want to get to catch up to the other site I'm posting on. I do appreciate those who have stuck around, it's a decreasing number, but I'm glad you're with me.

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After a hugely successful birthday weekend, Harm awoke on Monday morning ready to face the reality of life in DC and the next event in Mac's challenges. Despite her meltdown on Friday night, Mac felt in enough control herself to contact Dr Mollison and speak to her about the situation. Harm had offered to do it, not wanting anything to distress his wife but Mac was insistent. So, as per their usual routine, Mac dropped Lily off with Harriet before heading to The Pentagon while Harm dropped the twins off at day care before heading to JAG Headquarters.

With a day of meetings and paperwork, Harm waited patiently for Mac to call him, as she had promised she would do. Every time the phone rang his heart sped up at the thought of the state he'd find his wife in, but the call wouldn't come.

After a brief impromptu meeting with Bud in the break room, Harm returned to find he had a missed call. Playing the message he was surprised to find it was from Dr Mollison and he quickly phoned her back.

"Ah, thanks for getting back to me so quickly, Harm. I wanted to discuss a phone call I had from Sarah about thirty minutes ago," she said, shuffling some papers.

"Yes," he replied. "Is she alright?"

"Sarah was adamant she wanted the surgery done as soon as possible and she seemed to be experiencing a whirlwind of emotions," Dr Mollison explained.

Over the next ten minutes Harm put forward his views in regards to Mac's physical and emotional wellbeing and the toll it was taking on every aspect of her life. He had stated that while counselling was a beneficial option, he didn't feel Mac was receptive to it any longer and it may be counterproductive. Faced with Dr Mollison's final question as to whether he was wanting the surgery to take place, Harm had sighed before explaining that he just wanted his wife back and he would support any course of action Mac wanted to take.

Dr Mollison had accepted what he had to say and informed him that she would be calling Mac back to schedule the surgery; she'd just wanted to make sure this wasn't a spur of the moment decision on Mac's behalf.

For the next half an hour, Harm waited by the phone and when it finally rang he knew it was Mac. After sharing her news, Mac added that she knew the doctor had spoken to Harm and that she was grateful for his support. Harm told her he loved her and would support any decision she made.

By the time he arrived home that night with the twins, Mac already had a date for the surgery, Tuesday the following week. She also had an appointment for her pre-op tests, the coming Wednesday. Given her arrangements, Mac was happier than she had been in a long time. Harm could only smile at her relief and newfound calmness; he hoped this was a sign of how things would be in the post operative phase of their lives together.

When Wednesday rolled around, Mac went to work, as normal, but finished early to head to Bethesda for her battery of pre-operative tests and scans. Heading to Harriet's earlier than usual; she was surprised to find a teary little girl curled up on Harriet's sofa.

"What's wrong, baby?" she said making her way over and feeling the child's forehead.

"Don't feel well, mommy," she whimpered, as she climbed into Mac's arms.

"Really?" she questioned, kissing her forehead. "You were okay this morning."

"I know," she said, resting her head on Mac's shoulder. "I felt sick after that."

"I'm so sorry, Harriet, I would never have left her if I knew she was sick," Mac apologised, rubbing her daughter's back. "You should have called."

"It's alright," Harriet reassured her. "I knew what you had on today." She turned her attention to Lily. "Sweetie, are you okay to lie here a bit longer so your mommy and I can have coffee or do you want to go home right now?"

"I'm okay here, Aunty Harriet," she said, lying back down on the sofa.

Moving her chair back from the kitchen table so she could still see Lily in the living room, Mac sat down before taking the coffee mug Harriet was handing her.

"I'm sorry about this," she said, tilting her head towards the living room.

"It's okay," she replied. "She was fine when she arrived this morning but seemed to get quieter as the day went on. I'm not sure if she's actually unwell or whether she's worried about you. I do know though, she's asked about you a dozen times today."

Mac pouted, she hated that her daughter was so in tune with her pain.

"I think an afternoon with mommy and some extra TLC will do her good then," Mac said, looking towards her daughter.

"I think it will too," Harriet agreed.

Home by three, Mac left the afternoon plans up to Lily. All Lily wanted to do was cuddle up to Mac and watch a DVD, which is what they did...or tried to do. Both were asleep by the end of the movie and Mac didn't wake until Harm put his key in the front door.

"Hey, gorgeous," he said, as he ushered the twins into the room. "Everything alright?"

"Lily's not feeling too well today," Mac said as she slid out from around her daughter. "Hello, angels," she said, crouching down and hugging the twins.

"What sort of not well?" Harm asked as he caressed his sleeping daughter's face.

"Not sure," she replied. "No fever, but no appetite, and quite clingy."

"And how are you?" he asked, kissing her cheek.

"I'm okay," she said. "Tests went alright so now we just wait for next week."

The following morning, Lily was still not herself so Mac decided that, as she had nothing pressing at the office, she would take the day off and keep the child at home with her. For the first few hours, Lily slept while Mac did the housework. About eleven, Mac woke her daughter as she hadn't had anything to eat or drink. Lily had some juice and a toasted cheese sandwich before curling up on the sofa. Mac had decided that if the child wasn't any better by later that evening she would take her to the local clinic which was opened until midnight.

It was the early afternoon when Mac got a call from Bethesda to say some of the tests needed to be repeated and could she come in right away. Not wanting to wake Lily or distress her any further, Mac called Harriet and had AJ come over and watch Lily for the hour or so it would take.

Once at Bethesda, Mac demanded the answer to the simple question of 'what went wrong?'

With the technician not prepared to give her an answer and with Dr Mollison unavailable, Mac had more blood drawn and another urine test completed.

"If you'd like to wait, Dr Mollison will be available in about an hour," the OBGYN receptionist had told her.

"Any other time I would," Mac had replied. "But my daughter is sick at home and I have to get back. Please have the doctor to call me."

Upon returning home, Mac was surprised to find Lily was still asleep and so AJ left with the child none the wiser that he'd been there. Putting laundry away in her bedroom, Mac's cell phone rang and she answered it quickly.

It was Dr Mollison.

The call lasted four minutes and thirteen seconds and turned Mac's life upside down.

Lily woke up and stretched before looking around for her mother, she couldn't see her. Frightened at the thought of being alone, Lily headed to the kitchen before looking out to the yard but still not finding her mother. Thinking she may be in the bathroom or the bedroom, Lily headed towards the room but froze at the door when she heard Mac crying.

Slowly opening the door, Lily peeked in and found Mac curled up on the floor sobbing.

"Mommy?" she called tearfully but Mac didn't respond. "Mommy?" she called a bit louder but the response was the same.

Running back to the living room, Lily picked up the receiver and hit one on the speed dial for Harm's cell. It went to voice mail. Hanging up, Lily tried again, pressing three, the one for Harm's office. Once again it went to voice mail. Looking at the list of speed dial numbers, Lily hit number seven which only indicated 'JAG'.

"Judge Advocate General's office, Petty Officer Jennifer Coates speaking?" came a familiar voice.

"Jenny? Lily asked quietly. "Jenny, is that you?"

Jennifer put the call on speaker phone, there was only one person who called her Jenny and that was Lily Rabb.

"Lily, honey, is that you?" she asked quickly.

"Yes, Jenny," she said tearfully. "I need my daddy."

"What's wrong, honey?" Jennifer asked, knowing Harm was in court at the moment.

"Jenny, it's mommy...we need daddy," she sobbed.

Not getting a response to his intercom, General Cresswell had opened his door to catch Lily's plea.

"What's up?" he whispered and Jennifer shrugged.

"Lily, what's wrong with your mommy?" Jennifer asked, looking at the General.

"I think it's her uterus. She's lying on the floor and crying and crying and I went in and she didn't even hear me and I need my daddy to come home. He knows how to fix things, Jenny. Please..." she begged and Jennifer's eyes filled with tears at the pain of the little girl.

"Lily, it's General Cresswell, honey," the General replied. "Does your mommy need an ambulance?"

"No, sir," she replied. "I don't think so...she just needs my daddy."

"Your daddy's in court," Jennifer started to explain but the General shook his head.

"Your daddy will be home soon, honey," he said soothingly. "I'm going to find him now. You just stay on the line with Jenny."

For a couple of moments, General Cresswell stood in the back of the courtroom until there was an appropriate pause in proceedings. When the defence counsel asked for a ten minute recess, Cresswell knew it was the perfect opportunity to get Harm away for the afternoon. Approaching the bench, with permission, Cresswell explained the situation to the judge in hushed tones and the minute they both looked over at him, Harm knew there was something seriously wrong.

With the judge seeing fit to call a conclusion to proceedings for the day, and after the formalities that brought with it had been completed, General Cresswell made his way over to Harm and Harm drew a deep breath.

"What's wrong, sir?" Harm asked not able to wait any longer.

"We've just had a phone call from Lily who is quite upset," he said, packing Harm's briefcase as he spoke. "By the sounds of it, Mac is in some distress and they need you to come home."

"Distressed in what way?" he asked as the General lead him from the courtroom.

"Lily says she thinks it's her uterus but that she doesn't need an ambulance, just you," he continued to explain as they made their way back to the bullpen. "Now, Coates is still on the line with Lily so I think you should just head straight home and let Lily continue with her." His reasoning for this was so Harm didn't delay in his return home nor did Lily become more distressed at the sound of her father's voice.

Heading for home as fast as he could safely manage, Harm had the front door opened before Lily realised her daddy was home. Hanging up without saying goodbye, she dropped the receiver back on its cradle and flew into her daddy's arms, breaking her heart crying.

"It's okay, it's okay, baby," he soothed, scooping her up and smothering her in kisses. "Daddy's home now, it's okay."

"Daddy," she whispered through her tears. "Mommy's so sad."

"What happened, Lil?" he asked, using his hand to dry her tears.

"I don't know...I was asleep ...and when I... woke up ...she's lying on her floor ...crying.... and I went in ...and called her name ...but ...she won't answer ...me," she said, her tears still tumbling.

"Okay, baby, okay," he soothed, kissing her forehead once more. "Stop crying, baby, it's alright now."

"But daddy she's so upset," she said desperately. She didn't know why he couldn't understand just how bad it was for her mother.

"I know," he soothed. "But I can't go and see if mommy's okay until I know you are."

"I'm okay, daddy," she said quickly, climbing down from his safe arms. "Go see mommy."

With Lily on the sofa once more, clutching a cushion to her chest, Harm drew a deep breath before heading to his bedroom the fear gnawing at him since Cresswell had appeared in the courtroom growing exponentially as he neared his destination.

Opening the door he found Mac curled up on the floor, just as Lily had. While the loud painful sobbing had subsided, it started the moment she laid eyes upon her husband. Quickly dropping onto his knees on the floor beside her, Harm wasn't sure whether his wife's current condition was caused by something physical or something emotional. Thus, he wasn't sure whether he could pick her up or not. Mac took that decision from him when she stretched out one arm towards him.

With ease, Harm sat down while simultaneously pulling her into his lap. While she tried to control her crying and breathing, Harm rubbed her back and stroked her hair, whispering his love as he did so. Eventually, Mac was in a state where she could actually think and speak.

"You're home early," she said, wrapping her arms around him.

"Lily called," he replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "She was quite distressed about you being so upset."

"Oh no," she replied, her tears bubbling over once more. "I thought she was still asleep."

"It's okay," he said, caressing her face. "What happened?"

"The hospital called this morning to say I needed go back in today to have some of the tests from yesterday repeated," she said, before taking a deep breath.

"Why?" he questioned, his thumb rubbing back and forth across the swell of her cheek.

"Technician wouldn't tell me why and Mollison wasn't available and as I'd left Lily asleep here with AJ, I couldn't wait around," she explained quietly.

"Okay," Harm said nodding. So far, nothing she said would account for the level distress she'd obviously been experiencing.

"So, I came home and Lily was still asleep and AJ went home," she reported, trying to get her thoughts into order.

"Okay," Harm repeated, not sure what else he should say.

"Then Dr Mollison called and well, she said I couldn't have the surgery and I just lost it," she said, her tears starting once more. "Harm, I've spent the last months convincing myself that this surgery is the way to go...that I don't want to spend my life as an emotional and physical wreck."

"I know, I know," he soothed; he'd been focused on the surgery too. It seemed the best, the only, way to deal with this deteriorating situation. Even he would admit his heart skipped a beat when Mac had said the doctor had said no.

After a few moments, Harm realised he'd missed asking the most pressing question.

"Did she say why she'd changed her mind?" he asked, pulling her closer.

"Said some of yesterday's tests suggested there was something else happening and she had ordered the retests just to be sure," she reported in a breathless manner; her lungs not seeming to have enough air for this conversation.

"And what did today's tests prove?" he asked, using his thumb and forefinger to raise his wife's face to his.

"Pregnant," she mouthed and Harm's eyes opened wide.

"You're pregnant?" he repeated and she nodded.

In that moment, Harm didn't know whether to laugh or cry but looking at the expression of pure distress on Mac's face he quickly realised laughter was not the way to go.

"And how do you feel about that?" he questioned, wanting this to be about her emotions and not his.

"I'm absolutely terrified," she said, a sob catching in her throat.

"Why?" he asked, cradling her head to him as he saw she was about to lose it once more.

"Because the tests I've had over recent months show my uterus isn't in the best condition so I don't know if I can even carry a baby to term and I don't want to terminate the pregnancy but I don't want to go ahead with it and lose him because I don't think I could survive that and I don't want to ...I don't know what I don't want... I just wanted a hysterectomy, I was counting on it...I was sure that was what was wrong with me in the last weeks...I don't feel pregnant..." she rambled and Harm let her. He knew she'd have a million and one thoughts racing through her addled mind.

"You said 'him'," Harm observed, picking the one positive aspect of her rambling."You think this one's a boy?"

"Aha," she replied, using his shirt to dry her face.

"What did Dr Mollison say about the pregnancy?" he asked, keeping her close and fighting every swirling emotion within him.

"That it would be considered a high risk pregnancy given my age, history and current condition but that she believed I could do this if I wanted to," she said, exhaustion creeping into her voice.

"And do you want to do it?" he asked, caressing her face.

"I don't believe in abortion," she said quietly.

"I know," he said, stroking her face. "But that's not what I asked."

"When I started along this path I had spent many nights convincing myself that it was alright that there would be no more children...not that I wanted any more but, you know, it's something that was playing on my mind," she said.

"I know," he said, knowing there was a huge difference between not wanting more children and not being able to have more.

"I mean we have three amazing kids and I don't want to do anything to jeopardise my life with them," she said, knowing a high risk pregnancy was high risk for both her and the baby.

"I don't want you to do anything to jeopardise that either," he concurred, kissing her temple. He didn't want to even imagine what a life for him and the children would be like if Mac didn't survive the pregnancy.

"But this little one is in there, despite all the odds and I feel I owe him a chance..." she said, her hand running over her abdomen. "After all, he has to be a fighter to make a home in such a crappy place."

It was then Harm knew that they would be proceeding with this pregnancy. The term 'little one' showed she had already accepted the child and termination wouldn't be an option. While he would warmly welcome any child that came their way, he couldn't help but feel pained at the challenges this pregnancy would present them and he could only hope and pray that at the end he would have both his wife and his child with him.

**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: I'm currently writing ch 48 and hope to finish on 50. _**


	38. Chapter 38

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: I realise I am posting these chapters quickly but they are written and I want to get to catch up to the other site I'm posting on. I do appreciate those who have stuck around, it's a decreasing number, but I'm glad you're with me.

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After silence had descended and Harm had held her for what felt like an eternity short of forever, Mac pulled away and caressed her husband's face before gently kissing him.

"You okay?" she asked, when she saw his deep soulful gaze directed at her.

"Yeah," he said as he breathed out a sigh. The truthful answer was 'hell no, I've got no fricken idea how I am' but that response was tucked deep inside.

Before the conversation could continue there was a soft knock on the door and they both looked to it.

"Mommy, daddy," Lily called mournfully, not prepared to open the door in case her mommy wasn't well.

Quickly, Harm and Mac clambered off the floor, Mac settling on the side of the bed as Harm opened the door.

"Is mommy okay?" she whispered loudly, the telltale sign of her tears still on her face.

"Yes, pumpkin," Harm said, scooping her up. "Mommy's doing much better, come and see..."

"No, no, it's alright," she said, stiffening in his arms. "Just wanted to make sure...."

"I'm okay, baby," Mac said, padding over to them and rubbing her back. "I'm so sorry I frightened you."

"What was wrong?" Lily asked, still clinging to her father, a little wary of her mother.

"I just got some news and was a little upset," Mac said, caressing her daughter's face. "I thought you were asleep. I really didn't mean to scare you."

"Okay," Lily replied, leaning her head on Harm's shoulder.

"You were a very clever girl to call daddy," Mac said. "Thank you so much for doing that."

Lily nodded.

Sensing the apprehension on his daughter's behalf, Harm decided to change the course of the conversation with something they all could enjoy.

"Did either of my best girls have lunch today?" Harm asked checking the clock and realising it was nearly 3:30.

Both Mac and Lily shook their heads.

"Well, as it's getting late in the day, how about we have a special afternoon tea?" he said, wrapping an arm around Mac's shoulder as he guided her towards the kitchen.

Lily wasn't overly sure about food but Mac played along with her husband. "Oh, that sounds great, daddy," Mac replied. "How does a nice hot chocolate and some banana muffins sound, baby?"

Lily shrugged.

"Or, what about a nice cold glass of lemonade and some of daddy's oatmeal cookies?" Harm offered but Lily shook her head.

"I know," Mac said, looking over at her husband. "How about we have a nice peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some milk?"

For the briefest of moments, Lily nodded and Mac sighed in relief.

Setting Lily onto a chair, Harm pulled out the one beside her for his wife. "Now, my ladies, if you just relax," he began using a very formal maitre'd voice. "I shall prepare afternoon tea to your liking."

With a flourish he spun around and hummed loudly as he made a show of collecting all necessary items. His pretence of focusing on the snack he was preparing still allowed him to watch mother and daughter in his peripheral vision. He saw Mac hold out her hand to her child wordlessly. He saw the child look between the hand and her mother's face. Holding his breath he waited for the next move and slowly breathed once again when Lily quietly stood and moved to her mother, effortlessly straddling Mac's lap and leaning onto her as Mac embraced her warmly.

"One smooth PBJ and one extra crunchy PBJ," he said, placing the two plates in front of Mac. "And...." he continued, as if waiting for a drum roll. "Two glasses of ice cold milk."

"Thank you, daddy," Mac said, smiling up at him. Harm smiled and gave her a wink.

"Thanks, daddy," Lily said quietly but made no move to eat, preferring to hold onto her mommy for a little bit longer.

Mac was halfway through her sandwich before Lily showed any interest in hers. Finally the child looked around and saw what was waiting for her.

"Lil, do you want to sit on daddy's knee while you eat?" Harm asked but Lily shook her head. "Well, how about you turn the other way and stay with mommy?"

Lily nodded and smiled so Harm stood and helped her to change directions. Soon she was eating and drinking along with her mother. Harm sighed, wondering just how they were going to get through the emotional rollercoaster ride he knew this pregnancy would provide.

After their snack, Harm thought it was in everyone's best interest for Mac and Lily to rest while he went and picked up the twins from day care. Lily agreed but opted for her own bed, something she never did when there was the opportunity to sleep with mommy in mommy and daddy's bed. Conceding that the child had had a big fright that afternoon, Mac went and tucked her in before heading to her own bed.

"Mom," Lily called as she reached the door.

"Yes, pumpkin," Mac replied, turning back.

"Are you going to be okay in your bedroom or do you need to stay with me?" she asked, propping herself up in her bed. While she did want to take a nap with her mommy, she was a little scared of the big bedroom where she'd found her mother earlier.

"I am going to be okay, baby girl," Mac said, padding back across and kissing Lily's forehead. "But, if it's okay with you, I wouldn't mind staying here."

"It's okay with me, mom," she said lifting up the blanket and shuffling back so Mac could fit in with her.

Cuddled up together, both found slumber came quickly.

It was in the same position Harm found them an hour later when he arrived home with the twins. Surprised to find the house quiet but the master bedroom empty, Harm couldn't help but laugh when he saw them in the pink princess bed. His initial plan was to allow them to sleep on, however, Rose and Harry had other ideas and ran in past him.

Before he could grab them both, Harry had clambered up onto the bed, waking Mac in the process. Even in her drowsy state, she demonstrated her quick marine reflexes by grabbing the boy before he dropped onto her stomach.

"Whoa, little boy," she said, holding him by the arm suspended in motion. "No dive bombing mommy."

Harry laughed; he wasn't interested in diving bombing just in a great big hug from his mommy. Rose fidgeted and squirmed so much that Harm put her on the bed after Mac had sat up. He couldn't help but smile as she scampered over her waking sister to be closer to her mother. Hearing the phone, he left them all on the bed and went to answer it.

Upon his return, Harm leant on the door jamb and watched as the children were all settled on the bed while Mac was reading them Harry's favourite book, 'The Very Hungry Caterpillar'. She was up to the 'On Friday' page before she realised Harm was watching them. Looking up at her husband, she saw him smile and so continued through until the end. When it was finished, Mac resisted Harry's pleas for a re-read and climbed out of bed.

"Who was on the phone?" she asked, as Rose and Harry claimed one leg each.

"Cresswell," he said, picking up his son, so Mac would have half a chance of walking without tripping over. "Wanted to see how things were with you and Lily."

"That was very kind of him," Mac said, picking up Rose so she could follow Harm from the room. "Are you coming, Lily?" she asked when she realised the child was still in bed.

"Yeah, mom," she said with a yawn. "In a minute."

"What did you tell Cresswell?" she asked as made their way into the kitchen.

"Nothing specific," he said, filling cups of water for the twins. "But I asked for a meeting with him first thing in the morning, before I have to be in court."

"Drink, drink!" Rose stated, pulling on his trousers when she realised he had stopped his activities.

"Sorry, honey," he said, handing her the pink tippy cup. "Here you go, Harry," he added, handing the child his marine green one.

After the twins had finished with their drinks, Harm led them into the yard and Mac followed. While the twins settled in the sandpit, Harm and Mac sat on the steps and watched them. Linking her fingers through his, Mac brought her other hand over to cover their joined ones.

"We're going to have to tell him, aren't we?" she asked, looking to her children.

"I think we owe him the truth, even if we aren't telling anyone else," Harm said with a nod.

"You don't want to tell people?" she asked. True she was only a little over seven weeks pregnant and they hadn't shared the news of the other pregnancies at this early stage either, but Mac wanted to make sure that was the only reason.

"Well," he began slowly. "What I think is that we have to get used to the idea ourselves first." He leant in and kissed her head. "Then I think we should make an appointment to see Dr Mollison and get all the information we need, and an ultrasound...I think we should have an ultrasound just for peace of mind ..."

"Yeah, I think that's the way to go too," she said, lifting their hands and wrapping his arm around her as she cuddled against him. "Are you okay with all this?" she asked, knowing it had all been about her earlier.

"Right now it's still a bit of a shock," he admitted, kissing her head once more. "And so long as you are alright, I'm more than okay about having another little one."

"What about our ages?" she questioned, mindful of previous discussions on the topic.

"Well, I guess instead of being 63 when my youngest go to college, I'll be 66," he said, taking a huge breath. "And if I'm okay with that then I'll be okay with this one..."he said, using his free hand to caress her still flat stomach.

"We're going to be okay, aren't we?" she asked, resting her head on his shoulder.

"We're going to be more than okay, gorgeous," he reassured her, hoping desperately he was right.

He could live without another child, he could live without moving to the farm, he could live without retiring from the Navy; what he couldn't live with, now or ever, was being without Mac. He had tried that, for far too long, and he didn't like it. He didn't like who he was without her but more than that he loved who he was with her and because of her. He couldn't lose that, not now, not ever, because if he did he would lose himself.

Their conversation ended when the door behind them opened and Lily padded out.

"How are you feeling now, baby?" Mac asked, wrapping an arm around the child's legs.

"My tummy's still a bit sore," she said as she clambered onto Mac's knee.

"That's no good," she said, kissing Lily's forehead. "Maybe we should take a trip to the doctor," she added looking at Harm. Lily had now been unwell for two days and didn't seem to be improving any.

"No, mommy," she said, nestling in closer. "I don't want the doctor. I'll feel better tomorrow, I promise."

Mac looked at Harm and Harm rubbed Lily's leg. "It doesn't work that way, Lil," he said gently. "You can't promise to feel better."

"But I will, daddy," she pleaded, tears filling her eyes. "I will be better tomorrow."

"Okay, okay," he conceded. "But if you feel any worse we're going, no arguments."

Lily nodded.

While Harm would never play with his children's health, he wasn't completely sure that Lily's sickness was actually something physical. Knowing she knew her mother was at the hospital having tests the day before may have had her feeling a little sad and anxious, and then of course, finding her mother so distressed today would have exacerbated the situation. Given the emotional toll of the events, he was prepared to give her some leeway...but only a small one.

Reaching out and taking his daughter in his arms, Harm positioned her so she was cradled in one arm and her legs were still on her mother's lap.

"Now, if you are going to be better tomorrow, you have eat dinner tonight. So what would you like?" he asked as he caressed her face.

"Don't know," she replied with a shrug of her shoulders before looking at her mom. "What does mommy want?" she asked.

"Um..." Mac started, thinking about it. "I think I'd like some real meat," she began, knowing she needed as much iron as she could get. "And some mashed potato and carrots and peas. How does that sound to you?" she asked, rubbing Lily's leg.

"It sounds okay," Lily agreed with a nod.

"Would you like to help me cook dinner, pumpkin?" Harm asked and Lily nodded slowly. "Okay, let's go and cook for mommy."

"Can't mommy come too?" she asked, looking back at Mac.

"Mommy has to stay and watch the twins," Harm answered quickly, not wanting Mac to do anything she didn't have to.

"Okay," Lily said, now a little reluctant to help out Harm.

"Mommy's okay, you know, Lily," Harm whispered, kissing the child's head. Lily nodded and trailed Harm into the kitchen.

"Is mommy going to work tomorrow?" she asked quietly, silently hoping the answer was no so she could spend another day with her.

"Yes, she is," Harm lied. Given the news of the day, he was sure Mac would stay at home another day, and if she didn't want to do so voluntarily, he would try every tactic to convince her. However, another day at home would cause Lily to think something was truly amiss and they didn't need that.

"So, she's really okay?" she questioned, tying on her apron.

"She's really okay," Harm agreed.

"Okay then," Lily said before stopping a moment. "Dad...can we have sundaes for dessert? Please?" she asked and Harm grinned.

Daddy's intuition 1 – Physical illness 0.

**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: I've just finished Ch50 and that will conclude 'Change'. Most likely, there will be future instalments relating to life on the farm for this particular family._**


	39. Chapter 39

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

AN: I realise I am posting these chapters quickly but they are written and I want to get to catch up to the other site I'm posting on. I do appreciate those who have stuck around, it's a decreasing number, but I'm glad you're with me.

**_AN: Easter Blessings to all those who celebrate xox_**

**----------------change--------------------**

Early the following morning, Harm packed the twins into the car while Mac, still in her robe, stood on the steps with Lily.

"But I thought you were going to work," Lily protested, not wanting to get into her father's car.

"I am, Lily," Mac lied. "I am going to have a shower and get dressed as soon as you're gone. My first meeting's not until 0830, so I have plenty of time."

"Well, if you have plenty of time, how come you can't take me to Aunty Harriet's like you usually do?" she argued, something wasn't added up here.

"Because..." she began but couldn't come up with an excuse quick enough.

"Because," Harm said, coming from behind. "Aunty Harriet needed you early as she has to drop Jimmy and Michael off at their baseball camp and wouldn't be at home for you."

"Oh, okay," she said with a nod, remembering the plans she'd heard Aunty Harriet and her mom discuss on Wednesday."

After hugs and declarations of love were exchanged between mother and daughter, Lily padded to the car. Harm ensured she was buckled in properly before he shut the door and came back to his wife.

"Now, you go back to bed and rest today," he said quietly as he took both her hands in his.

"Harm, there's nothing wrong with me," Mac protested quietly.

"You are pregnant," he whispered, squeezing her hands.

"Yes, but not an invalid," she reminded him.

They had had this conversation long into the night and in the end Mac had agreed to stay home Friday, more to alleviate Harm's growing distress than anything else. While she didn't feel any better or worse than she had done in the last few weeks, she had to concede that being pulled out of court by your CO because your little girl was on the phone crying because your wife was a basket case on the floor, earned him the right to win this particular conversation.

"I know," he agreed. "So don't go back to bed, just rest – watch some DVDs or surf the net or something." He leant in to kiss her.

"Yes, sir," she said before kissing him back.

After waving Mac goodbye, Harm pulled the car out into traffic and did the morning drop offs before presenting himself at General Cresswell's door. With Jennifer not yet on duty, Harm rapped on the door and waited for permission to enter, which was quickly given.

"At ease, at ease," General Cresswell said as he rounded the desk and gestured for Harm to sit down, before sitting next to him.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me this morning, sir," Harm said, playing with his cuff.

"You're welcome," he replied. "Now, what's going on?" he asked, cutting to the chase.

"Before I explain the situation, can I ask that this stay between you and I at the moment?" Harm asked, even though he knew his boss was a model of discretion.

"Certainly," Cresswell said with a nod.

"Well, sir, I didn't tell you the whole truth when you called last night. By the time I spoke to you things had improved but the situation wasn't good and while it isn't bad it will remain and ongoing concern," he said nervously, glancing up at the General.

"Harm," he said, concerned for his senior officer who was appearing more and more distressed. "Husband to husband, what's going on?" he asked quietly. He, himself, had been rather anxious at times about his own wife; he could read the signs.

"Well, we ah... well, Mac got a phone call yesterday and it seems she's pregnant," he said, looking at his boss.

"Pregnant?" he echoed and Harm nodded. "But I thought Mac's condition had deteriorated and she was due to have a hysterectomy in the coming weeks. Hence her arrangements for medical leave prior to terminal leave and retirement."

"Yeah, well, that was the plan," he said before sighing deeply. "This has thrown a spanner in the works to say the least."

"A bloody big spanner," Cresswell offered and Harm nodded. "Is Mac able to carry this baby?" he asked, knowing it was a big factor in Harm's demeanour.

"The doctor seems to think that she should be okay. That while it's a high risk pregnancy, for her and the baby, that she can do it," he said, clasping his hands tightly. "We're going to make an appointment with her OBGYN just to get everything clear."

"Sounds like the right action," he said, nodding. "How are you feeling about this?"

"Honestly?" he questioned looking up to see his boss nod. "I'm scared to death," he admitted to the man beside him, something he'd probably never admit again.

"That's understandable, given the circumstances," Cresswell said, patting his shoulder as he watched Harm's eyes fill with tears.

"So, um..." he began trying to keep his emotions under control. "I'm going to need to stay as close to home as possible and will probably need to take time off if things don't go well and ...ah..."

"You take what you need, when you need," Cresswell interjected. "And as for assignments," he continued. "You're on the track to retirement, should be easy not to have anything too time consuming or requiring travel land on your desk."

"Thanks, I appreciate that," Harm said, drawing a deep breath.

With concluding arguments in court that morning, Harm wasn't able to call Mac. When they broke for lunch, he was relieved to find nine text messages, each at a 30 minute interval. Each said the same thing, with only the time different. '0900 and all is well...love you."

Grabbing a tuna salad sandwich and apple juice for lunch, Harm sat at his desk and grabbed his phone. Taking the chance that Mac was sleeping and he'd wake her, Harm called anyway, just needing to hear her voice. Five rings and Mac answered with a yawn.

"I woke you, didn't I?" Harm asked cringing.

"Yeah, but I've been sleeping on and off all morning, so it's alright. How's the case?" she asked with another yawn.

Just waiting for the judgement," he replied. "But I'm pretty confident. How are you?"

"Fine," she replied. "I've watched a marathon of those archaeology documentaries you got me last Christmas and am about to fix myself lunch. I'm feeling quite hungry."

"Glad you're taking care of yourself," he said, his smile evident in his voice.

"So, what time am I going to see you, sailor?" she asked, gazing at his photo.

"I think I can probably square things away here, collect the kids and be home by 1800," he replied, looking at the family photo on the side of his desk.

"Kids minus Lily," Mac corrected. "Harriet phoned and it seems Miss Lily is quite fine and wants to spend the night at their place. With AJ doing his own thing and the boys away for baseball, it's going to be a girly night."

"I think that will do Lily the world of good," Harm replied.

"Harriet was concerned about Lily's recount of yesterday's situation and so I told her...I'm sorry. I know we weren't going to and I tried to get around it but you know Harriet when it comes to all things babies," she said.

"Yeah, I do," he said with a laugh.

"Given the news, she also offered to take the twins but I said no. I figured Lily would stress if she thought there was a reason the twins couldn't be here," she explained.

"That child's too clever for her own good," Harm said with a shake of his head.

It was a little after six when Harm arrived home, happy with his win in court and that it was the weekend. As a bonus, he'd told Mac in an earlier call not to worry about dinner, that they'd figure it out when he got home. But to surprise her, he had picked up her favourite selection from Beltway burgers, some of the triple choc ice cream he knew she loved and a couple of extra boxes of Kleenex. Instinctively he knew there were going to be lots of tears during this pregnancy and he wasn't altogether sure they'd be Mac's.

Taking a couple of moments on the front step to organise the twins, so they were bearing their mother's favourite foods, Harm took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. It was as natural as his breathing to wonder about Mac and her wellbeing when she wasn't in his presence, he'd been doing that for nearly two decades, but this was different. He'd done enough research into her condition to know just how high this high risk pregnancy would be and while he was trying to project a calm, confident exterior, inside he was a mess.

Inserting the key, Harm unlocked the door and ushered his children in, gesturing for them to be quiet, before pointing to their mother who was asleep on the sofa.

"Mommy, wake up!" Rose said, tugging at her arm before thrusting the ice cream at her. "Chipple Choc," she said. Mac shuddered as the icy container pressed onto her bare arm.

"Triple Choc, for me?" she said, taking the offering. "Thank you so much, princess." Mac kissed and hugged her daughter.

"Me! Me!" demanded Harry pushing against his sister to hand over his gift for his mother.

"Mmmm yum, Beltway Burgers," Mac said, grabbing the bag before it was squashed against her.

"For you," he added as an afterthought.

"Thank you very much, Harry," she said, leaning over to kiss him too.

"How about we let mommy get up," Harm suggested, "So we can have dinner?"

'Yay!" the twins shouted in chorus.

Knowing there were burgers and fries on the menu, the twins scurried to the kitchen, waiting anxiously for someone to pop them into their chairs. When happily in their chairs, Harm opened the bags while Mac got out their Dora and Diego plates and placed them on their tables.

"Burger!" called Rose thrusting out her plate.

"Fries!" cried Harry copying the gesture.

Soon, their meals were dished up for them and they happily munched away.

"Now, for you," Harm said, opening a second bag and removing her burger and the curly fries she loved.

"You're perfect, you know that?" she questioned, pressing up on tippy toes to kiss his cheek.

"I wouldn't go that far," he said with a laugh.

"I would," she insisted. "I was sitting here this afternoon thinking about Beltway Burgers."

Harm laughed; if only his wife was always that easy to read.

When Mac was happily eating, Harm went and stripped out of his uniform and into some sweats, before returning to the kitchen to prepare his evening meal.

"Want some help?" Mac asked as she put down her burger and went to stand up.

"No, no," Harm replied, gesturing for her to sit back down. "There are leftover vegies from last night and I'll just sear some tuna."

While Harm bathed the twins, Mac cleaned up the kitchen before meeting Harm in the twins' room to help dress them. When she had Rose in her pyjamas and Harm had Harry ready, they moved back to the living room. Pleased with having their parents' undivided attention, the twins ran through a gamut activities until Harm realised it was already eight, and way past their bedtime.

With a hug and kiss from mommy, Harm took the quickly tiring twins to their room and tucked them in before reading Rose's choice of 'The Rainbow Fish'. When the story was done and eyelids were heavy, Harm kissed both children and wished them goodnight before returning to his wife.

"Now," he said, sitting down into the place Mac had left for him. "I don't think I got any sort of hello."

"Sorry," Mac replied, before pulling herself across his lap, looping her arms around his neck and kissing him soundly. "Hello."

"That's better," he replied once she'd pulled back. "How are you feeling?" he asked brushing back strands of her hair.

"I've had my moments today, I must admit," she said, resting her head on his shoulder and playing which his collar. "One minute I am thinking about names and nursery items and all the positives and the next I'm a mess wondering how the hell we let this happen."

"Sorry," he whispered guiltily.

"Oh no, honey," she said caressing his face. "It's not your fault...well, any more than it's mine."

"I guess with all the issues we had conceiving the last two pregnancies and then all the issues with endometriosis in general, contraception hasn't been a priority," he said, kissing her head.

"Yeah, I know," she said, returning the kiss, trying to convince him she wasn't blaming him in the least.

"Did you get an appointment with Dr Mollison?" he asked, tenderly rubbing her stomach.

"Yeah, first thing Tuesday," she said, with a sigh. "That alright with you?"

"Yep," he replied. "Case is over and Cresswell said I could take whatever time I need, so I'm all set."

With a deep sigh, Mac settled further into Harm's arms and closed her eyes.

"We're going to be okay, you know?" she said, her eyes still shut.

"I know," he replied, his gaze never once leaving her face.

"So you're going to have to relax and not fret over me every moment I'm out of your sight," she continued softly.

"I know," he repeated, not denying her statement at all.

Opening her eyes, Mac reached up and ran her fingers through his hair. "Just breathe, Harm," she whispered. "Everything will be okay, sweetheart, you just have to breathe."

On his wife's instruction, Harm drew in some deep breaths, not having realised himself that he'd been holding his breath as he watched her.

"I love you so very much, Sarah MacKenzie Rabb," he said as he leant down to kiss her.

"And I love you too," she replied before his lips claimed hers.

**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: I've just finished Ch50 and that will conclude 'Change'. Most likely, there will be future instalments relating to life on the farm for this particular family._**


	40. Chapter 40

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**_AN: Easter Blessings to all those who celebrate xox_**

**----------------change--------------------**

Any Saturday morning sleep in was spoilt by Rose waking early and deciding if she was awake so would everyone else be. After a few loud calls to her mommy, then her daddy when she had no response, Harry decided to join in the dawn fun. Muttering to himself about kids and lack of sleep, Harm stumbled out of bed and towards the room still called the nursery.

"Stupid sonofab..." he muttered, catching himself before he said too much before hobbling and bending down to rub his little toe he'd caught on the doorjamb.

"Are you okay?" Mac asked, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied, continuing his journey towards the cacophony of noise.

Opening the door, any bad mood Harm may have been experiencing evaporated at the sight of both children standing up in their respective cribs with arms up waiting for a hug.

"Daddy!" they said in unison. Picking up Harry who was closest, Harm then moved and scooped up Rose before kissing them both.

"I think we should have a serious conversation about the need for you two to sleep a little longer on weekends," he said, kissing their heads once more. "Mommy and daddy are going to need a lot more sleep in coming months."

"Mommy!" said Harry picking up on the one word he'd understood, while wriggling in Harm's arms.

"Yeah, we'll go see mommy...and hopefully we'll all sleep a little longer," he said, making his way back to his own bedroom.

"Mommy!" they squealed when they saw Mac propped up waiting for them.

"I see we have two new roommates," Mac said, pulling back the covers and drawing up her knees, lest the twins get too boisterous and try to dive on her.

"Yep, and they seem very awake, so let's hope they settle down for another couple of hours," Harm said, placing them on his side of the bed and allowing them to scamper towards Mac. "Hey, not so rough," he said grabbing Harry's leg as he tried to push by his sister to get to his mother first.

Despite Harm's efforts over the next thirty minutes to soothe his children to sleep once more, the only one that seemed in need of sleep was himself. While he wouldn't admit it to his wife, he had only slept for the last two hours before the twins woke him. He had spent the rest of the time just watching Mac sleep and thinking.

Realising it was a futile task; Harm climbed out of bed and pulled on his sweats and trainers.

"Who wants to come for a jog with daddy?" he asked, wanting to give Mac as much rest as he could.

"Me!" said Harry, never wanting to miss an opportunity to do something with his daddy.

"What about you, Rose? Do you want to come with daddy?" he asked.

"Mommy!" she replied, snuggling close to her mother. While Rose had no trouble in waking everyone early, she wasn't one for getting out of bed before she had too.

Dressing Harry appropriately and grabbing the single jogger stroller they had for Lily, Harm buckled Harry up before grabbing his key.

"You'll never guess," Mac said from behind him as she snaked an arm around his waist.

"She's asleep, isn't she?" he asked, shaking his head.

"Yep, three minutes ago," Mac said with a laugh.

"Well, maybe you can get some more sleep now," he said, kissing her cheek.

"And what about you?" she asked caressing his face. "You need more sleep than I do."

"I'm fine, Mac," he protested, dropping his head in the pretence of fixing the hood on the stroller.

"You got very little sleep last night, Harmon," she said, cupping his chin and Harm knew that the use of his full name, something she rarely did, showed she knew exactly what was happening.

"I'm fine, gorgeous," he reiterated but Mac remained unconvinced. "I promise I'll take a nap this afternoon when the kids do, okay?" he said, willing to compromise on this matter.

"Okay," she said with a nod before stepping back and opening the front door for them. "Have fun, baby," she said, kissing Harry's head as he was pushed by. "You too," she added, kissing Harm before closing the door.

As Harm pounded the sidewalk, Harry laughed at a rapid speed everything seemed to be passing at. Every now and then he'd yell for Harm to go faster, but his father's pace remained even. Meanwhile, Mac had made herself some coffee, before realising she didn't like drinking coffee during pregnancies and with this one as high-risk as it was, she wasn't prepared to do anything, however small, to jeopardise things.

Pouring the contents of the mug into the sink, Mac rinsed it before sighing and contemplating what else to drink. Opting for a hot chocolate, she got out the milk before being interrupted by the phone. Grabbing it quickly so Rose wouldn't wake, Mac answered it.

"I'm sorry it's so early, Mac, but I really meant to call you last night but then things were so hectic and then when I stopped it was too late so I thought I'd call you first thing and ...oh shit...I've just looked at the clock and it's even earlier than I thought, I'm so sorry," came the rambling and breathless response.

"Take a breath, Mattie," Mac said with a laugh. "Yes, it is early but I was already up, so it's no problem."

"Oh, thank goodness," Mattie said drawing a deep breath.

"So, what's happening?" Mac asked, continuing to prepare her drink.

"Well, it's official!" she stated joyfully. "We are now officially living at the farm."

"Great!" Mac said with equal enthusiasm. "Did everything go smoothly yesterday?"

"Piece of cake," Mattie said. "All went to plan. Colin and Dave Anderson took out the sofa and desk from the study and put in our bed and an old wardrobe the Andersons' had. We've got our better furniture in the barn all covered up and the other stuff we didn't want we left in the apartment for Allison."

"Grams must be so happy," Mac said before taking a sip.

"Oh, Mac, you should have seen her. When we pulled up yesterday she was waiting for us out the front and when I went to kiss her and say hello she was crying. She said she couldn't actually believe after all these years that there would be other people living on the farm," she explained, getting choked up as she recalled the old woman's emotions.

"She has been alone for so long," she replied, a lump rising in her throat.

"Yeah, I know," Mattie agreed. "And last night we had the most amazing roast chicken dinner and that fruitcake of hers that Colin loves. And then we spent the night looking at photo albums from the time she was a little girl until Harm was about five. Things pretty much stopped then."

Mac nodded to herself; she figured losing your spouse would be enough but you'd go on for your child. However, when you then lost your child, there was nothing left.

"Anyway," Mattie continued. "Grams bought this supersized album to start a record of the new beginning on the farm and Mrs Anderson scrapbooked the cover for her and it looks amazing."

As their conversation continued, Harm kept running, his thoughts drifting back to Mac and the pregnancy and to their retirements and the pregnancy and the move and the pregnancy and the risks of the pregnancy. So caught up with the swirling storm of thoughts, he failed to see the crack in the sidewalk and only became aware of it when the stroller reacted violently to it and, moving too fast to fix things, Harm fell over the top of it, causing the stroller and himself to tumble out onto the road.

Trying to untangle himself, Harm's ears were ringing with Harry's wails.

"Ssssh, ssh!" Harm tried to soothe as he righted the stroller, causing Harry to scream even louder. "It's okay, it's okay. Daddy's so sorry."

Ignoring his own injuries, Harm scanned his son and found abrasions on his hands and arms but all appeared to be superficial. He also found a small cut under his chin which only had a small trickle of blood. With the way Harry's arms and legs were flailing in his distress, Harm was reassured that there was nothing broken or seriously wrong, just one hell of a fright.

"It's okay, it's okay," he said unbuckling the child and holding him close to his chest. "You're okay, Harry."

For several long minutes Harm held and consoled his son until Harry's sobs subsided. Grabbing the stroller from the road, Harm turned it for home and ascertained that although it was damaged, it was still in working order. Despite this, Harry assured him, at the top of his lungs, that there was no way he was going back into it. After trying a range of tactics and bribes, which failed to work, Harm hoisted the child onto his hip and limped towards home.

It took them fifteen minutes to arrive on the doorstep, just as Mac was concluding her call. Hearing the noise, Mac opened the door and saw her sore and sorry boys on the doorstep,

"What happened?" she asked, taking Harry when he tearfully held his arms out to her.

"Boo boo," he said, holding up his grazed hand.

"I can see that, baby," she said gently, kissing the injured hand before tilting his head up and inspecting his chin.

"Owiee, mommy," he said, clinging to her.

"Lots of owiees," Mac agreed, before turning to take in her husband's appearance. His hand and arm had a case of gravel rash and there was a small graze and bruise on his forehead. When he stepped in and closed the door, she could see his limp. "How are your boo boos, Harm?" she asked gently.

"I'm fine," he said, stroking Harry's arm. "We were running along and hit a crack in the sidewalk and tumbled over onto the road."

"Shit," said Harry repeating the word his father had yelled as they landed on the road.

"Yeah, something like that," Harm agreed with a smirk.

"Owie, mommy," Harry reiterated holding up his hand once more.

"Mommy will fix it, baby," she said, kissing his head and turning for the bathroom. "Come on, daddy," she added, offering Harm her free hand. "Mommy will fix you up too."

Mac had stripped off both her men to ensure she knew the extent of their injuries and was thankful nothing more was revealed. Harm opted to have a shower before she tended to him but Harry preferred to remain with his mother. Sitting Harry on the bench, Mac grabbed some cotton wool and dampened it before dabbing at his chin. Harry pouted on contact but didn't protest.

"You're a brave boy, aren't you, Harry?" she said gently. Harry nodded. "I'm going to fix you up as good as new and then we can have breakfast, okay?"

"Okay," Harry repeated.

Taking the boy's arm, Mac cleaned the abundance of small wounds which were present, none of them serious.

"Owie," he said tearfully as she cleaned the one on his hand.

"I know, baby," she replied, kissing his head. At two and a bit anything that produced blood was a traumatic thing.

With a few Cartoon Network bandaids on his arm and hand and a dinosaur one under his chin, Harry was feeling more like himself. Picking him up, Mac hugged Harry closely and kissed his head, thankful that it was all so minor. As she heard the shower turn off, she had to wonder how minor her husband's wounds were, not the physical ones, the emotional ones.

With a towel wrapped around his waist, Harm presented himself for his wife's inspection; not because he felt it was necessary but because he thought she'd think there was something more seriously amiss if he didn't. The shower spray had cleaned up the cuts and abrasions nicely and, besides for an icepack on his knee, there was little else for Dr Mac to do.

Still, more on Harry's insistence than anything else, Mac sat Harm on the edge of the tub and closely inspected the bump and graze to his forehead, leaning down to gently kiss it when she saw the tears building in his eyes.

"Catdog or Dinosaur?" Harry interrupted the moment by holding up his two favourite bandaids.

"Oh, I think daddy can have the Stegosaurus," Mac said taking the red bandaid before opening it and placing it tenderly on his forehead and kissing it once more.

"All better, daddy," Harry said, giving him a hug and Harm nodded.

Knowing his job was done, Harry padded out to see if his sister was awake so he could show off his war wounds. Mac watched him make it safely to her bed before she turned her attention to her husband.

"I'm so sorry I hurt him," he said before she could speak. "One minute we were running along and the next we were tumbling onto the road."

"He's fine, honey," she soothed, caressing his face. "No real damage done."

"Yeah, I know, but it gave him a hell of a fright," he said sadly.

"I think it gave you a bigger one," she said, stepping in between his legs and wrapping her arms around him. Gently, she eased him forward and he rested his head on her chest. She knew him too well to know he never took risks with their children's safety, so for him not to see the problem with the sidewalk meant he wasn't concentrating which led her to the belief that he was too preoccupied with other things. By the look on his face, she knew this was the truth and it didn't take a genius to realise his thoughts would have been on her.

For a little while, Mac held him and rubbed circles on his back, kissing his head every now and then. When she thought he was capable of listening to what she had to say, she began.

"Harm," she said, raising his face. "I know you are worried about me, and this pregnancy, I get that, but if you keep up this level of concern I'll be admitting you to a sanatorium before we even get to the halfway mark."

Her comment was enough to get a smile from her husband.

"So, let's make a deal, for the time being; we'll both take a breath and not worry and we'll wait until Tuesday's appointment to see what there is to worry about," she said stroking his face.

Harm made the deal but it was easier said than done.

**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: We're on the home stretch now. Thanks to those still reading and reviewing._**


	41. Chapter 41

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**----------------change--------------------**

Tuesday morning, Harm and Mac sat in the Bethesda OBGYN waiting room looking calm and relaxed to everyone else present. However, their racing pulse rates were easily noted by the other as their hands lay entwined on Mac's lap.

It seemed like an eternity before the door opened and Dr Mollison called them in. When they were seated in front of her desk, the doctor smiled at them.

"Anyone would think you were teenagers with their first pregnancy," she commented with a smile. "Relax."

"You have to understand this pregnancy was the last thing we expected," Mac said, as she took hold of Harm's hand once more.

"I do understand that," she replied, nodding. "I've reviewed your files and as I told you when you first asked for the hysterectomy, things were looking good."

"Yes, but good is relative," Harm said, "We assumed good was in relation to Mac's recovery, not the state of her uterus."

"I know your concerns, Harm," she said. "I've consulted with two of my colleagues and they concur that with a lot of rest that Sarah should be fine."

Harm looked to Mac for her response and she smiled at him, knowing nothing short of a blue ribbon guarantee would relieve his apprehension at the situation they found themselves in.

"How much rest?" Harm asked when Mac failed to speak.

"Well, as much as possible and I know that's hard with three young ones," the doctor began to explain. "And by rest I don't necessarily mean in bed sleeping, although you will need plenty of that, I mean sitting down, feet up, no heavy lifting...that sort of thing."

"That's not going to be easy as we are planning on moving in the coming months," Mac said, breaking her silence.

"Then you'll have to settle on doing the packing and Harm can do the lifting," Dr Mollison said, looking between the pair.

Mac nodded, knowing arguing would be pointless.

"So, where are you moving to?" she asked, sitting back in her chair.

Over the next few minutes they discussed the changes they had planned for their lives before the doctor leant forward on her desk and looked at them both.

"That's a lot of potential for stress," she observed, making some notes. "You are going to have to watch that, Sarah."

"She will," Harm answered on her behalf.

"My position..." she started, glaring briefly at Harm, "...is winding up and that was going to be okay when I was taking medical leave prior to terminal leave. However, without surgery on the horizon, my career, or what remains of my career, is in limbo."

"Given your condition and the risk associated, I have no hesitation in putting you on medical leave for the duration," Dr Mollison replied.

"That's a good..." Harm began.

"That's not necessary," Mac interjected. "I'll take this up with my CO and see if there is an option for light duties for a couple of months, perhaps even on a part time basis, if you think that will be best."

"That sounds like an ideal situation," she replied, knowing that if Mac was anything like herself, being home resting for the next seven and a bit months would drive her insane. "Now, another scan today isn't going to reveal anything we didn't see in the tests last week," she said, grabbing an appointment slip. "So, I think we should wait for a 12 week ultrasound and have a look at baby then."

"And what if there's any problem before them," Harm said, not wanting to thinking the worst but unable to stop himself.

"Then Sarah can phone for an emergency appointment and I'll see her as soon as possible," she replied. "Not that I can see there being such an issue."

"Okay, great," Mac said, taking the appointment slip and standing up.

"And one more thing," the doctor added, causing Mac to turn back. "This pertains to you, Harm, you have to rest and relax too. Sarah's pregnancy is going to be a lot easier on her if she's not worrying about you at the same time. Do you understand me?" she said in a cautioning tone.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, the message received loud and clear.

With the doctor's visit going well and with the rest of the day clear, as both had taken the whole day, just in case the news wasn't so good, Mac and Harm sat out in the car park contemplating their next move. With it still being early, they decided to go home for a while before going out to lunch.

"Where are you going to take me?" Mac asked, watching Harm as he drove towards home.

"Me?" he asked, with a smirk. "I thought you were going to take me out to lunch," he countered.

"And why would you think that?" she asked with a laugh.

"Because you love me," he answered simply.

"That I do," she agreed.

Lunch was at The Palm restaurant after Harm phoned to check availability when they returned home. He hadn't informed Mac of their destination, just warned her to wear something nice, and preferably stretchy. As he turned into 19th Street NW, Mac grinned, she'd been suspecting this was their destination as they had made their way across town.

"I take it you approve?" Harm said as he parked the car.

"Oh, definitely," Mac gushed, her mouth already watering at the thought of a New York steak.

The Palm was a special place for them. It was where Harm had taken Mac on their first proper date, hoping the first class steak on offer would counterbalance any points he would lose due to his nervousness, it worked. It was also at this very restaurant Harm proposed and where nearly two years after that proposal, Mac informed her husband he was going to be a daddy for the first time.

"What made you think of this place?" Mac asked, linking her fingers through his as they walked to the front door.

"Well, it's where you told me about our first baby and we celebrated," he said, "So I thought it was only natural we celebrate our last child here as well."

Mac smiled; Harm wasn't really up to celebrating this child yet, his mind still full of all the negatives but she had to give him credit for pushing it a side and focusing on the positives.

"I like your reasoning," she said, as he held the door open for her.

Over lunch they discussed the pregnancy and how it impacted their plans. In the end, they both agreed that the biggest issue would be space in the farmhouse for a nursery. Mac also conceded that while she didn't need complete bed rest at this stage of the pregnancy that she may need it in the last part and therefore they should probably try and bring their terminal leave and move forward so Mac was settled on the farm before the final stages of the pregnancy.

With this being the plan, Harm suggested that they leave their house off the market and leave the excess furniture and basic necessities in it, as Mac would most likely be a frequent visitor to Bethesda throughout and beyond the pregnancy. Liking this idea, Mac agreed, if she was going to have to spend time in DC after the move, where better than to do it in her own bed at her old home.

Not being able to fit dessert in after her amazing main meal, Mac sighed and requested Harm take her home. The meal, along with the waned adrenaline from the appointment with Dr Mollison, had left her feeling quite tired. Dutifully, Harm took her home and tucked her into bed, before closing the blinds and turning for the door.

"Don't you want to join me?" she asked, patting his side of the bed. "I know you haven't been sleeping properly."

Harm smiled at her, she knew him too well. "Okay, just for a little bit," he said, thinking of all the things he'd wanted to get done around the house, without the kids there to help.

It was 2:10 when Harm closed his eyes for his 'little' sleep and 6:15 when he woke to Lily patting his face.

"Where'd you come from?" he asked, sitting up quickly, rubbing his eyes.

"Mommy picked me and the twins up early and she said it was because you had a headache and needed a nap," she said, stroking his face once more. "Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, I am, thank you, pumpkin," he replied, kissing her head.

"Good, 'cos mommy said to see if you were awake 'cos she thought that if you were still asleep you wouldn't sleep tonight," Lily explained, pulling back the covers so her dad would get up.

"I'm sure I'll sleep tonight," he said, climbing out of bed. Though the reality was that now, after four hours sleep, he probably wouldn't. He shook his head; maybe it would be him on fulltime bed rest by the end of this pregnancy rather than his wife.

Things went smoothly in the MacKenzie Rabb household for the rest of the week. There were copious amounts of phone calls between DC and the farm, lots of early nights and a whole back to school theme happening for Lily. The following weekend was devoted to shopping for new school shoes and clothes, a new backpack and a vast array of stationery items. After trawling the mall for a particular binder Lily wanted, Harm returned to the food court with Lily and sat with Mac who was busy feeding the twins.

"We got it, mom," she said proudly, pointing at the bag. "And it only took four stores."

"Only!" Harm grumbled, stealing a fry from Harry's plate.

"I'm glad you've got it," Mac said, patting the chair so Lily would sit down. "Now, what would you like for lunch?"

"Can I please get a slice of triple cheese pizza and some fries and a coke?" she asked and Mac nodded.

"And a cholesterol reading," Harm mumbled, making his way to the nearby counter.

"Daddy doesn't like the mall, does he?" Lily observed, looking to her mother.

"No, he doesn't, baby," Mac said. "But he's here because he loves you very much."

Lily grinned. She loved her daddy too.

After lunch, Harm took the twins with him as Mac took Lily to the hairdresser's for the traditional back to school haircut. Deciding to have her hair cut and blow dried as well; they caught up with Harm an hour later in the same food court after a brief phone call from Mac to find their whereabouts.

"You look a bit flustered there, Harm," Mac said, cupping his face.

"Well, you look even more gorgeous," he replied, playing with her locks.

"What about me, daddy?" Lily piped up.

"You look beautiful, baby," he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Very beautiful indeed."

Lily beamed proudly.

"What's say we head home now," Harm suggested eagerly. He detested the mall; too many shops, too many people and nothing of real interest to him. Usually, he would have begged out and stayed home, but not this time. With Mac being pregnant, he wasn't prepared to let her endure the perils of the back to school hordes by herself; even if taking the twins made it more of a hassle.

"You've been very good today, honey," Mac said, taking a twin in each hand as Harm carried all their purchases and made Lily hold onto his arm.

"I know," he said proudly, usually he would have fled by now. "I'm on my best behaviour.

Mac laughed; after he'd insisted on coming, she'd promised him that if he was on his best behaviour, she'd reward him appropriately.

"I'm on my best behaviour too, mommy," Lily said, looking up at her mom.

"I noticed, pumpkin," Mac said. "That's very helpful to daddy and me."

When they were home, the twins went down for a nap while Lily and Mac went into the kitchen to sort through all her purchases, taking off tickets and price tags and labelling everything with a permanent marker.

"What will my new school be like?" Lily asked over milk and cookies later on.

"Much smaller than this one," Mac said, putting down her glass of milk. "Are you worried about changing schools when we move?"

"No...not really...well, sort of," she said with a sigh. "I mean it will be great living on the farm but I'll miss having Nikki and Michael at school and I'll really miss Amy."

"But you'll make lots of new friends," Mac said encouragingly.

"Not lots," she said. "'Cos it's only a small school but I'll get to come home to Grams and Mattie and Colin and you and daddy and Rosie and Harry so I guess that's enough."

"Yes, you will," Mac said, tugging her daughter to stand in front of her. "And we all love you very much." Embracing the child, Mac kissed her head a couple of times.

"Mommy, can you and me have some special mommy – daughter time tomorrow, please?" she asked, hoisting herself onto Mac's lap. Having lots of people around was great, especially when they all loved you, but sometimes a girl just needed some mommy time, especially when she was about to face the trials and tribulations of being a third grader.

"I'm sure we can manage it," Mac said as Lily snuggled into her. "What would you like to do?"

"I don't care," she replied. "Just so long as it's me and you."

"Well, I'll see if I can come up with something special," she said, rocking her gently, knowing it wouldn't be long before her little girl was too old for these sorts of cuddles.

Lily's Sunday afternoon mommy – daughter time came in the form of a double date with Harriet and Nikki after Lily decided she wanted to go bowling with Mac. Not feeling like bowling ten frames, Mac suggested it was something Nikki would love and Lily agreed, conceding that so long as it didn't involve boys then it would still count. Especially, if she and Mac could have a special afternoon tea at Appleby's by themselves.

Later that night, when Lily was bathed, ready for bed and had organised everything she needed for school the next morning, she stood in the living room beside the sofa Mac was laying on.

"Must be bedtime for you, pumpkin," Mac said, taking her daughter's hand and tugging her closer.

"It is, mom," she replied. "Daddy said he'd tuck me in and read me a story so I just came to say goodnight."

"Okay then, goodnight, sweet dreams, Lily," she said, pulling Lily down so she could give her a kiss.

"Night, mommy," Lily replied, giving her mother a hug.

Mac watched as Lily padded towards her bedroom before turning back to face her mother.

"Something wrong, Lily?" Mac asked and Lily shrugged. "What is it, baby?" she probed, climbing off the sofa and making her way over to her daughter.

"Do you think you could talk to daddy for me?" she asked in a whisper.

"About what?" Mac countered, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Well, I'm going into the third grade, you know, and I'm eight now..." she explained.

"Daddy knows that," Mac interjected.

"Yeah, but he still thinks I'm a little girl," she said quietly, lest her father overhear them.

"You'll always be daddy's little girl," she said. "And your age won't change that."

"Yeah, but can you explain to him that picture storybooks aren't really for third graders?" she questioned. While she loved having her daddy read to her, she strongly believed the picture story books she once enjoyed were for those of the younger set.

"Oh," said Mac knowingly. "What would you like daddy to read to you?"

"Those old Nancy Drew books Aunty Harriet let me borrow," she said, pointing to the bookcase. "The mystery stories look so cool and 'The Twin Dilemma' is the one I'd like to have dad read."

Walking over to the shelf, Mac scanned through the books and picked out 'The Twin Dilemma'.

"Let's go and ask dad to read this one," she said, taking Lily's hand. "But only two chapters, you need to get your sleep."

**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: We're on the home stretch now. Thanks to those who are still reviewing._**


	42. Chapter 42

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**AN: We're closing in on 500 reviews for this story...I wonder how close we can get with this chapter....**

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It was clear to Mac that Harm wasn't impressed with Lily's selection of bedtime reading as she handed him the book. Harm was not a keen reader of fiction and the thought of having to make his way through the collection of a dozen Nancy Drew books sitting in the living room filled him with dread.

Still, being the good daddy he was, he began reading once Lily was settled in bed. When he hadn't returned half an hour later, Mac went to investigate.

"Isn't she asleep yet?" Mac whispered from the doorway.

"She's asleep," he replied, barely looking up from the text.

"So why are you still reading?" she questioned, making her way over to him.

"Just checking out whether it has a suitable ending for Lily," he said, his voice just a little higher, a telltale sign to Mac that he was lying.

"No, you're not," Mac challenged with a laugh before taking his hand and leading him from their daughter's room.

"I am so," he replied. "I don't know the quality..."

"Girls have been reading Nancy Drew since the 1930's, so I'm sure their quality was vetted long before you were even born," she said, pinning him against the hallway wall.

"I was just..." he began in his defence but Mac shook her head.

"You were enjoying it," she said with a laugh. "That's why you kept reading, isn't it?"

"No, I was just," he went to protest but Mac clearly wasn't buying it.

"You wanted to find out what happened," she badgered. "Admit it!"

Knowing he wasn't going to win this argument, especially as his wife was spot on, Harm decided to try and come out of it with some dignity. After all, how many 48 year old male lawyer – sailor – pilots were interested in reading girls' books?

"It's a mystery book, Mac," he said, well aware his wife was pressed up against him and was creating a physiological response he was trying to avoid. "You know how I hate leaving things unresolved." He grinned proud of his reply.

"I hate leaving things unresolved too," she agreed, pushing up on the balls of her feet so she could claim his lips. As he wrapped his arms around her, Mac ran a hand down the front of his jeans and Harm moaned into her mouth.

It didn't take long before they had moved along the hallway and into their own bedroom. Shutting the door behind her, Mac flicked the privacy lock, ensuring they wouldn't be disturbed which suited her just fine as she wanted her husband in a dozen different ways.

Despite her eagerness and Harm's responses to her actions, Mac soon realised he was doing little to initiate anything instead allowing her complete control over the situation. Within the parts of her mind which were still functioning, Mac recalled the last time he had completely devoted himself to her ministrations in this fashion; it was when she was heavily pregnant with the twins and he was concerned about hurting her and the babies.

It was either that or he just wasn't interested.

Moving away, Mac caressed his face before changing into her pyjamas and heading to bed, pulling back the covers and climbing in without a second glance at Harm. Surprised by the change of pace, Harm looked at her curiously.

"Changed your mind?" Harm asked, making his way around to his side of the bed and stripping out of his jeans and shirt.

"Yeah, I have," she said, waiting for him to get in. "Is that alright?"

"Sure," he said a little concerned; usually she didn't flip this fast on matters until much later in the pregnancy.

When Harm was settled, Mac turned off the lamp and shuffled over towards him, wrapping an arm around his head and cradling him to her.

For a while there was silence until Harm cleared his throat.

"Ah, Mac...you do realise it's only 1945 and a bit early for our bedtime," he finally said.

"I know," she said, tears evident in her voice. Instantly Harm rolled and turned his lamp on before rolling back to face her.

"What's wrong?" he asked, shifting further down in the bed so they could be face to face.

"Nothing," she replied, burying her face into his chest.

"Gorgeous," he said tenderly as he caressed her head. "What just happened here?"

"I wanted to make love to you but you didn't want to," she said, refusing to look up at him.

"When did I say I didn't want to?" Harm questioned, trying to get Mac to look at him, but failing.

"You didn't have to verbalise it," she said. "Your actions spoke for you."

Still not understanding what had happened, Harm lay on his back and pulled Mac onto him before wrapping one arm around her while using his free one to rake his fingers through her hair. While he knew he hadn't been proactive in the activities initiated by his wife he was certainly more than ready and willing.

"Is it because you're scared or because you're just not interested?" Mac finally asked with a sigh, turning her head so he could hear her.

"What do you mean?" he asked, finally managing to draw her face up only to see the hurt in her eyes.

"You didn't really seem into the whole thing, so I figure you're either scared you're going to hurt me or you just don't want to," she said tearfully.

"I will never not want to make love to you, Mac. Don't you know that by now?" he said, his own tears building.

"But..." she began to protest.

"I'm scared, Mac...so scared. And I know I told Dr Mollison I'd relax and not stress you out but I'm finding that so hard," he admitted guiltily. "It's bad enough I got you pregnant in the first place, putting you at risk, but the thought of doing anything else to hurt you makes me feel ill."

Mac quickly scampered up his body and held his face firmly in her hands.

"This. Is. Not. Your. Fault!" she hissed at him, slowly and firmly. "We got pregnant! You AND me! I thought we 'd discussed this already! Sex is not going to hurt me ... not at this stage...maybe not ever during this pregnancy. The baby is this big..." she said, using her fingers to indicate the small size of the foetus within her. "You're not going to hurt him or me. Do you understand that?"

"I understand," he whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks. "But do you understand that I love you more than life itself and I can't help but worry about you?"

"I do, honey. I do understand that but you've got to let this go," she said caressing his face. "It's either that or we're not going to be able to make love for the duration of the pregnancy. I'm not sure about you but I can't hang out that long... I barely made it through the few nights you're away on investigation."

"I can't hang out that long either," Harm concurred, his hand slipping under her top. "Even a night without you is too long."

"So, what are we going to do about it, sailor?" she asked, kissing his neck.

"I think ... in Mattie's words...I should build a bridge and get over it," he said, his head thrusting back as Mac sucked on his pulse point.

"I think that's a good idea," she agreed as she pulled his tank off him and trailed kisses as she went.

"Mac, just promise me..." he began as he discarded his clothing.

"The second making love is a problem I will let you know," she said, completing his thought. "I promise."

With nothing left to talk about, Mac resumed her actions and, this time, Harm reciprocated in a more than suitable fashion.

Waking a couple of hours later, Harm was pleased to find his wife still sound asleep. Glancing at the clock, he realised it was nearly midnight and decided he should get up and secure the house for the night. Easing his way from Mac's grasp, Harm slid out before rearranging the pillows so she had something to snuggle into. Pulling the covers up over her to ward off the cooler night air, Harm leant down and pressed a kiss to her head before grabbing his robe.

Opening the door slowly so it wouldn't creak, Harm smiled at the lock...how he loved that lock. He couldn't believe they'd gone eight years without one; he had no idea what they had been thinking. One thing was for sure though; there would be a lock placed on their bedroom door at the farm on their very next visit.

Padding down the hallway, Harm stopped to check on the kids, each one was sound asleep. Though he didn't want to wake them, he couldn't help but go in and kiss each one of them once more. While he loved his children during the daytime, there was an immense feeling which filled him when he saw them sleeping. Perhaps it was how peaceful they looked, perhaps it was the only time he could truly watch and appreciate them but most likely it was the fact that they were truly reliant on him to keep them safe and this alone filled him with an enormous sense of pride and duty.

Moving to the living room, Harm turned off the lamp and television which had been abandoned by Mac in pursuit of other recreational activities. Heading to the kitchen he cleaned up the last of the dishes, locked the back door and turned off the light. Realising he wasn't going to fall asleep too easily, and not wanting to risk waking Mac with his tossing and turning, Harm decided on some light reading.

Grinning to himself, he knew exactly which book he could read. Heading back down the hallway, he slowly opened Lily's door and padded across to the chair which had the earlier discarded Nancy Drew book on it. Picking it up, Harm turned for the door.

"Mmm, daddy," came Lily's weary voice.

"Hey, pumpkin," he said, moving to sit on the edge of her bed. "Why are you awake?"

"Lots of dreams," she said with a sigh.

"Are you a bit nervous about school tomorrow?" he asked, rubbing her leg through her bedcovers.

"Yeah, I guess," she said, propping herself on her elbows. "Third grade is going to be a challenge, you know? They expect us to know all this hard stuff."

"They don't expect you to know it, baby," he said gently, trying not to laugh at her concerns. "They expect you to learn it. They will teach you...that's what school is for."

"But what about my new school, what if they expect me to know stuff they think my old school has taught me but they haven't as they taught me something else and I go to my new school and I don't know the same stuff as the other kids," she rambled.

Harm blinked a couple of times trying to get her concerns straight.

"I'll tell you what, Lil," he said, helping her resettle in the bed. "We'll deal with the new school when we move. Don't forget, mommy and I will be home every day when you're at your new school so we'll be able to give you lots of help and if you have to do some extra work, then that's what we'll do."

"Okay," she replied, happy with the answer. "Daddy, can you please stay here until I go to sleep again?"

"Sure thing, baby," he said, kissing her head and caressing her face.

For awhile, Lily lay with her eyes closed but sleep wouldn't come.

"Daddy," she said, opening one eye. "Do you think you could read chapter three to me? I'm sure it will help me fall asleep quicker."

"Okay," he agreed. Normally the answer would be no, that it was too late, but this was a special occasion and his agreement had absolutely nothing to do with the fact he wanted to read the book himself, nothing.

It only took a couple of paragraphs for Lily to drift off once more, her father's strong and soothing voice sending her into a peaceful sleep. Harm took the opportunity to read on...and on... Somewhere towards the end, he fell asleep in the chair, the book falling opened onto his chest. It was in this position Mac found him just after two when she'd gotten up to go to the bathroom.

"Hey, Harm," she whispered, picking up the book and placing it on the dresser. "Come on, sailor, bedtime for you."

"I was just reading to Lily," he said, sleepily.

"Sure," she replied, looking back at the child who didn't look like she'd moved since Mac last saw her.

"Was," he protested with a yawn.

Mac grinned and Harm knew he wasn't going to win this argument right now. His only hope was that Lily would remember their midnight conversation and be able to tell her mother about it over breakfast.

"If you're a really good boy," Mac began as she held up the covers for Harm to climb in. "I might buy you some of the newer Nancy Drew for your birthday...or maybe Enid Blyton or perhaps some Trixie Belden." Laughing at her own comments, Mac snuggled down into the bed and while he wanted to defend his masculine pride, Harm had to concede that there was no sound more delightful than the peals of his wife's laughter.

**Thanks for reading! _Love to hear from you!_**

**_AN: We're on the home stretch now. Thanks to those who are still reviewing._**


	43. Chapter 43

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**AN: We're closing in on 500 reviews for this story...We did get closer with the last chapter...(lol) and we should be able to surpass it with this chapter....**

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About an hour before the alarm was due to sound, Harm's cell rang and he muttered to himself before reaching out and grabbing it. The call was relatively short and in hushed tones and when it was concluded, Harm got up, threw on his sweats and went and got the twins ready for day care.

Tired and confused, the twins were buckled into the car not too sure what was happening. Usually they had breakfast and a kiss and cuddle from mom before leaving and dad was usually in uniform too. Still. It was too early for them to think effectively and both were asleep before they reached day care.

After returning home, Harm went and had a shower before dressing in jeans and a sweater.

"Is it time to get up?" Mac groaned as she stretched.

"Just about," he replied, slipping on a shoe.

"'kay," she mumbled before she registered Harm's clothing.

"It's Monday, isn't it?" she asked, propping herself up in bed.

"Yes, it is," he replied, slipping on the other one.

"Lily's first day of school," Mac continued, trying to work out what was wrong.

"Yes, it is," Harm repeated.

"Okay," she replied, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "Then I guess we should get everyone up and dressed."

Dressed.

"Harm, why aren't you in your uniform?" she asked, the 'wrong' thing dawning on her.

"I'm not going into work today," he said, as she came to stand in front of him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, caressing his face. Now that she had actually looked into his face she could tell something was seriously amiss, and, as it wasn't her, she couldn't think of what it could be.

"Mattie called just over an hour ago, she thinks Grams' has had a stroke," he said, his eyes fixed on hers. "So, I told her to get her to the hospital and I'd meet them there."

"Is Grams alright?" Mac asked, linking her arms around his neck and keeping him with her.

"Unsteady on her feet, slurring her speech, can't hold anything in her left hand," he reported, his concern showing through.

"Well, let me get you some breakfast and you can get going," she said, kissing his cheek.

"No, I promised Lily we'd both take her to school for her first day, so I'll go from there," he said, running his fingers through Mac's messy locks.

"I'm sure she'll understand," Mac said, falling into his embrace.

"She would but that would mean telling her why and I don't think she needs to know, do you?" he asked trying to breathe deeply and calm himself.

"No, she doesn't," Mac replied. "Okay, I'll shower and dress and then we'll get the kids ready. We'll see Lily off at school and then I'll take the twins to day care and you can take my car to the hospital."

"Kid, not kids, Mac," Harm said, resting his forehead on hers. "I've taken the twins to day care already."

"What?!" she asked pulling back. "Without telling me..." she added, not liking the idea of not kissing her children good morning or goodbye.

"Day care opens from 0600, so I called and they could take them earlier than usual. I just figured that way they wouldn't be underfoot this morning and you wouldn't have to do it yourself," he explained. Harm had been so busy trying to sort out his own agenda for the day he hadn't considered anything other than getting to his grandmother and making sure Mac wasn't left with any additional or heavy tasks.

One look into her eyes though reminded him that his early morning drop off had deprived both parties of their morning greetings and he felt bad.

"Sorry," he said, pulling her back to him. "I wasn't thinking about them or you...just getting them dropped off."

"It's okay," she conceded, not wanting to distress him any further. Besides, as she had already planned on going in late, there was nothing stopping her from calling past the centre and seeing them.

It wasn't long before there was a knocking on their door.

"Come in, Lily," Mac called, watching as the door opened.

"How'd you know it was me?" she asked, padding over to her mom and dad.

"Well, daddy has dropped the twins off already so we could take you to a special breakfast before school. How does that sound?" she asked, knowing Harm would feel better once the morning had started.

"So cool!" she said, throwing her arms around her father. "Thank you so much, daddy."

"You're welcome, pumpkin. How about you go and wash up and get dressed and we'll get going?" he said, tussling her hair.

"Sure, dad," she replied, running to the door. "Where will we go?" she asked stopping abruptly.

"Wherever you want," he replied, knowing it would be IHOP and knowing there was a restaurant a block from her school.

"IHOP of course," she replied with a chuckle.

After a delicious breakfast, Harm drove the block to Lily's school and they all climbed out. Lily held her parents hands as they wandered through the corridor to find her new classroom. As they neared Mac could sense Lily's hesitation.

"Are you feeling nervous, Lily?" Mac asked, squeezing her hand.

"A little," she replied, leaning her head on Mac's arm.

"You're going to have a great time," she encouraged. "Isn't she, daddy?"

"Oh, the best time," he replied, forcing his enthusiasm.

As they reached the door, Harm's cell rang and he instantly looked at Mac. With her reassuring smile and a deep breath he looked at the caller ID - it was Mattie.

"I have to take this," he said, looking at Mac.

"That's okay," she replied. "I think I see Lily's new teacher so we might go in and say hello."

As they passed by, Mac squeezed his arm in a show of support.

"What's happening?" he asked without greeting as he walked away from the classroom.

"We're still at the farm," she replied, frustration evident in her voice.

"Why on earth are you still there?" he hissed, not wanting to raise his voice in the near deserted corridor.

"Grams doesn't want to go. She's saying she'll be alright and to stop fussing and she's refusing to cooperate with us to get her into the car," she said, her tears tumbling in frustration.

"Okay, okay," Harm soothed, not wanting to take his fear out on Mattie who was obviously trying hard to deal with it properly. "Give her the phone."

It took three minutes for his grandmother's slurred voice to come down the line.

"I'm aright," she said, her words not formed properly. "No needa fuss."

"Listen to me, Grams," he said firmly. "You are going to get your butt into the car and let Mattie and Colin drive you to the hospital. I will be there by 1030 and if you're not, so help me God, I'll call off our move to the farm completely," he said, surprising both himself and his grandmother with his words and his tone.

Not used to her grandson speaking to her in such a manner, and being a little concerned herself by her condition, Grams nodded to herself and handed the phone back to Mattie.

"Hoshpital," is all she said.

"How'd you get her to change her mind?" Mattie asked as she signalled for Colin to come over.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, call me if you need to," was all he said before he disconnected the call.

It took five deep breaths and a shaking of his head and arms, trying to get his frustrations out of his system before he moved to the classroom.

"It all sounds very good, Mrs Parsons," Mac was saying as he entered, his arm wrapping around her trying to draw in her strength.

Looking at her husband, Mac wrapped her arm around him. "Okay?" she mouthed and Harm nodded. "Mrs Parsons, this is my husband, Harm Rabb."

"And my daddy," Lily called out from the other side of the room.

"And Lily's daddy," Mac added, squeezing him.

They both shook hands and exchanged pleasantries before Lily came over and grabbed Harm to take him on the tour of the classroom she'd just been on.

"Is your husband alright?" Mrs Parsons asked, noting he seem on edge.

"His grandmother had a stroke this morning, we haven't told Lily. He's heading there as soon as we're done here," Mac explained in hushed tones.

With there still being half an hour before school started, Mac was a little reluctant to leave Lily there so early but Mrs Parsons came to their rescue.

"Lily," she called and obediently Lily came over. "Lily, I know it's exciting to have your mom and dad here but I was hoping you'd be able to help me out with a few things before school started. Would that be alright?" she asked, looking between Lily and her parents.

Mac nodded so Lily nodded too.

After farewells were exchanged, Mac and Harm departed, Harm driving back to their house so he could pick up Mac's car and she'd have his to pick up the twins later in the day.

"I know you're concerned but you promise me you'll drive safely," she said, holding onto him on their doorstep.

"I will," he replied, kissing her head.

"And you'll call me if you need me," she added, stroking his head.

"I will," he replied, kissing her again.

"And you'll call me even if you don't," she continued.

"I will," he promised.

With one last kiss, Harm got into her car and drove off towards his grandmother, praying that she would be alright. While he knew she was an old woman and had lived a long and healthy life, he couldn't bear the thought of losing her this close to moving to the farm. Realising how selfish this sounded, Harm shook his head furiously before the horn of a semi trailer brought him back to the task he was supposed to be concentrating on; driving.

Meanwhile, Mac had tidied up and changed into her uniform before heading to work. She had called the centre and had been informed that the twins were fine and was debating whether to call in and see them or not. If they were fine, then she didn't want to risk confusing or upsetting them, or herself, when they saw her but she left again without them. Deciding she'd just pick them early, she turned the car for The Pentagon and tried to keep her mind off Harm. It was a stress she didn't need, but quickly realised she couldn't avoid.

As action packed and fulfilling as her marine career had been, Mac had to concede that the last weeks would be spent in paper warfare as opposed to any other sort. Not that she regretted her decision but the completion of forms, reviewing of documents and organisation of rosters weren't exactly compelling stuff and allowed her mind to wander.

Not able to concentrate on the less than thrilling task of janitorial supplies for her department, Mac decided to give in to her concern and phoned Mattie herself. There was nothing new except for the fact they had made it to the hospital and Grams seeming to be less than impressed with her grandson.

Realising that if Harm arrived and got a less than warm response, his stress levels would go through the roof, something she didn't want, Mac decided to intervene and asked Mattie to give Grams the phone.

"Hello, Grams, how are you feeling?" she asked, absently playing with the pen on her table.

"Arright," she replied. "Telled Harm I was arright."

"I'm glad you're feeling alright, Grams," she replied, "And Harm will be too. He should be there soon."

"Too mush fuss, I'm aright," she replied, frustrated by the concerns of others.

"Harm just needs to see that for himself," Mac replied quietly. "He loves you very much. We all love you."

"Very rude to me, he was," she said, shaking her head. "Said go to hoshpital or you not come to the farm."

"Well, if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be there and then what's the point?" Mac said, knowing Harm wouldn't have been rude intentionally.

"Still rude," Grams replied with a sigh.

"I know, Grams," Mac agreed. "Harm is very concerned about me at the moment," Mac continued, "And now with you, his stress levels have increased dramatically."

"What'sh wrong with you?" she said, her voice tiring.

There were two ways she could go – with the truth or a lie. She decided to go with the truth.

"Promise you won't say anything?" she asked, knowing Grams' wasn't in the right state to make and keep promises at the moment.

"Promish," she replied.

"I'm pregnant, Grams, and Harm is very worried he's going to lose me... and now he's worried about you," she said, tears filling her eyes.

"Oh, Sarha," she said, feeling her grandson's pain. "Thish should be happy time."

"You know my problems, Grams," she said, "It's still too early to be happy."

"God will protecth you," she said.

"I know," Mac replied. "But can you understand how concerned Harm is. He wants you to be happy and healthy at the farm and he wants our last child to arrive healthy and he wants us all to be living at the farm. Right now though, he's very scared he won't have any of it."

"My boy'sh not scared," she said defiantly.

"He is today, Grams," Mac said quietly. "So please be gentle on him."

"I will," she promised. And soon after the call was concluded.

**Thanks for reading! **


	44. Chapter 44

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**AN: We hit 500 reviews - thanks so much. So, here's the next chapter.**

**----------------change--------------------**

Harried and anxious, Harm made his way to the reception desk of the small country hospital and informed the nurse of who he was and what he needed. Either Harm's demeanour or his size, or perhaps a combination of both, sent the young blonde nurse who had just started her first shift, scurrying to find anyone more senior than she was.

Before long, a seemingly as young doctor, complete with pristine while lab coat, approached.

"Mr Rabb, I'm glad you're here. Your grandmother has been asking after you," he said offering his hand, which Harm took. "My name is John Carolan and I've been attending to your grandmother since she arrived."

"How is she?" he asked, not worrying about introducing himself fully.

"She's settled quite well, given she wasn't in the best of moods when she first arrived," he began to explain.

"Well, she had just had a stroke," Harm said snidely.

"Yes, sir, I'm aware of that," Dr Carolan answered quickly. "What I meant was she seemed quite put out by comments you had apparently made to her."

"I was only doing it for her own good," he said, in his own defence.

"And it was the right thing to do. We've done some tests and scans and started the drug therapy and while your grandmother is of an advanced age, I believe she should recover well from this episode."

"Thank God," Harm muttered.

"Now, as I was saying, she has settled, apparently she had a call from your wife and since then she has been very compliant and cooperative," the doctor reported. "In fact, even your daughter commented on the change."

"My wife is very good at getting people to do the right thing," he commented proudly. She certainly knew how to get him to do the right thing.

As Harm followed the doctor through the nearby corridors, he took a few deep breaths telling himself the worst was over, everything was alright and that he wasn't to make a fuss otherwise Grams would feel something was seriously amiss. His determination and self control faltered the moment he entered the room and saw her asleep on the bed with an IV drip attached and looking every bit as frail and old as her 89 years would suggest.

"She's doing quite well, Mr Rabb," the doctor reassured him as he stood frozen in the doorway. "You can come in."

Harm nodded and made his way to the bed. Tenderly he picked up her hand and kissed it before holding onto it.

"Your daughter was just going to get Miss Sarah something from the grocery store on the next block," reported a brunette nurse who was completing the chart. "Said she wouldn't be long."

Harm nodded and muttered "thank you" before sitting in the armchair alongside the bed.

"Buzz if you need anything," the doctor said as he and the nurse turned for the door.

"I will," Harm replied, before looking over at the young man. "And thank you for your care."

After a few moments of sitting in silence, Harm rested his head on their joined hands and closed his eyes. All of the adrenaline seeming to slip away as he realised he wasn't going to lose his grandmother. Well, not today anyway.

"My boy," she whispered, using her good hand to caress his head. "My boy."

Slowly Harm looked up and into the teary face of his beloved grandmother.

"My boy," she repeated, patting his face and taking in his tear filled eyes.

"Grams," he whispered. "I'm sorry I was so rude to you," he quickly apologised feeling more 8 than 48.

"My boy, shhh," she whispered, pulling his head towards her in an awkward gesture of comfort.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, clasping her hand tighter. "I was just..."

"Shh," she soothed. "'Sokay."

For the next few minutes, Grams tried her best to console her grandson until the irony of the situation hit him. He'd travelled all this way to comfort her and here she was soothing him. Sitting up once more, Harm caressed her face and smiled.

"I'm so glad you're going to be alright," he said and she nodded, so was she. "And Mattie and Colin will be at the house to help you until you've recovered fully." Grams nodded again.

"Don't look sho worried," she managed to get out in a whisper.

"Me? Worried?" he said, trying to smile and not fooling anyone with his bravado.

"Sarha told me," she said, "Told me 'bout baby and how you shcared."

He nodded as tears pricked his eyes.

"Not be shcared," she said, patting his face. "Be aright."

"How can you be so sure?" he asked, praying that she was right.

"I been around long time, know thingsh," she said taking his hand.

"I hope you're right, Grams," he said, lifting her hand and kissing it as a tear escaped down his cheek.

When she felt her grandson was suitably composed, she asked him about the children and Harm told her every little detail he could remember about what they've been up to since she last saw them. With a huge smile on her face, Grams fell asleep and Harm sat there watching her.

"Harm!" Mattie said, trying to be quiet but her emotions not allowing it.

Instantly Harm was on his feet and his arms were wrapped around the young woman.

"I'm so glad you're here," she said, holding onto him tightly.

"Thank you for calling me," he replied, pressing a kiss to her head.

"How's she doing?" Mattie asked looking towards the lady in question.

"She's remarkable," Harm said proudly. "She's more worried about me than her."

"Why would she be worried about you?" Mattie asked instantly, staring up at him.

Harm gave a small laugh; there was no such thing as keeping secrets where the women in his life were concerned.

As Grams slept, Harm broke the news of the impending arrival to Mattie, complete with the health implications for Mac and the impact this news had had on both of them. Mattie listened on as she kept a firm grip on his hand.

"And now this..." Mattie said with a tearful sigh as she leant over and kissed his head. "No wonder Grams became so cooperative after speaking to Mac. She didn't want to add any other stress to the situation."

"Yeah," he said with a weary smile. He was beyond exhausted at the moment. Aside from the early wake up and the drive up, he still hadn't been sleeping well since the announcement of Mac's pregnancy and he wondered just how much more he could take.

"Harm, why don't you lie down in the bed over there," Mattie said, squeezing his hand. "You need sleep."

"I'm fine, sweetie," he said with a smile. "I'd rather sit here and..." A yawn overtook anything he was about to say.

"Aha, is that your final answer?" she asked, tugging him to stand up. Hesitantly, he cooperated. "Just lie down and close your eyes, I'll sit with Grams. If she wakes and needs you I'll wake you, I promise."

"But Mattie..."he went to protest but Mattie shook her head.

"Do you want me to check with Mac that it's alright for you to have a nap?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"No, no," he said quickly. "I'll lie down."

It was two hours later that Grams awoke to find her great granddaughter asleep in the chair and her grandson asleep on the bed. As she watched them, Mattie's phone, which was on the bed, began to vibrate and Grams picked it up and opened it.

"Hello," she said hoarsely.

"Grams?" Mac asked, surprised.

"Hello Sarha," she said, wondering when her speech would clear up.

"How are you feeling?" she asked quickly.

"I'm awake...not Harm and Mattie..." she said and Mac was sure she could hear the smile in her voice.

"You've all had a big day," Mac replied, so glad things seemed to be positive.

"Me...not so mush...been in bed mosh of it," she said and this time Mac heard her laugh. "Them two...worry too mush."

"That's because they love you, we all do," she said, glancing at the family photo taken at Lily's 8th birthday.

"I know. I know," she whispered.

"Can you let Harm know I called and I'm fine?" Mac said, rubbing her stomach. "I don't want him to worry."

"Boy worriesh too mush," Grams replied.

"Yes, he does," Mac agreed.

It was nearly eleven before Harm pulled up in the driveway at home, completely weary from his dash to his grandmother's side and all the emotions which went with it. Arriving to a darkened and quiet house, Harm figured everyone was in bed asleep and he was relieved, not sure if he could handle any big emotional scenes tonight.

With his stomach telling him it was too long since he'd eaten anything substantial, and his body telling him it couldn't be bothered to get anything, his brain decided to take him to the shower and wash the day off him. Walking quietly into his room, Harm stopped by Mac's side and pressed a kiss onto her head.

"Hey," she said wearily, her arms instantly wrapping around him and holding him close.

"Hey," he whispered. "Didn't mean to wake you. Sorry."

"It's okay. How are you doing?" she asked, pressing a kiss to his temple.

"I'm okay," he replied with a sigh. "Was just going to have a shower and come and join you."

"Sounds good," Mac replied, kissing him once more before she let him go.

By the time he returned from the shower, dressed in red and white checked boxers and a white tee, Mac was sound asleep once more. Feeling a little more refreshed than when he arrived home, he decided to check on his children. Rose and Harry were sound asleep in the same bed, which was something of a surprise. They hadn't shared the same space since they were out of the newborn stage. He'd have to remember to ask why in the morning. Kissing both their heads, Harm pulled up the covers around them and left quietly.

Moving into Lily's room, Harm was surprised to see the bedside lamp still on, a stage Lily had outgrown years ago. Again it was something he would have to address in the morning. Leaning down to kiss her, Harm was startled when Lily turned over, knocking into him.

"Daddy?" she said, trying to sit up and rub her face at the same time.

"Hey, pumpkin," he said, rubbing her forehead. "How was your first day at school?" he asked as he sat alongside her, holding her close.

"So much fun, daddy," she said, snuggling into him. "We played games and got jobs and I've got the same lunchtime as Nikki and Michael so I got to sit with them."

"Sounds like a good day," he said, kissing her head.

"Yeah," she replied dreamily. "Sorry it made you so late though."

"What do you mean, baby?" he asked, cupping her chin.

"You went into work late because you took me to school and then mom said that's why you had to work late," she reported through half closed eyes.

"I wouldn't have missed this morning for anything," he replied, not wanting to correct her as that would mean telling her the truth.

After a sleepy silence, Harm's stomach let him know that food should be his next priority.

"Daddy, you should eat. We left your dinner on a plate in the fridge for you," she said as she snuggled into her bed.

"What was for dinner?" he asked, hoping it was something enticing.

"Mommy made lasagne for us with meat and vegetarian for you," she said with a yawn.

"Was it good?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Well...she tried hard, daddy," Lily replied diplomatically.

Chuckling softly, Harm kissed his daughter's head. "Okay, Lil, I will go and eat once you go to sleep."

Despite the child's fatigue, Harm drifted off first and Lily propped herself up alongside him as she contemplated whether or not to wake him. Deciding that her daddy looked very tired but also uncomfortable, she slipped out from beneath his arm and headed to her mommy. She figured her mommy would know what was best – she always did.

"Mommy," she called, patting Mac's face. "I need your help. Mommy?"

"What's wrong, baby?" Mac asked wearily as she swung her legs out of the bed.

"I need your help," she repeated taking Mac's hands and pulling her up. "With daddy."

"What's wrong with daddy?" Mac asked suddenly wide awake.

"He's asleep but he doesn't look comfortable and his tummy is all grumbling and tumbling," she reported as she led her mother to her bedroom. "He said he'd go eat but then he fell asleep."

Pushing the door open, Mac smiled at the sight of her husband curled up on Lily's bed, his arms wrapped around her pillow, which Mac assumed he thought was his daughter.

"You're right, pumpkin, he doesn't look comfortable," Mac whispered.

"And listen..." Lily whispered in reply and soon Harm's stomach announced itself. "I told you it was grumbling and tumbling."

"Sweetheart," Mac called as she gently caressed his face. "Harm, honey, wake up."

An incomprehensible mumbled response was all she got.

"Come on, sweetie, Lily needs her bed back. She has school tomorrow," Mac said, patting his face.

"Hmm, Lily...bed...just checking," he muttered, forcing his heavy eyelids up.

When he managed to focus he saw his wife and daughter standing by the bed watching him intently, the same concerned look on their faces, the same hand on hip posture.

"What?" he asked, before realising where he was and what he'd been doing. "Oops, sorry, Lil." He climbed out of bed and rearranged the pillows and covers.

"That's alright, daddy," Lily said as she crawled back into bed.

"Sweet dreams, baby," Mac said, kissing her head.

"You too, mom," she replied grabbing her teddy.

"Good night, Lily," Harm said, taking his turn to kiss her.

"You make sure mommy makes you eat, daddy," she said, opening one eye and checking on the situation.

"Yes, Lily," he replied with a salute.

Mac laughed as she led her husband from the bedroom and towards the kitchen.

As they neared their destination, Harm pulled on Mac's arm.

"I don't really want anything to eat," he said, preferring to go back to sleep.

"I know," she concurred. "But your stomach's telling another story. Let me get you some..."

"I really don't feel like lasagne," he said, not wanting to be rude but really not up to Mac's cooking.

"That's okay," she replied, continuing their journey. "Harriet dropped off a spinach and ricotta quiche when she brought Lily home."

Harm smiled; Harriet's quiche was far better than anything else he could think of.

"Do you want me to heat it up?" she asked as she pulled out a chair and made him sit.

"Yeah, that would be good, thanks," he replied, watching her as she padded about the kitchen organising his meal.

Once she'd popped it in the microwave, she came and sat on his lap, caressing his weary head as it rested on her chest.

"When you weren't home by eight, I called Cresswell and got you off work tomorrow," Mac said, raking her fingers through his hair. "Originally, I was just going to see if you could go in late and once I explained the situation, he said take the day. He said the meeting you were supposed to have tomorrow had been rescheduled anyway, so there was nothing pressing and to take the day."

"Sounds good," he said, surprising Mac. Harm was never one to willingly take time off, preferring to soldier on through it all. As she studied his face, she had to wonder what was really going on with him. She knew he was worried about his grandmother, and about her, but in her mind it didn't account for this level of absolute fatigue.

Before she could raise the matter, the microwave pinged and she got up to collect his quiche. Placing a glass of water by his plate, Mac went to sit in the chair alongside him but Harm took her hand and drew her back to him. While he would concede that he needed food, he needed his wife more. He couldn't fathom why he was so tired. He'd had less sleep before, been in more stressful situations, worked harder but hadn't felt like he did right now.

His first thought, albeit a hazy one, was that it was just a sign he was getting old. His second thought was that there was something altogether wrong with him. After that he stopped thinking as Mac broke off a small piece of the quiche and held it up to his mouth.

"You've got to eat, honey," she said, and he opened his mouth obediently. "And when you're done, I'm taking you to bed."

Harm smiled; it was the best offer he'd had all day.

**Thanks for reading! **


	45. Chapter 45

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**----------------change--------------------**

While Harm stayed home Tuesday, Mac went to work and was surprised to return home after four hours at the office to find Harm was still asleep in bed, with no sign that he'd been up at all. It was so out of character for him that she instantly called their family doctor before waking him. With an appointment available within the hour, Mac woke him and encouraged him to shower and dress before telling him of their plans.

"You didn't bring the twins home?" he finally noted as he made his way to the kitchen.

"No, Bud said he would do it for us, to give you some more time in case you were sleeping," Mac said, caressing her husband's face before wrapping her arms around his waist.

"He's a good man," Harm replied, kissing her head.

"He is," she replied. "And he was right, you were still asleep."

"Is that why you woke me up?" he asked, still surprised he had slept through the five hours his wife had been absent from the house.

"Yes, I woke you because you were still sleeping and I am worried about you," Mac said, gazing up at him. "You haven't been yourself for the last week."

"Yeah, I've sort of been thinking the same thing," he admitted quietly. "But I'm sure it's nothing," he added quickly to reassure her.

"I'm sure too," she concurred. "But I have an appointment with Dr Montgomery in 37 minutes..."

"You do, what's wrong?" he asked, pulling her closer.

"What I meant was you do... and I'll be taking you," she said, kissing his cheek.

"I don't need to see the doctor," Harm protested. "I'm feeling much better as we speak."

"It doesn't work that way, honey," she said, patting his face. When she still saw his reluctance written on his face, she continued. "At least do this for me..."

"Okay," he said nodding.

They had to wait nearly an hour for Dr Montgomery but Mac conceded it was worth it; even if the doctor found nothing, it would give her peace of mind.

When called, Harm and Mac entered the consulting room and had a general conversation with the doctor. While both only mentioned the fatigue aspect, the doctor kept probing and while Harm was denying anything else was wrong, the doctor had his own thoughts on the matter. Asking Mac to wait outside, he asked the same questions again and did a full physical.

With Mac allowed back in, Dr Montgomery sat behind his desk once more.

"Well, let's summarise... the fatigue, the headaches, vomiting..." he began.

"You've been vomiting?" Mac asked tugging on his arm. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Didn't want to worry you," he replied, smiling half heartedly at her. "Sorry, doctor, please continue."

"The fatigue, the headaches, vomiting, insomnia...your deep concern over your wife's welfare... Excuse my bluntness, Sarah, but are you, by any chance, pregnant?" he questioned and Mac nodded.

"Yes, nearly nine weeks, why?" she asked, slipping her hand into her husband's.

"I'm thinking this sounds like Couvade Syndrome. It usually occurs at the end of the first trimester but, Harm, you seem deeply affected by your wife's pregnancy," he said, putting down his pen.

"Harm's feeling guilty," Mac said, before going on to explain the situation to the doctor.

"That would explain things," the doctor finally said. "It seems more and more like Couvade's."

"Couvade's?" Harm and Mac echoed.

"Otherwise known as a sympathetic pregnancy," he said, with a wry smile.

"Sympathetic pregnancy?" Harm said, looking to his wife. "That's all a crock of..."

"Harm!" Mac said, stopping him.

"Sorry, doctor," he said sheepishly. "How can you be sure?"

"Well, many of the answers you gave during your physical suggested something more psychosomatic than physical, and you've just spent the last few minutes rubbing your stomach..." he said with a smile.

"What's the treatment?" Mac asked, not quite believing the doctor.

"Birth," he said with a shrug. "In severe cases, the male goes through all the side effects of the pregnancy, the stomach can expand, he can put on 20 – 30 pounds, feel the labour pains..."

"And there's no way to stop it?" Mac asked as Harm didn't seem to be capable of doing so.

"If it's a true case of Couvade's Syndrome then no. If your current state is caused by feelings of guilt and anxiety and you can come to terms with the pregnancy and not stress about your wife and her condition," the doctor said, "Then you should recover nicely."

"That's easier said than done," he muttered.

He felt guilty, painfully guilty, that he had impregnated his wife when her condition was already precarious. He hated that he hadn't had a vasectomy after the twins were born, or at least when Mac's condition deteriorated. The truth was he hadn't even thought about it....what sort of husband did that make him?

He couldn't close his eyes at night without thinking about what life would be like if his inaction caused her death. He couldn't sleep knowing there was no guarantee she'd be sleeping in his bed by the end of the pregnancy. He couldn't stop his negative thoughts and, some days, he just couldn't breathe.

Later that night when they were in bed, Mac lay on her back and tugged Harm over so his head was on her chest and she could hold him and caress him. For a long time she just raked her fingernails across his scalp and kissed him every now and then. She knew he was awake and she knew he needed to talk to her but she wasn't going to push him, not tonight anyway.

Finally, Harm sighed deeply and Mac waited patiently for him to begin. It didn't happen and he just sighed again....and again.

"I love you, so much, Harm," Mac whispered, hoping it would get him to speak. "So very much."

"Love you too," he replied, reaching up to kiss her cheek.

"Are you able to tell me what you're thinking?" she asked. While she knew he had 101 things racing through his mind, she wasn't at all confident he could verbalise it.

"Not really," he admitted. "I just ... I'm just...Well, it seems..."

"I know you are scared about this pregnancy and what it means to me..." she began, hoping she could help him. "But is there something else?"

"Something else?" he asked incredulously, sitting up. "Something else?" He looked at her wide eyed and confused. "Isn't the whole pregnancy thing enough?"

"Yes, it is," Mac said gently, trying to take away his panic. "I just wanted to make sure there is nothing else going on."

Harm shook his head. There were a whole range of issues plaguing him at the moment; retirement, relocation, his grandmother... but by far the only thing keeping him awake at night and making him physically ill in the day was the prospect of this pregnancy killing his wife.

For a few long moments, their gaze remained locked until Mac managed to encourage Harm to lay with her once more.

"Harm," she said caressing his face. "I know I said I didn't want to terminate this pregnancy but I never asked you what you wanted."

"It's your body," he replied quickly. "It's your decision."

"Yes, it is," she replied, "But if it was yours, what would you decide?"

The power to speak escaped him momentarily. How could he explain to his wife that the new life they had created against the odds was too precious to terminate but that he, at the same time, didn't want her to be pregnant? How could he voice, in any reasonable way, that he loved her too much to take this baby from her but would die if the baby took her from him?

Taking a deep breath and willing himself not to throw up, Harm looked up at his wife.

"If it was my decision..." he started, his heart racing. "Then, despite the risks, I would go ahead with it."

"Okay," she said, nodding; at least they were on the same page.

"But..." he continued. "Then it would also be me taking the risk and I can handle that...you taking the risk..."

"You don't think I can handle it?" she interjected, her marine pride pricked.

"I'm sure you can," he answered quickly, not wanting to get on her bad side. "I'm just not sure if I can handle it."

"You can't handle what? Me being the one taking the risk?" she asked, needing some clarification.

"Yeah," he admitted. "Right now I feel like I'm drowning in it all..."

"In what?" she asked, sitting up cross legged and facing him.

"Guilt. Anxiety. Remorse," he all but whispered, his voice deserting him.

"About making me pregnant?" she asked, and he nodded. "And what do you think about me?" she asked tearfully.

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking up at her when he caught the pain in her question. "I love you unconditionally!" he stated emphatically without waiting for an explanation.

"I know you do," she asked, wiping away a tear from her cheek. "But if you're feeling all those things about getting me pregnant, then you must be having some pretty strong feelings towards me...and my part in us getting pregnant."

"No, I don't," he said, taking her hands in his. "I don't blame you at all...it's me...all me."

"Harm, honey," she said, caressing his face. "I know you know about sex and making babies...you explained it to Lily. Therefore, I know that you know it takes a mommy and a daddy...the daddy can't do it alone."

"It's not that simple," he said, smiling at the way she had explained it.

"Yes, it is," she said, kissing him on the nose. "You, plus me, plus sex equals baby. However you look at this, we are equally responsible and therefore equally to blame."

"I don't blame you," he replied earnestly.

"And I don't blame you," she said, pulling him closer.

"But I blame me..." he mumbled as she cradled his head to hers.

"What can I do to change that?" she asked, knowing that telling him not to blame himself wasn't going to work in the least.

'No idea," he whispered, holding her tightly.

Wednesday saw an attempt at normality by both Harm and Mac. He tried not to be overly concerned by every little thing Mac did and felt and Mac tried not to be concerned about him. After all, there was still work and his grandmother's stroke to deal with.

Thursday, Mac worked for the morning only and with Harm at work, Lily in school and then with Harriet and the twins in day care, Mac returned home knowing she had the place to herself for at least five hours. Her first priority was lunch and her second was a nap. With Harm not sleeping well, neither was she – not that she was letting on.

Having just fallen into a deep sleep, Mac was awoken by her cell ringing.

"MacKenzie..." she half drawled, half yawned.

"Sarah?" came Trish's voice. "Did I wake you, sweetheart?"

"Yes," she replied with another yawn. "But it's okay."

"What's wrong, sweetie? Why are you asleep in the middle of the day?" Trish asked, already grabbing the phone book so her next call could be a travel agent to book tickets east.

"Oh, Trish..." Mac said tearfully, her effort to keep composed and stoic, especially around her husband, diminishing the minute she spoke to her 'mom'.

Over the next ten minutes, Mac spilt everything and went through seven Kleenex as she did. By the time she hung up, she was feeling somewhat better about the whole thing.

Later that night, with the children asleep, Mac sat curled up with Harm on the sofa. He'd made several half hearted attempts to get Mac to agree to go to bed but she was resisting with a range of excuses. Finally, he let it go, and just enjoyed the comfort of having her snug in his arms. Very little was said as Mac was trying to get Harm to just relax while Harm was thinking Mac just needed some quiet time.

Just before eleven, Mac heard the noise she'd been waiting for. Unfolding herself, she stood up and yawned and stretched before leaning back down and kissing Harm's head.

"Love you," she said, as she caressed his face.

"Love you too," he replied, standing up with her, more than ready to head to bed.

"Just remember that," she said as she walked over and opened the front door.

It took Harm a moment to realise what was happening.

"Mom? Dad?" he said as they appeared before him. "What on earth...?"

Warm greetings and hugs were exchanged before Mac ushered them inside and Harm helped with their luggage.

"Now, as I was saying..." Harm began once more. "What on earth are you doing here?"

"I happened to call Sarah today at lunch," Trish said, wrapping her arm around her son's waist and leading him to the sofa. "And...well...she told me what was happening."

Harm looked to Mac and Mac smiled guiltily.

"So, Frank and I decided we should come over and see what needs to be done and how we can help," she said, ever efficient.

Frank smiled to himself... and at her concept of 'we'. While he didn't mind coming east and was certainly willing to help out he hadn't exactly been consulted on the matter.

"There's nothing to do, mom," he said, as they sat side by side on the sofa. "We'll be fine."

"I have no doubt you will be, sweetie," she said, squeezing his hand. "But I'm sure there are things you need...even if it is just a hug and kiss from your mom."

Pulling him towards her, Trish kissed her son's head as she held him tightly; somewhat surprised he was allowing her to be so demonstrative in her love. It took her a moment to realise he was actually crying.

Looking to Frank and Mac who were standing nearby, she tilted her head towards the kitchen; Mac got the message.

"Frank, would you like to help me get some supper ready?" she asked, taking his arm.

"Certainly, dear," he replied, very used to taking cues from his wife.

Once they had gone into the kitchen, Trish kissed her son's head once more before lifting his face and wiping away his tears. It nearly killed her to see the heartbreak in his eyes.

"Tell me, Harmon," she said quietly, as she raked her fingers though his hair.

And then the dam burst and, just as Mac had cried her way through the phone call earlier in the day, Harm did the same, except he had the luxury of his mother's arms around him.

Pulling himself together, Harm wiped his face and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, mom," he apologised now feeling embarrassed by his breakdown.

"What for?" she asked, handing him a Kleenex.

"The blubbering...not exactly me...is it?" he asked, trying to laugh at himself, but not succeeding.

"No, it isn't," she said, patting his arm. "But I'm glad you did it...you can't keep these feelings bottled up like you do, Harm. It's not healthy."

"I know," he agreed with a sigh. "Just seems easier not to let it out..."

"No, sweetie," she said gently. "It's just about trusting those around you to help you deal with what you do let out."

After spying through the slightly ajar kitchen door, Mac picked up the tray and deliberately made more noise than necessary as she and Frank re entered the living room.

"Coffee and quiche for you, Trish and coffee and a banana muffin for you, Harm," she said, putting the tray on the coffee table.

"Thanks, dear," Trish replied, as Mac handed her the mug, "What sort of quiche is it?"

"Quiche Lorraine..." she said, sitting on the other side of her husband. "But don't worry, Harriet made it, not me."

As supper was enjoyed with quiet conversation, Mac looped Harm's arm around her and snuggled into him. She wasn't going to ask about his conversation as it was something between mother and son. She was just happy he had found Trish's love and concern as comforting as she did.

By the time Harm and Mac climbed into bed it was a little before two, but it had been a productive time. Plans had been made for the weekend which would see Trish and Frank stay at the house with Lily, and most likely spoil her rotten, while Mac would ask Harriet to take the twins for the weekend; something she was sure Harriet would do. Harm and Mac would then be free to go to the farm and see how Grams was settling in after her discharge from the hospital earlier that day.

As he wrapped his arms around his drowsy wife, Harm pressed a kiss to her head.

"Why didn't you tell me they were coming?" Harm asked.

"Because you would have spent the evening practicing your 'I'm alright' speech," she replied as she cuddled in closer. "And I know you're not."

"But I am," he protested, albeit weakly.

"You may be now, but you weren't before," she replied gently as she kissed his chest. "And I knew I couldn't help you but that your mom could."

"You do help me," he said, drawing her face up to his.

"I know..." she replied. "But I figured you just needed your mom... just like I did..."

"I feel a bit too old to need my mommy," he said, trying to laugh it off.

"You're never too old," Mac said, rubbing his chest.

"You sure?" he asked, still feeling embarrassed by the extent of his lack of emotional control at the moment.

"Positive," she replied. "Do you think Lily will ever be too old to need us?"

"I hope not," he answered, not ever want to imagine his little girl not needing anything from him.

Even though there were only four hours between going to bed and the alarm, it was the first night since the announcement of the pregnancy that Harm had slept soundly. As he awoke to the alarm, he realised he may have to give credit to his mother's theory that he shouldn't keep things bottled up like he did.

**Thanks for reading! **


	46. Chapter 46

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**AN: We're nearly there, folks!**

**----------------change--------------------**

Over breakfast, Harm and Mac had explained to Lily what the plans were to be and suddenly her excitement at her grandparents being there was tempered by the fact her parents were leaving her behind.

"We're not leaving you, baby?" Mac said, caressing her daughter's face. "We just have a few things we need to do at the farm."

"Then why can't I come?" she questioned, one hand on her hip.

They explained the reasons in a roundabout way but Lily wasn't buying it. Eventually, Harm just took a deep breath and hoped he was doing the right thing.

"Well, Lily," Harm began. "Grams hasn't been well this week and mommy and I want to go and check on her."

"I want to see her too," Lily protested, her second hand finding her other hip.

"No, sweetie," Mac said firmly. "Grams needs to have some peace and quiet."

"But..." she began once more.

"No!" Mac said with more authority; a tone Lily had rarely heard. "You are going to stay here with grandma and grandpa and that's it."

Any protest Lily was going to make disappeared as she looked at her mother and knew she meant every word.

"Will I see you tonight?" she asked tearfully.

"No, baby," Mac said gently, drawing her daughter back to her. "We're leaving work early, daddy will drop the twins off with Aunty Harriet for the weekend and then pick me up and we'll be off."

"Okay," she said with a sniffle.

"But we'll call you before bed, or you can call us when you get home," Harm said softly as he kissed her head, he hated to seeing his little girl upset.

"Okay," she echoed.

"And we'll have the best time," Frank enthused. "I know there are lots of things we could do this weekend."

"Okay," she repeated.

With lots of hugs and kisses, Lily stepped onto the bus and tearfully waved her parents and grandparents goodbye. Mac felt dreadful about sending her to school when she looked so sad but there was no choice.

It was late afternoon before Harm pulled Mac's car up into the driveway at the farm. Colin came out to greet them and Harm could tell the man had had little sleep in the week. Rather than the handshake Harm was expecting, Colin took him in a rough embrace.

"Thank God you're here," he said, patting Harm on the back.

"What's wrong?" he asked, quickly pulling back.

"Grams is trying to get Mattie to clean things to her liking and nothing she does is right, but she's trying not to upset Grams and she's running herself ragged in the process," he explained as he moved over to greet Mac.

"Have either of you slept much this week?" Mac asked, as she grabbed her bag from the trunk, which Colin quickly took from her.

"No, not really," he said, grabbing Harm's bag with his other hand lest Mac think he was only doing it because of the baby...which he was...because Grams had told him to make sure he did.

"Why not?" she asked, as Harm wrapped an arm around Mac's shoulders and started walking towards the house.

"Because we've been spending a lot of time at the hospital and then coming back in the evening and trying to get things ready for Grams discharge today as well as continuing with the plans for our house and getting settled in in general," he rambled, as Harm opened the door and let Colin in with the bags first.

Taking the bags upstairs, Colin disappeared quickly from sight as Harm and Mac headed to the living room, both a little apprehensive about how Grams was and how she'd receive their visit.

"Mac! Harm!" Mattie flew to her feet and gathered them both in at the same time.

"It's good to see you too, Mattie," Harm said, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her head.

"Thank you for coming," she whispered, before kissing Mac. "Congratulations, Mac. I know there are concerns but I am excited about having a baby on the farm...might give me some practice," she added with a wink.

"Hi, Grams, how are you doing?" Harm asked, breaking away from the ladies and kissing her head before kneeling by her chair.

"Better than lasht you shaw me," she said, patting his face. "You tired. You not shleep."

"I slept better last night, Grams," he said, squeezing her hands.

"Hey, Grams," Mac said, approaching her from the other side and kissing her cheek.

"Sarha, Sarha," she said clasping Mac's hand. "You look tired too."

"I'm fine, Grams," she said perching on the arm of the sofa. "And I'm sure we'll both sleep well tonight without the kids to get up to."

"Where are the kidsh?" she asked, holding onto Mac.

"Harriet and Bud have the twins and Trish and Frank have Lily at our house," Mac explained and Grams nodded.

The conversation was kept light and easy, neither Harm nor Mac wanting to put any stress on Grams. It wasn't until Mattie excused herself to prepare dinner and Mac went to help her, that Harm was left alone with his grandmother.

"So really, Grams, how are you feeling?" he asked, sitting on the sofa but still holding her hand.

"Fine, fine," she said quietly. "Need shome therapy but shoon be good ash new."

"And how have you managed around the house?" he asked. "With the stairs and the bathroom?"

"Shlow," she said, with a frown. "But will geth fashter."

"I'm sure you will," he said reassuringly. "Do you need your bed set up downstairs?"

"No," she said adamantly. "Nurshe shaid I'm okay. Jusht need shomeone there...jusht in cashe."

"Okay," Harm replied, not entirely convinced, but he'd wait until she was heading to bed that night to judge for himself.

Dinner was spaghetti which Grams obviously wasn't too fond of, so to protect Mattie's fragile state, as it was after a week of running after the woman, Mac was overly enthusiastic about it. Harm, for his part, couldn't offer such a positive response as he was having the vegetarian version and, if he was under oath, wouldn't be able to praise all that highly. Still, Mac's praise seemed enough for Mattie and as Grams knew her grandson was still very worried and protective about his wife, she wasn't going to say anything to upset or contradict her.

After dinner, Mattie went to start the dishes but Colin intervened telling her he'd do them, when Mac went to help him he was just as firm in saying no. There hadn't been much he felt he could contribute to the household during the week but this was something he could manage and he was going to do it – alone.

As the women settled into the living room, Harm went to help Colin and prepare the tea and coffee he'd offered the others.

"Really, I can do these," Colin said as Harm picked up a tea towel.

"I know," he replied, patting his back. "I wanted to talk to you and figured this was the best time to do so."

"Oh, okay," Colin said, a little apprehensive about what the 'talk' would entail.

"Don't look so worried, son," Harm said, as his paternal instincts took over. "It's nothing bad."

"Oh, okay," he repeated.

Over the next ten minutes, the men discussed the state of the farm and how things were going on the farm, aside from Grams' stroke. They had moved onto the building plans for Mattie and Colin's house when Mattie came and interrupted.

"Grams wants to know if you've completely forgotten about her cup of tea or if you're just slow," she said as she leant against the counter.

"It's coming," Harm said, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her head. "You're exhausted, Mattie."

"Yeah, I know," she said tearfully as she held onto him.

Harm rubbed her back and kissed her head once more before letting her go and turning his attention to the hot drinks he was supposed to be preparing.

"You've done a great job this week, Mats," he said as he prepared Grams and Mac's tea.

"Grams doesn't think so," she replied with a sigh.

"I'm sure she is very grateful," he said, patting her arm. "She's just being difficult because she doesn't like being unwell and is very resistant to help."

"So that's where you get it from," she said, remembering back to when she was living with him, or rather with Jen across the hall, and Harm had a bad dose of flu but was very resistant to any TLC being offered.

"Yeah, probably," he said with a chuckle. "Well, even if she doesn't appreciate it just yet, I certainly do."

And he did.

At any other time there would have been no one at the house and he would have had to take time off work to be with his grandmother and then make arrangements for when she came back home. Chances are that she wouldn't have been able to return to the farm, not yet anyway, and he'd have to take her to DC with him.

Not that he would begrudge doing that, he'd have her living with him in a heartbeat if that was necessary, but with his newly pregnant wife and all the issues which went with it, he could only imagine how much stress would be on him if he was firstly, away from his wife and family, and secondly, had Mac wanting to run around after her at the house.

Later that evening, Grams announced she wanted to go to bed and Harm was immediately on his feet to help her. It took more than 15 minutes for Grams to move from the living room to her upstairs bedroom and Harm had to wonder if that was the most practical thing. Still, he had to consider that while there was a standalone toilet downstairs, the only full bathroom was upstairs and Grams would have to come up to use that anyway.

Once she was safely on the landing upstairs, Grams informed him that she wanted a shower and to change, something she did every night, and also added, in no uncertain terms, that he was not going to help her.

Before Harm could reply, Mac was at the door.

"It's okay, Grams, I'll help you," she said, moving into the bathroom.

"But..." Harm began to protest.

"You just wait outside," she said to her husband. "And I'll call you if I need you."

"You just take it easy," he said, his face full of concern.

"I will," she replied, kissing his cheek. "Go!"

Dismissed by his wife, Harm went out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him. As Mac helped Grams undress and step into the shower, Harm went into her bedroom and assessed what needed to be done. Pulling down the covers for her, Harm prepared the bed, before closing the window and shutting the blinds. Picking up the small bag Grams' had used at the hospital, Harm pulled out the nightdress she had worn and put it in the hamper, before pulling out her slippers and placing them under the chair so she could still see them.

Meanwhile, Grams was sitting on the hospital chair in the shower as she washed and rinsed herself. Mac sat perched on the bathtub as she awaited the next instruction. As the water was turned off, it came.

"Towel, Sarha, pleashe," she said as a shaky arm poked out from behind the shower curtain.

Dutifully, Mac stood up, grabbed the faded yellow towel and handed it to her. After a few minutes of trying, Grams had to concede she couldn't dry herself properly, especially as she was still confined by the chair.

"Need help," she finally admitted, albeit quietly.

Pulling back the shower curtain, Mac helped the old lady stand and steady herself before assisting her to step out onto the bathmat. When Grams had taken hold of the basin to steady herself, Mac took the towel and dried her, all the while chatting about Lily and the twins so Grams would be distracted from what she was actually doing.

When dry, Mac assisted Grams to put on her nightdress and do the buttons up at the front.

"Thank you, Sarha," she said grateful for the help, embarrassed she needed it.

"Anytime," Mac replied.

When she was sure Grams was ready to leave, Mac opened the bathroom door and immediately Harm sprung to his feet.

"Thought you'd gone done the plug hole," he said, their twenty minutes in there seeming like an eternity.

"Don't be cheeky, shon," she admonished as he took her arm and led her to her bedroom.

Without further instruction, Harm tried to help his grandmother into bed before she could stop him.

"No!" she said as he tried to swing her legs around for her.

"Harm!" Mac said at the same time.

"What?" he replied, looking between the two.

"You've been married to me long enough to know there are certain things that I do before I get into bed," she admonished, much to Grams' delight; she couldn't have expressed it better. "I do my hair, face and hand cream, my nails if I have to..."

"Sorry!" he said sheepishly. He knew Mac did all those things...well, she did when he let her and didn't distract her with recreational pursuits, but he was so used to putting Lily straight to bed after a bath that he hadn't considered it. It was then he realised his grandmother was a woman, and while anyone would think that was a given, it wasn't. For all of his 48 years, she hadn't been a woman, she'd just been Grams.

Stepping back to allow his wife more room, Harm watched as she brushed Grams' hair and helped her apply and rub in her face cream. When her nightly routine was complete, Mac stepped back and looked at her husband.

"Now, you can help her into bed," she said with a smile, knowing he'd have a fit if she tried to physically assist Grams.

Ensuring she was tucked up in bed and comfortable, Harm and Mac bid Grams goodnight, before both hugging and kissing her.

"Thank you," was all she could manage through her tears. She hated being dependent on anybody.

"You're welcome," Mac said, pressing another kiss to her forehead. "I love you very much."

Grams patted her hand.

"I love you too," Harm said, stepping back up to her and kissing her once more. "I found you a bell...ring it if you need anything...at anytime, okay?" he said, pointing to the object.

"Love you, my boy."

Wanting to talk to Mattie and Colin without his grandmother present, Harm led Mac back down the stairs but seeing Mattie curled up into her fiancé, Harm decided what everybody needed more was an early night and promptly told them to head to bed.

When Mattie went to protest, as it had just gone eight, Harm shook his head.

"Go to bed, Mats," he said, reaching out and helping her up. "We all need a good night's sleep. If Grams needs anything during the night, I'll get it."

With no energy or inclination to argue, Mattie wrapped her arms around Harm's neck and hugged him.

"Thank you," she said, before kissing his cheek.

Sitting up in bed waiting for Mac to return from the bathroom, Harm decided to call his parents and the Roberts' once more. They had already spoken to the children, the twins once, Lily twice, but it hadn't been the time to discuss Grams' condition.

Starting with the Roberts', as he knew it would be a shorter call, especially if Bud answered, Harm dialled the number and waited. It was Bud, it was short – just the details and little else. Once he disconnected that called he dialled his home number and knew this one would be a lot longer. It was.

Frank answered the phone and Harm shared the news of their day with him and gave a report of his grandmother's conditions and needs. Then, his mother took the phone and he repeated himself and went on to answer about 25 questions his mother had on the topic and then about another dozen she had about Mattie and Colin and then more about himself and Mac.

Mac...

The thought then struck him that Mac had been in the bathroom an awfully long time.

Rather than putting his mother on hold, he explained to her that Grams was ringing her bell and he needed to go and Trish quickly said goodbye.

Jumping up, Harm almost ran to the bathroom only to find it empty. He checked Grams' room, only to find her alone and sleeping. Heading downstairs, he found his wife sitting at the kitchen table with a Mars Bar in one hand and a glass of milk in the other.

"What are you doing?" he asked, scanning her face.

"Um..eating chocolate..." she replied, holding up the bar.

"Okay," he said slowly. "I was just a little worried..."

"I didn't mean to be down here so long but it took forever to find chocolate," she said before taking another mouthful.

"Craving?" he asked, pulling out the chair beside her.

"Mmmha," she mumbled. "Something like that."

Harm watched and waited quietly as his wife finished the chocolate bar and the milk before taking her wrapper and glass; disposing of one and washing the other.

"Ready for bed now?" he asked, as he held out his hand to her.

"Aha," she replied as she let him pull her up. "Are you going to sleep tonight?" she asked as they headed up the stairs.

"Maybe," he replied with a smile. He couldn't promise her he would as it wasn't exactly something he could control.

Settled into the bed, Mac encouraged Harm to move further down so she could hold him. This position seemed to offer him more comfort than him holding her and slowly he did.

**Thanks for reading! **


	47. Chapter 47

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**AN: We're nearly there, folks! Thanks to those still reading and reviewing.**

**----------------change--------------------**

An hour or so after they had drifted off to sleep, Harm began mumbling waking Mac. Holding him closer and stroking his head didn't seem to stop his nonsensical babble.

"Harm, sssh," she whispered, "It's okay, honey."

"Can frsjhl aberta lollton," he muttered and Mac just held him closer. "Unty parsintable hrgump."

"Ssh, honey," she soothed, kissing his head once more. "Everything's alright."

"Humsh gotup...baby!" he said his eyes popping open. "Baby's crying...I'll get him."

"Sssh, no, Harm, it's okay," Mac said, tugging him back to her. "There's no baby crying."

"Crying..." Harm repeated still trying to get up. "Gotta get him before he wakes the others."

"No, Harm," she said, realising he was still actually asleep. "Baby's stopped now, listen."

In the middle of his effort to get out of bed, Harm stopped to listen and, hearing nothing, got back into bed.

"Baby settled," he mumbled as his head hit the pillow once more.

"Yeah, baby's settled," Mac agreed, knowing that he wasn't listening to the truth anyhow.

It was another hour, just as Mac had drifted off, that Harm started rambling once more. "Baby..." he yelled, pulling away from his wife. "Baby...crying..."

"No, Harm!" she said firmly. "The only baby in the house is still in here..." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "And he's fine."

"Cantcha berba baby..." he muttered as Mac pulled him onto her and caressed his head.

"Ssh, Harm...you need to sleep... I need to sleep..." she said, closing her eyes while rubbing his back. "Please, honey, sleep properly for me...please." Mac's quiet pleas weren't enough to cut through Harm's slumber and his restlessness and mutterings continued. "Please, Harm, shh, honey, you need to cut this out," she pleaded, "I need you to sleep....I need to sleep...please." She hadn't begged anyone to sleep for her since Rose had screamed her way through the night while teething for the sixth night straight and she was beyond exhausted.

"Harm, please, shhh," she said more firmly. "Baby and I are fine..." It made no difference.

"Daddy," she continued, "Mommy and me are good...you need to sleep now," she said, wondering if it would make a difference. It did and Harm stilled momentarily.

Pleased that he had seemed to settle, Mac closed her eyes before a gentle knock on the door caught her attention.

"Come in..." she called softly and wasn't surprised to see Mattie opening the door.

"Is everything okay, Mac?" she whispered, looking at Harm as he tossed his head back and forth. "We heard Harm yell something about the baby."

"Yeah, Mattie...we're fine. Harm's dreaming," she said as she pulled him close once more.

"He's very unsettled," Mattie observed, watching as he tossed and turned the best he could in Mac's restrictive embrace.

"Yeah, I know... he keeps saying the baby's crying and he wants to get up to him..." Mac explained as Mattie sat on the bed facing her.

"This isn't like him," she said as she reached across and rubbed his back.

"No, it's not," Mac agreed, her eyes filling with tears of tiredness, frustration and concern. "But he's got himself into such a state over the baby that it's just constantly on his mind.

"Anything I can do?" she asked as she watched him intently.

"No, not at the moment, honey," she said, looking to her husband. "But Grams wants to be up at seven thirty. Maybe you can help her up...only if we're still in bed though...I don't want to wake him unnecessarily."

"Sure, I can do that," Mattie said, while weary herself, she didn't want to add any stress to Harm and Mac's lot.

By the time 7:30 came around, Mac was sound asleep but Harm was up and met Mattie as she was coming up the stairs.

"Morning, Mattie," he said brightly, "You're up early."

"So are you, considering," she replied, giving him a quick hug.

"What do you mean?" he questioned, resting his arms on her shoulders.

"I mean, given you were awake half the night, I figured you'd still be asleep," she said, looking up at him.

"I wasn't awake, Mats," he said with a laugh. "We were asleep by nine and Mac's still asleep."

"You were asleep by nine," she corrected. "Mac was still awake after midnight trying to soothe you."

"Soothe me? I was asleep," he said, with a shake of his head.

It took Mattie a few minutes to explain his night's 'sleep' as she knew it and why she was heading up the stairs when she still needed a few more hours sleep herself. After Harm had thanked her for the information, he allowed Mattie to pass so she could help Grams get up and dressed while he headed to the kitchen to start preparing his grandmother's breakfast. As he did he tried to figure out how he was going to face his wife. He was trying so hard to do nothing to hurt her but it seemed even in his sleep he was giving her cause for concern.

With the coffee brewing and the bread ready for toasting, Harm heard Mattie and his grandmother on the stairs. Quickly, he went to the foot of the stairs to see if he could offer any assistance.

"Not need two people..." Grams snapped when she saw him there.

"Good morning to you too, Grams," he said, ignoring her tone. "I came to ask you what you would like for breakfast."

"Tea. Toast," she said, taking another wobbly step.

"What would you like on your toast?" he questioned, knowing the more he spoke the less Mattie had to contend with.

"Jelly. Grape," she said. "Don't not burn it."

"Grape jelly on unburnt toast and tea coming right up, ma'am," he said with a mock salute, which earned him a glare from his grandmother. "What would you like, Mattie?"

"Coffee," she replied. "About a gallon of it."

"And to eat?" he probed as Grams reached the last step and reached out to lean on Harm.

"Just the coffee..." she said, glad to relinquish Grams to his care.

"Too shkinny...eat," Grams said as she was led to the chair.

"I'm fine..." Mattie began but Grams shook her head.

"Eat...now!"

Settling Grams at the table, Mattie sat beside her and accepted the plate of grape jelly covered toast Harm offered her. She'd rather sleep than toast but, to save herself from Grams' bad side, she decided to eat; she could always nap later on.

After breakfast, Harm helped Grams out onto the sofa on the porch. After a week in hospital she was keen to have some fresh air in her lungs and sunshine on her face. Settling her with a cup of tea, Harm turned to go inside when Grams instructed him to sit.

"Shtay," she ordered, pointing to the space alongside her. Dutifully, Harm sat down. "Why you come all thish way?"

"To see how you were," he said, taking her hand. "And to see if anything needed to be done to keep you safe here."

"I'm fine," she said adamantly.

"I know," he agreed. "But I needed to see for myself."

"You have enough...Mac...baby...kidsh..." she said slowly, hoping he'd understand her point.

"And you..." he said, squeezing her hand. "You're my Grams and I'm your boy and I'll always be here for you."

"You not shleep," she said with teary eyes. "You worry too mush."

"I worry just the right amount," he said, though he knew right now he was doing a whole lot of worrying about a whole lot of things.

"Too mush," she insisted. "Go shee Sarha...it'sh late...she shtill shleep."

"I will," he said, standing and kissing her head. "Will you be alright here?"

"No," she said with a shake of her head, and a mischievous glint in her eyes. "I going to fall off the porcsh doing the tango."

She could hear Harm laugh all the way into the house.

At the top of the stairs, Harm slowly opened the bedroom door and hoped he wouldn't wake Mac if she was still sleeping. Seeing she was, and he hadn't, he slowly closed it once more and headed back down.

"Morning, Harm," Colin said, coming from the back door. "You doing okay this morning?"

"Yeah, fine, thanks. Yourself?" he asked.

"Not too bad...nothing a solid eight hours sleep wouldn't improve," he said, wiping his hands on a rag.

"You're not sleeping?" he questioned, eying the younger man.

"Well, I'm trying but Mattie's up and down worried about everything...like last night, she disappeared just after midnight, said she was just checking on something...I think she needs to relax," he said, his voice full of concern.

"Um...sorry," Harm said sheepishly. "I believe she was checking on me."

"What was wrong?" Colin asked, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Apparently, I was very restless and yelling in my sleep," he recounted. "I'll have to get the details when Mac wakes up."

"She's still asleep?" Colin asked, glancing up at the clock.

"Yeah," he said nodding. "First time in a long time there hasn't been someone under this big..." He used his hand to indicate Lily's height. "...Trying to climb into bed or wake her up around dawn."

"Life must be pretty hectic ...and will get more so with four kids eight and under..." Colin observed.

"Rethinking how smart it was to agree to move here with us?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope," he replied with a shrug. "It was just an observation. I grew up in a place which was like a halfway house for any neighbourhood child... I'm used to a cast of thousands... Your four will be a piece of cake."

Harm laughed. He wouldn't consider the care of four young children so simple a task.

As the time ticked on, Harm wondered whether he should actually go and see Mac again, see if she was just sleeping or whether there was something wrong. With Colin back out in the barn, and Mattie chatting to Grams, he figured it was the best time. However, just as he turned for the stairs, he heard voices outside and went to investigate.

It was Mrs Anderson, from next door, and Mrs Stevens, from the property on the other side of hers, coming to visit with Grams. Harm warmly greeted them both before he and Mattie went to prepare morning tea for them. When he was sure the women were content and not in need of either of their services, Harm brought Mattie back inside with him.

"Now, I know how those women are when they get together and it's my guess we've got at least two hours before a new pot of tea needs to be brewed and sandwiches made for lunch. So, you..." he said, placing his hands on her shoulders and turning her to face her bedroom. "...Go lay down...I know you have been running yourself ragged this week...now I'm here, you rest."

With one more check on the women and Mattie gone to bed, Harm headed up the stairs once more. Easing open his door, Harm entered and quietly shut the door behind him before slipping off his shoes and climbing into bed beside his wife. It took her next to no time to register his presence and slip snugly into his arms.

Seven long minutes later, Mac yawned and looped an arm around his neck.

"Mmmorning," she murmured, placing a kiss on his chest.

"Morning, gorgeous," he replied, kissing her head. "Sleep well?"

"Yeah, I..." she started before her eyes popped open. "Shit! It's 1046...Is it really 1046?"

"Yes, it is," Harm said, not letting her go when she tried to jump up.

"Grams...I said..." she began but Harm pressed a finger to her lips.

"Grams is up, dressed, has had breakfast and is now visiting with Mrs Anderson and Mrs Stevens and enjoying a delicious morning tea," he said, rubbing her back.

"You did all that?" she asked, settling back into her husband's arms.

"Mattie and I," he said, studying her face.

"I should get up ... there are things to do around here... like vacuuming and ..." she started.

"Mattie's sleeping now," Harm said, "She's not been sleeping properly. So, you can't really do anything which makes noise at the moment."

"There's breakfast..." she began.

"Well, that I can let you up for," he conceded, kissing her head.

Letting her go, Harm waited for Mac to get up but to his surprise, and delight, she snuggled back into him and sighed deeply.

"In a few minutes," she said dreamily.

Really, there was nothing more important than an extra few minutes of bliss in her husband's arms.

Nothing except food, and that amendment was made abundantly clear when her stomach growled loudly followed by a gurgling and grumbling Harm hadn't heard in a long time.

By the time Sunday afternoon came around, and with Harm and Mac's departure imminent, they surveyed the house, quite pleased with the state they were leaving it in. Harm and Colin had fitted additional rails and fixed a few minor things, like the curling rug, which could be tripping hazards for Grams. Mac and Mattie had cleaned the house thoroughly and laundered clothes and bed linen. For the most part, Grams had been kept occupied by one of the quartet or by a visit from a concerned neighbour.

Now, after Harm had loaded the two small bags they had brought into the trunk of Mac's car, he stood in the driveway studying the house once more.

"What are you thinking?" Mattie asked, hooking her arm through his.

"I'm thinking there's a lot to do here," he replied, wrapping his arm around her.

"There is," she agreed. "But nothing that can't wait until you're living here."

"And what about Grams?" he questioned. "It's been a week since her stroke and you're already run off your feet."

"That was the running back and forth to the hospital all week," Mattie corrected.

"You still look tired, Mats," Harm said, gently caressing her face.

"You can talk," she said. "You're still not sleeping properly. I heard you talking in your sleep again last night. And one look at Mac shows she's not getting much rest either."

"I'm trying to fix that..." he said quietly.

"Keeping yourself awake won't help," she said, knowing Harm had gone to bed very late the previous night.

"Well, I can't go to sleep and I can't stay awake ...so where does that leave me?" he asked rather despondently.

"It leaves you trying to deal with what the actual issues are, Harm," she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. "Mac's feeling well, she looks well...albeit tired. You, on the other hand, aren't coping at all with this pregnancy.

"I don't want to lose her, Mattie. I can't lose her," he whispered.

"What is it you used to tell me during my recovery? Don't worry about how things will turn out; just concentrate on one step, one day, at a time. The rest will take care of itself," she said quietly.

"Yeah, that sounds like something I would have said," Harm said with a slight smile.

"So, was it sound advice or just a line you were feeding me?" she questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Sound advice," he said as Mattie moved around to hug him.

"Then follow it, Harmon," she said sternly.

**Thanks for reading! **


	48. Chapter 48

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**AN: We're nearly there, folks! Thanks to those still reading and reviewing.**

**----------------change--------------------**

Halfway home, Harm pulled into the gas station so Mac could use the bathroom and while she did, he purchased soda for them both along with chocolate ice cream for her.

"Ooh, yum," she said when she spied the iced confection in his hand.

"Me or the ice cream?" he asked with a tired smile.

"Both!" she replied, kissing his cheek as she took the ice cream.

Linking his fingers through hers, they walked towards the car.

"Let's get out the blanket and go have a little picnic down there," she said, nodding towards a scattering of trees near a creek. "We've got time."

Settled on the blanket not five minutes later, Mac ate her ice cream while Harm just lay on the blanket and watched her.

"Want some?" she asked when she realised she was his sole focus.

"No ice cream," he answered with a shake of his head.

It didn't take long for Mac to devour her treat and, once she did, she lay next to him, her head resting on his chest, her right arm stretched up and her fingers blindly caressing his head.

"This is nice," she said after five minutes of comfortable silence had slipped by.

"Yes, it is," Harm agreed, kissing her crown.

With a deep breath, Mac pushed herself to roll over and on top of her husband. Her new position gave her the perfect opportunity to kiss him thoroughly, which she did.

As the kiss deepened, and progressed, Mac could feel her husband's body responding to hers and she smiled. This was something which hadn't happened nearly as often as it should have in recent times.

Gently thrusting into him, Mac relished in the feel of his interest.

"Mac..." he groaned, when she pulled back for breath. "We...ah...we shouldn't let this get out of hand."

"Why?" she asked innocently as her hand slipped between them and undid the button of his jeans.

"Because..." he started but when she lowered his zip and her hand slipped inside his jeans he couldn't formulate the rest of the sentence.

"Because?" she prompted with a smirk.

"Because...we're in public," he managed, trying to move her hand, though not trying very hard.

"We're in a clump of trees, by a creek, without a soul around," she replied. "It's hardly public."

Looking deep into her husband's eyes, Mac could see his love, his desire and his concern about their current location.

"If you really don't want to..." she trailed, pulling away.

"I never said that," he replied, pulling her back to him. "I...I...just...."

"What you need is to relax," she said quietly. "You have been far too stressed lately and I think this is the perfect way to relax you," she added with a saucy wink.

Harm smiled; he loved the way his wife relaxed him. "But if you relax me now, how am I going to drive home?"

Leaning down, Mac whispered into his ear. "If you 'drive' me now, I'll drive you after." Harm nearly choked on his own breath.

Never being able to resist his wife's advances, and not really wanting too, Harm consented. With a quick scan of the area, Mac made sure there was no one else around before ensuring irrelevant clothing was appropriately discarded. In the following ten minutes, the sounds of nature were accompanied by those of a couple in love and all too soon, Mac slumped onto him, blissfully satiated by their encounter.

"Well, that was something different," Harm said as he stroked her hair.

"Different how?" she asked, forcing herself to look up at him.

"Well, we're usually on a bed...or in the shower for one," he said, pushing the hair back from her face.

"I know, but it's good to get out of the house once in a while," she said with a wink.

In the nearly ten years since their marriage she had tried to encourage him to think beyond the house walls when it came to sex. Alas, he wasn't a fan of expressing his desires in any situation which may be considered risky. When she'd suggested to him that they have sex in the water while enjoying a dusk swim on a secluded beach during their honeymoon, Mac thought Harm was going to have a coronary. Still, wanting to cater to every whim of his new bride, Harm had indulged, and enjoyed it despite himself.

That one encounter, however, didn't make him a fan of such pursuits and this occasion was only the second outdoor experience for them.

"I've missed this," he said, kissing her cheek. "Just you and me and nothing else."

"Me too," she agreed, stroking his face. "Life has certainly got in the way, hasn't it?"

"Yeah," he agreed quietly. "Though I wouldn't swap our life for anything," he quickly added.

"Me neither," Mac concurred. "But being a little less hectic and stressful would be appreciated."

"I'd agree with that," Harm said, sighing as he realised they had to get back on the road soon.

"Let's make a pact," she said climbing off him and pulling on her jeans.

"Yeah? What's that?" he asked, copying her actions.

"At least once a month – you, me and nothing but nature..." she said, raising an eyebrow and hoping he'd get her exact meaning.

"I could agree to that," he said, grabbing hold of her hand and pulling her body flush against his. He knew that that farm was surrounded with plenty of private space the two of them could explore.

"Let's make another pact..." she said, knowing she was probably pushing her luck.

"What's that?" he asked, resting his arms over her shoulders and linking his hands.

"That we stop stressing over the things we can't control," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"That's easier said than done," he said, knowing by 'we' she really meant him.

"I know it won't be easy but I think it's the only way we're going to get through the next few months without driving ourselves or each other crazy," she said, pulling him closer.

"I'm being difficult to live with, aren't I?" he asked, prepared to take responsibility for his recent actions.

"No," she said quickly, kissing his cheek. "But I know with every else that I've got to contend with in the coming months, that I'm going to need you with me."

"And I will be with you," he replied, pressing her against him. "Always and forever."

"Physically, yes, but I also need you with me mentally and emotionally, and you not coping isn't going to allow that," she said gently.

"I'm coping," he said defensively and Mac used her strength to hold onto him as he tried to pull back.

"I didn't mean you weren't," she said, caressing his face. "But..."

"I'm not coping well..." he finished for her before resting his forehead against hers.

"We are going to have the most amazing life, Harmon...we already do, honey," she all but whispered as her gaze locked on his and he listened intently to every word. "But for that to continue, I need you to live in the moment, to trust me to know my body and to let you know when there's something amiss."

"I do trust you," he whispered in reply, his voice thick with emotion.

"Then trust that I am doing well," she said as her lips brushed his. "And I will do better if we both are able to get some solid, sound sleep."

His promise to try came in the form of an amazingly intense kiss.

Following that weekend, life got back to as normal as possible in a hectic household. Trish and Frank had stayed until the Wednesday before heading up to the farm themselves. They intended to stay as long as necessary, whether it was to help Grams or to support Mattie and Colin. Mac continued to work half days and Harm was much better in dealing with the pregnancy and while his concerns hadn't disappeared, he was no longer as disturbed in his sleep.

Lily was enjoying school and while she was still a little put out that she didn't get to make the trip to the farm, she knew better than to voice it. The twins, for their part, didn't know any different and so long as there were hugs and kisses and bedtime stories, they were fine.

Each day there were at least three phone calls between the MacKenzie –Rabb family and the farm. The one Mac made from her desk first thing each morning. The second one made by Harm sometime in the afternoon. The third made by Lily before she went to bed. Each one served to tighten the ties between all parties and to ensure Grams recovery was going as well as it should and that Mattie and Colin had all the support they needed.

Through October, there had been numerous weekend trips to the farm to check on things. Most had been by Harm and Lily, although Jimmy Roberts had tagged along too. Mac's 12 week scan had gone well and gave her a new sense of confidence that all would be well. While Harm was relieved by the outcome, he still couldn't bring himself to trust all would be well. In fact, he didn't think anything but having their new baby in his arms and his wife healthy and happy would convince him that this pregnancy was a good thing.

The weather grew much colder in November and with Thanksgiving around the corner, Mac and Harm decided to take a few days of leave and head to the farm for the whole Thanksgiving week. In recent weeks, Mac had begun packing their house for the move, doing a little each afternoon and, given that they weren't selling up, found it to be a much easier task than she imagined.

Arriving on the Saturday before Thanksgiving, Mac eased herself out of the car, her expanded belly hidden under a large sweatshirt. With 18 weeks of her pregnancy gone, and everything going well, they had decided that perhaps it was time they told Lily and the twins of the arrival. All the important people in their lives knew but not knowing how the pregnancy would go, they had held off on telling the children for as long as possible. However, they now knew their time was up as there had been a few comments from Lily in recent days which indicated she knew something was happening, she just wasn't sure what, except that her mommy was getting fat from all the chocolate she was eating and her lack of exercise.

Warm greetings were exchanged and Mac was very pleased to see how well Grams had recovered from her stroke. It had been nearly two months since that day and aside from some trouble with the stairs and the occasional slurred word when she was tired, Grams' recovery was almost complete. Lily was quick to take her bag up to her bedroom as she was trying hard to prove to everyone she was responsible.

On her last visit to the farm, two weeks earlier, she had begged her dad to be allowed to have a horse. Harm's first response was no, but after a late night discussion with Colin, who was intending to buy a couple the following year, Harm figured it wouldn't hurt for Lily to have one she could look after. Instead of agreeing with his daughter, Harm had explained to her the following day that he was seriously considering her request and that her behaviour and attitude between then and when they officially moved to the farm would be a key factor in his determination.

In the two weeks since, Lily had been the perfect child. Using her manners without fail, doing things without being asked, helping out her siblings and sleeping through the night and staying in her bed each morning, something Harm had been very impressed with...and appreciative of.

In the first few days, Harm and Colin worked outside, preparing things for the coming winter. Mattie was spending her time on the plans for the hangars, office and air strip in the rear fields. The way she figured it, they could have it operational at a basic level by summer.

Grams spent her time working in the kitchen with Lily as a helper, that was when Lily wasn't occupied in completing the schoolwork Mac had collected for her to do during her absence from school. Some days, Lily wished her parents weren't so organised and responsible.

Meanwhile, Mac had been going through reams of paperwork. Grams had kept every bit of paperwork her in-laws had left, then there was everything she had accumulated in her own seventy odd years on the farm. Many of the papers related to things which we no longer relevant; like a receipt for a cart purchased in the 1930's and long since gone. Another related to a receipt for a doctor's visit for Harm...when he had his first inoculations.

Carefully, Mac sorted through the papers, placing them in a range of piles. Even though most were useless to the current running of the farm, they provided snippets of history and she decided against throwing them out.

Early on Tuesday morning, Mac was woken by Harry's cries. Quickly, she padded across the hallway hoping his cries didn't wake his sisters.

"Hey, Harry," she whispered, scooping him up and holding him close. "What's wrong, baby?"

Harry's only response was to bury his head into Mac's neck and sob harder.

"Hey, hey, ssh, baby," she soothed, kissing his head. "You're okay."

Realising her son wasn't going to settle quickly, Mac backed out of the room with her boy and closed the door behind them. Not wanting to risk waking Grams or returning to her room and waking her husband, Mac carried the still crying boy downstairs to the kitchen. Having a good look at him, Mac couldn't see anything wrong, however Harry left her in no uncertain terms that there was something seriously amiss.

"Did you have a bad dream?" she asked, heading into the living room so they didn't disturb Mattie and Colin. Harry just cried.

Lying on the sofa, Mac held her little boy close, pulling a throw rug up and around them both. With repeated kisses and soothing words, Harry cried himself to sleep once more; never once letting go of his mother.

It was just after three that Mac awoke to Harm caressing her face.

"What's happening?" he asked, lifting the rug to see Harry sleeping.

"Harry was really distressed and I was having a hard time settling him, so we came down here," she said with a yawn.

"What's wrong?" he asked, pulling up the rug once more.

"No idea," she replied, rubbing the child's back.

"Well, it's too cold down here, so let's get you both upstairs and into bed," Harm said, pulling back the covers and picking up his son.

Once Harry was secure against his chest, Harm used his free hand to help Mac stand before wrapping his arm around her and heading towards the stairs. The movement was enough to wake Harry and he was quiet for a moment until he realised he was not in his mommy's arms. His cries were instant as too were his arms shooting out to hang onto Mac. In the end, Harm had no choice but to allow his little legs to follow.

Helping his wife navigate the stairs, Harm ushered them into the bedroom before closing the door behind them. Mac climbed into bed with the child still attached to her and despite her efforts to settle him in the bed beside her, Harry would simply not let go. In the end, she rolled onto her back and allowed him to settle on top of her before Harm fixed the covers and slipped in beside them.

"What do you think the trouble is?" Harm asked as he propped up on an elbow beside them and rubbed his son's back.

"No idea," she replied. "This is so not like him."

And she was right; Harry was the best sleeper of all three and usually didn't show any parental preference when needing comfort. Tonight, Mac was clearly the only one he wanted and he was determined to have her.

**Thanks for reading! **

**Two chapters to go!!!**


	49. Chapter 49

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**AN: We're nearly there, folks! Thanks to those still reading and reviewing.**

**----------------change--------------------**

Tuesday's daylight saw no real change in Harry's demeanour. While he was quiet, when nestled deep in his mother's arms, the moment she went to put him down, or hand him off to his father, the piercing wails were back. In the end, Mac got very little done and spent most of the day curled up on the sofa with her son. Despite the circumstances, Harm was quite pleased; he had been thinking Mac had been overdoing things lately.

Seeing no real improvement in their son, Harm arranged for the doctor to visit. Wednesday afternoon was the earliest he could make it and it couldn't have come soon enough as Rose had woken Wednesday morning feeling just as out of sorts as her brother. The difference between the twins though, was that Rose was prepared to go to anyone who would hold and comfort her while Harry was his mommy's boy and no one was going to interfere.

The diagnosis, in the end, was fairly simple; the twins had acquired ear infections, most likely from day care. The twins loved day care and Harm and Mac would love it too if it didn't include the bugs, bumps and germs which came with it. Rose's ear infection was in the right ear only, mild and in its early stages. Harry's, on the other hand, was quite severe in his left ear and mild in his right, meaning, that despite medical intervention, they would still have a miserable little boy for a few days yet.

Before dinner, Mac was sitting at the kitchen table, with Harry straddling her lap, the left side of his head pressed into his mother's chest. With one hand wrapped around the boy, she was trying to help prepare vegetables for dinner with her right.

"Why don't you let me do that?" Mattie asked, coming from the living room and taking the knife from Mac.

"Where's Rose?" she asked, looking behind Mattie.

"Asleep on the sofa," she explained. "Lily's watching cartoons and keeping an eye on her."

"Thanks," said Mac, shifting the chopping board across.

"How's Harry doing?" Mattie asked, sitting in the chair next to them.

"Alright as long as I'm holding him," Mac said with a weary smile for her little boy.

"He's definitely a mommy's boy, isn't he?" Mattie said, patting the child's back.

"He is at the moment," Mac said, although she doubted being referred to as a 'mommy's boy' was something Harry would want to be known as when he was older.

Mac settled into bed early that night with Harry still pressed into her and Rose lying beside her. Rose was asleep within minutes of her head hitting her daddy's pillow, but Harry, after a day of sleeping on and off, wasn't as sleepy.

"Come on, little man," Mac encouraged, willing him to sleep so she could get up once more and maybe give her husband a hug for the first time in two days. "Go to sleep for mommy, please."

It took nearly an hour but Harry eventually gave into his fatigue and drifted off. Mac lay there for another twenty minutes to ensure he remained asleep. Once sure he was fully asleep, Mac slid back from the child, grabbing her sweater and wrapping it around her pillow, she placed it into Harry's grasp and soon the little boy snuggled into it.

"Well, well, well," Harm said as he spied Mac coming down the stairs. "Is this my wife?" He came to stand at the foot of the stairs. "I wasn't sure I'd recognise you without a child attached."

"I still have one," she said, patting her rounded stomach.

"Come here," he said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close, just taking a few moments to enjoy her warmth and inhale her jasmine and vanilla shampoo. "How are you doing?"

"Okay," she replied, resting her head on his shoulder as he led her to the table.

"Let me get you something to eat, you barely ate before," he said as he pulled out her chair.

"That would be good," she said, kissing his cheek before she sat.

As Mac ate, Grams and Mattie started work on the Thanksgiving dinner for the following day while Colin brought in more firewood which he'd stacked on the porch earlier in the day. Harm spent his time less productively; he was sitting next to Mac, just watching her.

"Am I not doing it right?" she asked, indicating her plate.

Harm smiled and shook his head. "Sorry," he apologised. "You're just so beautiful."

"Sure," she replied with a laugh. "I'm in old sweats, haven't managed a shower or to brush my hair today and I'm sure I've got Harry's tears and mucus all over me."

"Mac!" Mattie groaned.

"It's all a part of having kids, Mattie," she said with a smile. "You'll find out for yourself one day."

"One day in the distant future," Mattie muttered; while she wanted kids, she wasn't ready for them just yet.

"You never know, Mats," Mac said with a wink.

"Oh, I know," she said, confidently. "Are you telling me you're ready to be grandparents?"

"No! No, we're not," Harm said emphatically causing everyone to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Colin asked coming into the room.

"Harm's not ready to be a grandpa," Mac said and Colin's eyes widened and mouth dropped opened.

"Relax, Col," Mattie said, rubbing her fiancé's arm. "It won't be for a long time yet."

"Oh, okay," he said, recovering a little. "You know how to give a guy a heart attack."

"You don't want to give me great-great-grandbabies?" Grams asked, putting down her cup.

"One day, Grams," Colin said. "But I'd at least like to be married and living in our own house when it happens."

Grams smiled, that was an answer she approved of.

Thanksgiving dawned later than anticipated and Harm was surprised by the time. He smiled to see Mac and the twins were still asleep. While he wouldn't openly advocate that his wife was doing too much, and while he wouldn't wish illness on his children, ever, he was appreciating the fact the illness had coincided with Mac's need for rest and that his son had played his part in only wanting his mommy.

Heading downstairs, he found Mattie, Grams and Lily sitting at the kitchen table.

"Happy Thanksgiving, everyone," he said, kissing Lily's head.

"Happy Thanksgiving, daddy," Lily replied before Grams and Mattie offered their sentiments.

"Did you sleep well?" Mattie asked, glancing up at the clock, surprised it was already nine and Harm was only getting up.

"Yes, I did, thanks," he said, kissing Mattie's head as he moved around the table.

"Mac and the twins still asleep?" she asked as he moved to kiss Grams.

"Yes, and hopefully they will be for awhile," he said, knowing she had been up to the bathroom a couple of times in the night and then Harry had needed her for a cuddle sometime around three.

Harm ate his breakfast and chatted with the ladies before heading out to the barn to help Colin on the maintenance work he was doing. When he returned to the house about eleven, Mac was sitting at the table, Harry leaning on her as she fed him breakfast. Rose was happy to sit in her chair and have Grams' undivided attention.

"And how are we this morning?" he asked, kissing Rose's head.

"We're feeling a bit better," Mac replied, answering for her daughter before craning her neck to kiss her husband.

"And Harry?" he probed, as his son lethargically lay against his mother.

"Better than yesterday," she said as Harm kissed his son's head. "He sat with Mattie while I had a shower and got dressed, so that's something."

"Is he eating?" he asked, looking at the plate of toast still in front of them.

"He had some cereal but isn't too keen on the toast," Mac reported, rubbing the child's back.

"Maybe he's just saving room for the turkey this afternoon," Harm said crouching beside his boy. "Do you want some of Grams' famous baked turkey?"

"Turkey," Harry said, managing a small smile.

By two, there was a Thanksgiving feast set out on the kitchen table, more than enough to feed the eight people gathered around it.

"It looks incredible," Mac said, her mouth salivating at the thought of enough turkey to see her through to Christmas.

Joining hands, Grams led them in prayer before Harm moved to carve the turkey. As he did, Grams asked him what he was thankful for.

"I'm thankful for my gorgeous wife, wonderful children, amazing grandmother, beautiful family and a future full of hope and prosperity," he said, looking at each person around the table.

"I'm thankful that you, Harm, came into my life when I was a kid and made all this possible," Mattie said, waving her hand across the table. "I know my life would have been a whole lot different had you not fought like you did to be my guardian. You've given me the family I never thought was possible and I love you and Mac and the kids and Grams, so much. I'm also thankful to have met you, Colin. You are the love of my life and I can't wait to spend each and every day with you, forever and ever." She leant over and kissed him.

"Well, Mattie," Colin began. "Of all the things in the world I am most thankful for you. Every day is brighter, every day is better since I met you and I still can't believe you will soon be my wife. You have given me so much and I haven't the words to thank you for that. As for you all..." he continued, looking around the table, "I'm thankful for you welcoming me into the family, allowing us to live on the farm and allowing me to share your lives." He returned her kiss.

"There are many things I am thankful for," said Grams, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "For my health, for my home and for being surrounded by love and family at a time when I thought I'd face my final years alone."

"Lily," Mac said. "What are you thankful for?"

"I'm thankful we are moving here and that we have chocolate cake for dessert and that Amy can come visit and that I've finished my extra homework and that Mattie said she'd play Monopoly with me later," she said, smiling broadly.

The twins were too young to contribute but Rose seemed to be thankful for the doll she was playing with, while Harry was thankful for his mommy's loving arms around him.

"What about you, mommy?" Lily asked and Mac figured it would be the perfect time to break the news to her.

"Well, I'm thankful that Grams has made a good recovery and that she is allowing us to share her home in the coming years. I'm thankful that Mattie and Colin are joining us here today and for the future," she said, turning in her chair to face her daughter. "I am forever thankful for your daddy. He is the most wonderful man in the world and I am thankful for him each and every day. I am thankful to have such a beautiful and loving daughter like you, my precious girl," she continued, caressing Lily's face. "And thankful for Rose and Harry and the joy they bring me." Taking a deep breath, Mac looked to Harm first before turning back to Lily. "And I am thankful for the new baby we are going to have," she said, rubbing her stomach as Lily's eyes widened.

"You're having a baby?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes, I am," Mac confirmed with a nod. "Baby will come about Easter."

"But your uterus is broken," Lily said, not believing what she was hearing. "Dr Mollison was going to take it out."

"I know," Mac said, reaching over to take Lily's hand. "I was just as surprised as you, believe me."

"It's good news, Lil," Mattie said, trying to break the tension that was building.

"Aha," she said, nodding and dropping her head.

"Hey, pumpkin," Harm said, leaving the turkey and moving around to his daughter. "Mattie's right, it's good news, Lily."

"Sure," she said, looking up with tear filled eyes.

"What is it?" Harm asked, wrapping his arms around her.

"Nothing," she said, breaking out of her father's embrace, something she had never done before. "Nothing's wrong."

Dinner was delicious and everyone ate heartily, even Harry enjoyed some turkey and a couple of potatoes. Lily was the only one who didn't seem to have much of an appetite and her parents knew she wasn't impressed by the pregnancy announcement. Mac shook her head, perhaps it wasn't the best way to tell her.

When Lily passed on dessert and asked to be excused from the table, Mac reluctantly agreed, figuring some time on her own may improve her mood. Harm went to follow her as she climbed the stairs but Mac took hold of his hand and tugged him back.

"Leave her," Mac said with a shake of the head.

When Lily hadn't emerged by the time the table had been cleared, Mac handed Harry to his father and was grateful he went without protest. Making her way up the stairs, she wondered what state her daughter would be in and exactly what she was supposed to say to her.

Opening the door, Mac found Lily sprawled on her bed facing the wall so she lay down behind her and wrapped her arm around her daughter's waist. It took a few minutes before Lily rolled over into Mac and revealed her tearstained face.

"Talk to me, baby," Mac said, quietly, rubbing Lily's back.

"I'm not your baby," she mumbled. "Rose is and Harry is and now this one is."

"And you are," Mac corrected. "No matter how many children we have, you'll always be my baby girl." She pressed a kiss to Lily's crown.

"There'll be more?" Lily asked amazed.

"No, no," Mac said quickly. "This is the last one, believe me. We weren't even expecting this one."

"So how come you're having it?" she questioned.

"Because this little one decided to come along by itself..." Mac started.

"It doesn't happen that way, mom," she said with a sigh. "Babies don't just come along."

"No, they don't," Mac agreed. "But daddy and I weren't planning to have him or her."

"But did daddy make love to you? 'Cos he said you did that to have babies and if he did then it shouldn't have been a surprise," she protested.

"Is that why you were upset with daddy downstairs?" she asked with a shake of her head, things were going to get very interesting if both Lily and Harm were blaming him for the pregnancy.

"He shouldn't have done that to you. He shouldn't have given you a baby with your sick uterus," Lily said, not liking this situation at all.

"Oh, Lily," Mac said, pulling her daughter close. "I think we have to have a little mother-daughter chat. I think there are a few things that you should know."

Over the next ten minutes Mac explained the birds and bees in a different fashion than her husband had. She explained to the child that daddy's explanation of 'making love' was right but it was also another term for sex and that men and women had sex regularly and it usually didn't result in a baby, especially in her case when she had endometriosis. Lily listened intently but most of it was over her head. She couldn't quite comprehend why people would want to connect like that. When she expressed that sentiment, Mac laughed and told her she'd think otherwise one day, but also told her that that day wasn't to come for at least another decade. In the end, Lily was assured that the pregnancy was a good thing and that her mommy was well, it was enough for the young girl.

By the time Harm came up to check on things, both Mac and Lily had given into the magic powers of the turkey and were sleeping. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Harm pushed Mac's hair back from her face and woke her in the process.

"Everything alright?" he asked when she sleepily looked up at him.

"Yeah," Mac said looking down at her daughter. "We just cleared the air on a few matters."

"Okay," he said slowly, not sure if he wanted to know what those matters were. "I just wanted to see if Lily wanted some chocolate cake."

"With whipped cream?" Lily mumbled against her mother's chest.

"With whipped cream," Harm said with a laugh; his girls loved their food.

"Aha," said Lily, stretching and yawning.

"So, is everything alright?" Harm asked, helping his daughter climb over her mother.

"Yeah," she said, giving him a hug. "I guess another baby is okay...so long as it's only one this time. I don't think we need another set of twins."

She ran off down the stairs leaving her mother laughing.

"I don't think we need twins again either," Mac said, using Harm's arm to help her sit up. "One will definitely be more than enough."

**One to go!**


	50. Chapter 50

**Change**

This is a sequel to 36 Hours and is set nearly three years on from the original instalment...liberties [aka guesses] have been taken with ages and such.

Disclaimer: Not mine... well, except for the little ones.

**----------------change--------------------**

AN: We're here, finally. It has been a wonderful ride. I have a much longer AN at the end so we'll get right to the story now....

The MacKenzie Rabb's departure from the farm was scheduled at 1000 Saturday. It was pushed back to 1100, then after lunch; finally, Harm had the car loaded with luggage and passengers by three. He couldn't swear to it but he was sure the delay was Mac's doing. She seemed more than reluctant to get their return trip underway, each time coming up with a legitimate cause to push their departure back further.

Once the final farewells had been made, Harm turned around the vehicle and drove the length of the driveway before Mac made him stop.

"What did you forget?" he asked, pulling on the handbrake.

"Um...nothing..." she said, looking back at the house. "Just...ah...give me a minute." Before Harm could say anything Mac had climbed out of the car and walked around to the back, stopping to lean on the vehicle and gaze at the farmhouse.

"What's wrong?" he asked, coming from the driver's side and leaning next to her.

"Um...I...ah...I don't want to leave," she said, her eyes never once leaving the house.

"You don't want to leave?" he echoed as he wrapped an arm around her.

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "I'm tired of leaving all the time. I just want this to be home."

"It will be, soon enough," he said before pressing a kiss to her head. "By spring..."

"No, not spring, now," she said, looking up at him earnestly. "This place is just perfect and I don't see the point in leaving it behind...I mean it's home, it's truly home and..." she continued to ramble but Harm pressed a finger to her lips.

"I'll tell you what," he said, wrapping the other arm around her. "We'll go back to DC and speak to Dr Mollison. If she says it's okay to move before the baby comes then we speak to Cresswell and our detailers and finish up at Christmas. Is that soon enough?"

"Aha," she said with a grin. "I'm sure Dr Mollison will say it's fine. I mean I've been well and everything's been good and as we're not selling the house there's nothing stopping us going back to DC for appointments every couple of weeks and ..."

"And breathe," he said, kissing her nose. He hadn't seen her this excited and animated in a long time. "Dr Mollison first and then we'll make arrangements. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed nodding. "It'll be the perfect Christmas if we're living here permanently...we could get started on the nursery and organise the kids' bedroom and you can even get started on that full bathroom downstairs and ..."

Harm laughed; there was no stopping his wife when she was on a roll. Shaking his head he kissed her once more and headed back to the driver's seat. He had no worries about being bored in retirement, he was sure Mac had a list as long as his arm with all the things she wanted him to work on.

Dr Mollison's consultation was long and detailed as she put Mac through a battery of tests and questions, wanting to ensure that there was a full picture of baby MacKenzie Rabb's health and that of its mother. When everything was completed, Dr Mollison had given her blessing for the move under certain conditions.

The first was that Mac had to take things easy; while there was a lot to do in a new house, especially with Christmas, she was to make sure she rested regularly and didn't exhaust herself. The second was that Mac attend appointments with the OBGYN at the local hospital every two weeks. Dr Mollison said she'd organise the necessary exchange of information. The third was that once a month, for now, and perhaps more frequently closer to her due date, Mac would have to travel to DC to see her. The fourth was that Mac have her baby in Bethesda as the hospital was better equipped should there be any difficulties at that time.

Mac readily agreed to all of it. There was nothing there she couldn't handle and given that they weren't working, they were more than flexible with their time.

Their discussions with General Cresswell went just as well and the both had the same end date, December 21st. They would have their formal farewells in the New Year, when they could be organised in a less rushed fashion. Excited by the prospect of finally moving to the farm, Mac set about packing all necessary items and cleaning those things left behind. Harm spent long hours at JAG finalising case files and paperwork and spent longer hours at night packing up the garage, basement and heavier items around the house.

The twins didn't seem fussed with or perturbed by all the packing and the concept of moving house was lost on them. Lily was caught between being excited and being upset. While she wanted nothing more than to be on the farm with Grams, Mattie and Colin, she really wasn't keen on leaving her friends behind. Each night she eagerly helped her mom and yet each morning she tearfully boarded the bus, not wanting to face the last days at her school.

Mid December, Colin rented a large U-Haul and arrived at Harm and Mac's ready to load all the things which were ready to go. He had brought the single bed from the kids' bedroom and the smaller kitchen setting with him, as was the plan, and exchanged them for Harm and Mac's larger one and Lily's princess bed. Loaded up with boxes, cases, tools and furniture, Colin enjoyed an early dinner with the family before heading back to the farm with his load.

With all the practicalities taken care of, Mac turned her attention to the emotional side of things and debated how to say goodbye to DC and their friends. Any plans she was going to make were usurped when she checked the mail and found an invitation to their own farewell. It was to be a combination Christmas – Farewell party, hosted by Bud and Harriet and the RSVP already indicated they were expected and 'no' wouldn't be taken as an answer.

And so it was that December 22 saw Harm, Mac and the kids leave their home for a night with the Roberts. Mac spent the trip across town trying not to cry. Her emotions were raw and her hormones weren't helping, neither was Lily who had cried her little heart out since finishing school the day before. As Harm pulled up in the driveway, he had to wonder whether the move was a good thing, and even if it was, then perhaps the farewell party was going to be a bit too much for his tearful girls.

Climbing out of the car, Harm opened the back door and unbuckled Harry, then Rose before helping them out and getting Lily to take them to the door. Opening the trunk, Harm grabbed the bags of presents before closing it and making his way around to Mac who was still sitting in the car.

Putting the bags down, Harm opened her door before looking up to check on the kids. Seeing the front door open and AJ come out, he knew they were in good hands.

"Now," he said, reaching in and unbuckling her belt. "Are you going to be okay?" Mac nodded tearfully as he wiped her face. Harm kissed her head before holding her face in his hands. "Are you sure?" he checked, not wanting to put through anything she wasn't up to.

"Sorry I'm a mess," she said, resting her head on his chest.

"You're okay," he said, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her head.

"Yeah, I know," she said with a sigh. "I really want this move, I guess I just wasn't ready for all the emotion...and then with Lily, the poor baby has just cried and cried since we picked her up from school yesterday. I mean, I know she'll be alright but it just breaks my heart to see her in this state."

"And it breaks my heart to see you in this state," he whispered before kissing her once more.

"Sorry," she repeated and then sighed deeply.

Fighting every instinct to stay in the car to avoid the scenes she knew was coming, Mac took a deep breath, kicked the marine inside her into gear and climbed out. She could do this, she could!

The party was a small affair, aside from both families, there was the General and his wife, Jennifer Coates and Sturgis and Varese. Dinner was a Christmas buffet and presents were exchanged. Mac had pulled herself together and Lily had been distracted by the Roberts children. When the time drew near to say goodbye, Mac rounded up the children and preoccupied herself with putting their jackets and hats on them, paying close attention to straightening sleeves, collars and cuffs.

When she finally allowed herself to look up, she saw everyone was watching her.

"It's time," Harm said and though he was trying to fight it, his own eyes were already filled with tears.

"Yeah, I know," she whispered, gritting her teeth and telling herself to suck it up.

Saying goodbye to the other adults was easier than she had expected, and saying goodbye to the kids was hard but she was able to get through it. However, when it came time for Harm and Mac to say goodbye to Bud and Harriet the tears flowed freely.

While they all knew this wasn't goodbye forever, it was an end to this phase of their lives. A phase which had seen them together for eighteen years and, in that time, seen the most amazing highs and lows a person, and a couple, could ever experience. There didn't seem to be the words to say all the things he wanted to, so Bud simply took Harm in an embrace and hugged him tightly. "Thank you" and "Good luck" were the two phrases he could manage, and Harm didn't do much better himself.

Turning to Harriet, as Bud farewelled Mac, Harm held and kissed her, promised to call regularly and visit each time they were down to Bethesda. Then he released Harriet so she could say goodbye to Mac and if Mac had any inclination she was going to tough it out, it was gone the moment Harriet embraced her.

The embrace was long and tearful and it seemed forever until Harriet pulled back.

"I'm going to miss you so very much, Mac," Harriet said, wiping her own tears.

"I'm going to miss you too," Mac echoed, "More than I ever thought possible. You have been such an amazing asset to our lives and I have no idea what I'm going to do without you just a phone call away."

"I will always be just a phone call away, Mac," she replied. "If you ever need me, just call and I'll be there."

"And you call me too, for anything...any time... right?" Mac countered. Their relationship had always been reciprocal and she wanted to make sure Harriet remembered that.

"Right," Harriet said, with a deep sigh.

With another hug, another kiss and a few fresh tears, Harm ushered his wife and children out of the front door and into the car. They all waved furiously as Harm backed down the driveway and waved until they were out of sight.

Tucking his children into bed for their last night before the move, Harm made sure to kiss and hold them extra tight. While the twins just had the feeling of being squashed, Lily appreciated the extra love and gripped her daddy tightly until she fell asleep.

"How are you doing?" Harm asked Mac as she appeared from their bathroom, her nearly six month baby bump protruding from beneath the tank top she had on.

"Okay," she said, with a sniffle. "I'm so glad it's over though...now, I just can't wait until we get there tomorrow."

"Me neither," he agreed, locking the door behind him and padding over to his wife.

"You got something on your mind?" she asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing at the door.

"Well...if you're up to it...I figured we could spend the last night in this house like we did the first night..." he said with a mischievous grin.

"I'm sure I'll be up to it," she said, linking her hands around his neck. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'll be up for it...just give me a minute," he said as his lips claimed hers.

True to his word, Harm was more than ready for their encounter within minutes and then spent the next while ensuring his wife knew just how much he loved and adored her. Using his body, Harm tried to express everything words couldn't and Mac tried to do the same. In the end, it was more than enough to see them sated, satisfied and sleeping soundly.

The next day, Harm awoke and decided to wake Mac in a way he knew she found more than satisfactory, she did. Coming down from her high she told him she wanted to be woken that way at least twice a week from then on. Harm grinned widely, that was something he was sure he could manage.

With Harm's car fully packed with only room for the twins and Mac's car looking the same, with only room for Lily, the family started off together, agreeing to meet at IHOP on the outskirts of DC for breakfast. After breakfast, they headed towards the farm, stopping once more an hour from the farm for gas and the bathroom.

Driving towards the farm, Mac let Harm lead the way; she knew for him this was truly a 'coming home' experience. She knew this was something he had always wanted but never thought would happen. While she was happy about the move for herself, she was even happier about what it meant for Harm.

That's why it surprised her when he pulled up his vehicle at the start of the driveway and got out. Mac pulled in behind him, told Lily to stay put, and went out to see what's was wrong.

"What's up?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his waist and following his gaze.

"Just wanted to take it all in," he said, his voice thick with emotion.

"It's a special day, indeed," Mac said, kissing his cheek.

"Never would have happened without you," he said, returning the kiss.

"I love you very much," she said, brushing her lips across his.

"Love you too," he replied, deepening the kiss.

"Are we ready yet?" said Lily interrupting the moment.

"Oh, in a minute, I think," said Harm, scooping up his daughter and kissing her.

"What are we looking at?" she asked, wrapping an arm around her father's neck.

"Just the farm," Harm said, wrapping his free arm around his wife. "You know, I don't think it's changed since I was a little kid and yet looking at it today it seems so different."

"That's because it's finally home," Lily said. "Grams says that things can be the same but seem different just because you're different."

"And am I different?" he asked his daughter.

"No, you're still daddy but now we live here, the farm will seem different," she said kissing his forehead.

Harm laughed at the wisdom of his daughter; she'd nailed it. Now that this was finally home he was looking at it through different eyes.

"I can't believe how much has changed in the last twelve months ... the last six months," he said, hugging Mac closer to him.

"Me neither," she replied. "Retirement, relocation, the baby."

"All good things," Harm said, kissing her forehead.

"Change is good," Lily chimed in. "Well, so Grams says."

"Well, here's to all of us and change," Harm said, kissing them both before gazing back at the farmhouse.

Lily and Mac smiled at each other. "Here's to change."

They returned to their cars and drove towards the house ready to start the new phase of their lives and embrace whatever changes lay ahead.

AN: Well, what can I say? A lot apparently... given the 50 chapters and the 130,000 words that make up this story. It is hard to believe the first instalment, '36 Hours' only has four chapters and the second instalment has 50. Makes me wonder what shape the next instalment will take.

I know you all will have a whole lot of questions as to what happens next....about the baby...about the timeframe...but I have no answers at this time. I do plan on there will be another instalment and perhaps other instalments after that.

I'm going to take this opportunity to say a big thank you to JagfanNat for pre-reading all 50 chapters and giving me feedback no matter how busy life has gotten for her.

Thank you too, to all those who have reviewed and commented along the way. It's the positive and supportive nature of those loyal readers who inspire writers to continue to write. With the dwindling interest in this story in later chapters, I can't guarantee I will post the next instalment on this site, however, I will let you know where to find it when the time comes.

So thank you once again, it's been a lovely journey to take with you. Catch you later,

Love Nettie

xoxox


	51. Chapter 51

Just a heads up...the third instalment in this series will be posted in the next few days under the name **Life on the Farm.**

I look forward to you join me on this continuing journey.

love Nettie

xox


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